Today in History

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Rebooting Jeb Bush apologizes to France for mocking them
Jeb Bush’s rebooted campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination included an apology to the French on Tuesday for making a joke about their work ethic.


NOTICE: Short edition today.


If Jeb Bush were a stock, he'd be the entire stock market his brother left us in 2009.- LOLGOP

Man bombed Wal-Mart because it stopped selling Confederate flags, finally convincing everyone that the flag isn't so bad after all.- Adam Wolf

Jughead, Err, Jeb Is Dropping Like A Rock
Donald Trump and Ben Carson have healthy leads over the rest of the Republican presidential field, while Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) is on the rise and former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is fading at 4%, according to a new national survey.

If Republicans move any further to right on immigration, they will technically have been deported.- LOLGOP

They Can't Impeach Obama, So Now They're Going After His Presidential Wallet
GOP presidential candidate and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee suggested that one way Congress could stop the Obama administration from extending visas to immigrants is to cut off funding to the White House.

Marco Rubio trails a reality show star and a grifter on a 2-week book tour by over 10pts in his home state; or as media puts it, 'surging.'- John Fugelsang

Oil Lobbyists Are Very Busy Right Now
Bernie Sanders announced on Wednesday afternoon his support for a new climate bill that would ban all new fossil fuel development on US federal lands and terminate current leases that aren't producing. The bill, called the "Keep It In The Ground Act," would also ban offshore drilling for oil and gas in the Arctic and the Atlantic and would stop new leases for offshore drilling in the Pacific and the Gulf of Mexico.

The GOP candidates have banded together to collectively bargain for better conditions at debates -but don't you try that at your job, k? - John Fugelsang

Every Thanksgiving we all go home to our families and face our own personal Benghazi Committees.- Warren Holstein

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So sorry for the shortened edition but the darn Internet connection was haywire today. Sigh.

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Time To Deflate Photo

A Mongolian Ibex out for a stroll.

Peace.

Republican Infighting Continues :)

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Megyn Kelly Ridicules GOP Debate Letter: Want A Foot Massage Too?
Fox News host Megyn Kelly on Monday night mocked the letter drafted by Republican presidential campaigns listing a series of rules and questions for networks hosting future debates.



The Republican candidates don't want debates; they want free campaign infomercials in prime time.- Tina Dupuy

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Iraq's Ahmad Chalabi, leading voice behind 2003 war, dies
• Ministry: Police break up jihadist terror cell 'ready to attack' Madrid
• Kerry reassures Afghanistan's neighbors over U.S. troop drawdown
• Iran arrests U.S.-Lebanese man in espionage probe: state TV, citing sources
• Syrian minister, in Iran, says no talk of transition from Assad rule
• US satellite detected heat flash at time of Egypt crash: media

UK Split On Syrian Airstrikes
The British government insisted Tuesday that it is still considering airstrikes against Islamic State group targets in Syria, even though an influential group of lawmakers said the military action would be "incoherent" and ineffective without a plan to end the country's civil war.

Weird. There are actual people who thought, "Working for a Bush brother will turn out well."- LOLGOP

House Speaker Paul Ryan said that if Americans want more paid leave "they should do what I did and run for Congress." - Andy Borowitz



Republican Shenanigans

• Fiorina, Kasich, Christie Won't Sign GOP Debate Letter
• Christie Stages Pro-Incarceration Event to Troll Obama
• Jeb Staffer Predicts ‘A Few Weeks Of Bad Polls,’ Gets Mocked
• Donald Trump trumpets his self-declared brilliance in new book ‘Crippled America’
• Republicans trust Trump on economy, nuclear weapons: Reuters/Ipsos poll
• Mississippi Flag Supporter Allegedly Bombs Wal-Mart After Chain Stops Selling Flag

A new poll shows that Republican voters trust Trump on the economy and nuclear weapons, presumably based on his history of bankruptcies and shouting at people.- Andy Borowitz

Ryan Puts Hastert Back In The Closet
One of Paul Ryan's first acts since being elected Speaker last week: removing the portrait of disgraced former Speaker Dennis Hastert that hung for years in the ornate hallway just off the House floor.

Paul Ryan says not to expect #immigrationreform while he's Speaker as that would require someone willing to work more than 3 days a week. - The Daily Edge

Ben Carson Thinks Americans Are As Stupid As He Is!
When retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson, the current GOP 2016 front-runner, campaigns, he routinely pitches "common sense solutions from We the People." But it seems the candidate who celebrates a cheerful and straightforward populism has a fair bit of disdain for many of his fellow citizens, for at a videotaped event last year, while discussing the American people, he declared, "Many of them are stupid."

Trump bankrupting the GOP would almost be too perfect of an ending.- LOLGOP



Rock The Voter News

• Leaked DHS memo shows Obama might circumvent DAPA injunction
• Obama: If GOPers Can't Handle CNBC Moderators, They Can't Handle Putin
• Bernie Sanders Dances Like Drake In Hilarious New ‘Campaign’ Video 

Obama Wants to Debate All 15 GOP Candidates and Their Moms. - LOLGOP

Millennial Women Like Sanders, Not Hillary
Laura Shadle likes Hillary Clinton. But the 23-year-old Penn State senior is more inspired by Bernie Sanders.
Shadle, who is volunteering for the Sanders campaign in Pennsylvania, says it’s more “progressive” to go with the candidate that speaks to her, not the candidate who could make history by becoming the nation’s first woman president.

