Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Headline in the year 2046

Sheriff Arpaio on Obama birth certificate: 'I'm not going to give up'
Even though Donald Trump finally acknowledged last week that President Barack Obama was born in the United States, one of the Republican nominee's most prominent allies in law enforcement is not dropping the case.


So birtherism is awful. And one unproven allegation of it from 8 years ago is worse than 5 years of screaming about it on TV. Perfect sense. - LOLGOP







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

If rallies decide this election, prepare for our first monster truck president.- LOLGOP



Corporate Terrorism?
About 30 minutes east of Tampa Bay, a 45-foot-wide sinkhole opened in late August, depositing at least 215 million gallons of polluted, slightly radioactive water into a vast underground aquifer. (That's enough to fill more than 310 Olympic-size swimming pools.) The company responsible for the spill, fertilizer giant Mosaic, didn't publicly disclose it until last Thursday, two weeks after it started. 





Republican Shenanigans

Donald Trump's record...   
Elected offices held: 0   
Divorces: 2   
Bankruptcies: 4   
Draft deferments: 5   
Bad hair days: 12,375
- FrankTheDoorman





Trump and Polish Undocumented Workers
When Marco Rubio attacked Donald Trump on the debate stage this week for using undocumented Polish workers to build Trump Tower, the developer shrugged it off.
"He brings up something from 30 years ago," Trump shot back. "It worked out very well. Everybody was happy."


Donald Trump has pledged to create 25 million new jobs. All of them in the profession of fact-checking. - Conan O'Brien




Donald Trump’s running mate Mike Pence said that his role model for the vice presidency is Dick Cheney. To prove it, this weekend Pence had six heart attacks and shot his friend in the face.- Conan O'Brien

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Rock The Voter News

It’s come out that Hillary Clinton is having a hard time connecting with millennial voters. So now she’s saying that last week’s coughing spell was actually due to a massive bong hit.- Conan O'Brien





Don't Mess With Texas!
Back in July, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit ruled that Texas’ draconian new voter ID requirements are illegal under the federal Voting Rights Act because they discriminate against minorities. In accordance with that decision, U.S. District Judge Nelva Gonzales Ramos forbade the state from enforcing the blocked law or disenfranchising voters who lack ID.
But Texas quickly violated this court order by actively misleading voters about ID requirements in statements to the press and official voting materials.

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When asked point-blank whether he considered women humans, the billionaire responded, “It should be a case-by-case thing.”- Andy Borowitz


Biz/Tech News





How To Navigate Trump's Wall
Drug smugglers employ very creative methods to get their loads across the U.S.-Mexico border.
But it's not every day they use a van outfitted with a 10-foot (3-meter) air cannon to shoot projectiles into the United States...Smugglers have even used heavy equipment and ladders to hoist trucks loaded with marijuana over the border fence, which in parts of Arizona can go as high as 26 feet (7.9 meters).



One thing Trump never used Trump Foundation funds to pay for was dignity. - Jeff Tiedrich



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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

Oldest known photo of a Tornado, 20 miles SW of Howard, South Dakota, US. Aug. 28, 1884.

Peace.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

It's as plain as black and white

Jill Stein insists Trump is less dangerous than Clinton – and attacks Bernie Sanders as a DC insider
...Like Trump, Stein is also a fan of Russian president Vladimir Putin and appears on the Putin-controlled cable news network RT (Russia Today). Her trip to Russia and an appearance on RT sparked conspiracy theories that Stein was a recruit from Trump’s former aide Paul Manafort and Clinton foe Julian Assange, who Stein regards as a hero.


What is this sudden love for Putin? Trump and now Jill Stein cozying up to Russians. Russians?







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


Trump's supporters believe that as far as terrorism goes, Trump is "tougher" than Hillary -- because, presumably, nothing makes you tougher than inheriting millions of dollars from your dad. - Andy Borowitz




France Trumps Trump: Builds A Wall!
After weeks of preparation, workers have begun building a 4-meter (13-foot) high wall in northern France to try to keep migrants from sneaking onto ferries crossing the English Channel.
The kilometer-long (0.6 mile-long) wall is the latest barrier against thousands of migrants living in a makeshift camp near the port town of Calais.





I am in favor of profiling people if that will protect our country from danger. Specifically, I am in favor of profiling people with narcissistic personality disorder and preventing them from becoming President. - Andy Borowitz


Republican Shenanigans


Donald Trump Jr.: Like Donald Trump Sr., but without the empathy. - Andy Borowitz






Trump Spent Charity Money On Legal Bills, Oh, And A Painting Of Himself Too!
Donald Trump spent more than a quarter-million dollars from his charitable foundation to settle lawsuits that involved the billionaire’s for-profit businesses, according to interviews and a review of legal documents.








