All Hat No Cattle: House Republicans look to draft Benghazi-obsessed congressman as new majority leader

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House Republicans look to draft Benghazi-obsessed congressman as new majority leader
The US congressman who is leading the public inquiry against Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server could continue his rambunctious rise to Washington power, if a drafting effort by the Republican far right succeeds in the wake of John Boehner’s shock resignation.

According to The Washington Post, when Clinton ran for president in 2008, she was 5'5" according to a height report from the Clinton campaign. But now, news sources say Hillary Clinton is 5'7" tall.If Hillary continues to grow, think how big she'll be when she finally reaches the Oval Office. We won't have to worry about Iran because mega-Hillary can swat missiles out of the sky!- Stephen Colbert

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

If America had to choose between the Republican Party and Planned Parenthood, It would be nice to not have a Republican Party.- LOLGOP

Martial Law Declared In The House
For the second time in a month, the House on Tuesday invoked "martial law" to allow more expeditious consideration of a stopgap spending bill to avoid a government shutdown this week.

Republican Shenanigans

Actual train wrecks take all the fun out of watching George Zimmerman's life.- John Fugelsang

The Womb Wars
The radical anti-abortion group Operation Rescue steered the Republican congressional majority toward a government shutdown after driving a related group’s attacks on Planned Parenthood.
GOP lawmakers threatened to hold the government hostage as leverage to cut federal funding to Planned Parenthood after a series of misleading videos were released this summer by the anti-abortion group Center for Medical Progress (CMP), which a new report shows is essentially indistinguishable from the controversial group.

The Republican Party. What happens when guys who don't believe in sex education try to legislate women's health.- LOLGOP

Hold Off On That Cuba Trip You Were Planning Until The GOP OKs It!
Cuban leader Raul Castro again told President Obama that full normalized relations cannot be resumed until the United States lifts the economic embargo on his country and abandons its naval base at Guantanamo Bay, officials said Tuesday.

Rock The Voter News

I'll sign on for results-based pay for teachers the day Congress gets the same deal.- John Fugelsang

Jeb Bush said last week that Democrats often win the black vote because they tell people “we’ll take care of you with free stuff.” Whereas Democrats actually win the black vote because Republicans keep saying stuff like that.- Seth Myers

That awkward moment when liberals cheer that John Boehner quit and then every single person who could replace him is crazy, stupid, or both.- Tea Party Cat

Business/Tech News

The Bush tax cuts on the rich created no jobs and led to deficit & wealth inequality crisises.
GOP candidates: They just weren't big enough. - LOLGOP

All New One Armed Bandits With Dazzling Visuals To Empty Your Pockets!
Move aside one-armed bandits. The casino floor is making room for game zones with oversized popping dice, digital spinning Big Six wheels and virtual roulette, with an eye on adding arcade-style video games in the not-so-distant future...game-makers and casinos are keen on coming up with the next big thing to keep people playing.

Next month Delta will begin opening company spas at certain airports so that employees can get a massage. And if passengers want a massage, they can just leave their keys in their pockets when they go through security.- Jimmy Fallon

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The Reason I Have Been Posting So Late
Yep, my laptop is dying a slow death. It's the motherboard according to the tech. Head in hands. I am still using it when it works and the rest of the time I am using the backup tablet, which isn't as powerful as a laptop.

So, dear readers, I need a new laptop, please help if you can. If you can't, just high five me for the good vibrations!