Trump vows lawsuits against California redistricting, blue slips

Trump vows lawsuits against California redistricting, blue slips

President Trump during a winding press event Monday at the White House vowed to file lawsuits against California over its plan to redraw the state’s congressional lines and against the use of blue slips in the Senate.

Newsom isn't imitating Trump, he's mocking him. -  Molly Ploofkins

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• Trump says he could rename Department of Defense to Department of War soon
• ‘Please, Donald Trump’: Fox Host Begs Prez to Send National Guard to NY
• 'I'm not a dictator': Trump defends using National Guard for crime crackdown
• AP, Reuters and Al Jazeera Journalists Killed in Israeli Strike on Gaza Hospital
• Russia is ‘teetering on the brink of a recession’ and headed for a disastrous harvest, while Putin’s other top source of cash plunges

Russia bombed an American factory in Ukraine and Trump has been silent.

Such an alpha. - Adam Kinzinger

National Guard Refuses to Go to Chicago, Citing Bone Spurs. - Andy Borowitz

Will Noem Follow The Judge's Ruling or Nah?

A federal court judge has temporarily blocked Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s deportation to the African nation of Uganda.

Abrego Garcia surrendered to ICE Agents in Baltimore on Monday, where Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem said in an X post that the Maryland father of three was being processed for deportation.

Epstein survivor Sarah Ransome on Ghislaine Maxwell: “I have spent the last 17 years in my own prison for what she, Jeffrey, and all the co-conspirators did to me. I was raped three times a day. Ghislaine must die in prison.”

Republican Shenanigans

• Trump Threatens ‘Sloppy’ Chris Christie with ‘Bridgegate’ Probe After ABC Jab
• ‘Go To HELL!’ Trump Rages Over ‘BLUE SLIP’ Rule Blocking Alina Habba
• Jim Jordan Says Ghislaine Maxwell Interview ‘Confirms’ Trump Did Nothing Wrong
• JD Vance Mocked for Embarrassing WWII History Mistake
• Trump Apparently Has A New Bruise And Karoline Leavitt Has An Explanation
• Trump moves to ban flag burning despite Supreme Court ruling that Constitution allows it
• ‘This Is Garbage’: Conservatives Slam Trump Plan to Jail American Flag Burners
• Gorsuch and Kavanaugh warn lower court judges in Trump cases
• Trump Calls for Roger Clemens to Make Hall of Fame: No Proof He’s a ‘Druggie!’
• Wes Moore mocks Trump for saying governor called him ‘greatest president of my lifetime’

If you join ICE in 2025, then you 100% would have joined the German SS in 1935. - The Democratic Socialists

He Grabbed Him By The Bible
California governor Gavin Newsom escalated his trolling campaign against President Donald Trump by launching a tongue-in-cheek “Patriot” merchandise store, complete with mock listings of $100 “Holy Bibles” – signed by him – which he joked had sold out within hours.

“TRUMP IS A PEDOPHILE. HIS FAVORITE UNIVERSITY IS BRIGHAM YOUNG. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” - Gavin Newsom

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Rock The Voter News

• Dem lawmaker pours cold water on new Epstein file release
• FL Dem: DeSantis, Trump Want Human Rights Abused in ‘War on People of Color’
• Minnesota AG Brags About Suing Trump: ‘And We’ll Sue Him 44 More’ Times!
• Colorado Democrats move to protect SNAP benefits and Planned Parenthood care

If you take all of Ghislaine’s interview at face value Epstein was basically running a convent.  - Andy Borowitz

Who Hasn't Trump Hurt With His Executive Orders? The Wealthy, That's Who.
President Donald Trump signed executive orders Monday aimed at eliminating cashless bail for suspects arrested in Washington, D.C., and in other jurisdictions around the nation with similar policies, according to fact sheets describing the executive orders that the White House provided to NBC News.

