FBI searches home of Trump adviser-turned-critic John Bolton

FBI searches home of Trump adviser-turned-critic John Bolton

The FBI has been searching the home and office of Donald Trump's former national security adviser, John Bolton. Bolton has become a vocal...

One of the most unforgivable things Trump has done is made me side with John Bolton. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• Trump says Putin may attend North America’s FIFA World Cup
• Putin is ‘laughing’ after Trump’s peace efforts, says EU’s top diplomat
• Famine declared in Gaza City; Israel vows military takeover if Hamas doesn't agree to ceasefire terms
• Famine in Gaza declared despite Israeli denials as UN calls it ‘moment of collective shame for world’
• North Carolina man posts sign urging Trump to deport his neighbors
• ‘Could deport 30K monthly’: Noem pushes for ICE fleet of deportation planes 
• Trump: ‘African-American,’ ‘Beautiful Ladies’ Begging Me for Chicago Crackdown

Omg. Trump just said he could launch an investigation into someone because he’s the “Chief Law Enforcement Officer” of the nation. 

And the press just sat there—no correction, no follow up. WTF are we even doing? - Chris D. Jackson

It’s Bolton today, you tomorrow. - Rachel Bitecofer

Trump Plans To Crackdown on Chicago. This Won't Go Well.

President Trump said Friday the federal government would turn its attention to Chicago next to try to crack down on crime after surging law enforcement and deploying the National Guard in Washington, D.C.

“After we do this, we’ll go to another location, and we’ll make it safe also,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office.

Really the simplest way to get the Epstein files released is to somehow get them to Hegseth. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• ‘Naked Abuse of Power’: Trump Blasted for Threat to Punish Colorado to Help Ally
• Prince Andrew Book Removes Claim About Melania Trump and Jeffrey Epstein After First Lady Threatened $1B Lawsuit to Hunter Biden
• Lawyer Blasts Melania Trump's Threatened $1Billion Defamation Lawsuit Against Hunter Biden As 'So Ridiculously High' and Predicts 'Tough Road' Ahead
• Trump Likens Himself to Richard Nixon
• Secret gay sex scandal explodes in Republican Party as 'closeted' congressman who's engaged to a woman is accused of sordid double life
• Republican Reminisces Giving ‘Life To Christ’ in Cracker Barrel Parking Lot

The President of the United States just threatened the Mayor of Washington, D.C. in a social media post "stop" or "bad things will happen" and the press barely reports it. We must stop normalizing this insane and dangerous behavior and call it out. - Don Winslow

US Visa Holders" BEWARE!
President Donald Trump’s State Department told the Associated Press on Thursday that it is reviewing all 55 million foreign visa holders in the United States for potential “revocation or deportable violations of immigration rules.” The State Department made the revelation in a written answer to a query from the news outlet’s Matthew Lee.

Melania Threatens War With Canada Unless Justin Trudeau Stops Dating Katy Perry. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

• Democrats are pushing back against crackdown on sanctuary cities
• Michigan Democrats propose law to fight Trump’s ‘unlawful’ National Guard deployments
• Obama-Appointed Judge Orders Alligator Alcatraz To Shut Down Within 60 Days

Trump is not a Republican or a Democrat. He’s an ‘invasive species.

~ Gavin Newsom

That was one of the most batsh*t press conferences of Trump's public life. He brandished a photo of Putin and promised to deploy the US military to occupy Chicago, New York, and San Francisco. A sane country would be moving toward impeachment and removal right now. - Aaron Rupar

Epstein Files Released. Doctored Or Undoctored?

The Department of Justice (DOJ) turned over the first batch of documents related to the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee on Friday, in response to a subpoena from the panel seeking the full “Epstein Files.”

Separately, the DOJ also released a transcript of the interview that Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche conducted last month with Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell.

Gavin Newsom’s tweets are awesome.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. - Stephen King

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Business/Tech News

• Fed Chair Powell Says Impact of Tariffs ‘Clearly Visible’ as Higher Prices Loom
• Trump says Intel has agreed to give US 10 percent stake
• Nvidia in ‘dialogue’ with US government on next-gen chip sales to China
• US oil and gas air pollution is causing unequal health impacts: Study
• Cracker Barrel loses almost $100M in value after divisive logo

MAGA: Let's gerrymander in Texas!

CALIFORNIA: We can do it, too!

MAGA: That's cheating! - Alex Cole

Is Jerome Powell Teasing Us or Trump?
Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell on Friday gave a tepid indication of possible interest rate cuts ahead as he noted a high level of uncertainty that is making the job difficult for monetary policymakers.