Carly Fiorina said that after the previous debate, people told her that she needed to smile more. They were like, "Just pretend you're laying off a bunch of people."- Jimmy Fallon

Business/Tech News

• Oil up 2 percent; gasoline adds fuel to rally on Libya, Brazil
• U.S. auto industry headed for record sales in 2015: GM
• Activision buys Candy Crush maker King for $5.9 billion

The top 25 hedge fund managers make more than all kindergarten teachers in the US—combined. We need to fix that.- Hillary Clinton

Milwaukee, A Sex Hub? Milwaukee?
Milwaukee has become “the Harvard of pimp school” and Wisconsin is a hub of human trafficking, an expert has said in the wake of an FBI sting last month in which nine adolescents were rescued from commercial sexual exploitation, meaning Milwaukee tied with Las Vegas for the third highest number of young people rescued during the FBI raids across the country.

There are reports that a movie is in the works based on the game Monopoly. They say the movie will be just like the game because it's four hours long and it ends with your family fighting.- Jimmy Fallon

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Odd News

• 'KFC Halal' falls fowl of Iran police: report
• Taco Bell Executive Who Was Filmed Hitting Uber Driver Gets Fired
• Arizona grandpa leaves girl, 5, in desert with gun: police
• Boston pol says Bieber-graffiti tweet was sarcasm
• Vatican scandal heats up with revelations of greed, intrigue

Time To Deflate Photo

Goodbye Fall.

Peace.

US Speaker Paul Ryan won't work with Obama on immigration

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US Speaker Paul Ryan won't work with Obama on immigration
 Fresh off his election as speaker of the US House of Representatives, Congressman Paul Ryan refused to cooperate with President Barack Obama on immigration, ruling out any reform before 2017.



Immigration: Paul Ryan thinks it's "ridiculous" to talk to the president who has deported more people than any president.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Lebanon 'charges Saudi prince over record drug bust'
• Iran says may quit Syria talks, in worsening spat with Saudi rival
• Michelle Obama arrives in Qatar for education trip
• Merkel's coalition woes deepen with row over refugee transit zones
• Russian airline sees no technical fault, pilot error in Egypt crash

If only we could get Republicans to take mass shootings as seriously as they take "mean" questions at debates.- LOLGOP

War On Obama Continues...
Speaker Paul Ryan’s (R-Wis.) refusal to work with President Obama on immigration is “preposterous,” the White House said Monday.

Press secretary Josh Earnest called Ryan’s claim that he cannot trust the president on the issue “ironic,” given he helped write bipartisan immigration reform legislation in 2013 only to stand with House GOP leaders in Congress who refused to take up a bill.




New GOP Debate Format Calls for Each Candidate to Question Self. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• Jeb Swears He's Tough: 'I Eat Nails When I Wake Up' (VIDEO) 
• Jeb Bush's Hail Mary: Flailing candidate launches “Jeb Can Fix It” tour 
• Poll: Trump Holds Onto Double-Digit Lead In N.H. As Rubio Sees Boost
• Fiorina Tells Women Of 'The View' To 'Man Up' And Debate Her On Policy
• GOP Candidates Reportedly Finalize Demands For Future Debates
• Conservative Texas court to decide if homeschoolers can wait for the Rapture instead of teaching their kids
• Ex-wife Ivana hits Trump’s current spouse Melania: ‘She can’t talk’

George W. Bush: "If I broke it, I'm sure Jeb Can Fix It!" - The Daily Edge

Anonymous Releases KKK Members Names
Four of the five mayors accused of being associated with the Ku Klux Klan by the group “Anonymous” have taken to social media to immediately deny the charges.

The media is so liberal that it once even fact checked a Hillary Clinton email story, a few days after it was published.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

• White House rips Christie for saying Obama doesn't back police
• Bernie Sanders Spends Over $2 Million on First TV Ad
• Americans Didn’t Really Pay Attention to Hillary Clinton’s E-mails

When Jeb drops out of the race I hope he does it with a "Mission Accomplished" banner. - Andy Borowitz

You could listen to all the candidate ideas in the GOP debates, or you could just look at the current economy of Kansas. - John Fugelsang



Business/Tech News

• UPenn enters deal with Abu Dhabi-based VPS Healthcare
• MSNBC's ‘Morning Joe’ hosts score rare Koch interview after attending fancy Koch summit
• Hispanic lawmakers urge NBC to disinvite Trump from SNL

When the entire GOP wants to destroy SS and Medicare to give the rich more $, how can you call any of them "moderate" or "a good guy"?- Kona Lowell

Single Payer Is What's Needed

A top Senate Republican is predicting that ObamaCare could “collapse” this year. 

Sen. John Barrasso (Wyo.), the No. 4 Senate Republican and a leading critic of the healthcare law, made the prediction one day after ObamaCare’s new sign-up period began.

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Odd News

• 2 degrees, flies planes, author, works at NASA. His age? 17
• Albuquerque dentist offering to buy back Halloween candy
•  Israeli minister proposes deporting strays
• Appeals court rules in favor of 'Point Break' parody creator

Time To Deflate Photo

I wonder what happened to the guy who took this picture of the guy taking the picture?

Peace.