Impeach Obama!

These are the people who believe a Republican Congress will impeach President Obama
It's two months after National Impeach Obama week, and the president is still the president. It could be because two-thirds of the country are against impeachment, according to a July CNN poll. Or, if you're a member of a small but vocal group of activists, it could be simply because Republicans have to win the Senate first.



Yep, if the GOP wins the Senate and keeps the House, they'll impeach Obama and Biden, then we can all say hello to President John Boehner.



I don't want to disappoint a lot of angry voters out there, but even if Republicans gain control of the Senate, the President will still be black.- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Iraq says 322 tribe members killed, many bodies dumped in well
• Peshmerga, Syrian rebels battle Islamic State in besieged Kobani
• With kin under Islamic State attack, German Kurds get political
• Lack of stability in Gaza risks return to war, says U.N.
• Ukraine rebel leaders sworn in, Kiev says peace plan violated
• Russian troops moving towards Ukraine border: NATO's Stoltenberg
• US Navy SEALs told to stop spilling secrets

Nancy Pelosi Said Impeachment Was Off The Table When She Was Speaker Of The House
 Valerie Plame says former Vice President Dick Cheney is a traitor for allegedly having outed her in 2003 as an undercover CIA operative overseas.
It’s now been more than a decade since Plame found herself in the center of a political firestorm.




Happy Election Day - bought & paid for shills/science deniers/fake Christians take the Senate; comedians thank good people for not voting.- John Fugelsang

More Problems In Ferguson
A Florissant, Missouri woman says that police in Ferguson shot her in the head while she was leaving a rally supporting slain teen Michael Brown.

However, according to the Riverfront Times, the bullet that doctors removed from Mya Aaten-White’s head in August has vanished and police claim she was gunned down by unknown assailants in a drive-by shooting.



Republican Shenanigans

• GOP Governor Has A $5 Million Yacht ‘Named After A Sex Slave’ (VIDEO)
• Jon Stewart: GOP Message Is Vote For Us 'Or Get Beheaded' (VIDEO)
• Virginians clash over removal of Confederate flag: ‘Then you need to go back to Africa!’
• Prosecutor Claims Perry Threatening Grand Jury After Indictment
• Fox News host makes shockingly racist comment live on the air

EARLY EXIT POLLS: 0% of Republicans are scientists. - LOLGOP

Obama Orders Blacks To Be Violent
Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones asserted on Monday that President Barack Obama had inspired black men to commit violent acts throughout the country, and that they had given a “green light” to kidnap the girlfriend of one of his friends.




All those who vote for Republicans shall suffer difficulties with urination and high blood pressure. SMITE! - The Good God Above Tweet

No Voting Info For You, Georgians
Voters looking for their polling place information before work on Tuesday were out of luck in the state of Georgia. The state’s “My Voter Page” went offline sometime Tuesday morning and is still currently inoperable.



America has all the free dumb you can handle- The Good God Above Tweet

Rock The Voter News

• U.S. governors seeking re-election face dissatisfied voters
• Costly Florida governor's race a bitterly contested toss-up
• Angelina Jolie 'open' to pursuing life in politics: Vanity Fair

Thou shalt vote today or thou shalt be ruled by idiots forever.- The Good God Above Tweet

Game of Thrones now has 3 characters who are castrated eunuchs; a casting feat matched only by the modern Democratic Party.- John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

• Falling Oil Prices Make Fracking Less Lucrative
• Lower oil prices carry big geopolitical consequences
• Wider US trade deficit, weak exports point to slower growth
• Sprint Cuts 2000 Jobs As Customer Losses Mount
• Rolls-Royce to axe 2600 posts

NRA REMINDER: "Under Stand Your Ground you can legally shoot someone who you fear may vote differently than you. At least in Florida."- Top Conservative Cat

GOP Ruined By Tea Party Claims Republican
If the polls hold, 2014 should be a banner year for Republicans. But Jon Hunstman Sr., a self-described "lifelong Republican" and former special assistant to President Richard Nixon, is looking ahead with concern about the Grand Old Party's 2016 prospects.

"The Tea Party has completely captivated and ruined the Republican Party today and they'll show this in 2016," says Hunstman, author of Barefoot to Billionaire. "Unless a Jeb Bush comes in or John Huntsman Jr., the Republicans don't have a prayer."

Hard to believe the GOP would be silly enough to not raise the minimum wage before 2016. But not that hard.- LOLGOP

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Odd News

• Wolf Spotted In Grand Canyon For The First Time In 70 Years
• Dallas Zoo sells rights to name baby giraffe for $50,000
• Connecticut man charged with trying to eat his DWI results
• Company denies man lost job over Playgirl spread
• Latest Pointless Invention: Ice Tires

Time To Deflate Photo

This is the USA on the moon, where we might as well be if Republicans win today.

Peace.

