According to former Trump White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, the power of Christ compels you… to help him win ABC’s Dancing with the Stars.
On Monday night, Spicer made his debut on the hoofing-with-has-beens competition show, scoring an apparently unimpressive 4 from the judges for his Spice Girls-fueled routine during which he skillfully managed not to defend Hitler.
Now when the White House hires a press secretary they have to ask, “Can you dance?” - Conan O'Brien
It's official, Republicans don't have rhythm.
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- Iran's supreme leader rules out talks with US at all levels
- Tulsi Gabbard Rips Trump on Iran Threats: Acting Like ‘Saudi Arabia’s B*tch is Not America First’
- Ilhan Omar: Trump admin can't be trusted on Iran if it ' lies about weather maps or crowd sizes'
- Trump claims Mattis asked for a military operation to be delayed due to an 'ammo shortage'
- Blast kills 24 at Afghan election rally north of Kabul
- Some military stays at Trump Scottish resort stretch over multiple nights: report
- Pentagon puts brakes on 3 border barrier projects because of cost
- A teen allegedly wanted to "shoot 400 people for fun." Cops found an AK-47 in her bedroom.
- Abortion clinics report rise in violence following restrictive legislation
I have to admit that I did not have "Mattis said we're low on bullets" on my Donald Trump Batsh*ttery Bingo card. - Jeff Tiedrich
The U.S. military court and prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, have cost more than $6 billion to operate since opening nearly 18 years ago and still churn through more than $380 million a year despite housing only 40 prisoners today.
Included in that amount are taxpayer-funded charter planes often flying just a few passengers to and from the island; hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of government electronic devices intentionally destroyed each year due to spills of classified information; some Pentagon-funded defense attorneys billing about half-a-million dollars a year; and total legal costs of nearly $60 million annually even though Guantánamo has had only one finalized conviction.
America now has a POTUS who says:
-Windmills cause cancer
-Video games cause mass shootings
-Vaccines cause autism
-Obama caused the annexation of Crimea
-energy efficient light bulbs cause his discoloration
And America has all this bc slaveowners caused an electoral college. - John Fugelsang
Republican Shenanigans
- Trump says prominent Latino supporter "looks more like a WASP than" he does at rally
- Trump spurns Dems on universal background checks
- Trump campaign cuts ties with top adviser in Florida
- Judge Napolitano says Brett Kavanaugh 'may actually have a case' for suing New York Times
- Lewandowski readies Trump defense at 'impeachment hearing'
- Ana Navarro says Donald Trump has "Obama derangement syndrome"
- Prosecutors want 15-year sentence for Manafort’s former son-in-law
- House Oversight probing whether Chao improperly helped her family's company
- Trump’s California fundraisers are drenched in cash — and secrecy
It's a good thing that Brett Kavanaugh was just a blackout-drunk white frat boy sexually assaulting his way through prep school and college and then lying to Congress about it, and not, say, a black man selling loose cigarettes, because there are serious consequences for that. - Jeff Tiedrich
Trump's Scottish Resort Is Giving Out "Pride Pins" To The Air Force VIP
Air Force officers who have earned medals for their tours of combat theaters can pick up some more brass with a short pitstop in Southwest Scotland.
As part of its relationship with the Air Force, President Donald Trump’s Turnberry resort occasionally gifts high-ranking officers a version of its “Pride Pin,” a lapel pin featuring the property’s iconic lighthouse — an honor reserved for VIPs — upon their arrival, according a resort staffer familiar with the practice.
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Kavanaugh Denies New Sexual Misconduct Claim During Emotional, Pants-Less Press Conference. - The Onion
Rock The Voter News
- ‘Get real’: Senior Democrats shut down Kavanaugh impeachment push
- Sanders supporters cry foul over Working Families endorsement of Warren
- California poll: Biden, Sanders lead Democratic field; Harris takes fifth
House Democrats Vow To Hold President Accountable With Agriculture Bill Where First Letter Of Every Line Spells Out ‘Impeach Trump’ - The Onion
Trump Doesn't Have an Emmy
Colin Kaepernick‘s headline-making Nike commercial, “Dream Crazy,” has taken home an Emmy.
The 2-minute ad — which was first released in September of last year and was part of the company’s 30th anniversary “Just Do It” campaign — received the award for outstanding commercial at the Creative Arts Emmys on Sunday night.
John Bolton Asked To Leave Condo Board Meeting After Repeatedly Advocating Bombing Isaacsons. - The Onion
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Business/Tech News
- Pence says it's 'vital' for Congress to pass US-Mexico-Canada trade deal
- Times’ handling of Kavanaugh story draws widespread criticism
- Kavanaugh book co-author admits to writing 'misworded' NY Times tweet
- Donald Trump Pushes for Investigation Into Barack Obama's 'Ridiculous' Netflix Deal, Book Deal
OBAMA NETFLIX OBAMA NETFLIX! shouts Trump, as he runs through the West Wing with a soup pot on his head and falls down a flight of stairs with his pants around his ankles. - Jeff Tiedrich
Mitch McConnell: The Man Who Sold America
After 40 years of scorched-earth politics and bowing to special interests, will Mitch McConnell finally pay the price?
Transportation secretary & wife of #MoscowMitch is being investigated for ethics violations. I always wondered what attracted him to her, now I know! - Bette Midler
Queen Trains Corgis To Attack Boris Johnson If He Ever Comes To Palace Again - Andy Borowitz
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I made myself a shirt that says fuck trump in Wakanda mondern lettering, wore it during 2 comic cons now, only got two people who could read it. But my friends know what it says, and I wear it all the time, and have made some for others. After all, you know Trumpnazis aren't going to have seen Black Panther.
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