On Thursday, Donald Trump replaced a man who built the case for war with North Korea as a last resort with a man who just made the case for war with North Korea as more of a first resort. Trump announced that National-Security Adviser H.R. McMaster will be succeeded by John Bolton, the George W. Bush-era United Nations ambassador who has advocated for U.S. military action to prevent Saddam Hussein, Ayatollah Khamenei, and most recently Kim Jong Un from amassing weapons of mass destruction.
Happy Friday, everyone! - Rex Huppke
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- More than 26,000 children and teens have been killed in gun violence since 1999
- US destroyer sails close to contested island in South China Sea
- Record number of US Marines to train in Australia in symbolic challenge to China
- Suspect, 3 victims reportedly killed in France "terror attack"
- Uproar over Sacramento police shooting spills onto I-5, steps of Golden 1 Center
- Kings owner tells crowd after Sacramento protests: 'We are all united in our commitment'
- US sells 6700 missiles to Saudi Arabia as part of $1 billion deal
- Trump pick Bolton a ‘friend’ of Israel, reviled by Palestinians
Kim Jong Un Sets Meeting with Trump for April First - Andy Borowitz
Trump Won't Tweet About This!
The hacker Guccifer 2.0, who claimed responsibility for providing WikiLeaks with the stolen Democratic National Committee emails, has been identified as an officer of Russia’s main intelligence directorate, or GRU, according to a new report.
In Show of Loyalty, Bolton Offers Mustache to Cover Trump’s Bald Spot- Andy Borowitz
- Karen McDougal to Melania: I'm sorry for sleeping with Donald Trump
- Jared Kushner is now involved in 3 separate investigations for alleged illegal activity
- McMaster firing upends plan to oust other top Trump officials
- Conway: 'Get with the program or get out'
- Arnold Schwarzenegger says Republican donors should 'starve' the party until it shapes up
- ‘Can I sign up with Mueller?’ Ann Coulter melts down over Trump’s empty veto threat
- Woman admits she was paid to make fake conspiracy videos about Parkland sheriff
- NRATV taunts Parkland students over their dead classmates
- Senate GOP chairman calls on Zuckerberg to testify
Data Mining With Duck Dynasty! Thanks Facebook!
Leaked document reveals how Cambridge Analytica used Duck Dynasty and Politico to sway Facebook users to Trump.A former employee shared a 27-page internal document produced by officials who worked most closely on President Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, and it serves as a blueprint for the strategy Cambridge Analytica used on a variety of social media platforms .
“Mueller said I was the most innocent person he’d ever come across, and maybe in history,” Trump said. - Andy Borowitz
Our Children Are Now Acting Like The Adults Should. I Love These Kids.
They can’t buy a beer or rent a car and most aren’t even old enough to vote, yet the students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School have spearheaded what could become one of the largest marches in history with nearly 1 million people expected in Washington and more than 800 sister marches from California to Japan.
A few kids from Florida have put together a march for millions of people across the world this weekend.
My son left the house this morning with his shoes on the wrong feet. - Andy Lassner
We are the only civilized country that allows citizens easy access to military grade weapons.
This is why we lead the world in mass shootings.
It isn't rocket science, it is common sense.
Rock The Voter News
- Barack Obama gets a traditional nose-rubbing welcome in New Zealand
- Hoax claims that Barack Obama broke the law to reclaim the presidency from Donald Trump
- Seth Meyers on Biden and Trump's trash talk, aka the 'Thrilla in Vanilla'
- Dems ask FTC to probe if other companies also obtained Facebook data
I hope every editor who had the opportunity to kill yet another Hillary's Emails story, and decided instead to print it, looks at themselves in the mirror tonight and understands the role they played in igniting John Bolton's wars. - Ian Millhiser
This is worth a repeat of the New York Times' assault on Hillary
Trump Wants A Line-Item Veto!
President Trump on Friday asked Congress to provide him with a line-item veto on spending bills, as he signed a $1.3 trillion omnibus spending package that includes provisions he doesn't like.
7 mos after Sandusky arrested for molesting 30 boys the NCAA fined Penn State 60 million & imposed massive penalties. It’s been 19 months since Nassar’s arrest for molesting 100’s of girls. NCAA has taken 0 action against Michigan State. That’s misogyny and it’s wrong.- John Manly
- Dow plunges 724 points as trade war fears rock Wall Street
- Craigslist Is Shutting Down Its Personals Section
- Apple Tries to Win Back Students and Teachers With Low-Cost iPad
- Bumped United passenger walks away with $10000 voucher
- 3D-printed homes turn sludge into shelter
Trump Supporters Excited to Pay More for Chinese Goods at Walmart - Andy Borowitz
EU Nations to Take More Action Against Russia Over Spy
Several European Union countries say they may follow Britain in expelling Russian diplomats over the poisoning of a former spy, as EU chief Donald Tusk predicted member states would take more measures against Moscow starting next week.
She died as she lived: entering her 357th password guess into an online form. - Kashana