All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Darrell Issa’s record-breaking subpoena-palooza

Darrell Issa’s record-breaking subpoena-palooza
Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif) can't stop issuing subpoenas. Since becoming chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee in 2011, Issa has issued nearly 100 subpoenas – more than the last three committee chairman combined, according to Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md).

Gay marriage, immigration reform, medical cannabis, birth control & soccer are all more popular than Congress.- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

North Korea is negotiating to broadcast the Teletubbies. They have to make changes for North Korean TV. For starters, every episode will end with one of the Teletubbies being executed.- Craig Ferguson

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl Recaptured By Taliban After Wandering Off Texas Base. - The Onion tweet

CIA MIA
Germany’s dramatic decision to expel the top U.S. intelligence official in Berlin has put fresh strain on the frequently fraught relationship between American spies and the policymakers who rely on – and sometimes clash with – the nation’s cloak-and-dagger operatives.

BREAKING: Torture-rights activist Dick Cheney not detained anywhere, ever.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

68% of Republicans want to impeach Obama, which is about the same percentage who would have said that on January 21, 2009.- LOLGOP

Republicans Won't Appeal Gerrymandering Ruling?
Republicans who control Florida's Legislature said Tuesday that they will not appeal a landmark ruling that found that the state's map for congressional districts unconstitutional.

But Senate President Don Gaetz and House Speaker Will Weatherford said in a joint statement that they want to postpone drawing a new map until after the 2014 elections.

The GOP is moving up their 2016 convention so they can start on Hillary's impeachment earlier.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

I like when right wingers call for Obama's impeachment so that we might get the considerably more liberal President Biden.- John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

Big oil gets $7 billion in subsidies but contraception as part of a health care compensation package is 'free stuff.'- John Fugelsang

Rich Get Richer By Getting Caught Cheating: Hands Slapped
The truck-stop company owned by Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam and Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam has agreed to pay a $92 million penalty for cheating customers out of promised rebates and discounts, authorities announced Monday.

Tiger Woods is not playing in The Masters this year. Apparently he injured his back "swinging."- Craig Ferguson

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Meet me after the star.

Peace.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Top House Republican Admits That There Are No Grounds To Impeach President Obama

Top House Republican Admits That There Are No Grounds To Impeach President Obama
Republicans have been calling for this president to be impeached for things that George W. Bush did. Currently, some Republicans want to impeach Obama for Bush’s immigration policy. It never stops, but the Boehner lawsuit has thrown gasoline on the fire. Instead of calming the impeachment talk, House Republicans have made things exponentially worse with their lawsuit scheme.

AM radio taught me that Obama is both Neville Chamberlain AND Hitler. Which means his evil plan is to appease himself.- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

The problem with having your religion identified with a state is one day Benjamin Netanyahu could end up running it.- LOLGOP

John Kerry: Hero In Afghanistan
Secretary of State John Kerry was hailed as a hero in Afghanistan on Monday after he helped end a paralyzing presidential election impasse that had raised fears the country would once again tip into civil war.

California Republicans are trying to gerrymander a congressional district so it's just Jon Voight's house.- LOLGOP

Honduras Blames U.S. Drug Policy For Migration
Honduran President Juan Hernandez blamed U.S. drug policy for sparking violence in Central American countries and driving a surge of migration to the United States, according to an interview published on Monday.

Republican Shenanigans

GOP: Religious freedom is so important that no woman should ever let her needs get in the way of her boss enjoying it.- LOLGOP

Attorney General Addresses Sarah Palin and Her Impeachment Obsession
Attorney General Eric Holder slammed former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin Sunday over her call for President Obama to be impeached.

“She wasn't a particularly good vice presidential candidate,” Holder said on ABC’s ‘This Week. “She’s an even worse judge of who ought to be impeached and why.”

It’s been one year since George Zimmerman was acquitted, and since then he has kept Florida safe from Skittles-related crime.- Top Conservative Cat

Rock The Voter News

Wichita residents sick of 1,800 people being arrested over pot every year, want fines instead

In Case You Don't Have Enough To Worry About
Just as we all die, all species eventually go extinct. However, the rate of extinction varies dramatically, and a new estimate suggests we are currently running at 1000 times the normal rate. This rate of extinction is only seen in the fossil record after incredibly dramatic and unusual occurrences, such as huge asteroid strikes or supervolcano eruptions.

