Bye Bye Bush

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Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton win big; Jeb Bush exits 
Donald Trump did more than win his second easy victory in consecutive presidential primaries in South Carolina on Saturday.
He advanced his takeover of the Republican Party. He proved that he can dominate a race in the Deep South.



Donald Trump reminds you that 2 Latinos are trying to take a job away from him.- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Seven people killed in random Michigan shootings, suspect in custody
• South Carolina mall evacuated Saturday after 'active shooter' reported
• Australia issues security alert for Kuala Lumpur
• North Korea confirms new military chief after reported execution

Maybe most Moslems peaceful, but until they recognize and destroy their growing jihadist cancer they must be held responsible. - Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox News

Let's all thank Jeb Bush for taking $100 million from some of the greediest selfish bastards in America & redistributing their wealth.- John Fugelsang




Republican Shenanigans

• Fresh off SC win, Trump hits Wall Street Journal
• The Latest: Trump: Can act more presidential 'pretty soon'
• Majority of South Carolina GOP voters favor Donald Trump's Muslim ban
• Romney to endorse Rubio for president 
• Big money donors look to Marco Rubio after Jeb Bush campaign collapses
• A historian sets Ted Cruz straight after he makes ridiculous claims about the Supreme Court
• Republicans in Congress Urge Women With Zika to Accept Microcephaly, Not Abortion

Remember those guys who berated you for opposing George W. Bush?
They're the guys berating you now for opposing Donald Trump.- John Fugelsang

Tea Party Queen Gets A Nod From The Donald
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump thanked former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin for her help after winning in the South Carolina primary.








What happens when the U.S. exhausts its supply of thoughts and prayers for shooting victims? Do we start borrowing from other countries? - OhNoSheTwitnt

Trump Is Attempting To Sound Presidential. Eyes Rolling.
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said Sunday that he "wouldn't be shocked" if he didn't get the GOP nomination, noting that there were "a lot of good people" competing against him.

Trump wins SC primary. After calling GWB a liar. After fighting with the Pope. After threatening to sue Ted Cruz. Welcome to the new GOP. - Matt Viser



Rock The Voter News

• Morgan Freeman voices new Clinton ad: ‘She’s always stood with us’
• Sanders faces struggle to broaden appeal after faltering in Nevada
• Sanders: Low Voter Turnout Hurt Us In Nevada 

Man Berns Himself
A Bernie Sanders supporter got a surprise phone call from the Secret Service after he attempted to place an obituary in a Las Vegas newspaper announcing the death of Sanders rival Hillary Clinton.

It's comforting to recognize that there are worse things than Trump being President. When you come up with one of those things, please let me know.- Andy Borowitz









Business/Tech News

• Stocks end mixed, still post best week of 2016
• John McAfee: I can crack the iPhone
• EPA asks Volkswagen to make electric cars in U.S.: Welt am Sonntag
• Telecom company abandoning Georgia after sweeping anti-gay bill passes: ‘We don’t tolerate that crap’

I support keeping the US minimum wage at $7.25hr - but only for Congress, because those guys already live off the tips. - John fugelsang

Cyber attack on power grid? It's going to happen.
The veteran journalist Ted Koppel caused a stir last fall when he published a book warning that the United States is likely to eventually suffer a devastating cyberattack on its electricity grid that could leave millions of Americans in the dark, short of water and food ...




IKEA is being accused of evading over $1 billion in taxes. Prosecutors have actually been after IKEA for years. They've just been having a hard time putting their case together.- Jimmy Fallon

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Fighting The Right Fundraiser

Thank you, every dollar helps!

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Odd News

• Teen Who Left Behind Homework While Ransacking Store Is Turned In By His Own Mom
• Utah woman says she found a snake head in canned green beans
• Postal Service apologizes for delivering blood-stained mail
• Young man poses as Ohio lawmaker, tours school
• Family seeks snow donations to help Frosty last until spring

Time To Deflate Photo

A Pink-Necked Green Pigeon and her twins.

Peace.

My friend is missing.

UPDATE: My friend Joe has been found. He is in the hospital.I spoke with him yesterday. He needs surgery. He also needs an attorney. Anyone know of any good attorneys in Las Vegas?

 I will have a new edition on Sunday. Deep apologies for any humor inconvenience.

Peace and love.

The Pope, Donald, the Pope?

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Donald Trump just flung this insane rant at Pope Francis
Donald Trump has responded to Pope Francis, who on Thursday said the GOP candidate was not a Christian because of his comments about immigrants.



Trump: "The Pope doesn't get to decide what's Christian." 
Um, actually, that's like the Pope's number one job.- Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• U.S. shootings since 1963 have killed more Americans than all wars ever
• At least 38 killed in U.S.-led strikes in Syria's Hasaka over 48 hours: monitor
• UN aid 'to reach all besieged Syria areas within a week
• Radioactive material missing in south Iraq: officials
• Iraq to shrink paramilitary forces due to shortage of funds

During his speech at the rally, George W. Bush said his brother Jeb is the guy who can fix the problems that inflame our country’s frustrations. Or in other words, Jeb is America’s Preparation H.- Jimmy Fallon

Obama Is Going To A Communist Country!!!
President Barack Obama will visit Cuba next month, multiple U.S. and diplomatic sources told CNN on Wednesday.