Trump demanded that the Smithsonian be renamed The Hall Of Straight White Male American Greatness but when he got there it was filled with portraits and statues of Gavin Newsom. - Paul Rudnick

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Odd News

• 'Brightest of all time': James Webb telescope pinpoints origin of brightest flash of radio light ever detected
• Another US military mini shuttle launches on a secret mission
• Retired doctor discovers new dinosaur species deep in a museum archive
• Mexican festival's taco serving breaks three world records
• Oldest living person celebrates 116th birthday in Britain

Time To Deflate Photo

My daughter took this photo at the break of dawn this morning a couple hundred yards from my casita. It is pure Guanacaste, Costa Rica.

Peace.

California Democrats Advance Plan to Cut Out GOP House Seats in Retaliation

California Democrats Advance Plan to Cut Out GOP House Seats in Retaliation
The California Assembly moved on Thursday to start the process to redraw the state’s Congressional districts in retaliation for Texas Republicans gerrymandering their state to try and net five additional House seats – at the behest of President Donald Trump. The state legislature passed the first of three bills that will try and redraw California’s districts to more favor Democrats.

The funniest thing about Gavin Newsom's online trolling is that, until now, trumpers looked at trump's ridiculous tweets and thought they were awesome, "make libs cry, yay," and his moronic "trump-as-Superman" memes and said "ooh, MAGA," until Newsom showed them how STUPID they look. 

And now they're all "Oh, he's copying, not funny."

It's truly hilarious.

Keep it going. - mmpadellan

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• Trump Says He’s Planning To Go Out On Patrol In DC With the Military
• The Largest Immigrant Detention Center in The U.S. Has Opened.
• $50,000 bonuses, reduced age minimums and Superman: How ICE will fill its ranks
• Top Trump DOJ Official Deletes Photo of His Apparent Meeting With Jan. 6 Rioter
• Leaked IDF Intelligence Reveals ‘Extreme Rate of Slaughter’ of Gaza Civilians
• Israel says 1st stages of assault have begun as Palestinians flee Gaza City
• Treasury Secretary Compares Trump-Putin Meeting To Showing Off ‘Gun Case’ To ‘Uncontrollable Neighbor’
• Exclusive-Putin's demand to Ukraine: give up Donbas, no NATO and no Western troops, sources say

The Ukrainian people ask you to stand strong with them, just as you have stood strong in your refusal to release the Epstein files. - Andy Borowitz

Not everything is a “distraction.”

Sometimes they are just doing evil sh*t. - John Collins

Putin Gives Trump Shoutout By Bombing American Factory In Ukraine

Russia targeted Ukraine overnight with 574 drones and 40 missiles, the Ukrainian Air Force said. Most of the weapons were intercepted by Ukraine's air defenses, but the massive assault was far from unusual, and officials said at least one person was killed and 15 injured.

Ukrainian officials said the Russian attack hit energy infrastructure, private homes, an American electronics factory.

Noem Proposes Plastic Surgery to Make ICE Agents as Unrecognizable as Her.  - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• Texas approves new electoral map favouring Republicans
• Bondi Has ‘Won the Power Struggle’ Over Bongino — Who’s Likely to Exit: CNN
• Alina Habba ‘Unlawfully’ Serving As NJ’s Top Federal Prosecutor, Judge Rules
• White House Rages at Rocker Who Dissed Trump’s ‘Vulgar’ Oval Office
• People Seriously Can't Believe Trump's Latest Statement About No Elections In 2028
• Fatal Florida crash fuels immigration fight between DeSantis and Newsom
• Federal judge blocks parts of Mississippi ban on DEI in public schools
• Mississippi Supreme Court map violates Voting Rights Act, judge rules
• Karoline Leavitt Ripped for ‘Making Up Trump Resolving Fake Wars’
• FACT FOCUS: A look at RFK Jr.'s misleading claims on US dietary guidelines and Froot Loops
• Former Trump Aide Makes Dire Warning About President’s ‘Secret Blacklist’

BREAKING: Texas Republicans just passed their racially gerrymandered map in an 88-52 vote.

California, you know the assignment. LET'S GO.

Here's A Gut Punch

President Donald Trump celebrated his “TOTAL VICTORY” in the New York fraud case that originally saw him ordered to pay hundreds of millions of dollars in penalties on Thursday.

