All Hat No Cattle

Monday, September 29, 2014

Allen West Tells Military To Disobey Commander In Chief

Allen West Tells Military To Disobey Commander In Chief
Fox News contributor Allen West, who has previously called President Obama an "Islamist" with unclear "loyalties," is now calling on the military to ignore orders from its commander in chief.

Republicans are people. Just like corporations, and Soylent Green.

Today Russia announced that it will join America’s fight with the terror group ISIS. Then Putin said, "But I did not say which side." - Jimmy Fallon

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

FYI: America has a 200+ year history of people being denied the right to vote by people who said they were protecting democracy by doing so.- LOLGOP

New Afghan President Takes Office
Ashraf Ghani Ahmadzai was sworn in Monday as Afghanistan's new president, replacing Hamid Karzai in the country's first democratic transfer of power since the 2001 U.S.-led invasion toppled the Taliban.

Can you believe our evil gov't violating our online privacy? Wait - there’s new nude pics of Jennifer Lawrence? BRB, I gotta see this.- John Fugelsang

Our Great Crusader From 2003

The Department of Defense unveiled a new policy that will let undocumented immigrants serve in the military. Is it me, or does that just sound like a sneaky way to get rid of immigrants?- Jimmy Fallon

Republican Shenanigans

Lincoln may have freed the slaves, but he didn’t free the corporations; John Roberts did that. He really is the Great Emancipator.- Top Conservative Cat

Paul Ryan: It's disgusting some liberals are talking about dying at 75. Under my plan, that's right when you'd first enjoy retirement.- LOLGOP

Florida Republican Writes Tell All Book About Republicans
Anyone interested in political shenanigans, personal betrayals, campaign corruption and widespread scandal, all involving some of Florida's most prominent politicians, can find more than enough in the new nonfiction memoir "The Chairman: The Rise and Betrayal of Jim Greer."

Boehner needs to disclose the miracle back cure that transformed him from a 20 year old Vietnam war draft dodger with a "bad back" to a 65 year old who plays golf a hundred times a year. - Anon

Correction: Michele Bachmann didn't really say that but only because she didn't think of it.

NY Post Ridicules Baby. It's OK Because It's The Clinton's Granddaughter
The NY Post is Rupert Murdoch's signature right wing rag in New York and it often is as offensive as many of the pundits that appear on Fox News. Today's front page is no different as it openly attacks Chelsea Clinton's new born baby.

Hillary Clinton’s granddaughter never in her life did one thing to save the lives of the four Americans in Benghazi. Fact.- Top Conservative Cat

Rock The Voter News

Bad Suicide Attempt Shuts Down Two Chicago Airports

The nation's air travel system slowly began to recover Saturday after an alleged act of employee sabotage at a large regional air traffic control center brought Chicago's two international airports to a halt.

Lincoln may have freed the slaves, but he didn’t free the corporations; John Roberts did that. He really is the Great Emancipator.- Top Conservative Cat

Q: What's the difference between the Congress & the unemployed? A: The unemployed want to work.- John Fugelsang

FOX NEWS: ISIS IS COMING; BE PREPARED!

Fox News host Jeanine Pirro dedicated all of her Sunday show to the growing danger of ISIS, and how viewers should prepare to fight Islamic terrorism on U.S. soil.

It's already autumn. Can you feel the difference in the seasonal change? Let me give you one sure example that it's autumn today. President Obama got off of a helicopter, and saluted a Marine with a cup of hot cider.- David Letterman

FAA Awakens Following Bad Suicide Attempt
The Federal Aviation Administration is reviewing security practices and how it deals with unexpected incidents throughout its air traffic control facilities following last week's fire at a Chicago-area air traffic facility, agency administrator Michael Huerta said Monday.

Well, technically Mitt Romney won't be running in 2016; Bain Capital will run for president, and Romney will return as CEO.- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

Study: Internet trolls are also trolls in real life, but life conveniently doesn't have a comments section.- LOLGOP

Hong Kong Peaceful Protest. So Far.
Extending their protests into the workweek, Hong Kong democracy activists continued occupying major thoroughfares Monday, forcing the closure of some schools, banks and other businesses in the semi-autonomous Chinese territory. Due to the demonstrations, government officials said they would cancel a major annual fireworks celebration scheduled for Wednesday -- China’s equivalent of the Fourth of July.

Chris and Bruce Jenner are getting a divorce. If for any reason Bruce is ever arrested for any crime of any sort, being married to a Kardashian counts as time served.- David Letterman

"The federal prison population has dropped by almost 5,000 people. It's expected to go back up once the NFL season ends." –Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

I have no idea what kind of birds these are but I thought it was beautiful enough to share with you.