So burning the flag gets you a year in jail but if you beat officers with the flagpole you get a presidential pardon??? - Covie

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Business/Tech News

• Biden ‘Never Nationalized Companies’: Wall Street Journal Drags Trump
• Trump Demands ‘Biased’ ABC, NBC Should Have Licenses ‘Revoked’: ‘Absolute Worst’
• Los Angeles area unemployment claims surged following January wildfires: Report
• Former Treasury Secretary says attacks on Fed Governor Lisa Cook should be 'chilling' for Americans

"I cannot fathom living my life in such a way that leads me to have strong feelings about the Cracker Barrel logo"

– @MaryKatBow

Hurricane, Floods, Wildfires, Tornadoes? You Are On Your Own, Fellow Americans
More than 180 current and former employees of the Federal Emergency Management Agency published a letter Monday warning that debilitating cuts to the agency charged with handling federal disaster response risks a catastrophe like the one seen after Hurricane Katrina.

Did Donald Trump, the President of the United States, lie about an injury to dodge the Vietnam draft? - Gov. Wes Moore

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Odd News

• Study finds sea-level projections from the 1990s were spot on
• Dark matter could create black holes that devour exoplanets from within
• Deadliest Animal in Australia Revealed, And It's a Big Surprise
• Man buys 162 tickets for one lottery drawing, wins $811,000
• Spain celebrates 80 years of ‘Tomatina.’

Time To Deflate Photo

Pirate Hoodoo near Page, Arizona. Mother Nature has a charming sense of humor.

Peace.

FBI searches home of Trump adviser-turned-critic John Bolton

FBI searches home of Trump adviser-turned-critic John Bolton

The FBI has been searching the home and office of Donald Trump's former national security adviser, John Bolton. Bolton has become a vocal...

One of the most unforgivable things Trump has done is made me side with John Bolton. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• Trump says Putin may attend North America’s FIFA World Cup
• Putin is ‘laughing’ after Trump’s peace efforts, says EU’s top diplomat
• Famine declared in Gaza City; Israel vows military takeover if Hamas doesn't agree to ceasefire terms
• Famine in Gaza declared despite Israeli denials as UN calls it ‘moment of collective shame for world’
• North Carolina man posts sign urging Trump to deport his neighbors
• ‘Could deport 30K monthly’: Noem pushes for ICE fleet of deportation planes 
• Trump: ‘African-American,’ ‘Beautiful Ladies’ Begging Me for Chicago Crackdown

Omg. Trump just said he could launch an investigation into someone because he’s the “Chief Law Enforcement Officer” of the nation. 

And the press just sat there—no correction, no follow up. WTF are we even doing? - Chris D. Jackson

It’s Bolton today, you tomorrow. - Rachel Bitecofer

Trump Plans To Crackdown on Chicago. This Won't Go Well.

President Trump said Friday the federal government would turn its attention to Chicago next to try to crack down on crime after surging law enforcement and deploying the National Guard in Washington, D.C.

“After we do this, we’ll go to another location, and we’ll make it safe also,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office.

Really the simplest way to get the Epstein files released is to somehow get them to Hegseth. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• ‘Naked Abuse of Power’: Trump Blasted for Threat to Punish Colorado to Help Ally
• Prince Andrew Book Removes Claim About Melania Trump and Jeffrey Epstein After First Lady Threatened $1B Lawsuit to Hunter Biden
• Lawyer Blasts Melania Trump's Threatened $1Billion Defamation Lawsuit Against Hunter Biden As 'So Ridiculously High' and Predicts 'Tough Road' Ahead
• Trump Likens Himself to Richard Nixon
• Secret gay sex scandal explodes in Republican Party as 'closeted' congressman who's engaged to a woman is accused of sordid double life
• Republican Reminisces Giving ‘Life To Christ’ in Cracker Barrel Parking Lot

The President of the United States just threatened the Mayor of Washington, D.C. in a social media post "stop" or "bad things will happen" and the press barely reports it. We must stop normalizing this insane and dangerous behavior and call it out. - Don Winslow

US Visa Holders" BEWARE!
President Donald Trump’s State Department told the Associated Press on Thursday that it is reviewing all 55 million foreign visa holders in the United States for potential “revocation or deportable violations of immigration rules.” The State Department made the revelation in a written answer to a query from the news outlet’s Matthew Lee.

Melania Threatens War With Canada Unless Justin Trudeau Stops Dating Katy Perry. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

• Democrats are pushing back against crackdown on sanctuary cities
• Michigan Democrats propose law to fight Trump’s ‘unlawful’ National Guard deployments
• Obama-Appointed Judge Orders Alligator Alcatraz To Shut Down Within 60 Days

Trump is not a Republican or a Democrat. He’s an ‘invasive species.

