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Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) made many in his party happy Tuesday night when he told his colleagues that he had finally agreed to take the job no one wants and run for speaker of the House. But he said he will do so only if members agree to a list of conditions, most of which concern the functioning of the caucus. One demand, however, was deeply personal.
"I cannot and will not give up my family time," Ryan told reporters following the House GOP meeting.
Shorter Paul Ryan: I want great power with no responsibility. - John Fugelsang
The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam
- Syria's Assad bolstered with visit to ally in Moscow
- Russia considers providing $5 billion loan to Iran: ministry
- Four-fifths of Russia's Syria strikes don't target Islamic State: Reuters analysis
- Iran's supreme leader endorses nuclear deal
- Israel’s Netanyahu makes one of the most absurd claims about the Holocaust imaginable
- US warns of hate speech as Myanmar prepares for elections
- ‘We’re back': Justin Trudeau sets new course for Canada after Liberal Party triumph
1st Carson blames gun control for the Holocaust, now Netanyahu blames the Grand Mufti. Maybe Hitler wasn't so bad after all. He did like dogs. - Sue Stein Tweet
Bush & His Poodle
A bombshell White House memo has revealed for the first time details of the ‘deal in blood’ forged by Tony Blair and George Bush over the Iraq War.
The sensational leak shows that Blair had given an unqualified pledge to sign up to the conflict a year before the invasion started.
It flies in the face of the Prime Minister’s public claims at the time...
Republican Shenanigans
- Many 2016 candidates polling at 1 percent or below — but refuse to bow out
- Federal judge orders Fox News analyst Wayne Simmons to be jailed over CIA fraud charges
- Rubio uses ‘Back to the Future’ to mock Clinton and Biden in new Web ad
- Gun nuts call for boycott of haunted house that raises money for leukemia research because they’re jerks
- This drunk Texas Republican had to be restrained during fracas with ‘f*cking hack’ Tea Party prankster
- Bristol Palin: Raw Story bashed my mom’s pro-life hypocrisy — so please buy her book
- An historian explains why people like Ron Paul falsely believe slavery wasn’t the cause of the Civil War
I can't wait to see former Senator Ted Cruz begin his commercials for reverse mortgages. - John Fugelsang
Harry Reid Wants GOP To Foot Benghazi Bill
Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) took shots at the House Select Committee on Benghazi on Wednesday, a day before former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's appearance before the panel. ...Senate Democrats have sent a letter to the Republican National Committee (RNC) asking that it reimburse the American taxpayers for any money spent on the Benghazi committee.
Donald Trump is now saying that his immigration policies would have prevented 9/11. Trump is also claiming his hair would have kept the Titanic afloat.- Conan O'Brien
NSA “civil liberties officer” says agency is getting more transparent; true, but only because it used to not acknowledge its own existence. - Dan Froomkin
Rock The Voter News
- Joe Biden won't run for president
- Bernie Sanders's Highly Sensible Plan to Turn Post Offices Into Banks
- Poll: Over half back national marijuana legalization
So Marty McFly got to Biden in time then, right? :) - LOLGOP
Back To The Future
Shooter On The Run
Police in New Mexico are trying to identify the person responsible for a road rage incident that claimed the life of a 4-year-old girl Tuesday.
People who claim there's a voter fraud problem actually have a democracy problem. - John Fugelsang
Business/Tech News
- Oil at three-week low
- Toyota recalls 6.5 million vehicles for window switch defect
- McConnell moves to end debate on cyber bill
- Icahn: I want to see something done in Congress
Volkswagen may be forced to buy back all the cars that failed to properly pass their emissions tests. Volkswagen officials say that’s fine — because they plan to resell them as rock concert smoke machines.- Conan O'Brien
Donald Trump’s Blustery 1990 Campaign Against a Wall Street Analyst
Barron’s recounts an incident in which the presidential candidate attacked an unknown securities analyst who didn’t think the Taj Mahal was a good bet for his clients.
Every fish you catch and release goes home with an alien abduction story.- John Fugelsang
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Odd News
- ‘Back to the Future’ Writer: Biff Tannen Is Based on Donald Trump
- Star Wars Trailer (Re-)Awakens The Dark Side Of The Internet
- Texas is so crazy Norwegians are literally using ‘Texas’ as slang for ‘crazy’
- Internet troll impersonates evangelist Joel Osteen on his own Facebook page and the results are hilarious
- NY suburb founded by Nazi sympathizers sued for requiring homeowners have German ancestry
Time To Deflate Photo
Peace.