Last year, Trump was ordered to pay $354 million after Judge Arthur Engoron determined he had committed fraud by overstating his own wealth to lenders and insurers. By this year, that figure had increased to $515 million with interest.

But on Thursday, a New York appeals court found that the imposed monetary penalty was “excessive” and threw it out. 

Texas Gives People More Reasons Never to Go to Texas.  - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

• California legislature poised to vote on redistricting plan in response to Texas gerrymandering
• New generation of Democrats entering the 2026 midterm races
• Senate Democrat Addresses Deepfake Video of Her Talking About ‘Ugly’ Democrats and Sydney Sweeney’s ‘Perfect T*tties’

We've had to deal with Trump's retarded tweets and demeanor for 10 years. Gavin does it for 2 weeks and conservatives have already lost their minds. - TheOmniLiberal

Bondi Is Working Overtime. Good Luck With That. LOL.
A new federal filing alleges that three executives from the voting technology company Smartmatic carried out a scheme in which they overbilled L.A. County during the 2020 election to create a slush fund for bribing government officials.

Oval Office Doorway Widened to Accommodate Trump’s Cankles. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

• Russia expects India to keep buying its oil and seeks China-India-Russia talks
• Infamous Newsom X Account Trolls Cracker Barrel as Logo Change Sparks Stock Drop
• Walmart to Increase Prices ‘On a Week-to-Week Basis’ Due to Trump Tariffs: Rpt
• President Chaves Downplays Costa Rica’s Security Crisis Amid Record Homicides

CANKLE ALERT!

Donald Trump has lashed out at MSNBC after the network suggested the 79-year-old president is taking steps to hide his cankles from public view...“MSNBC IS DOING SO POORLY IN THE RATINGS THAT THEY ARE LOOKING TO CHANGE THEIR NAME IN ORDER TO GET AWAY FROM THE STENCH OF THEIR FAKE NEWS PRODUCT,” Trump stormed.

Remember the good old days, when we all knew that Nazis, slaveowners, and sexual predators were the bad guys? - Bryan Behar

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Odd News

• Astronomers discover strange new type of supernova: 'This is the first time we have seen a star that was essentially stripped to the bone'
• 140,000-year-old fossil rewrites tale of Neanderthal-earliest human interbreeding
• A 'black moon' will appear in the sky this weekend, but you won't see it.
• Canadian politician puts on 330 neck ties to break world record
• Florida Woman Arrested For Operating Illegal Dental Practice In Pinellas Park

Time To Deflate Photo

Iguazu falls in Argentina is way bigger than Niagra Falls.

Peace.

‘Diversion’: Trump Administration Nuked By Federal Judge in Ruling Denying Epstein Records Release

‘Diversion’: Trump Administration Nuked By Federal Judge in Ruling Denying Epstein Records Release

...In a blistering ruling Wednesday, U.S. District Court Judge Richard Berman struck down the requests to unseal grand jury transcripts and related exhibits — finding that eight of the nine factors that comprise the legal standard for the release of grand jury documents were not met, and favor continued sealing of the records.

There has never been a more hated "President" than Donald Trump. The troops in Wash DC are there to protect him because he fears the people will rise up. - Dean

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• Trump Calls Netanyahu a ‘War Hero’ and Adds: ‘I Guess I Am Too’
• Russia Demands Role in Guaranteeing Ukraine’s Postwar Security
• Vance speaks to National Guard in DC amid Trump police takeover
• Tim Dillon Calls Trump’s DC Crackdown ‘Everything Alex Jones’ Warned About
• Pentagon attacks Washington Post over report on Hegseth’s security costs

History teachers: "Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it."

Republicans: "We're counting on it." - Middle Age Riot

Purging The Intelligentsia of National Intelligence

Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard on Tuesday revoked the security clearances of dozens more government officials.

According to a report from The Associated Press, President Donald Trump’s administration officially revoked the clearance of 37 current and former officials. In a memo obtained by AP, Gabbard accused the officials of “politicization or weaponization of intelligence” to “advance personal or partisan goals.” Gabbard also claimed they failed to “adhere to professional analytic tradecraft standards,” though she did not cite any specific evidence to those accusations.