~ Gavin Newsom

That was one of the most batsh*t press conferences of Trump's public life. He brandished a photo of Putin and promised to deploy the US military to occupy Chicago, New York, and San Francisco. A sane country would be moving toward impeachment and removal right now. - Aaron Rupar

Epstein Files Released. Doctored Or Undoctored?

The Department of Justice (DOJ) turned over the first batch of documents related to the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee on Friday, in response to a subpoena from the panel seeking the full “Epstein Files.”

Separately, the DOJ also released a transcript of the interview that Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche conducted last month with Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell.

Gavin Newsom’s tweets are awesome.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. - Stephen King

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Business/Tech News

• Fed Chair Powell Says Impact of Tariffs ‘Clearly Visible’ as Higher Prices Loom
• Trump says Intel has agreed to give US 10 percent stake
• Nvidia in ‘dialogue’ with US government on next-gen chip sales to China
• US oil and gas air pollution is causing unequal health impacts: Study
• Cracker Barrel loses almost $100M in value after divisive logo

MAGA: Let's gerrymander in Texas!

CALIFORNIA: We can do it, too!

MAGA: That's cheating! - Alex Cole

Is Jerome Powell Teasing Us or Trump?
Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell on Friday gave a tepid indication of possible interest rate cuts ahead as he noted a high level of uncertainty that is making the job difficult for monetary policymakers.

Trump demanded that the Smithsonian be renamed The Hall Of Straight White Male American Greatness but when he got there it was filled with portraits and statues of Gavin Newsom. - Paul Rudnick

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Odd News

• 'Brightest of all time': James Webb telescope pinpoints origin of brightest flash of radio light ever detected
• Another US military mini shuttle launches on a secret mission
• Retired doctor discovers new dinosaur species deep in a museum archive
• Mexican festival's taco serving breaks three world records
• Oldest living person celebrates 116th birthday in Britain

Time To Deflate Photo

My daughter took this photo at the break of dawn this morning a couple hundred yards from my casita. It is pure Guanacaste, Costa Rica.

Peace.

California Democrats Advance Plan to Cut Out GOP House Seats in Retaliation

California Democrats Advance Plan to Cut Out GOP House Seats in Retaliation
The California Assembly moved on Thursday to start the process to redraw the state’s Congressional districts in retaliation for Texas Republicans gerrymandering their state to try and net five additional House seats – at the behest of President Donald Trump. The state legislature passed the first of three bills that will try and redraw California’s districts to more favor Democrats.

The funniest thing about Gavin Newsom's online trolling is that, until now, trumpers looked at trump's ridiculous tweets and thought they were awesome, "make libs cry, yay," and his moronic "trump-as-Superman" memes and said "ooh, MAGA," until Newsom showed them how STUPID they look. 

And now they're all "Oh, he's copying, not funny."

It's truly hilarious.

Keep it going. - mmpadellan

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• Trump Says He’s Planning To Go Out On Patrol In DC With the Military
• The Largest Immigrant Detention Center in The U.S. Has Opened.
• $50,000 bonuses, reduced age minimums and Superman: How ICE will fill its ranks
• Top Trump DOJ Official Deletes Photo of His Apparent Meeting With Jan. 6 Rioter
• Leaked IDF Intelligence Reveals ‘Extreme Rate of Slaughter’ of Gaza Civilians
• Israel says 1st stages of assault have begun as Palestinians flee Gaza City
• Treasury Secretary Compares Trump-Putin Meeting To Showing Off ‘Gun Case’ To ‘Uncontrollable Neighbor’
• Exclusive-Putin's demand to Ukraine: give up Donbas, no NATO and no Western troops, sources say

The Ukrainian people ask you to stand strong with them, just as you have stood strong in your refusal to release the Epstein files. - Andy Borowitz

Not everything is a “distraction.”

Sometimes they are just doing evil sh*t. - John Collins

Putin Gives Trump Shoutout By Bombing American Factory In Ukraine

Russia targeted Ukraine overnight with 574 drones and 40 missiles, the Ukrainian Air Force said. Most of the weapons were intercepted by Ukraine's air defenses, but the massive assault was far from unusual, and officials said at least one person was killed and 15 injured.

