All Hat No Cattle: Fracking Associated With Smaller Babies

Fracking Associated With Smaller Babies
The scientists used data on 15,451 live births in southwest Pennsylvania from 2007 to 2010. They categorized the mothers by how close they lived to gas wells and the concentration of wells in the area

How do we get the Pope in GOP debates?- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

30,000 gun deaths each year:
ENFORCE CURRENT LAWS!

31 cases of voter fraud since 2000:
GRANDMA NEEDS A NEW ID! - LOLGOP

China And The U.S. To Meet
One of China's top military officers left for an official visit to the United States on Monday, the Defense Ministry said, amid tension between the two countries over the South China Sea and cybersecurity.

Scott Walker said that he'd be open to re-invading Iraq. I'd be open to that, too, if we'd just be sending him.- Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

It's OK When Republicans Do It! But Not The Clintons!
President George W. Bush took a lot of flak for his way with words during his time in office, but after stepping down he has reportedly spun his words into gold.

Bush has been paid for at least 200 speeches, "typically pocketing $100,000 to $175,000 per appearance," according to Politico in a post published on Sunday. The former President has reportedly soaked up millions of dollars.

"I'm surprised you don't see more homeless guys roasting pigeons on a stick." - 1 well-dressed NYC white guy to another, as I pass by. - John Fugelsang

The unemployment rate is now 5.5%, but the real number is actually much higher if you hate Obama.-Andy Borowitz

Police Exhibit Decorator Skills
A Colorado man accused police in Greenwood Village of being “paramilitary thugs” after they blew up his home while trying to catch a gun-toting shoplifter who had decided to hide out there.

George W. Bush Got 100K To Speak At Homeless Shelter Fundraiser
With the mega-speeches of Bill and Hillary Clinton riling up so many headlines, Politico’s Michael Kruse decided to investigate how Clinton’s successor was doing on what Gerald Ford called the “mashed potato circuit.” The answer: pretty damn well, though exact figures proved suspiciously difficult to track down.

Rock The Voter News

It'll be awkward for the Rapture folk when Jesus comes back & he's a homeless brown-skinned liberal who speaks no English. - John Fugelsang

Cop Attacks 14 Year Old Girl In Bikini
A Dallas-area policeman has been placed on administrative leave after a video surfaced in social media that showed him throwing a bathing-suit clad girl to the ground and drawing a gun on another at a pool party disturbance, officials said on Sunday.

Conservatives seem not trust the government except when it comes to black people at a pool party.- LOLGOP

My husband: Why didn't someone tell Chris Christie not to wear that?! Me: Because they're all under indictment.- Tina Dupuy

Business/Tech News

Former Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee announced his run for president yesterday. And he said he wants the U.S. to switch to the metric system. OK, you know what? I will start — Lincoln Chafee won't get within a kilometer of the White House. He's several hectares away.- Seth Myers

Why Doesn't The U.S. Government Have The Latest In Computer Technology?
Responding to a recent cyber attack on U.S. government computers, President Barack Obama said on Monday the United States has old computer systems with "significant vulnerabilities" to cyber attacks and needs to be "much more aggressive" in stepping up defenses against hackers.

We never had any bad weather before gays could marry.- Tina Dupuy