Friday, March 4, 2016

The GOP Slugfest





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Donald Trump defends size of his penis
Donald Trump assured American voters Thursday night that despite what Marco Rubio had suggested, there was "no problem" with the size of his hands -- or anything else.


The GOP debate was similar to watching a cock fight, without the cocks, just dicks.


83 years ago today, FDR said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" but he hadn't seen last night's debate.- LOLGOP








The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam



North Korea got nuclear weapons under George W. Bush, which is obviously Bill Clinton's fault.- LOLGOP






The Warring Republicans
 With U.S. Republicans sharply split over a front-runner they cannot unite behind, a new group is trying to push the country's top elected Republican, Paul Ryan, into the White House race.








The worst part of #GOPDebate had to be the screams from the graves of Eisenhower & Lincoln.- John Fugelsang


Republican Shenanigans









O'Reilly Can't Hold His Liquor? He's Shamed The Irish!
Fox News host Bill O’Reilly’s post-debate show on Thursday drew more attention than usual online, in part because several observers speculated that the Factor host was not in a condition to perform his duties.









We'll miss you, Dr. Ben Carson. The human Quaalude. - cafedotcom tweet







Caitlyn Jenner is brave but she's also become everything the GOP wants in a female voter. - rich, white, older AND she doesn't have a uterus. - John Fugelsang


Overcharging The Messenger 
Michigan's health department has demanded thousands of dollars to release documents related to one of the worst outbreaks of Legionnaires' disease in U.S. history, which some experts say could have been prevented had state officials acted sooner.









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When they do the live action version of 'Frozen' I want Megyn Kelly for Queen Elsa. - John Fugelsang



Rock The Voter News





While The GOP Is Infighting... President Obama mocked Republican presidential campaign and the news cycle Friday in an effort to draw attention to something he says is more important to the American people: jobs.




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Hi, it's cold and I don't read much so that proves 97% of the world's scientists are wrong about climate change.- John Fugelsang







Good thing no one ever asks Republicans why Obamacare has led to the best job creation of the century.- LOLGOP



Business/Tech News






#GOPDebate - It's like 'The Apprentice' but with fascism.- John Fugelsang



Sports Authority Not The Authority On Retailing
Sports Authority will close 19 stores in California as part of its bankruptcy proceedings. The Englewood, Colo.-based sporting goods retailer filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection Wednesday and said it would close or sell about 140 stores, or ..



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Odd News
Time To Deflate Photo

A picture of the saltwater lake  La’nga Co in Tibet. It's Sanskrit name translates to "lake of the demon", as the lake is devoid of fish and plants. Scott Kelly tweeted this picture in January. NASA/Scott Kelly

Peace.


Thursday, March 3, 2016

Romney calling Trump 'phony', urging Republicans to shun him




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Romney calling Trump 'phony', urging Republicans to shun him
Former GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney is charging into the increasingly divisive White House race with a verbal lashing of Donald Trump and a plea for fellow Republicans to shun the front-runner for the good of country and party.



Mitt Romney is an expert on what it takes to become president in the same way Tom Cruise is an expert on winning an Oscar. Great choice GOP!- Mrs. Betty Bowers









The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam



"His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He's playing the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat." -- Mitt Romney on Donald J. Trump








Mexico Says No To Trump Wall Payment
The Mexican government has made his first direct response to Donald Trump's pledge to build a wall along the two countries' border — and make Mexico pay for it.
Mexican Treasury Secretary Luis Videgaray says "emphatically and categorically" that his country isn't going to foot the bill for the project proposed by the Republican presidential hopeful.









Republican Shenanigans



The CEO of NASCAR, Brian France, spoke, saying that "Trump is a family man." And it's true, just ask any of Trump's three wives.- James Corden










Even The Speaker Of The House Is Laughing At Trump
House Speaker Paul Ryan says he "laughed out loud" when Donald Trump told the world this week that the Wisconsin Republican needs to get along with him or "pay a big price."