Peace.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Sean Hannity And Dana Perino: "Sponsored By" Fracking Companies

Sean Hannity And Dana Perino: "Sponsored By" Fracking Companies
Fox News hosts Sean Hannity and Dana Perino are giving speeches "sponsored by" major fracking companies while pushing for fracking on Fox.

The conservative commentators spoke at the Shale Insight 2014 conference on September 24-25. The two-day event was organized by the Marcellus Shale Coalition (MSC)...

FYI: The entire GOP agenda is to make climate change worse and get you to worry about salutes and suits while they pillage our safety net.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

"President Obama is facing criticism over an incident yesterday where he was holding a cup of coffee in his hand, and then used that same hand to salute a Marine. Though with all that's going on in the world, I'm surprised he didn't salute with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a cigarette in the other." –Jimmy Fallon

Just a few months ago, polls showed Americans were sick of war. They’d had enough. They were anxious to stay out of the Middle East. Then they saw two beheadings, and overnight, they were like, “Oh, war, we can’t stay mad at you.”- Bill Maher

Send Dr. Dennis Rodman To The Rescue!
Young North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is suffering from "discomfort", state media has said in the first official acknowledgement of ill health after a prolonged period out of the public eye.

GOP: How To Win The Hearts And Minds Of Women
“TELL the Misses not to wait up because the after dinner whiskey & cigars will be smooth and the issues to discuss are many,” read the invite to an all-male fundraiser in March for Steve Southerland, the Republican seeking re-election in Florida’s second congressional district. “Good men sitting around discussing & solving political & social problems over fine food & drink date back to the 12th Century with King Arthur’s Round Table.”

Republican Shenanigans

Ted Cruz: My dad was a refugee. But unlike the kids at the border, he was smart enough to be born a country the U.S. accepted refugees from. - LOLGOP

Rick Perry Versus Wendy Davis
There are new questions about how Gov. Rick Perry spent hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars after giving it to companies through the Texas Enterprise Fund...The audit, completed under legislation authored by State Sen. Wendy Davis, reveals some of the companies that received money from the Texas Enterprise Fund did not complete that application or produce proof they had created any new jobs.

"House Speaker John Boehner is facing criticism over a recent speech where he suggested that unemployed people are lazy. Boehner would clarify his statements, but he was on his second two-week break of the month." –Jimmy Fallon

GOP Can't Keep It Classy Bidding Adieu To Eric Holder
It's fair to say the GOP hasn't always seen eye to eye with Attorney General Eric Holder.

After the announcement today that Holder will resign from his position, some Republican lawmakers took to Twitter to offer their "heartfelt" farewells.

Eric Holder resigns; or as Rush Limbaugh puts it, 'black guy doesn't want to work.'- Top Conservative Cat

Republican Infighting Is A Good Thing
A top officer of the Broward Republican Party is taking on the co-founder of Tea Party Fort Lauderdale, publicly voicing sentiments that until now have been quietly muttered by many Republican Party insiders.

If you're praying for another Bush to run, maybe you should take a few elections off.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

"The White House posted a video that got people upset. The president saluted two Marines with a cup of coffee in his hand. It's not the first time Obama's done something like this. Remember that time he said The Pledge of Allegiance while holding a Hot Pocket? Or when he visited an aircraft carrier with a $5 footlong? The man never learns." –Jimmy Kimmel

Now that it’s been confirmed that the entire Palin family did, in fact, participate in a drunken brawl, Sarah Palin must admit that President Obama’s “Mom jeans” aren’t half as embarrassing as her “mom genes.”- Bill Maher

I Really Like This Pope
Pope Francis on Thursday sacked a Paraguayan bishop accused of protecting and promoting a priest described by his former church superiors in the United States as "a serious threat to young people."

The comments section of the Daily Beast could be the single greatest argument against a theory of human evolution.- John Fugelsang

NFL Caught Lying
A new report from the AP rocked the NFL Thursday when a source said the Ray Rice domestic abuse video was sent to Jeff Miller, the head of security of the NFL which contradicts their claims of never receiving the video.

"Today an Indian spacecraft reached the orbit of Mars. Not only did India succeed on their first attempt, they did it on a very modest budget — $74 million for the mission. Which happens to be, truly, $26 million less than it cost to make the movie 'Gravity.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

Business/Tech News

"Congratulations to India. They were able to keep the mission's costs down by outsourcing all of the work to themselves. And who knows, if it keeps going, in a few years, maybe we'll have the first call center on Mars." –Jimmy Kimmel

Foreign Exchange Traders Love Obama
President Obama’s handling of the economy may be reviled by his political opponents, but he is receiving support from a surprising quarter: foreign exchange traders.

