All Hat No Cattle: The Missing Pages of the 9/11 Report

The Missing Pages of the 9/11 Report
The lead author of the Senate’s report on 9/11 says it’s time to reveal what’s in the 28 pages that were redacted from it, which he says will embarrass the Saudis...“It’s rather bizarre that we would go to these great lengths to air this heretofore confidential information about how we reacted to 9/11, and at the same time we keep secret information about protecting those who helped launch the attack.”

A Saudi Arabian prince has said that oil may never again rise above $100 a barrel. He said it's gotten so bad he can't afford to buy his wife her own car that she's not allowed to drive.- Conan O'Brien

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

John McCain blocked Obama's plans to close Gitmo, which he's entitled to do since he beat Obama in the 2008 election.- Top Conservative Cat

D.C. Train Smoke Cause Determined
The smothering fumes in the Washington Metro that killed a woman and sent scores to the hospital were caused by something touching the high-voltage third rail, investigators said.

Nearly two dozen people remained hospitalized Tuesday, the day after smoke spiraled through the subway.

Honestly, if I were choosing between Rand, Cruz, Huckabee and Bush, I might go for someone who hadn't lost too badly last time.- LOLGOP

Immigration Payback
The U.S. House of Representatives will vote to fully fund the Department of Homeland Security this week while blocking President Barack Obama's actions on immigration, House Speaker John Boehner said on Tuesday.

Republican Shenanigans

Study: US white majority to end by mid-century. Bad news for Starbucks, trailer park owners, and the GOP - Jokeblogger.com

And The Horse Race Begins
The Republican presidential race is springing to life. No one is officially a candidate yet, but more than half a dozen big names are starting to get organized.

"We've never seen anything remotely like it," Rick Wilson, a Florida-based Republican consultant said.

Rock The Voter News

End Result Of Shoestring Budgets & Small Government
Congress has handed the IRS more work and less funding, leading to a decline in taxpayer service, the tax agency’s independent in-house critic said in a new report.

The agency’s inability to provide clear, timely assistance to the public is the most serious issue facing the nation’s taxpayers, according to the annual report released today by Nina Olson, the national taxpayer advocate.

Mitt Romney said he is considering a third presidential bid. Romney said he got the idea from watching his dog repeatedly run into an electric fence.- Seth Myers

Ohio State supporters riot in Columbus. Rudy Giuliani and Fox News insist ALL WHITE PEOPLE be held responsible for this violence.- Tea Party Cat

Business/Tech News

Christmas Sales Way Down. The War On Christmas Must Have Worked!
U.S. retail sales slumped last month in a sign consumers remained frugal even as gas prices declined and hiring picked up.

The Commerce Department says retail sales fell 0.9 percent in December, the largest decline since January.

Nike announced that this year it will sell self-lacing tennis shoes. By the way, if you're too lazy to lace up your tennis shoes you're really going to hate tennis.- Conan O'Brien