Budapest? Not everyone may remember this, but in 1994 Ukraine already got assurances of territorial integrity from the US, Russia and the UK. In Budapest. Maybe I’m superstitious, but this time I would try to find another place. - Donald Tusk

Republican Shenanigans

• Judge says Jeffrey Epstein grand jury records must remain sealed
• ‘Certainly Not!’ Joe Rogan Bludgeons Trump Claim That Epstein Story Is a ‘Hoax’
• ‘You Gonna F*** a Couch Buddy!?’ Vance and Hegseth Booed In DC’s Union Station
• Miller Rages at ‘Stupid White Hippies’ Protesting Trump’s DC Troop Deployment
• Trump Paved Over The Rose Garden, Added A Gold TV Remote, And Made 5 Other White House Changes
• Trump Shows Off White House Patio — With Umbrellas ‘Literally From Mar-a-Lago’
• Jonah Goldberg on Why He Left Fox News: Backing Trump ‘Requires You to Lie’
• Trump Wants to Paint Border Wall Black So It’s Too Hot to Touch

Fun Fact: Painting the entire 1,300-mile U.S.-Mexico border wall black could cost $2.72 BILLION. 

We are governed by the dumbest people in America. - TheMaineWonk

Damn, The Politicians From Alabama Are The Dumbest
Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.) on Tuesday criticized the NFL and the Minnesota Vikings over their inclusion of male cheerleaders...“I would like to ask the ownership of the NFL and the commissioner, what the hell are you doing?” Tuberville said on an episode of the podcast “Hot Mic,” aired by the conservative sports news site OutKick. “If you’re going to be woke and you’re going to try to, you know, take the men out of men’s sports is what they’re doing … then you’re going to have a huge problem.”

Trump has commanded all museums to eliminate any mentions of slavery, women's suffrage or LGBTQ lives. These institutions should just agree and then do nothing, because you'll never find a MAGA at a museum. You can also hide money from them in a library. - Paul Rudnick

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Rock The Voter News

• Newsom Reveals Moment He Decided Trolling Trump Was the Only Way to Fight Back: ‘I’ve Changed’
• Half of Americans say journalists ‘losing influence’ on society: study
• Poll: California Democrats like Gavin Newsom over Kamala Harris in 2028

The government privately interviewed Ghislaine Maxwell for 9 hours.

Right after, they quietly moved her to a low-security prison.

That was a month ago. Now? 

Still no transcript. Still no charges against any clients.

We are witnessing the biggest cover up in American history. - Micah Erfan

The White House just quietly axed its “director of digital content” after launching a TikTok page — only to watch it get swarmed with thousands of comments demanding Trump release the Epstein files. They wanted slick messaging. Instead, they got a digital jury screaming for receipts. - Brian Allen

Texas Republicans Want To Continue Tormenting This Woman

A Texas Democratic state lawmaker abruptly left a call with Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chair Ken Martin and other top party leaders on Wednesday after she was warned she was committing a felony.

“Sorry, I have to leave,” state Rep. Nicole Collier (D) said at one point in the call, interrupting Martin. “They said it’s a felony for me to do this. Apparently I can’t be on the floor or in a bathroom.”

Trump is mad that the Smithsonian is talking about "how bad slavery was." That's where we're at. - Brian Tyler Cohen

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Business/Tech News

• Trump says Fed governor Lisa Cook 'must resign'
• White House launches TikTok account with Trump saying 'I am your voice'
• Tech, chip stock sell-off continues as AI bubble fears mount
• How Kentucky bourbon went from boom to bust

We are so awful now we can't even agree on whether or not slavery is bad.

Or pedophilia.

Or treason. - Alex Cole

Shrimp Contaminated With Radiation? Oh, Yeah.

 The Food and Drug Administration is investigating radiation contamination reports in frozen shrimp products sold at Walmart.

According to a press release from the FDA, Cesium-137 (Cs-137) was detected by U.S. Customs & Border Protection in shipping containers that arrived at ports in Los Angeles, Houston, Miami, and Savannah. Samples found the presence of Cs-137 in a shipment of breaded shrimp.

A federal court has preliminarily blocked the Texas public school districts in our lawsuit from displaying the Ten Commandments in every classroom. - ACLU of Texas

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Odd News

• Abrupt Antarctic changes could have 'catastrophic consequences for generations to come,' experts warn
• Acting NASA administrator Sean Duffy says the agency will 'move aside' from climate sciences to focus on exploring moon and Mars
• Secretive X37-B space plane to test quantum navigation system — scientists hope it will one day replace GPS
• Croatian Freediver Shatters Record For Longest-Held Breath
• College ring dropped into the Long Island Sound found 56 years later

Time To Deflate Photo

Llareta grows in the Puna grasslands of the Andes in Peru, Bolivia, northern Chile and western Argentina at altitudes between 3,200 and 5,250 meters. Life finds a way.

Peace.