83 Americans die each day of gun violence.
0 die of gay marriage, voting without an ID or access to birth control.- LOLGOP

The Republican National Convention is going to be held in 2016 in Cleveland. They outbid New York City. Cleveland beat New York City. And I'm thinking to myself: Wait a minute, this is not right. Hookers and bribes don't work anymore? What is the problem?- David Letterman

Business/Tech News

Where A $7 Billion Fine Makes Your Shares Go Up 4%
This morning the bank confirmed the widely-reported news that it had agreed to pay $7 billion to settle an investigation by the US government into the bank’s sale of mortgage-backed securities.

Obamacare pays for itself and doesn't invade a Middle Eastern country. No wonder Republicans hate it.- LOLGOP

According to a new report, there is a shrine in Japan solely dedicated to hemorrhoids. Seating is limited, but usually available.- Seth Myers

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Toronto, Canada street art.

Peace.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Bundy ranch standoff previews conflicts to come as militia growth explodes, report warns

Bundy ranch standoff previews conflicts to come as militia growth explodes, report warns
The standoff between federal agents and armed supporters of a Nevada rancher was a coordinated effort by far-right militia members, according to a new report by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

According to a new study, the largest producer of oil is now the United States. So you know what that means — any day now we'll be invading ourselves. - David Letterman

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Border Militia Falls Apart
Efforts to secure the U.S.-Mexico border with armed militia groups appear to have fizzled as questions arise about their self-proclaimed “commander.”

Operation Secure Our Border, which was organized by “Commander” Chris “Threepercenter” Davis, claimed Tuesday on its website that there were three “troops on the ground” along the Arizona border and “four credible operations on the ground” on the Texas border, reported the San Antonio Express-News.

Rick Perry thinks prayer can protect us from drought, fires and illness but only billions in armed guards can save us from child refugees.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

Fox and Friends seek instruction on how same-sex marriage works, Steve Doocy ends up pregnant.- LOLGOP

Suing The President
House Republicans took the initial step on Thursday to sue President Barack Obama over the administration's decision to delay the employer mandate of the health care law.

Imagine if we spent the last decade trying to export solar and wind energy instead of propped-up democracies.- LOLGOP

Flori-duh Gerrymandering Declared Insane
Florida’s congressional districts are some of the most GOP-friendly in the country. Although President Obama won a narrow victory over Mitt Romney in Florida during the 2012 presidential election, Republicans control 17 of the state’s 27 congressional districts. That means that, even though Obama won a majority of the votes cast by Floridians in 2012, Romney’s Republican Party controls nearly two-thirds of Florida’s U.S. House delegation.
On Thursday, a Florida trial court held that the congressional maps that produced this lopsided result violate the state’s constitution.

Rock The Voter News

When A Little Bit Of Knowledge Is Dangerous
Adding to unfounded worries that immigrant children attempting to enter the U.S. are reintroducing a panoply of diseases such as Ebola and dengue fever, conservatives grew more agitated yesterday after “American security contractors” found what they believed to be a “Muslim prayer rug” abandoned near the Arizona border.

According to Adam Weinstein at Gawker, the “rug” is actually a diamond-patterned Adidas soccer jersey.

"House Speaker John Boehner is threatening to sue President Obama for using executive actions to create laws, instead of going through Congress first. Then Obama shrugged and made a new law that you can't sue the president." –Jimmy Fallon

Business/Tech News

The people who told us Obamacare will fail want you to know the Bush tax cuts will start working any day now.- LOLGOP

Bush Tax Cuts Cost 6.6 Trillion
The U.S. economy has recovered the 8.7 million jobs lost during the Great Recession and its unemployment rate is now the lowest it's been in almost six years. But David Cay Johnston, a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter, author and visiting lecturer at Syracuse University's law school and business school, says the economy would be a lot stronger if not for the Bush tax cuts.

Americans have lost $6.6 trillion from 2001, when the tax cuts first took effect, through 2012, according to Johnston. That's more than one-third of the country's annual GDP

"According to a new report from BP, the earth will run out of oil in 53 years. Luckily, thanks to BP, the ocean will still have plenty." –Seth Meyers

"There was a huge blowout at the World Cup when Germany beat Brazil 7-1 in the semifinals. It got so bad that the refs told Brazil, 'You know what? Go ahead and use your hands.'" –Jimmy Fallon

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Best wishes for a beautiful and peaceful weekend.