All Hat No Cattle

Friday, September 12, 2014

Stretch Hummers. A bloody brawl. And Sarah Palin?

Stretch Hummers. A bloody brawl. And Sarah Palin?
This story has it all. Stretch Hummers. Booze. A right hook. And a former vice presidential candidate screaming, “Do you know who I am?”

Just another Saturday night in Anchorage with the Palins?

The Palins ask that you respect their privacy as they continue their meaningless attention-seeking. - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

If you don't support Netanyahu, you're an anti-Semite, according to Ted Cruz, who doesn't support Obama.- LOLGOP

Surgical Strikers
US combat aircraft will soon start flying out of a base in the Kurdish region of northern Iraq as part of a "more aggressive" air campaign against Islamic State jihadists, the Pentagon said Thursday.

If the ppl listening to FOX about ISIL hadn't listened to FOX about Iraq there wouldn't be an ISIL.- John Fugelsang

The New York Times had to issue a correction after an article referred to Dick Cheney as president of the United States. The Times apologized to Dick Cheney and changed his title to "former president of the United States."- Conan O'Brien

Republican Shenanigans

The question isn't if Ted Cruz is running for president. The question is if he'll ever stop.- LOLGOP

Will Tebowing Make A Comeback?
Breakfast time just became Tebow time.

Starting Monday, Tim Tebow, the former football star and current SEC Network analyst, will be on the top-rated ABC morning show Good Morning America. He’ll serve as a contributor and will help launch GMA‘s “Motivate Me Monday” series, which focuses on stories of triumph from people across the country.

John McCain assures America that he will not rest until your kids are somehow at war somewhere being shot at by somebody.- John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

Raven Football Fans Reaction To Domestic Violence
Music blared from the purple bus, and Baltimore Ravens fan Racquel Bailey stood with drink in hand amid her usual tailgate buddies while making a bold fashion statement: a black, rhinestone-decorated jersey with the white No. 27.

A Ray Rice jersey.

REMINDER: Conservatives don't blame the victim as much as they identify with the perpetrators.- LOLGOP

PREDICTION: On November 5, some GOP strategist will say, "I really thought our plan to make women pay more for birth control would work!"- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

GOP: These immigrants who want to pay taxes must go! But corporations who are sending their money abroad to avoid taxes, they can stay.- LOLGOP

Wind Power Versus Fossil Fuelers
As wind power surges, opposition grows
Wind-power developers are facing growing opposition in some states. A fight swirls around the efforts in Congress to extend the federal wind-power tax credit.

Mike Tyson and Rob Ford had a meeting. If you’d like to see a transcript of their conversation, just have your cat walk back and forth on your keyboard.- Seth Myers

I'm no fashion expert, Ms Ground Zero protestor, but your 'never forgive' sign clashes with that crucifix you're wearing.- John Fugelsang

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Flower fields in Hillside, Hokkaido, Japan.

Best wishes for a peaceful weekend.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

ISIS terrorists won't sneak into U.S. across loose Mexico border: Homeland Security officials

ISIS terrorists won't sneak into U.S. across loose Mexico border: Homeland Security officials
Despite social media chatter on Twitter, Obama administration officials are more concerned about passport-holding bloodthirsty ISIS jihadists entering the U.S. via airplane.

John McCain is now on QVC selling a broader Iraq War.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

It would be a fine time for Congress to debate war and take a vote. But there are food stamps to cut.- LOLGOP

Cruz Doesn't Know His Audience, Gets Booed
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) was booed off the stage at an event hosted by a Christian organization in Washington, D.C., on Wednesday night.

The conservative firebrand delivered the keynote address at an event hosted by In Defense of Christians, an organization that raises awareness of persecuted Christian and minority communities in the Middle East. But the audience turned hostile when Cruz said, "Christians have no greater ally than Israel."

Ted Cruz busily Googling, trying to figure out how to accuse Obama of giving ISIL "amnesty."- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

Bush 43 was known to be very punctual. Unfortunately that didn't do much for his presidency. - All Hat No Cattle

GOP Wants Boots On The Ground
The Republican chairman of the House Armed Services Committee on Thursday said U.S. ground troops will be required to meet President Obama’s objective of destroying Islamic State terrorists.

Rep. Buck McKeon (R-Calif.) said full military divisions won’t have to be sent to Iraq and Syria, but that it will require putting U.S. soldiers in harms way.

Mitt Romney is on Fox News again tonight. I think they may finally tell their viewers he lost.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

Obama leads White House in 9/11 moment of silence

9/11/01 terror attack = United We Stand.
9/11/12 terror attack = Blame Obama, and failing that, blame Hillary. - John Fugelsang

13 years ago today America was attacked by zero Iraqis & zero Afghans. - John Fugelsang

New Video Evidence In Michael Brown Shooting
A video taken shortly after the shooting of unarmed teenager Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo., on Aug. 9 shows an incredulous reaction by onlookers, who yell, 'He had his [expletive] hands up!' It's 'good evidence,' but not conclusive, legal experts say.

