All Hat No Cattle

Friday, October 30, 2015

A Lobbyist is the chief of staff for our New Speaker of the House!

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Paul Ryan names top aides
Newly elected House Speaker Paul Ryan said Friday he would turn to close aides to advise him in the Speaker's Office...Ryan previously announced that David Hoppe, a Washington lobbyist who served as chief of staff to former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott (R-Miss.), would be Ryan's chief of staff in the Speaker's office.

"On Monday, former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson endorsed Donald Trump. Tyson joins Trump's biggest group of supporters: 'People Who Have Been Hit in the Head a Lot.'" –Conan O'Brien

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Obama Flip Flops: Boots On The Ground In Syria
The White House will announce Friday that a small number of U.S. special operations forces will be sent into Syria, a major shift in the strategy to combat ISIS.

Dear President Obama,
Sending troops to the Middle East is pretty much the opposite of why we voted for you.
Sincerely,
Everyone who voted for you
- Andy Borowitz

Conservatives believe the media is biased. They also believe that thermometers are biased.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

The guys who want to deport 11 million human beings can't handle bad questions from mean debate man.- LOLGOP

Man, GOP Voters Seem Bushed
Out 70,000 phone calls, only four people in Iowa volunteered to help doomed Jeb Bush campaign
Bush’s top lieutenants assured donors earlier this week that the former Florida governor still had a campaign worth funding, and they handed out an optimistic, 45-page PowerPoint presentation to select reporters afterward.

I am super excited about the brand new Republican front-runner, retired neurosurgeon and current tired person Ben Carson.- Stephen Colbert

Jeb Bush was born in third place and still polls in fourth most of the time.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

Megyn Kelly spent 2 minutes calling Trump a misogynist but you're not allowed to point out that Rubio wants to cut Romney's taxes to zero? - LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

"Carson's strongest support comes from evangelical Christians, a group that Donald Trump has had real trouble with, evidently. People who read the Bible just don't want to follow someone who looks that much like a golden calf." –Stephen Colbert

Lay Offs Right Before The Holidays :(
Energy giant Chevron plans to shed 6,000 to 7,000 jobs and slash its capital investment plan after low energy prices dealt a sharp blow to the company's sales and profit in the third quarter.

"You've got to know when you hold 'em, know when to fold 'em."
— credo of the Origami Guild
- Jeff Tiedrich

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

I woke up this morning to this beautiful sunrise and had to share the photo with you. I love the mist in the mornings. I really do live high in the clouds.

Best wishes for a peaceful Halloween!.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Paul Ryan, New Speaker Of The House Trashes The Old Speaker In Acceptance Speech

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Paul Ryan elected House speaker
Rep. Paul Ryan was elected House speaker Thursday, taking over the leadership of an unruly chamber that must deal with a fiscal mess

Breaking: Republican's tricked into giving Paul Ryan another high-profile position.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

The U.S. Air Force announced today their new model of stealth bomber will cost half a billion dollars each. And, even worse, it uses a different charger than the old model.- Seth Myers

Does This Mean Snowden Is Moving To Europe?
A big win for Edward Snowden came with the narrowest of margins.
By a vote of 285 to 281, Members of European Parliament (MEP) passed a resolution Thursday calling for EU member states to drop criminal charges against the former NSA contractor and protect him from extradition.

If the president were elected by an online poll I do think Trump could win, narrowly defeating bacon.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

The guys defending throwing a teenage girl in a chair across a room think CNBC shouldn't be so mean to conservatives.- LOLGOP

CNBC Anchor Fires Back AT GOP Candidates

CNBC anchor John Harwood took a shot at Republicans who accused him of asking unfair questions at the GOP’s third presidential debate on Wednesday night.

Harwood said in a tweet on Thursday that co-moderating the unruly debate gave him an appreciation for Republican leadership in the House trying to maintain party unity in a divided caucus.

In response to his drop to second in the polls, Donald Trump said today that he will run until the very end and does not mind running from behind. Trump says he knows what it’s like to be the underdog, because he wears one on his head.- Seth Myers

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One of the top political Halloween costumes this year is Donald Trump. Meanwhile, even Jeb Bush doesn’t want to go out dressed as Jeb Bush.- Conan O'Brien

The only reason to have 10 Republicans on one stage is if you're performing the song "Elvira."- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

As a society we should provide help for the mentally ill so they don't have to run for President.- Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

"I didn't realize your job was to elect Hillary president" whispered the Koch Bros lobbyist, as a weeping Trey Gowdy cowered in the corner.- John Fugelsang

Court Sides With NSA. Snowden Must Be Shaking His Head
A U.S. appeals court on Thursday refused to immediately halt the government's bulk collection of millions of Americans' phone records during a "transition" period to a new federal scheme that bans the controversial anti-terrorism surveillance.

