All Hat No Cattle: Conservatives Keep Pouring Fuel On The Texas Takeover Fire

Conservatives Keep Pouring Fuel On The Texas Takeover Fire
The Pentagon has no plans to stage a military takeover of the Lone Star state. There are no tunnels covertly being constructed under West Texas' shuttered Wal-Mart stores.
So why are the fringes of the Internet still abuzz with rumors that the U.S. military is on the cusp of imposing martial law in "hostile" Texas under the guise of a training exercise dubbed "Jade Helm 15"?

I hope Jade Helm 15 is actually a secret military plan to build six dozen abortion clinics in Texas.- Jessie Berney Tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

God told Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz, Ben Carson and Jeb Bush to run for President b/c God loves us and wants us to laugh.- John Fugelsang

Uh, Oh, The Right Wing Won't Like This
A nuclear agreement will allow Iran to become the number one energy player in the Middle East and herald major opportunities for foreign companies, top Iranian officials said Wednesday

No matter how bad life may seem, just remind yourself: if Republicans had their way this would be year 7 of a McCain-Palin administration. - The Daily Edge

Republican Shenanigans

Mike Huckabee blamed contraception for Newtown. Some might blame lack of access to contraception for Mike Huckabee.- John Fugelsang

West Virginia Senator Mocks Texas GOP
Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) said during an interview on Wednesday's "Morning Joe" that West Virginia, unlike Texas, would welcome military training exercises that have led to widespread conspiracy theories in several western states.
"Let me just say this. I want to make news right now," Manchin said. "I don't know what's going on in Texas. I don't know the paranoia that goes on in Texas, but the people in West Virginia welcome, welcome the special forces exercises. Please come to West Virginia. We'll welcome you with open arms. We're not afraid of you. We embrace you, we want you to be part of us."

Shorter Carly Fiorina: I'm 2016's Michele Bachmann!- Tina Dupuy

Rock The Voter News

Colorado Governor Won't Comment on Jade Helm 15 Probably Because He Is Laughing Too Hard
Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper's (D) office told TPM on Wednesday that he was not commenting on a military training exercise set to take place in his state that has spawned multiple fringe conspiracy theories.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Plan Plagued by Website Glitches.- Andy Borowitz

Ben Carson - because getting non-millionaires to vote for policies that only help millionaires isn't brain surgery.- John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

If Carly Fiorina can do for American voters what she did for HP jobs then we'll all get to move to India.- JohnFugelsang

North Carolina Water Poisoning
North Carolina officials are warning more residents living near Duke Energy's coal ash pits that it's not safe to drink or cook with their well water after tests showed contamination levels that is raising health concerns.

I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put it, “Thanks, Bo Obama.”- Jimmy Fallon