All Hat No Cattle

In reversal, Trump says House Republicans should vote to release Epstein files

President Donald Trump said House Republicans should vote to release the files in the Jeffrey Epstein case, a startling reversal after previously fighting the proposal as a growing number of those in his own party supported it.

“We have nothing to hide, and it’s time to move on from this Democrat Hoax

Stacey Williams: “I was on a walk with Jeffrey and he said let’s stop in and see Donald in his office at Trump Tower. We walked in there and Trump proceeded to grope me right outside his office door. His hands were all over my body”

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

You know what’s way worse than living in America illegally? Raping kids and covering for people who rape kids. - Tim Hannan

Was That A Sigh Off Relief I Heard From Bill Clinton?
After an email in the Jeffrey Epstein files went viral for its reference to President Donald Trump "blowing Bubba," Jeffrey's brother Mark, is offering clarification about the message...“For the avoidance of doubt, the reference to ‘Bubba’ in this correspondence is not, in any way, a reference to former President Bill Clinton," Mark said in a statement to the outlet.

Pam Bondi Injures Self in Freak Paper Shredder Accident. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Marjorie Taylor Greene calling for an end to toxic fighting in politics is like Elon calling for a ban on ketamine. - Andy Borowitz

I Hope The Next President Sends Him A Bill

FBI Director Kash Patel’s girlfriend Alex Wilkins has been given a full FBI protection detail in an unprecedented use of the agency’s resources.

Wilkins, a country singer, has a security detail made up of elite FBI agents, MS Now first reported. These agents were previously assigned to a SWAT team in the FBI field office in Nashville, where Wilkins primarily resides.

Trump Accuses Immigrants of Sneaking into US and Putting Tariffs on Food. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Trump Vows Retribution Against Whoever Put Tariff on Coffee. - Andy Borowitz

This DOJ is Totally Inept And James Comey Thinks That Is A Good Thing...
A federal magistrate judge has ordered the Justice Department to turn over grand jury materials to former FBI Director James Comey as he fights criminal charges, pointing to possible government misconduct as reason to grant the unusual relief.

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Business/Tech News

I can't wait to add my imaginary tariff check to my imaginary DOGE check and buy all that imaginary $2.00 gas. - Brad

Oh No Illegals Are Bringing Diseased Cattle Into The USA!

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent made a bizarre claim on Sunday Morning Futures with Maria Bartiromo that proved to be a head-scratcher for some on social media...because of the mass immigration, a disease that had been — we’ve been rid of in North America made its way up through South America, you know, as these migrants brought some of their cattle with them. So part of the problem is we’ve had to shut the border to Mexican beef because of this disease called the screw worm...

Anyone have video of the caravan of South American cows heading to our southern border? - KellDA

books are so cool because there are NO F***ING ADS IN THEM. - bluewist

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Time To Deflate Photo

Pacific Coast Highway, Ventura County, CA. I fell in love with California in 1966 after seeing The Beach Boys in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Peace and quiet.