Midterm election rides wave of anger at incumbents

Midterm election rides wave of anger at incumbents
The costliest midterm election in history draws to a bitter close with control of the Senate tilting toward Republicans even as governors, in red and blue states alike, face a well of anti-incumbent anger from New England to the Rocky Mountains.




Crazy idea here. How about laws that make it harder to shoot people and easier to vote? - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• ISIS Militants Kill Over 300 Members Of Defiant Iraqi Tribe
• Canada conducts first airstrikes on IS targets in Iraq
• Over 210 killed in fighting over Libya's Benghazi
• Jerusalem on edge in row over contested shrine
• US Navy cancels port calls amid Philippine anger over killing

News Outlets Can't Afford To Cover The News
Cash-strapped news outlets looking to cover President Obama's trip to Asia next month may find it difficult to do so. Not because the trip isn't newsworthy -- it is -- but because there are at least 60,000 dollar-shaped reasons not to.



Why does every election analysis ignore that Republicans have their own propaganda TV network that just spews lies all day and all night?- Dave Johnson Tweet

Republican Shenanigans

• Fox Host: We Need "An Older White Guy Appreciation Day"
• Reince Priebus: 'Very Disappointed' if GOP Doesn't Take Senate
• North Carolina voters report voting machines switching their votes to GOP candidate
• Evangelical college gay rights stand causes uproar
• Conservative Ben Stein Thinks Obama Is America’s ‘Most Racist President’ Ever (VIDEO)
• Nate Silver: 74% Chance Republicans Will Take Senate

Congress has an approval rating below 12% which is why the media keeps reminding you Obama's approval rating is only 42%.-John Fugelsang




GOP Says They'll Go To Work IF They Control Congress!
 Republicans said on Sunday they will break the legislative stalemate that has paralyzed Washington for the past several years if they win control of the Senate in the upcoming congressional elections. 

Rock The Voter News

• DNC Head Predicts Democrats Will Hold Senate
• Midterm Elections: On the ballot in 50 states

So How's Boehner's Lawsuit Against Obama Going?
House Speaker John Boehner’s still-unfiled lawsuit against President Barack Obama for exceeding his constitutional power is in more trouble.
For the second time in two months, a major law firm has ceased work on the lawsuit, sources say.

Computer security experts say that a video released by former CBS News reporter Sharyl Attkisson appears to show her computer "malfunction[ing]," likely due to a stuck backspace key, not being hacked by government agents as she had suggested.

Remember that voice on AOL that said "you've got mail"? Turns out it was the NSA. - Jokeblogger.com

I Forgot To Mention: A Volcano Blew Its Top Here In Costa Rica
Satellites belonging to the United States space agency, NASA, captured images of a “blanket” of sulfur dioxide over western Costa Rica a day after the Turrialba volcano began erupting last Wednesday.







If you make minimum wage or have a uterus, you should recuse yourself from voting tomorrow since you might be biased towards Democrats.- Top Conservative Cat

Ferguson Police Lied
The U.S. government agreed to a police request to restrict more than 37 square miles of airspace surrounding Ferguson, Missouri, for 12 days in August for safety, but audio recordings show that local authorities privately acknowledged the purpose was to keep away news helicopters during violent street protests over the shooting of an unarmed black teen by a white police officer.



You can refinance your car. You can refinance your home. So why can’t you refinance your student loans? - Sen. Al Franken Tweet

Business/Tech News

• The Economy Is Still The Biggest Issue For The Voters
• Virgin Galactic mishap likely pilot error as Richard Branson vows to forge ahead
• Oregon's Cheap Legal Weed Could Starve Washington's Market
• Why Taylor Swift's '1989' Could Be The Last Platinum Album Ever

85 people are worth more than half the people on earth but raising the minimum wage will hurt the economy. - LOLGOP

Ebola Scare In My Neck Of The Woods
Costa Rican health authorities were placed on alert over the weekend when authorities arrested 14 illegal immigrants from Somalia in Cañas, Guanacaste, at least one of which complained of Ebola-like symptoms.
Those exhibiting symptoms were taken to the Cañas Comprehensive Healthcare Center where tests confirmed that the symptoms were caused by the influenza virus, not Ebola.




Right now, Turkeys are being advised to get their affairs in order. - Jokeblogger.com

Instead of a napkin, I put a tortilla shell on my lap. Whatever falls I can eat. - Jokeblogger.com

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Odd News

• Ebola-carrying bats may be heroes as well as villains
• Study Suggests Milk May Actually Increase The Risk Of Bone Fracture
• Spanish shepherds guide 2,000 sheep across Madrid
• Michigan couple marries after losing 380 pounds
• Harrison Williams Regrets 'Surfing' Dead Whale, Admits He's An Idiot
• Elusive Fanged Deer Spotted For First Time In 66 Years

Time To Deflate Photo

The Northern lights in Norway being celebrated by a lone brave soul.

Peace.