Ukrainian officials said the Russian attack hit energy infrastructure, private homes, an American electronics factory.

Noem Proposes Plastic Surgery to Make ICE Agents as Unrecognizable as Her.  - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• Texas approves new electoral map favouring Republicans
• Bondi Has ‘Won the Power Struggle’ Over Bongino — Who’s Likely to Exit: CNN
• Alina Habba ‘Unlawfully’ Serving As NJ’s Top Federal Prosecutor, Judge Rules
• White House Rages at Rocker Who Dissed Trump’s ‘Vulgar’ Oval Office
• People Seriously Can't Believe Trump's Latest Statement About No Elections In 2028
• Fatal Florida crash fuels immigration fight between DeSantis and Newsom
• Federal judge blocks parts of Mississippi ban on DEI in public schools
• Mississippi Supreme Court map violates Voting Rights Act, judge rules
• Karoline Leavitt Ripped for ‘Making Up Trump Resolving Fake Wars’
• FACT FOCUS: A look at RFK Jr.'s misleading claims on US dietary guidelines and Froot Loops
• Former Trump Aide Makes Dire Warning About President’s ‘Secret Blacklist’

BREAKING: Texas Republicans just passed their racially gerrymandered map in an 88-52 vote.

California, you know the assignment. LET'S GO.

Here's A Gut Punch

President Donald Trump celebrated his “TOTAL VICTORY” in the New York fraud case that originally saw him ordered to pay hundreds of millions of dollars in penalties on Thursday.

Last year, Trump was ordered to pay $354 million after Judge Arthur Engoron determined he had committed fraud by overstating his own wealth to lenders and insurers. By this year, that figure had increased to $515 million with interest.

But on Thursday, a New York appeals court found that the imposed monetary penalty was “excessive” and threw it out. 

Texas Gives People More Reasons Never to Go to Texas.  - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

• California legislature poised to vote on redistricting plan in response to Texas gerrymandering
• New generation of Democrats entering the 2026 midterm races
• Senate Democrat Addresses Deepfake Video of Her Talking About ‘Ugly’ Democrats and Sydney Sweeney’s ‘Perfect T*tties’

We've had to deal with Trump's retarded tweets and demeanor for 10 years. Gavin does it for 2 weeks and conservatives have already lost their minds. - TheOmniLiberal

Bondi Is Working Overtime. Good Luck With That. LOL.
A new federal filing alleges that three executives from the voting technology company Smartmatic carried out a scheme in which they overbilled L.A. County during the 2020 election to create a slush fund for bribing government officials.

Oval Office Doorway Widened to Accommodate Trump’s Cankles. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

• Russia expects India to keep buying its oil and seeks China-India-Russia talks
• Infamous Newsom X Account Trolls Cracker Barrel as Logo Change Sparks Stock Drop
• Walmart to Increase Prices ‘On a Week-to-Week Basis’ Due to Trump Tariffs: Rpt
• President Chaves Downplays Costa Rica’s Security Crisis Amid Record Homicides

CANKLE ALERT!

Donald Trump has lashed out at MSNBC after the network suggested the 79-year-old president is taking steps to hide his cankles from public view...“MSNBC IS DOING SO POORLY IN THE RATINGS THAT THEY ARE LOOKING TO CHANGE THEIR NAME IN ORDER TO GET AWAY FROM THE STENCH OF THEIR FAKE NEWS PRODUCT,” Trump stormed.

Remember the good old days, when we all knew that Nazis, slaveowners, and sexual predators were the bad guys? - Bryan Behar

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Odd News

• Astronomers discover strange new type of supernova: 'This is the first time we have seen a star that was essentially stripped to the bone'
• 140,000-year-old fossil rewrites tale of Neanderthal-earliest human interbreeding
• A 'black moon' will appear in the sky this weekend, but you won't see it.
• Canadian politician puts on 330 neck ties to break world record
• Florida Woman Arrested For Operating Illegal Dental Practice In Pinellas Park

Time To Deflate Photo

Iguazu falls in Argentina is way bigger than Niagra Falls.

Peace.