The Bush Effect

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Trump has figured out Jeb Bush's greatest weakness as a candidate, and it's not his energy level
I don't know if Donald Trump will win the Republican nomination. But even if he doesn't, it's increasingly clear he's going to destroy Jeb Bush before he loses.





The debate over whether George W. Bush is to blame for 9/11 is very unfair to Jeb, who is fully capable of harming the country in his own way.- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Syria's Assad can stay only until transition council: Saudi
• Saudi urges Iran to stop 'meddling' in neighbourhood
• NATO nations to keep presence in Afghanistan, officials say
• Eritrean dies after Israeli guard shoots him, mob attacks
• UN attempt to decriminalise drugs foiled

If 9/11 happened on Obama's watch, Jeb! would not being saying he kept us safe.- Tina Dupuy




Israeli Misguided Anger
 The killing of an Eritrean man who was shot by a security guard and then beaten by an Israeli mob that mistook him for an Arab attacker has prompted soul-searching in Israel and raised concerns about racism and vigilantism amid a wave of Israeli-Palestinian violence.

Republican Shenanigans

• Trump hits back at Jeb Bush over 9/11: 'You're pathetic'
• Racist Signs Depict Maine Mayoral Candidate Ben Chin As Ho Chi Minh
• Rand Paul: Trump Nomination Would Be 'Disaster' For Party and Country 
• Conservatives claim momentum to oust House GOP incumbents
• Texas defunds Planned Parenthood clinics, but Louisiana ordered to pay

Politicians who brag they've accepted Jesus as their savior generally just accept Him as their mascot. - John Fugelsang

Guns Laws Upheld 
 A federal appeals court on Monday upheld the core provisions of two gun control laws passed in New York and Connecticut after the 2012 mass murder at Sandy Hook Elementary School that banned possession of semiautomatic assault weapons.




Schools should not be gun-free zones; only Republican presidential debates and NRA conventions should be gun-free.- Tea Party Cat

Whatever you think of her, Hillary Clinton is about to get the same rare opportunity her husband got 20 years ago: become more popular as a result of being investigated by total assholes.- Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

• Bernie Sanders' best weapon may be Larry David
• CIA shrugs off Clinton’s ‘classified’ email

Prediction: During Hillary's Benghazi testimony this week, Bernie Sanders will burst into the room and shout, "This is all bullshit! Leave her alone!" - Andy Borowitz

Impeach Hillary!
If Hillary Clinton wins the presidency, Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL) wants to impeach her on day one.
Brooks made the comment in a recent interview with conservative talk radio host Matt Murphy on WAPI...



Someone needs to make a Clinton impeachment movie just for the bit where we find out what happened to the characters. - LOLGOP

I'm impressed that donors have contributed $20 million to Ben Carson when that money could have paid for a high-quality tin-foil dome.- Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

• Oil down three percent; tumbling gasoline adds to China, Iran worries
• Discordant Financial Messages From China Spur Global Unease
• Amazon and New York Times battle publicly over story's accuracy
• That drone you want for Christmas will likely need to be registered

Jeb Bush is right when he says 'my brother kept us safe' when one considers that by 'us' he means 'big banks and their shills.'- John Fugelsang

Hacking War Continues...

Federal authorities are reviewing the possible hack of personal email accounts connected to CIA Director John Brennan and Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson.

Tom Brady just did an interview where he called Coca-Cola “poison for kids” and said he didn't think Frosted Flakes is actually food. That story again: Do NOT go trick-or-treating at Tom Brady's house! “Who wants some raisins and toothbrushes?!”- Jimmy Fallon

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Odd News

• Man Dies on Aer Lingus Flight After Biting Fellow Passenger
• Plane returns to Los Angeles after fight between passengers
• 2 shot during Old West gunfight re-enactment in Tombstone
• Going Once! WWII-Era 'Grizzly' Tank Sells for $155,000
• Maryland police officer accused of biting testicles has left department
• Guinness declares the longest baguette at 400 feet in Italy

Time To Deflate Photo

Peace.

DNC officer: Chairwoman's statements 'flat out not true'

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DNC officer: Chairwoman's statements 'flat out not true'
A vice chair of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) says the chairwoman, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (Fla.), did not consult others about the party's primary debate schedule, as she claims, and is questioning her leadership...“This is a chair of the Democratic Party wrongly stating that she consulted with all of the party officers. I was not consulted. I know that [Rep.] Tulsi Gabbard [D-Hawaii] was not consulted. And this is becoming about much more than debates.”