Next month, I'll travel to Cuba to advance our progress and efforts that can improve the lives of the Cuban people. - President Barack Obama

Ted Cruz is the guy who won't stop trying to sell you an above-ground pool & you keep telling him you live in an apartment. - John Fugelsang



Republican Shenanigans

• Outside groups warn GOP: Don’t even think about holding a SCOTUS hearing 
• Prospects fade for GOP budget
• South Carolina GOP Primary: Evangelicals Are Key
• Ben Carson Called Muslim Americans "Schizophrenic" for Loving Islam and American Values
• In town hall, MSNBC and ‘Morning Joe’ hosts let Trump skate on bigotry, racism

When fascism comes to America, it will wear cufflinks and have an open invite to call into Morning Joe.- LOLGOP

Guns In Schools Nationwide Bill Introduced By....drum roll please...A Texan Of Course!
Texas Republican Rep. Randy Weber has introduced legislation that would allow people with concealed carry permits to possess guns in schools nationwide.




The Pope is tougher on Trump than "Morning Joe" is.- LOLGOP

Oh, Jeb! Engraving your name on your gun is a slippery slope to a government database of gun owners, then something something tyranny. - Tea Party Cat

Benghazi Is Back!
The head of the House’s Benghazi committee is claiming to have achieved “significant breakthroughs” following interviews with top Obama administration officials this month.





If there were a Supreme Court opening early in a GOP president's last year, there would already be TV ads demanding the Senate do its job.- LOLGOP



Rock The Voter News

• Jane Sanders Is Central in Her Husband's Surging Campaign
• Clinton stresses Obama ties, says she'll build on 'progress'

The Vagina Gatekeeper's Newest Keys
A special House panel investigating Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers has issued its first three subpoenas, the Republican chairman of the committee said 



So far today I learned that God killed Scalia because He supports Cruz, guns make us free and Beyoncé is to blame for violence against cops. - OhNoSheTwitnt ‏Tweet









The Pope Makes Historical Statement
Pope Francis insisted Thursday that abortion was always a crime but hinted that the Church could exceptionally relax its ban on contraception for women at risk of contracting the Zika virus.



A guy who would turn on the Pope when it's convenient would probably turn on you.- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

• Oil extends rally above $35 after Iran welcomes output freeze
• Business leaders confident Congress, White House can iron out differences on Pacific trade deal
• Los Angeles hospital paid hackers $17,000 ransom in bitcoins
• Yahoo to shut down digital magazines

If want a hint of how bad the economy was in 2008, think about Jeb Bush's campaign today.- LOLGOP

GOP Criticizing Apple, Inc.
Prominent Republicans criticized Apple Inc on Wednesday for opposing a government request for help hacking into an iPhone belonging to one of the San Bernardino attackers, calling the issue tough but important to boosting national security.



I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

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Fighting The Right Fundraiser

That's me, on the left.


Thank you!!

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NOTICE: My friend Joe is still missing. No word from him. 

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Odd News

• Tampa police refusing to work sold out Beyoncé stadium show
• Police: Man took backhoe joyride on Florida's 7 Mile Bridge
• Pope loses his cool with person who almost knocked him down
• Hershey's Kisses coming out with a carrot cake flavor for Easter 
• 81-year-old woman chases fleeing robbers, rams them with car

Time To Deflate Photo

Even seals know how to photobomb!

Peace.

TRUMP HAS SOLO ACT ON MSNBC!

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Joe Scarborough will host a 'town hall' with Donald Trump, and only Donald Trump 
You know all that fretting MSNBC insiders were doing over what they saw as host Joe Scarborough's "unseemly" on-air promotion of his personal friend Donald Trump? It looks like the network heads have decided to just roll with it.



Trump Wows South Carolina Audience with Promise to Win Civil War. - Andy Borowitz

The Bundy Militia Leave Their Stench
The FBI has found "a trench of human feces" on or near a Native American burial ground at the federal wildlife refuge in Oregon that armed militia members had occupied for more than a month

The Judge who ordered no autopsy on #Scalia is the largest Obama donor in that county. No one wants to talk about it 'cause I made it up. - Dan Ewen Tweet

Obama Skipping Scalia's Funeral
White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said Wednesday that President Barack Obama doesn't plan to attend the funeral for Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.
Earnest said Obama and his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, would "pay their respects" to Justice Scalia on Friday at the Supreme Court as he lies in repose. He said Vice President Joe Biden and his wife Jill planned to attend the funeral on Saturday.

America. Where nothing says white privilege like being @jebbush and tweeting a picture of your gun.- The Daily Edge

Republicans have no problem with #SCOTUS picking a president but such problems with this president picking a #SCOTUS justice. Interesting. - Karl Frisch tweet











Spoiler alert: America ends with Donald Trump calmly walking away from a nuclear explosion. - Jeff Tiedrich

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The short edition is my fault. Mea culpa.

