All Hat No Cattle

Monday, June 15, 2015

JEB'S "NEW" LOGO GETS TRASHED BY INTERNET

JEB'S "NEW" LOGO GETS TRASHED BY INTERNET
Jeb Bush unveiled his new campaign logo this weekend ahead of his official entrance into the presidential field, and it shouldn't be anything new to any longtime Floridians. It's essentially just an update of the same "Jeb!" logo he's been using for every race since 1994.

"You won't see my hair turn white in the White House, I've been dying it for years!" - Hillary Clinton

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Vladimir Putin traveled to Italy to meet with Pope Francis yesterday. They say Putin should be done with confession by sometime next fall.- Jimmy Fallon

Putin Is Angry That U.S. Is Going To Do What He Has Been Doing
A plan by Washington to station tanks and heavy weapons in NATO states on Russia's border would be the most aggressive U.S. act since the Cold War, and Moscow would retaliate by beefing up its own forces, a Russian defense official said on Monday.

In Texas currently your personal safety pretty much peaks when you're a fetus and it's all downhill from there.- Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

The most Romney thing about Jeb Bush is the disbelief he exudes at the thought that anyone wouldn't want him in charge of everything.- LOLGOP

Billionaire With Car Elevator Calls Hillary A Snob
Two-time presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney (R) said on Monday that Democratic contender Hillary Clinton gives off an air of chronic insincerity, no matter what her new speeches say.

"When you see her on a stage or when she comes into a room full of people, she's smiling with her mouth but her eyes say, 'Where's my latte?'" Romney said on MSNBC's "Morning Joe."

Presidential hopeful Rand Paul warned the media today that if anyone is mean to his wife during the campaign, they'll have to answer to him. And Hillary Clinton said that if anyone is mean to Bill, that’s totally fine.- Seth Myers

Rock The Voter News

BREAKING: The Supreme Court thinks 6 million Americans can wait another week or two to find out if they still have health insurance.- LOLGOP

Wow. A Win For Women's Rights
The US Supreme Court on Monday let stand an appeals court decision blocking a North Carolina law that sought to require abortion providers to conduct an ultrasound and display and describe the image to any woman considering ending her pregnancy.

Texas is now our most pro-life state, with just seven abortion clinics and a little over ninety thousand gun stores.- Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

Since 1961: 28 years of GOP presidents, 28 Democratic.

The jobs score?
GOP 24 million.
Democrats 53 million. - LOLGOP

Roundup Banned In France
French Ecology Minister Segolene Royal announced Sunday a ban on the sale of popular weedkiller Roundup from garden centres, which the UN has warned may be carcinogenic.

Three astronauts returned to Earth today from the International Space Station after spending more than 200 days in space. Said one of the astronauts, “Bill Cosby did what?”- Seth Myers

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Almost at the bottom of the earth, Patagonia, Chile.

Peace.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Sanders floats top tax rate of over 50 percent

Sanders floats top tax rate of over 50 percent
Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), a Democratic presidential candidate, says he would support raising the tax rate on the wealthiest Americans to over 50 percent.

Hillary Clinton has joined Instagram. Meanwhile, her Democratic opponent Bernie Sanders joined telegram. - Seth Myers

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

North Korea Is Worried About U.S. Anthrax
North Korea accused the United States of targeting it with anthrax and asked the United Nations Security Council to investigate Washington's "biological warfare schemes" after a live anthrax sample was sent to a U.S. base in South Korea.

"Jeb Bush is taking his presidential campaign on a tour of Europe. He's telling Europeans, 'I like you guys because you're comfortable having the same family in charge for centuries.'" –Conan O"Brien

Women shouldn't be ashamed of having sex -- unless they've had sex with Jeb Bush.- Dan Savage

Republican Shenanigans

I feel like getting rid of the Iowa Straw Poll is just another way the GOP is trying to pretend Michele Bachmann never happened.- LOLGOP

Okie Senator Tells Pope To Mind His Own Business
Washington’s notorious snowball-thrower was at it again – even on a June day with forecast highs of 92 degrees – as the Senate’s most powerful environmental leader delivered a pep talk to activists who deny the science behind climate change....His message – that “God is still up there” and that Pope Francis should mind his own business – sent a clear signal to his fellow conservatives: climate sceptics have a loyal – and newly powerful – friend in Congress.

Texas to Convert Abortion Clinics to Gun Stores. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Thanks, Obama. Really!
Capping a weeklong defense of the Affordable Care Act, President Obama sat down with a cancer-surviving "Extra" anchor who thanked the president for saving his life.