But, you know what? Climate change doesn’t stand a chance because you can’t capture rising sea levels on a six-second Vine video. What we need to do is to get a polar bear to punch someone in an elevator.- Bill Maher

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Without dreams, there is no reality.

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Somewhere in Fiji.

Best wishes for a peaceful weekend.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Republicans' favorite label for Hillary Clinton 2016: 'Obama's Third Term'

Republicans' favorite label for Hillary Clinton 2016: 'Obama's Third Term'
Republicans who want to taint Hillary Clinton are going to lengths to link the former secretary of state with President Barack Obama and his sagging poll numbers.

Now that Eric Holder has resigned, Republicans will have nothing more to complain about and we'll enter a new era of cooperation in DC.- Top Conservative Cat

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

The Dick & Daughter Vaudeville Act
Former Vice President Dick Cheney and his daughter Liz Cheney appeared on Sean Hannity’s show on Fox on Wednesday to discuss the Islamic State, focusing their statements on criticizing President Barack Obama's handling of the jihadists whose brutal conquests in Iraq and Syria have prompted the U.S. and allies to launch airstrikes against.

NOW YOU SAY OBAMA WAS DRINKING TEA NOT A LATTE? NEXT YOU'LL SAY THAT SALUTING THE TROOPS IS SOMETHING REAGAN MADE UP.- LOLGOP

Fox Continues The War On Women
Maj. Mariam Al Mansouri flew through the glass ceiling when she became the first female pilot in the United Arab Emirates' Air Force. On Monday night, she was reportedly a team leader in the airstrikes against ISIS in Syria. But a segment celebrating her feat on Fox News Channel's "The Five" quickly devolved into sexist jokes.

Fox News hates Eric Holder because he was "divisive," which is like ESPN hating you because you "play sports." - LOLGOP

This guy hopped the fence, ran across the White House lawn, and almost got inside the White House. And the Republicans said, "Well, let's nominate this guy."- David Letterman

Republican Shenanigans

Anyone claiming to be in 'God's Army' is actually just in one of God's unauthorized fan clubs.- John Fugelsang

Pennsylvania May Lose GOP Governor? Good.
Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett is trailing his Democratic challenger by 20 percentage points in a poll released on Thursday, a slight improvement in the Republican's showing since August.

Many of the leaders and assistants to the leaders from around the world were in attendance at the U.N. Climate Summit. They say this was arguably the most high-profile, significant meeting that will in no way change anything whatsoever.- Jimmy Kimmel

Ferguson Police Finally Apologize For Leaving Michael's Brown's Body On The Street For Four Hours
Ferguson, Missouri, Police Chief Thomas Jackson apologized Thursday to the parents of Michael Brown, as well as to any peaceful protesters who feel he didn't do "enough to protect their constitutional right to protest."
Specifically, he apologized that it took investigating officers four hours to remove Brown's body from the street after Officer Darren Wilson fatally shot him last month.

"I am sorry it took so long to remove your dead son from the street" is not an apology that should have to wait a month and a half.- Will McAvoy

Unarmed Citizens Shooting Gallery

In an interview, Bill Clinton hinted that his daughter Chelsea’s baby is due in early October. Though it got weird when reporters asked if it's a boy or a girl, and Hillary said, "I haven't decided yet."- Jimmy Fallon

Rock The Voter News

Amazing: Pennsylvania AG Says Woman Caused Her Own Rape
The Pennsylvania attorney general’s office this week blamed a former prison employee for her own rape in 2013.

Earlier this year, 37-year-old inmate Omar Best was convicted of raping a 24-year-old typist at Rockview prison in Bellefonte. Surveillance video showed that the victim was choked unconscious and sexually assaulted for 27 minutes.

The GOP doesn't need a few ads that say Republicans are human. It needs to not have a 24/7 channel that makes it seem like they're not.- LOLGOP

Children Refugees AWOL
Tens of thousands of young families caught crossing the U.S. border illegally earlier this year subsequently failed to meet with federal immigration agents, as they were instructed, the Homeland Security Department has acknowledged privately.

Business/Tech News

The combined net worth of the Forbes 400 richest Americans rose to $1.37 trill in 2010. So give em a tax cut already.- John Fugelsang

Wind Power Proposal
A proposal to export twice as much Wyoming wind power to Los Angeles as the amount of electricity generated by the Hoover Dam includes an engineering feat even more massive than that famous structure: Four chambers, each approaching the size of the Empire State Building, would be carved from an underground salt deposit to hold huge volumes of compressed air.