Thursday, April 19, 2018

How to remove Trump in three easy steps

Rudy Giuliani joins Trump legal team, hopes to end Russia probe in ‘a week or two’
Rudy Giuliani said Thursday that he will join President Trump’s legal team and hopes to bring an end to the special counsel’s investigation into Russian election meddling in “a week or two.”


The interesting part of the qualification for Speaker of the House, is you do not have to be an elected member of Congress. The Democrats could elect any American they want to be Speaker. They could return a stolen election to its rightful owner by following the Constitution, if they are brave enough.


"Waiter? Yeah, we specifically ordered the Totalitarian Authoritarian Washington-Outsider #MAGA Special but I think you brought us Bush's 3rd Term with Russian Dressing." - John Fugelsang





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

The Nikki Haley story reminds me of the folk tale about the mountaineer who took in a pet rattlesnake that would coil up and sit in his lap in front of the fire at night. When the snake finally bit him, the dying man asked, “Why?”
“Well,” the answer came, I am a rattlesnake after all. You knew that.” - Jimmie von Tungeln


Nikki Haley better be packing up her office.



My My My. Michael Cohen Drops Libel Suits About The Dossier
Embattled attorney Michael Cohen has dropped a pair of much-touted libel suits against BuzzFeed and the private investigation firm Fusion GPS over publication of the so-called dossier detailing alleged ties between President Donald Trump and Russia.





Once again, President Trump has referred to Mar-a-Lago as "the Southern White House." Of course, when Trump refers to the actual White House, he refers to it as "the Western Kremlin."- Conan O'Brien




Republican Shenanigans

Yesterday, after Ambassador Nikki Haley told the U.N. that the United States was going to level more sanctions against Russia, the White House quickly contradicted her, saying she suffered from "momentary confusion." It's got to hurt, being called "confused" by the Trump White House. That's like being called hateful and mean-spirited by . . . well, by the Trump White House.- James Conden





I Love To Wake Up In The Morning To Republican Infighting
Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) on Thursday defended his decision to move legislation protecting special counsel Robert Mueller despite Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's (R-Ky.) opposition.
"Obviously, the majority leader's views are important to consider, but they do not govern what happens here in the Judiciary Committee,"...


Trump and Melania had dinner with Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and his wife. There was an awkward moment when Trump kept yelling at the waiter, "This sushi is raw! Send it back!" - Jimmy Fallon





FBI Tells Michael Cohen He Will Need Better-fitting Jacket to Wear a Wire. - Andy Borowitz


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Rock The Voter News




Republicans in Congress are urging the FBI to launch an investigation into Hillary Clinton. Man, Hillary Clinton – what did she do over two years ago NOW?- Conan O'Brien






Trump Vendetta #2,779,022 Or Is McCabe Guilty?
The Department of Justice Office of the Inspector General on Thursday sent the United States Attorney for the District of Columbia a criminal referral regarding former deputy FBI director Andrew McCabe







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Business/Tech News

The Kremlin bestowed its highest honor on Trump after he refused to impose sanctions on Russia. - Andy Borowitz




Lawyers Are Starting Their Engines
Despite the praise Southwest Airlines is drawing from passengers for the valiant efforts of its crew during the deadly ordeal of Flight 1380, the airline still likely faces tens of millions of dollars in legal damages from those on board, experts say.


Before Instagram there were no options for desperate Americans who needed pics of what someone else got at Starbucks. - John Fugelsang


Where are you Spring?


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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

The Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida. Early in his career, Dali was shunned by his fellow artists who accused him of copying their work. Now, he has a museum.

Peace.


Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Comrade Bonespurs

Russian news agencies say US told Moscow no new sanctions for now
Russian news agencies reported on Wednesday that U.S. President Donald Trump’s administration had informed the Russian embassy in Washington that the United States had no immediate plans to impose new sanctions.


Breaking: Trump administration notified Russian Embassy in Washington no additional US sanctions were coming -Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman to CNN. - Jim Sciutto





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

When are we gonna stop talking about the man who was killed in a fire at Trump Tower, the president's building without sprinklers? Let it go already. - Laurie Kilmartin





What? Unusual Cellular Surveillance In D.C.?
Four U.S. senators on Wednesday urged the U.S. Homeland Security Department (DHS) to disclose additional information about unusual cellular surveillance activity that has been detected around the nation’s capital.







There needs to be an investigation to see if anyone in the Trump Admin has ties to America. I mean sweet baby Jesus.- irishygirl





Republican Shenanigans

Trump last night issued proclamation that flags be lowered to half-staff “as a mark of respect” for Barbara Bush.
This morning, flag still flying high at Mar-Lago, the “Southern White House.” (per pool) - Peter Alexander, NBC News




Twitter went down for almost an hour. As a result, President Trump was forced to open a window and start yelling at people on the street.- Conan O'Brien


Follow The Trump Money
The law firm representing Michael Cohen — which this week fought in court to shield communications between Cohen and President Trump from government investigators — has received payments from President Trump’s re-election campaign.