Republican Women Begin The Hillary Attack. Correction, They Never Stopped.
Despite her gender, the Democratic frontrunner has come in for harsh attacks from women of the opposing party.
On Thursday night in Washington, Carly Fiorina, the only woman running for the Republican nomination, delivered the keynote address at a red-meat-themed event: the “Bourbon and BBQ Bash” held by the Competitive Enterprise Institute, a nonprofit that celebrates limited government and free markets. The tagline for the dinner read “Liberty served smooth and smokin’.”

Elections. How we remind America that being rich doesn't make you smart. - LOLGOP

Gotta meet the GOP strategist who said, "Last time we weren't anti-woman or anti-gay enough. And more Bush!"- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

...and so every nite while ur fast asleep the Iphone Fairy softly slips in and re-tangles your headphones.- John Fugelsang

Conservatives Fighting. Life Is Good.
Fox News chief Roger Ailes once reportedly called James Murdoch a "fucking dope," and has a long history of feuding with Lachlan Murdoch. Today, it was reported that they are taking over Fox News' parent company

A Nobel Prize-winning scientist was asked about female scientists, and he said, "Three things happen when they are in the lab: You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticize them, they cry." His funeral is Saturday.- Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

The crystal clear water of Bora Bora. I hope your weekend is as beautiful as this photo.

Peace.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Rupert Murdoch Will Reportedly Step Down As CEO Of Fox News Parent

Rupert Murdoch Will Reportedly Step Down As CEO Of Fox News Parent
Rupert Murdoch is set to step down as the CEO of Fox News Channel's parent company, CNBC reported Thursday.
Anonymous sources close to the Murdoch family told CNBC that Murdoch, 84, is expected to hand the reins of broadcasting giant 21st Century Fox over to his son, James Murdoch.

REMINDER: When Republicans refer to "The Founders," they mean Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Love that Jeb Bush believes the solution to bad behavior is public shaming. His running for POTUS proves it doesn't work.- Tina Dupuy

Jeb Forgets He Has A Brother
Jeb Bush evoked the symbolic power of his father’s cold war ties with Germany during a speech in Berlin on Tuesday aimed at bolstering his foreign policy credentials ahead of the probable declaration of his presidential candidacy in Miami next week.
But he made no reference to his older brother, who is still widely vilified in Germany for ordering the invasion of Iraq and for the US surveillance programs exposed by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden.

Ornette Coleman and Christopher Lee are gone; while Rupert Murdoch steps down from 20th Cent FOX to enjoy more True Blood. - John Fugelsang

Still Having To Deal With The Bush/Cheney Torture Chambers
The Senate will soon consider an amendment by Sens. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) that would prevent torture from being used during interrogation by any U.S. personnel. This amendment stems in part from the release in December of the Senate's report on CIA torture, which stirred an intense debate about the efficacy of this method — particularly whether information sought from suspected terrorists could be gleaned using other sources or techniques.

Republican Shenanigans

62% of evangelicals oppose same-sex marriage and 19% of them are Duggars.- LOLGOP

Grand Old Pedophiles
John Perry, a prolific author who co-wrote two books with former Arkansas governor and presidential candidate Mike Huckabee and co-wrote one with Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, was accused of child molestation in two separate lawsuits

Rock The Voter News

During a recent speech, Mike Huckabee said he is the only person who has fought the Clinton political machine and won. “You sure about that?” said President Barack Obama.- Jimmy Fallon

Tracking Down The Racists
A white woman accused of making racist comments that sparked a fight at a community pool in McKinney, Texas, last week has been placed on administrative leave at her job at CoreLogic.

The party that uses the government to control a woman's body is upset because a woman doesn't think we should use the word "guys."- LOLGOP

This Is A Bizarre Story
A female prison worker being questioned by police, who are hunting two escapees from an upstate New York prison, thought she had a romantic relationship with one of them and had planned to drive the getaway car, NBC News reported on Thursday.

'Capitalism will never fail, cos it will always have Socialism to bail it out.' - Ralph Nader

Business/Tech News

Deficit, uninsured and unemployment at 7 year lows. Layoffs at 15 year low. Republicans vow to fix all that.- LOLGOP

One Of The Few Times Obama And The GOP Agree
House Republican leaders pushed toward a showdown vote Friday on President Barack Obama's trade agenda, despite heavy Democratic opposition....Rep. Mark Sanford, R-S.C., said he's inclined to support fast track mainly for the trade benefits to his home state. However, he said, "it's a tough vote for any conservative," including himself, because so many constituents deeply mistrust Obama and don't want him to receive any new authorities.

...Here in Los Angeles it rained. The people who are most excited about the rain are the local weather reporters. All year long they have nothing to do. But when the rain comes down, even a little bit, they spring into action like cheetahs onto a baby gazelle. - Jimmy Kimmel