All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, September 23, 2025

‘What Is the Purpose?’ Trump Attacks the UN in Blistering Speech at the UN

‘What Is the Purpose?’ Trump Attacks the UN in Blistering Speech at the UN

President Trump ripped the United Nations as weak and unhelpful ingrates, and even questioned why the international organization exists, while addressing the UN

Ironically, I need Tylenol after listening to that self grandiose speech.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Here’s the Footage of Trump’s Run-in With the ‘Bad Escalator’ He Seethed About in UN Speech
Trump Declares He’s ‘Been Right About Everything’ In Fiery UN Address
'A Reversal of Reality': CNN's Daniel Dale Calls Out Barrage of False Claims from Trump's Marathon UN Speech
Trump says he believes Ukraine can regain all land lost to Russia since 2022 invasion
British officials fear Trump could recognise Israeli West Bank settlements

People should give more credit to Trump for stopping the war between Azerbaijan and Acetaminophen. - Andy Borowitz

Gaza City 2 Years Apart

Putin Probably Told Him To Say This...

President Trump said Tuesday that NATO countries should shoot down Russian aircraft that enter their airspace.

“Yes,” Trump told reporters when asked if NATO countries should shoot down Russian planes. The president made the remarks during a meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky at the United Nations (U.N.) General Assembly in New York City.

I asked my 10 year old son to define the word condescending.

He said, “Condescending. A con descending down the escalator at Trump Tower to announce he’s running for president. Condescending.” - Captain Obvious

“John McCain, for some reason, couldn’t get his arm up…”

- Years after the passing of Senator John McCain (R-AZ), Donald Trump continues to mock the injuries the former POW sustained while being tortured in Vietnam. (2024)

Republican Shenanigans

Charlie Kirk’s widow came onstage in a white pantsuit, accompanied by pyrotechnics, and hawked merch. We all grieve differently. - The Bucking Jenny

Detroit is misspelled.

Charlie Kirk said women in their early 30’s are “not at their prime” and “not as attractive in the dating pool.”

Utah Valley University to honor Charlie Kirk with a new male fraternity called Kappa Kappa Kappa. - William B.

Democratic Voters Should Wear Red Hats and/or a Red T-Shirt to the Polls. Problem Solved.

Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker (D) accused President Trump of deploying National Guard troops to American cities to ensure Republicans keep control of Congress in the 2026 midterm elections.

“It’s about his authoritarian need to control,” Pritzker told MSNBC Tuesday. “That whole endeavor is really about making sure that he can effectuate the rest of his agenda for the remaining two years of his four-year term.”

Charlie Kirk is gone and Jimmy Kimmel returns tonight.

The Rapture is working perfectly. - Captain Obvious

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Rock The Voter News

Pregnant Women Advised to Keep Children Safe by Moving to Canada. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Wants To Shut Down The Government Because There Will Be No Employees To Stop Him From Robbing Us Blind.

President Trump on Tuesday canceled a meeting with Democratic congressional leaders aimed at preventing a government shutdown, saying their demands were ridiculous and that no meeting could be productive.

The decision, unless it is reversed, means Trump will not meet with Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) on Thursday, and greatly increases the chance of a shutdown on Oct. 1.

RFK Jr. Blames Tylenol for Death of His Brain Worm. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

The cost of living keeps moving in the wrong direction.

The President’s answer? Declare war on Tylenol. -

Pete Buttigieg

GOP Setting The Stage To Arrest ANY Dissenters a.k.a. Democrats

Republicans on the House Homeland Security Committee are pressing several social media platforms about their handling of extremist content following the assassination of conservative influencer Charlie Kirk.

House Homeland Security Chair Andrew Garbarino (R-N.Y.) and Rep. August Pfluger (R-Texas), head of the subcommittee on counterterrorism and intelligence, sent letters to top executives at Discord, GitHub, Reddit and Twitch on Monday, requesting information about how they monitor extremist content and flag information for law enforcement.

If you think Tylenol is bad for children’s health what until you see what guns do. - Noel Casler

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Time To Deflate Photo

Hallerbos Forest in Halle, Belgium. My chihuahua, Taco, would love frolicking all over this place.

Peace.

Monday, September 22, 2025

Disney Bringing Back Jimmy Kimmel’s Show After Backlash

Disney Bringing Back Jimmy Kimmel’s Show After Backlash

The Walt Disney Company is bringing back Jimmy Kimmel's show, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the company announced Monday.

The ONLY reason Disney is bringing Kimmel back is because the American people stood up, called out the executives by name, Disney's stock plummeted and Disney lost a lot of money.

Get it?
That's the playbook for the next three years of Trump.

YOU must be LOUDER than him. - Don Winslow

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

They would do well to remember that the Nuremberg rally was followed by the Nuremberg trials. - Ellen Barkin

They Act Like The Mafia
President Trump’s designated “border czar” Tom Homan was recorded by the FBI taking a $50,000 bribe last year, but Trump’s Justice Department closed the case, according to multiple reports.