From now on, instead of calling the Trump Foundation “a charity”, can we call it “a Kickstarter for Trump’s legal bills”? - Erik Bransteen





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Trump’s calls to torture and mistreat prisoners go against the very values we are fighting to defend. We’re better than this.- Hillary Clinton


Rock The Voter News





Do people notice Hillary is copying my airplane rallies - she puts the plane behind her like I have been doing from the beginning. - Donald J. Trump Tweeted today



Not gonna vote for Trump. Not gonna do it.
It wouldn't be prudent.

Bush Is Voting For Hillary
Former President George H.W. Bush is bucking his party's presidential nominee and plans to vote for Hillary Clinton in November, according to a member of another famous political family, the Kennedys.








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Reminder: Rich people who don't want to pay for anything broke our economy, not immigrants or refugees.- LOLGOP





Biz/Tech News

Convincing people who will die of heart disease they should be more afraid of immigrants than losing their health insurance is some racket.- LOLGOP





Exxon Being Investigated By The SEC
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission is investigating how Exxon Mobil Corp. has valued its assets in the face of the current plunge in oil prices—and how it estimates their future worth in a world of increasing climate change regulations...


I am grateful to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt for briefly taking airtime away from Donald Trump. - Andy Borowitz




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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo

Men building the San Francisco Bay Bridge, 1935. It looks so surreal, so stark, as though it was an Edward Hopper painting.

Peace.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Confucius say...


Trump says bombs will be going off ‘all over the country’ because ‘we’ve been weak’
Reacting to the explosions in New Jersey and New York this weekend, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump warned Monday the U.S. may see more terrorist strikes because "our country's been weak."


When Trump is President, the first thing he will do after a terror attack is go on TV and say, "I knew this would happen. See how right I was about this? This is an amazing day for me." - Andy Borowitz






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


1) Read tweets about Ahmad Khan Rahami
2) Note who's excited for a terror attack to help their candidate
3) Don't vote for their candidate
- John Fugelsang







BREAKING: Putin endorses Trump, which is totally not weird and nobody should freak out over a Russian dictator taking sides in US election. - Tea Party Cat


Wow. That Was Fast.
Ahmad Khan Rahami, earlier named as a "person of interest" in the weekend explosions in New York City and New Jersey, was taken into custody and hospitalized this morning after a shootout with police in Linden, New Jersey, the Union County acting prosecutor said today.








Republican Shenanigans

STOP comparing Trump to Hitler - Hitler didn't lie to get 5 deferments to avoid serving in a war he supported.- John Fugelsang



Security Officials Want Transparency From Trump
A Newsweek article about Donald Trump’s foreign business entanglements has prompted 55 former U.S. government and national security officials to publish an open letter calling for transparency regarding the Trump Organization’s dealings.







Scarborough Is No Different From Trump, Both Are Opportunists
The entire panel of guests on MSNBC’s Morning Joe took on show’s namesake host, Joe Scarborough, on Monday after he came to the defense of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s thinly-veiled assassination comments about Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton.




Clinton & Ali opposed the war, defied draft.  Trump, W, Cheney, Rush supported the war, dodged draft.  Notice a difference?- John Fugelsang




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When Hillary Clinton says she’s going to make public colleges and universities tuition-free, you know what? That's a very big deal.- Bernie Sanders





Rock The Voter News




Hillary Is A Terrorist? I Bet bin Laden Thought Otherwise.
Donald Trump claimed in a statement Monday afternoon that terrorist groups are “hoping and praying” Hillary Clinton is elected president, turning a criticism she often lobs his way on its head.










Remember: This November you can help elect President Donald Trump just by voting for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein!  Happy Election Year!- Seth MacFarlane


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George Wallace didn't come up with segregation either, but at least he never tried to blame it on Hillary Clinton.- LOLGOP


Biz/Tech News





TRUMP ECONOMIC PLAN CALLS FOR EVERY AMERICAN TO INHERIT MILLIONS FROM FATHER. - Andy Borowitz



I Would've Named The B-21 "Ridiculously Expensive"
The US Air Force has picked a name to go with the number for its next long-range bomber—even though it will be nearly a decade before the aircraft comes into service. After sifting through 2,100 unique names submitted in a contest run by the Air Force Global Strike Command (the successor to the Strategic Air Command), the Air Force's leadership selected "Raider" as the official name for the B-21.






I Just Wish NFL Players Could Find A Way To Protest Without Starting A National Dialogue - The Onion




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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

A scary photoshop! YIKES, not that I am terrified of sharks.

Peace.