Ebola update: Maine judge orders quarantine for nurse Kaci Hickox

Ebola update: Maine judge orders quarantine for nurse Kaci Hickox
A Maine judge has ordered a quarantine for nurse Kaci Hickox, who defied her Ebola quarantine in a tense standoff with state authorities.




Chances you get Ebola from a nurse: 0/300 million

Chances you'll die by gunshot: 1/10K

This has been today's Worry About the Right Shit- LOLGOP

BREAKING NEWS: Judge's rejection of nurse quarantine 'unfortunate': Maine governor



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Air strikes hit Kobani as Kurdish peshmerga prepare to enter
• Syrian air strikes kill over 200 civilians in 10 days: monitor
• Members of Congress demand to see Guantánamo detainee force-feeding videos
• Muslim men over 50 pray at Jerusalem's Aqsa mosque amid tight security
• Could gas deal signal Russia - Ukraine detente?

No Kumbaya Moment Reported 
Afghanistan's new president invited the Taliban to join in a peace process backed by the international community on Friday, in an unusual direct reference to the insurgents who have stepped up attacks aimed at bringing down his month-old government.



So we quarantine anyone who helps Ebola patients-- but only if they helped patients in Africa, where we really need them. Just good science.- LOLGOP

I don't want to ban flights from Ebola-stricken countries.  I have family in Texas. - John Fugelsang

No Costumes For You!
While Halloween's popularity outside the United States continues to grow, celebrating the event remains riskier in some places than others. And don't even think about trick-or-treating in Uzbekistan.









Republican Shenanigans

• Sarah Palin Promises to 'Bug the Crap' Out of Her 'Haters'
• Why Republicans Keep Telling Everyone They're Not Scientists
• Keith Ablow, Fox News Doctor, Calls For 'American Jihad'
• Jon Stewart Skewers The Koch Brothers

"I'm not a scientist."
-Republicans

"I'm not a Republican."
- Scientists

-LOLGOP

Policing the Police
Police in Albuquerque, New Mexico will undergo reform and be monitored for use of excessive force under an agreement to be announced Friday between the city and the U.S. Justice Department.

GOP Upset A Senator Put Some South In Their Mouth
Republicans trying to win a competitive Senate seat in Louisiana are professing outrage after Sen. Mary Landrieu, the Democratic incumbent, said race has hurt President Barack Obama in the South.




Rock The Voter News

• Obama fires back at Ebola policy critics: 'We can't hermetically seal ourselves off'
• Obama Seeks to Boost Women's Vote at Rhode Island Rally
• Sandy Activist Whom Christie Told To 'Shut Up' Says He's Not Backing Down

Iranians can vote but have no choices while Americans have choices but don't vote.- John Fugelsang

Teachers Are Angry At Time Magazine Art
Some teachers think that Time Magazine owes them an apology.
The magazine's latest cover story details the efforts of certain Silicon Valley investors to derail teacher tenure practices. Teachers unions, however, are taking particular issue with the story’s associated cover art, a gavel smashing an apple, and text that says, "It's nearly impossible to fire a bad teacher."

If you get a doughnut and a croissant together, it's called a cronut. The Hello Deli next door has its own hybrid called the Eboli. It's half Ebola, half E. coli. - David Letterman

Far Right Evangelicals Fighting Over Halloween
The Christian News Network reports that Kirk Cameron is coming under fire from other evangelical priests for his claim that Halloween is a holiday that Christians should take back from the pagans.



Business/Tech News

• U.S. Gasoline Average Below $3 for First Time Since 2010
• Exxon, Chevron shrug off effect of low oil prices
• Dignity Health to pay $37 million to settle overbilling claims
• Obama to Confer With Fed Chair Yellen on U.S. Economy

If you say you care about the Dow, the deficit, gas prices or inflation, you really have to invent magical reasons to hate Obama.- LOLGOP

Russia Drop Kicks Anheuser-Busch
Anheuser-Busch InBev (BUD), the world's largest beer company, reported earnings and sales that badly missed analysts' expectations on Friday.

Russia was one of the biggest drags on the company's profits. Sales in Russia fell 20%, contributing to a sharp decline in its European business, the Belgium-based brewer said.





Former major league player Jose Canseco accidentally shot his finger off while cleaning his gun. On the bright side, he's taken so much human growth hormone that the finger grew right back.- Craig Ferguson

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Thank you Ramesh!

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Odd News

• Drivers scramble for flying cash on Md. highway
• Groom Leaves Bride After Her Wedding Joke
• Man Suspended For Using Robot Voice With Customers
• 'Corpse Bride' Leads To Arrest Of 11 People
• Human Skulls, 'Books On Satan And Witchcraft' Found In Connecticut Dump

Time To Deflate Photo

Happy Halloween! Active regions on the sun resemble a jack-o'-lantern in this extreme ultraviolet image from NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory, captured on Oct. 8.

Peace.