A close friend of AHNC is missing. Joe is an expat living in Peru who was visiting Phoenix, Arizona. It has been 27 hours since he emailed me asking for help. Joe said he dropped a friend at the airport in Las Vegas, that he was lost and asked if I could help him. I responded and never heard back from him. I have been in contact with his friend in Peru and we are all worried.

I have never met Joe yet we have known each other online for over a decade. I requested a physical description of him and/or photo and will report this to the proper authorities.

I don't know what else to do.


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Odd News

• Unborn baby punches self in face during ultrasound 

Time To Deflate Photo

The Mary River turtle is an endangered short-necked turtle that is endemic to the Mary River in south-east Queensland, Australia.

Peace.

W and Jeb!

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Jeb Bush Gets A Brotherly Hand From George W. In South Carolina
Former President George W. Bush came to the aid of his brother Jeb Bush’s Republican presidential campaign in South Carolina on Monday with a rousing endorsement of his character and a call for voters to reject the angry bluster of Donald Trump.



Amateur watercolorist who said Iraq would be a cakewalk and tax cuts would create jobs now says his brother would be a good president. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Turkey seeks allies' support for ground operation as Syria war nears border
• Russia denies striking charity's hospital in Syria
• State Department welcomes release of three Americans in Iraq: statement
• Greece hits out at EU migrant criticism
• CIA head: Cyberattack threat "keeps me up at night"
• Colorado Planned Parenthood reopens after deadly rampage

"Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached."- Antonin Scalia

The Mooslums Are Coming! The Mooslums Are Coming!
City officials in a small Texas town notified Department of Homeland Security officials out of fear over a flag bearing the words, “Love is for all” in Arabic script, 

Republican Shenanigans

• 'No autopsy necessary': Justice Scalia said to have died of 'natural causes'
• Donald Trump Says He's 'Very Seriously' Considering Suing Ted Cruz
• Trump supporter flips out and attacks Fox pundit’s breast size 
• 4 in 10 Trump supporters in SC wish South had won the Civil War
• Donald Trump accuses Marco Rubio of ‘excess sweating’ that would affect his ability to deal with Putin
• ‘A 4-4 court is not a good thing’: CNN host tells Orrin Hatch to do his job and hold confirmation hearings

People who fear that Scalia will be replaced by a "more liberal" justice don't realize that compared to Scalia almost everyone is more liberal. - John Fugelsang

I'm a strict consipationist.

No Hat No Cattle
 A Nevada rancher, Cliven Bundy will return to court Tuesday to seek his release from jail in Oregon, where he went to support the armed occupation of a national wildlife preserve led by his sons.














Ted Cruz is so extreme he plans to sponsor a Constitutional Amendment outlawin' Arabic numerals.- Tea Pain tweet








Controversial Prof In Limelight Again
An embattled University of Missouri professor has again found herself to be the subject of public scrutiny, after a video surfaced that shows her engaged in a verbal confrontation with police.

89% of Trump supporters want to deport Obama to Hawaii.- LOLGOP



Rock The Voter News

• Clinton: Obama likely to pressure GOP with high court pick
• Hillary Clinton barks like a dog while criticizing the Republican Party 

Colbert mocks Hillary's youth outreach: "She won Old Hampshire"



Bernie Meets With Eric Garner's Daughter
The daughter of Eric Garner, whose death at the hands of New York City police officers two years ago sparked allegations of police brutality against African-Americans, met with Democratic presidential candidate Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders on Tuesday.

More High Winds Headed My Way!
A new cold front expected to enter the country on Thursday will bring strong winds throughout most of Costa Rica, the National Meteorological Institute (IMN) reported Monday.
Costa Rica weather forecasts estimate the front will bring gusts ranging from 50 to 80 kilometers per hour.



Female Presidential Candidate Who Was United States Senator, Secretary Of State Told To Be More Inspiring- The Onion

Business/Tech News

• US stocks rising for the second day in a row in broad rally
• Boeing sees new aircraft demand worth $550 billion in Southeast Asia over 20 years
• 2015 was a record-setting yr. for automobiles. Here are the most exotic, luxurious & incredible cars

The Republicans' handling of the Supreme Court vacancy shows that when given the opportunity to create even one job they won't do it. ~ Andy Borowitz

Meanwhile Russia and Saudi Arabia...
 Russia's energy minister said Tuesday that his country has agreed with OPEC members Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Venezuela to freeze oil production levels if other producers do the same.



It's been reported that infamous drug lord El Chapo will stand trial in Brooklyn. Though I'm not sure it's a good idea to try him in a place that already has, like, five tunnels.- Seth Myers

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Odd News

• Freakish eel-like sea creature shows up on Australian beach
• Expats hold mass wedding to bypass Costa Rica's 'discriminatory' paperwork requirement
• Egypt orders arrest of Facebook administrator after unfaithful wives comments
• Chinese Farmer Builds Towering Clay Castle In Hopes His Dead Brothers Will Return
• Sea lion found starving in San Diego restaurant on the mend

Time To Deflate Photo

Lake Sorvagsvatn hangs up above the Atlantic Ocean in the Faroe Islands.

Peace.