Sorry you didn’t win Best Picture, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for “Best Documentary.”- Conan O'Brien





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Donald Trump said in a new interview that there's nobody that's done so much for equality as he has. Well, he does appear to be doing everything in his power to make sure America has its first female president.- Seth Myers



Rock The Voter News





What Does Trump And The Bundy Standoff Have In Common?
FBI agents arrested Jerry DeLemus, co-chair of Veterans for Trump in New Hampshire, on Thursday following his indictment in connection with the 2014 Bundy Ranch standoff in Nevada, the New Hampshire Union Leader reported.





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Business/Tech News


Comes now The Mittens, whose Bain Capital threw thousands out of work, to explain why the "common people" shouldn't vote for someone else. - Barracks O'Bama Tweet




This Is News?
Fossil fuel millionaires collectively pumped more than $100m into Republican presidential contenders' efforts last year - in an unprecedented investment by the oil and gas industry in the party's future.










A Catholic priest in Ireland has resigned after a video surfaced of him snorting cocaine in a room decorated with Nazi memorabilia. He was also the first priest to ever tell someone at confession, "Ah, I think I got you beat."- Seth Myers






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Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Trump Wins Super Tuesday, Threatens Speaker of the House





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Trump: Ryan can get along with me or 'pay a big price'
Donald Trump warned Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) that he'll have to pay the price if he doesn't get along with a President Trump after Ryan repudiated him for failing to disavow backing from David Duke.


Donald Trump is like if a hate crime were a person.- OhNoSheTwitnt Tweet







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


Republicans can't beat Trump but expect us to believe they can beat ISIS?- BadGOP






How To Move To Canada Guide
After Donald Trump won sweeping electoral victories during Super Tuesday’s primary elections, dissatisfied voters might already be throwing in the towel and plotting their escape from the country.
Google searches of “how to move to Canada” spiked early Wednesday morning...













There was voting today in 13 states with hundreds of delegates at stake. Jeb Bush spent his Super Tuesday at home ironing and re-ironing his Tommy Bahama shirts.- Jimmy Kimmel



Republican Shenanigans



Anyone who still thinks Bernie or Hillary is a shoo-in to beat Trump obviously doesn't know as many terrible people as I do.- OhNoSheTwitnt Tweet








It's A Matter Of Time Before Someone Is Seriously Hurt Or Killed By Trump's Trolls
White supremacists hurled racist and sexist slurs Tuesday afternoon as they pushed a black protester out of a Donald Trump rally in Kentucky.












Ben Carson is the one GOP candidate who has done any good with his life. It's too bad he'll be remembered for this.- LOLGOP




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Looking forward to Trump explaining that he only backed re-segregating water fountains because he "forgot his reading classes somewhere."- LOLGOP








Analysts say Hillary Clinton's plan to defeat Donald Trump involves painting Trump as "dangerous and bigoted." She plans on doing this by quoting Trump accurately.- Conan O'Brien



Bruce Caitlyn Jenner To Bring Transgender Votes To GOP!
Caitlyn Jenner says she plans on having a conversation with whichever candidate wins the GOP presidential nomination.“I sit on the Republican side,” Jenner, 66, told “Today’s” Natalie Morales in a Wednesday interview, “and when we do get a candidate, I certainly will talk to them.”




Rock The Voter News






Sen Orrin Hatch (R-Utah): I don't think Trump tolerates racism, he’s "just inexperienced in expressing himself at things like that" 







The Dumbing Down Of Texas Continues
A former teacher who believes President Obama used to work as a gay prostitute seems well on her way to joining the Texas State Board of Education.











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Mike Huckabee, who doesn't think the Confederate Flag or jokes about Koreans eating dogs are racist, says Trump isn't racist.- John Fugelsang






Business/Tech News


Men are 543% more likely to look at porn than females. That's right, only 543%.- John Fugelsang






Attention HACKERS!!!
Attention hackers: Time to re-watch “WarGames” and crack your knuckles, the Pentagon is about to pay you to break into some government systems.



And then one day she realized she could never love a man who could name more than 2 Kardashians.- John Fugelsang






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