Walmart just announced that they are testing drones to deliver merchandise directly to your house. So finally you can buy Pampers, a case of Slim Jims, and a shotgun all without leaving the comfort of your mobile home.- James Corden

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Up, up and away, above the clouds in Cappadocia Turkey

Peace.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Fox's Krauthammer Admits Every GOP-Led Congressional Investigation "Has Failed Or Backfired"

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Fox's Krauthammer Admits Every GOP-Led Congressional Investigation "Has Failed Or Backfired"
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER: Look, this not going to end well. Republicans have demonstrated, if they ever demonstrated anything, Republicans in the Congress have shown that they have no ability to conduct successful investigations of this administration. Everything they have touched has failed or backfired. Even Benghazi..

Republicans impeached Bill Clinton in 1999 and they ~~won~~ stole the 2000 election. That is what the Tea Party wants to repeat.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Donald Trump said in an interview this weekend that Iraq is the “Harvard of terrorism.” And he’s got a point: The only reason George W. Bush got into Iraq is because his dad went there.- Seth Myers

China Is Pounding Its Chest
A state-run Chinese newspaper has claimed the country is "not afraid to fight a war" with the U.S.
"In face of the U.S. harassment, Beijing should deal with Washington tactfully and prepare for the worst," according to the editorial in the Global Times, which came just a day after an American destroyer sailed into disputed waters in an open challenge to Beijing. The newspaper is known to represent the more extreme and nationalistic views of China's political establishment.

Republican Shenanigans

Jeb Bush, who will never be elected, says Rubio can't be elected b/c he's too much like Obama, who was elected twice. - John Fugelsang

Uh Oh. 1000 KKK Identities To Be Released
As the first anniversary of the Ferguson protests approaches, a group identifying itself as the hactivist collective Anonymous has issued a threat to members of the Ku Klux Klan: We've gained access to yet another KKK Twitter account. Using the info obtained, we will be revealing about 1000 klan member identities.

Anonymous is vowing to unhood 1,000 Ku Klux Klan members. The GOP must be terrified.- Warren Holstein

After a great evening and packed auditorium in Iowa, I am now in Colorado looking forward to what I am sure will be a very unfair debate!- Donald Trump Tweet

The Last Republican Speaker Of The House Pleads Guilty
Former Rep. Dennis Hastert (R-IL), who served as speaker of the House from 1999 until 2007, has pled guilty to evading currency-reporting requirements, a charge related to his alleged payment of millions in hush money to someone blackmailing him about "past misconduct." That misconduct, multiple news sources have reported, relates to sexual abuse of a student during Hastert's time as a high school gym teacher and wrestling coach.

"The evangelicals let me down a little bit this month. I don't know what I did" - Trump in Iowa

Ben Carson now holds a 14-point lead over Donald Trump in Iowa. Experts say Carson appeals to Iowa’s conservatives, Iowa’s evangelicals, and both of Iowa’s black people.- Conan O'Brien

Rock The Voter News

No shutdown, no default: Congress leaders, Obama back deal
Adviser to Sanders, Trailing Clinton by 23 Points, Generously Plans to Consider Her for VP
Greenland Is Melting Away (A MUST READ. INCREDIBLE VISUALS)

Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton, who turned 68. When asked what her favorite gift was, she said, "Donald Trump."- Jimmy Fallon

Good For Los Angeles!
Handgun owners in Los Angeles would have to keep their weapons locked in a box or disabled with a trigger lock under a measure aimed at protecting children...

I never thought I'd get to watch the slow-motion destruction by hubris of a Bush brother before he could do serious damage.- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

Ben Carson thinks guns can solve everything and has no idea what the debt limit is. He is the exact voter who would vote for Ben Carson.- LOLGOP

414% Interest Rates In Brazil!
The interest rates levied on credit cards in Brazil rose 10 percent in September compared to the previous month, reaching 414 percent a year, the Central Bank of Brazil (BCB) reported Tuesday.

In the past five years, at least six Americans have been shot by dogs

Researchers somewhere studied 75 brands of hot dogs and found some of them contained human DNA ... I guess my bologna really does have a first name.- Stephen Colbert