My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate. - Rex Huppke




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IRS Announces Refunds Will Come In Form Of Forever Stamps This Year - The Onion




Rock The Voter News



Puerto Rico's Power Grid Collapses
Puerto Rico has suffered an island-wide power outage, Puerto Rico's power authority said Wednesday -- nearly seven months after Hurricane Maria destroyed much of the island's infrastructure and its electrical grid.












GOP: WE WANT CLINTON AND COMEY INVESTIGATED!
A group of conservative lawmakers on Wednesday wrote to Attorney General Jeff Sessions asking him to investigate Hillary Clinton, former FBI Director James Comey and others whom President Trump has targeted on Twitter and elsewhere.







I agree, this scandal where Hillary colluded with Russia to sell uranium to ISIS in Benghazi in order to finance the child sex ring run out of the basement of a pizza parlor that has no basement really needs to be looked into for the fifteen hundredth time. - Jeff Tiedrich




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Business/Tech News

Impoverished Kenyan Bean Picker Can’t Wait To See What Starbucks Has To Say About Racial Sensitivity- The Onion





Ivanka Resorts To Selling Her Clothing Collection Online
Shoppers interested in buying peplum blouses and sheath dresses from Ivanka Trump's clothing line no longer need to comb through the racks at TJ Maxx.
On Wednesday, the first daughter and top adviser to the president began selling the women's wear collection on her website for the first time, according to Bloomberg—just over a year since brands like Nordstrom, Burlington Coat Factory and Belk stopped selling the line. 





Graffiti is the Twitter of the streets. - Stephen King





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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo


Mother Nature must've been on an acid trip when she created this frog.

Peace.


Tuesday, April 17, 2018

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the Oval Office

Judge Rejects Trump Request To Sift Through Cohen Documents First, May Use Mediator
A federal judge on Monday denied a request to allow the president and his longtime attorney Michael Cohen a first crack at viewing the documents seized from Cohen in FBI raids last week, before prosecutors can sift through the haul. But she also said she wasn’t ready yet to rule on who would eventually get to decide what materials might stay confidential.


Cohen has more attorneys than clients.


Comey: 'What Can I Say, I'm Just A Catty Bitch From New Jersey And I Live For Drama' - The Onion




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Nation shocked to hear of possible bias at Fox News - Andy Borowitz



Hannity Is Going To Need Lots Of Lawyers
Sean Hannity finds himself in a professionally problematic situation after he was outed in federal court as the mystery third client of President Donald Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen — but he could potentially be in deeper trouble.





Best excerpt from the Comey book thus far: denying the allegations in the Steele dossier, Trump asked Comey, “Do I look like a guy who needs hookers?”

Ladies, over to you.- Andy Borowitz





Republican Shenanigans

A source close to the Bush family tells CBS News' Jenna Gibson that, while Mrs. Bush's COPD makes it difficult for her to breathe, she is alert and was having conversations last night. She was also having a bourbon.- Katie Watson






What was I thinking?
New Conservative Supreme Court Justice Sides With Liberals!
Justice Neil Gorsuch, President Trump's selection last year for the Supreme Court, cast the deciding vote in a decision released Tuesday that sided with an immigrant fighting his deportation.
Gorsuch ruled with the court's four liberal justices in favor of the immigrant, James Garcia Dimaya, who argued that his convictions on two burglary charges did not represent a violent crime.


It has come out today that President Trump's lawyer Michael Cohen also represents Fox News host Sean Hannity. Apparently, Cohen would pay women $130,000 to watch Hannity’s show.- Conan O'Brien








Failed Right Wing Nut Selling His Jet
As his media empire collapses, Glenn Beck listed his private jet for sale, according to the Daily Beast.
On the Federal Aviation Administration records, Beck is selling his 996 DC9-15 aircraft for an undisclosed price. The jet is registered under number N8860.










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The Trump presidency is now officially a Coen Brothers movie. - Andy Borowitz


Rock The Voter News





hey Sean Hannity I hate to be the one to tell you this, old bean, but if the email lady were president right now none of this would be coming to light so be careful what you wish for, homeslice- Jeff Tiedrich



Mueller ponders the clusterf**k he has to sort through.
Mueller Issues Statement On Fake News Through Conservative Newspaper. Hint, Hint?
Special counsel Robert Mueller’s office warned in a statement that many reports about his investigation of the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia are inaccurate.
The former FBI director has not commented directly on the widening probe, but his spokesman issued a rare public statement to the conservative Washington Times urging journalists to use caution when reporting on the investigation’s inner workings.





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Tonight Sean Hannity's going to expose Sean Hannity's connection to Hillary Clinton. - Jesse McLaren





Business/Tech News

United Airlines Updates Policy On Allowing Dogfights In Passenger Cabin - The Onion






TV Tariffs
Televisions will cost U.S. consumers millions more each year if President Trump slaps billions in proposed tariffs on China, a new study shows.







The peace of the free world are in hands you wouldn’t trust with your beer money. - David Frum





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I hope you had a good time today




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Wild, Wild Horses at the Outer Banks in North Carolina.

Peace.