Border Czar Tom Homan Now Accepting Bribes Via PayPal. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Nobel Peace Prize Committee Asks Trump to Clarify Remarks About Hating His Enemies. - Andy Borowitz

NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW! Yeah, right.

The United States is considering imposing sanctions as soon as this week against the entire International Criminal Court, putting the court's day-to-day operations in jeopardy in retaliation for investigations of suspected Israeli war crimes.

Washington has already imposed targeted sanctions on several prosecutors and judges at the court, but naming the court itself in the sanctions list would be a major escalation.

No one gave a eulogy at Charlie Kirk’s “memorial”
They gave call to arms speeches
It was a hate rally. - William Bueker

Live your life in such a way that your spouse doesn’t sell fascist merch at your funeral. - Andy Borowitz

MAGA, the people that claim they voted for Trump because things were “too expensive” left behind so many chairs and coolers at the Charlie Kirk Memorial that ATF bomb squads had to investigate. - RightWingCope

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Rock The Voter News

Donald Trump just blamed the left for hate speech, while delivering a hate speech at the memorial for a man who said there was no such thing as hate speech. - JoJoFromJerz

Tylenol Probably Didn't Donate To Trump
President Donald Trump plans to announce Monday that using Tylenol during pregnancy could contribute to autism risk and will advise pregnant women only to use it, or generic acetaminophen, for high fevers, two senior administration officials told POLITICO.

Tylenol is going to sue the American government into f**king bankruptcy. - Mike Nellis

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Business/Tech News

ABC Hires Kash Patel to Host Late Night Comedy Show. - Andy Borowitz

Geez Louise, More Radioactive Shrimp!

Over 85,000 bags of shrimp are being recalled for potential contamination, marking the latest products to be impacted by a radioactive threat.

In a recall notice published Sunday, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration said three varieties of shrimp sold at Kroger stores in 31 states may be contaminated with cesium-137.

"Why are whites taking this? Why are we just sitting idly by and allowing corporate America to give all the jobs to nonwhite people"
- Charlie Kirk

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Friday, September 19, 2025

FCC commissioner: ‘We don’t have the authority’ to retaliate against broadcasters

FCC commissioner: ‘We don’t have the authority’ to retaliate against broadcasters

Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Commissioner Anna Gomez said Thursday that the independent regulatory agency does not “have the authority” to retaliate against broadcasters over what they choose to run on air.

Republicans keep proving that free speech isn’t free for everyone. That’s why I introduced the Free Speech Act of 2025 — to stop the FCC from being used as a political weapon and to protect the First Amendment. - Jasmine Crockett

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

If we’re going to have a “national day of remembrance,” as the Senate wants, let’s have it be for Virginia Giuffre—the child who worked at the Mar-a-Lago spa, was trafficked by Epstein and Maxwell, and raped by Prince Andrew and others, eventually committing suicide. #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles - Andy Borowitz

Since When Do Federal Authorities Protect A Private Citizen's Funeral?

Federal authorities are tracking “several threats of unknown credibility” against people planning to attend a Sunday memorial service in Arizona for Charlie Kirk, the conservative activist who was fatally shot last week in Utah.

If Trump starts jailing comedians my only request is that we get the kind of prison Ghislaine is getting. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Trump Calls for Star Trek to Be Removed from TV for Using Name Kirk in Vain. - Andy Borowitz

Yep, They're Still Trying To Kill Us
A federal vaccine advisory panel voted on Friday to recommend people talk with a clinician before getting a Covid vaccine, while voting against a motion to require prescriptions for the shot.

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Rock The Voter News

Rep. Melanie Stansbury: With the director of the FBI lying under oath in this chamber just yesterday. It is a felony to lie under oath… So if you want to talk about crime in DC, then look no further than your own damn hearings.

AOC: We should be clear about who Charlie Kirk was. A man who believed that the civil rights act that granted black Americans the right to vote was a mistake.

GO AOC!
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) explained why she voted "No" on the GOP-backed resolution honoring Charlie Kirk and condemning political violence.

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Business/Tech News

Don't expect corporations (lookin' at you, ABC) to behave morally. Corps care about one thing: profit$. If you want Jimmy Kimmel back, you gotta holler your head off. - Stephen King

Trump OKs Complete Destruction of Gaza
The Trump administration has told Congress it plans to sell nearly $6 billion in weapons to Israel, a fresh surge of support for the U.S. ally as it faces increasing isolation over its war in Gaza.

Just gonna start posting every night that Kay Graham published the second tranche of Pentagon Papers in the middle of an IPO, at the same time Nixon was threatening to pull her FCC licenses. - Caitlin Legacki

Having been dropped by a major media corporation 2 years ago, I can relate to what Jimmy Kimmel is going through. I can also say that since becoming independent, I have a bigger audience than ever before. It turns out people want to listen to uncensored voices. Oh, and f*ck Disney/ABC. - Andy Borowitz

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Time To Deflate Photo

Hamersley Gorge in Karijini National Park, Western Australia.

Peace.