The fact that it isn't called the Bush Crash of 2008 is a testament to how much the right shapes our narratives.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• U.S. confirms Iran tested nuclear-capable ballistic missile
• 'Russian' drone downed by Turkey close to Syria border
• Palestinians torch Jewish shrine, new protests erupt
• Kerry, Israel's Netanyahu to meet in Germany next week
• Obama, Park say North Korea must show willing to get nuclear deal

Closed Door Benghazi Meeting? Closed door?
Hillary Clinton’s close aide Huma Abedin fielded questions from the House Select Committee on Benghazi today, sitting for several hours for a closed-door interview with members of Congress and panel investigators.



I like hearing calls for Huma Abedin's head from guys who didn't mind Reagan arming the Iranians after they helped kill Marines in Beirut.- John Fugelsang

I like hearing how we shouldn't believe the job numbers from people who believed the color coded terror alerts.- John Fugelsang




Pro-ISIS Hacker Caught 
Malaysian authorities have arrested a hacker accused of passing stolen information about U.S. service members to the terror group the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS).

Republican Shenanigans

• Jeb Bush Jr. to Rubio: "Dude, either drop out or do something"
• Graham on Ben Carson: 'I don’t think he has a clue'
• Elizabeth Banks Got the Cold Shoulder From the Bush Twins After Playing Laura in 'W.'
• Florida sheriff furious Obama took his military tank away: People will die because of this decision
• RNC Chair: "We're cooked as a party for quite a while as a party if we don't win in 2016

87% of Americans support expanded background checks for gun purchases which means only 13% of Americans love America.- John Fugelsang

Republican Chaos Continues
Pressure is building on Republicans to find a way to tackle the debt limit.
With the House still clueless about who its next Speaker will be, Congress has just 10 legislative days to tackle a topic at the center of some of the most pitched fiscal battles of the last several years.

Ben Carson has put his campaign on hold for 2 weeks for a book tour, in case you thought your contribution wasn't a complete waste of $.- John Fugelsang

Fox News Faker
A former cable news commentator was arrested on Thursday for allegedly fabricating a 27-year career with the CIA.
According to the Justice Department, 62-year-old Wayne Simmons used the false story to try and gain security clearances and government contracts, including a successful overseas posting to advise military personnel.




Rock The Voter News

• Majority say Clinton won debate
• Webb Complains Debate Was ‘Rigged’

Bernie Says No To Greedy CEO
Sen. Bernie Sanders's (I-Vt.) presidential campaign is rejecting a donation from much-maligned Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO Martin Shkreli, who has been under fire over drug prices.
Shkreli tried to donate $2,700, but the campaign said no thanks.

Joe Puts The Bide In Biden
A top adviser to Vice President Biden sent a letter to former staffers Thursday indicating his decision on 2016 will happen soon and laying out the themes of a possible presidential campaign

Business/Tech News

• Oil prices slide on US, China strains
• Russian Hackers of Dow Jones Said to Have Sought Trading Tips
• CNBC caves to Donald Trump, agrees to limit GOP debate to two hours 
• Costa Rica lawmakers visit Denver to get a “taste” of legalized Cannabis

New research shows that China has a bigger middle class than America, and more people in China are living what we would call the “American Dream.” That’s when you know things are bad - when even the American DREAM is made in China.- Jimmy Fallon



Climate Change Disease?
A mysterious disease has been sweeping through the sugar cane fields of Central America, with more than 20,000 laborers dying from it over the past decade. As of 2012, it had killed the husbands of more than 100 women of the 250 families living on one island in Nicaragua, giving rise to the grim nickname “Island of the Widows.”

According to the Bible Jesus is the leading cause of alcohol at parties.- John Fugelsang

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Odd News

• Giant 'Hole' in Sun Is 50 Earths Wide
• Man eerily leaves a rifle in Utah Capitol rotunda to protest gun violence 
• Koko the Gorilla Gently Plays With a Box of Kittens For Her Birthday
• American Airlines flight delayed in Texas by swarming bees
• City warns church after neighbor complains about choir noise

Time To Deflate Photo

The mystical Antelope Canyon in Arizona, USA. Stunning.

Peace.

The last Speaker of the House...