Now on FOX: Why Obama's doing the right thing, and why that's wrong anyway.- John Fugelsang

Democrat and Republican Stranded On Island
Today, Discovery announced a new miniseries in which two sitting US Senators — one a Democrat, one a Republican — get stranded on an island.

This is not The Onion. Really, it’s not The Onion. We swear 100% that this is true and not something we made up while drunk.

Business/Tech News

If the US was a Christian nation we'd vote to help the needy & sick and let private charity bail out Wall St.- John Fugelsang

Chris Christie Is Gonna Have Some Splaining To Do
New Jersey foreclosure starts in August increased 115 percent from a year ago to the highest level since January 2014, and scheduled foreclosure auctions increased 71 percent from a year ago to the highest level since July 2010. It gives New Jersey one foreclosure for every 553 homes compared to the national rate of one in every 1,126 and Pennsylvania’s rate of one in every 1,504.

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Solid Ice at Lake Baikal, Russia.

Peace

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Waste, fraud and abuse commonplace in Iraq reconstruction effort

Waste, fraud and abuse commonplace in Iraq reconstruction effort
After U.S. and allied warplanes destroyed a key bridge carrying 15 oil and gas pipelines in northern Iraq during the 2003 conflict there, officials in Washington and Baghdad made its postwar reconstruction a top priority. But instead of spending two months to rebuild the span over the Tigris River at an estimated cost of $5 million, they decided for security reasons to bury the pipelines beneath it, at an estimated cost more than five times greater.

Dick Cheney to meet with House Republicans today to coordinate how to blame Obama for the situation in Iraq.- Top Conservative Cat

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

I'd like to remind my Christian anti-alcohol friends - in the Bible, Jesus is the leading cause of drinking at parties.- John Fugelsang

Putin Flexing His Missiles
Russia carried out a successful test of its new Bulava intercontinental nuclear missile on Wednesday and will perform two more test launches in October and November, the head of its naval forces said.

After the House GOP heard from Dick Cheney on Iraq, Donald Trump gave them a few pointers on avoiding bankruptcy and protecting marriage.- LOLGOP

French Are On Board Against ISIS
French Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius said on Wednesday that France was prepared to take part in air strikes on Islamic extremists in Iraq “if necessary.”

Republican Shenanigans

If there were a person named "Enron," he would still be prominent in the GOP and called on to give speeches about business ethics.- LOLGOP

Ted Cruz Puts The Cray Cray In Crazy
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said “Saturday Night Live” creator Lorne Michaels could be thrown in jail if a Constitutional amendment on campaign finance is passed.

Fear of Frisbees?
A Texas man was charged with assault this week after he opened fire at a teen who was trying to retrieve a Frisbee disc that landed in his yard.

Obama lacks the bold leadership needed to attack ISIS by invading Venezuela. - JC Xtian

Prince William and his bride are expecting her second baby. That's pretty quick for Kate to have a second baby. It's almost as if producing an heir is her job.- Craig Ferguson

Rock The Voter News

Today Trump Entertainment Resorts declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Or as Donald Trump described Chapter 11, “back-to-back No. 1's.”- Conan O'Brien

Air Force Atheist Denied Re-Enlistment
The US Air Force has told a sergeant he will have to leave the military unless he agrees to take an oath with the phrase “so help me God,” officials said Tuesday.

In the latest religious controversy to roil the air force, the atheist airman last month was denied his request to re-enlist because of his refusal to swear to God — and he is now poised to take the military to court, his lawyer said.

Apple Watch? Ha! I'm waiting for GOP Watch, the only watch that goes backwards to the 1950s. -Top Conservative Cat

Statistics show domestic violence kills more people than wars, though we can change that if we start all the wars John McCain is asking for.- Top Conservative Cat

Don't Worry, It's All Good Under That Earthquake Prone Nuclear Power Plant
A top Nuclear Regulatory Commission official has rejected a federal expert's recommendation to shut down California's last operating nuclear power plant until it can determine whether its reactors can withstand powerful shaking from nearby earthquake faults.

Business/Tech News

I hear the Apple Watch can tell precisely how many seconds it's been since your last meaningful interaction with a real human!- Stephen Colbert

Apple Stock Bitten
Excitement and disappointment over Apple's new products sent its stock on a roller coaster ride Tuesday as investors reacted to a bevy of announcements...Apple's stock ended down just 0.4% after a volatile day during which the view on Wall Street

Apple announced the iPhone 6 today, which they say has a more durable screen that won't crack or scratch as easily. Or as your kids put it, “Challenge accepted!” -Jimmy Fallon