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Hastert attorney says former speaker intends to plead guilty
An attorney for Dennis Hastert told a federal judge Thursday that the former House speaker intends to plead guilty in a federal hush-money case linked to allegations of sexual misconduct from decades ago.



Know who else avoided military service in Vietnam? EVERY GODDAMNED REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE SERVED. - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• People are getting shot by toddlers on a weekly basis this year
• Officials: Obama to keep troops in Afghanistan beyond 2016
• U.N. says Iran meets deadline for investigation of atomic past
• Syrian army and Russian jets target rebel towns north of Homs

"As Commander in Chief, I will not allow Afghanistan to be used as safe haven for terrorists to attack our nation again." - President Barack Obama

The Immigrant Crisis In Europe
German Chancellor Angela Merkel stressed Turkey's "key role" in solving Europe's refugee crisis ahead of a weekend visit to Ankara, as her government tightened asylum rules on Thursday to stem an influx of new arrivals.




The question is: Who will hurt the GOP more? Trump by being racist and terrible. Or Bush by dragging George W. out of mothballs.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

• Republican: Benghazi probe 'designed to go after' Hillary
• Ariz. GOPer: Let's 'Take Guns Away From Blacks As They Are The Main Killers'
• Rand Says LGBT Discrimination Laws Not Necessary: Many Places 'Will Hire You'
• Bush's $4.8 Million Ad Blitz In N.H. Has Had No Effect On His Polling 
• Donald Trump Says He'll Stop Using Aerosmith Song, Has a 'Better One to Take Its Place'
• Huckabee agrees with pro-slavery radio host: Sell poor criminals as property instead of jailing them

Jeb Bush says #DemDebate candidates would figuratively be a 3rd Obama term; as opposed to, say, a literal 4th Bush term.- John Fugelsang

Trump Bullies Out In Force
During a Donald Trump campaign rally in Richmond, Virginia, on Wednesday, the real estate mogul's supporters got into a physical confrontation with protesters who joined the event to object to Trump's immigration policies.
At the event of nearly 5,000 people, about 20 protesters, some of whom were students at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU), began heckling Trump when he began talking about immigration,




The US has 5% of the world's population and 100% of the political parties that think Barbara Streisand and the Pope invented climate change.- LOLGOP

News: Hillary won the debate!

My friends: Bernie won the debate!

Trump: I won the debate!

Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!- OhNoSheTwitnt

Rock The Voter News

• The anti-Hillary Clinton ad that’s angering some family members of Benghazi victims
• Benghazi Committee to Interview Hillary Clinton Aide Huma Abedin

*steps out of the shadows of a underground parking lot in Washington DC*
[whispers] This Benghazi committee may not be about Benghazi...- LOLGOP

More Than 400 U.S. Cities Will Be Underwater No Matter What We Do
An alarming new study has found that, no matter what we do to fight climate change, it is already too late for more than 400 U.S. cities — including Miami and New Orleans — which will be overcome by rising sea levels caused by anthropogenic climate change. Under a worst-case scenario, New York could be unlivable by the year 2085. Most of the population in those cities live within five feet of the current high tide line.

Business/Tech News

• Gasoline weighs on US consumer prices, but inflation set to rise
• US Jobless Claims Match Four-Decade Low
• Budget talks may need billions for Medicare fix
• German authorities to order recall of 2.4 mn Volkswagen vehicles

Love it when people who believe in no minimum wage accuse others of wanting "free stuff."- LOLGOP

Whaaaat? Wall Street Bonuses Cut?
Oct 15 Wall Street bankers and traders are likely to get smaller bonuses this year as trading revenue plunges.
Goldman Sachs said on Thursday that it set aside 16 percent less money for compensation in the third quarter compared with the same period in 2014.




Playboy magazine is going to stop publishing nude photos of women starting next year. So now if you want to see a naked woman you'll have to go to HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, the Internet, Burning Man, a PETA protest, perfume ads, or ESPN The Magazine.- Seth Myers

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Odd News

• Pakistani pilgrims flock to crocodile shrine as Taliban threat recedes
• Military blows up World War II-era bomb found in Utah desert
• Union says Pennsylvania health department has mold, asbestos
• Paramedic in wedding dress works crash on way to reception
• This Cat Doesn't Give a Flip About Your Stupid Pet Door

Time To Deflate Photo

Sean Connery, Mr. Universe competition, 1953.
I never knew that Sean Connery was Mr. Universe before Mr. Bond!

Peace.