All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Gavin Newsom delivers scathing criticism of Trump: 'Democracy is under assault right before our eyes'

Gavin Newsom delivers scathing criticism of Trump: 'Democracy is under assault right before our eyes'

As the mayor of Los Angeles imposed a curfew after several days of protests against federal immigration policy, the Democratic governor addressed Californians in a statesmanlike tone.

DO NOT COME HERE FOR THE WORLD CUP

DO NOT COME HERE FOR THE OLYMPICS

WE HAVE A FOREIGN ASSET SITTING IN THE WHITE HOUSE & IT IS NOT SAFE FOR YOU BECAUSE IT'S NOT EVEN SAFE FOR US. - WTFGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Dear God. Soldiers at Fort Bragg booing the media, President Biden, Governor Newsom — anyone Trump targets.

This kind of partisan behavior in uniform used to be grounds for discipline. Now? It’ll probably be rewarded.

This isn’t just sick. It’s dangerous. - Chris D. Jackson

Increasingly Senile Trump Orders Space Force to LA. - Andy Borowitz

Costumes Is The Operative Word

President Donald Trump is acquiring thousands of military costumes to be used in Saturday’s massive parade celebrating the 250th anniversary of the United States Army.

Peter Rothpletz reported on Tuesday through Don Lemon’s show and Substack that the Trump administration is seeking to get approximately 2,000 historical military costumes, which will be used in Saturday’s parade in Washington, D.C. The massive parade also falls on Trump’s 79th birthday.

Trump Warns That Protesters at His Parade Will be Driven Home by Hegseth. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

If Trump wants to deploy the military, maybe he should ask the Navy SEALS to find Melania. - Andy Borowitz

What Will These Judges Decide? I'm Not Optimistic.
...The three-judge panel on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit must decide whether to open a path for Trump to attempt to throw out his conviction on 34 counts of falsifying business records by letting him advance his case in a federal forum, instead of New York state courts.

Remember, no matter what you’re going through in your life right now, at least you’re not in the same room as Stephen Miller. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Here are the two most under-reported numbers in the history of the media:

Donald Trump in his first term only deported 1.5 million

Joe Biden in his first term deported 4.4 million.

The fact that these confirmed numbers are not known by people is why Donald Trump was elected. - Don Winslow

FEMA Will Be Gone This November
President Donald Trump said Tuesday night he wants to phase out the Federal Emergency Management Agency at the end of this year's hurricane season and leave states more on their own in responding to natural disasters.

So, heavy rain is expected on Trump's Vanity Parade Day?

Let's hope for Biblical amounts of lightning. - Renee Libby

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Business/Tech News

Christy Walton, literal billionaire Walmart heir, just paid for a full-page NYT ad warning “No Kings” and calling America to mobilize. Do you know how bad things have to be when the class Trump caters to says “enough” and puts it in print? - Karly Kingsley

Well, Well, Well, Harvard Won After All
The U.S. State Department directed all U.S. missions abroad and consular sections to resume processing Harvard University student and exchange visitor visas after a federal judge in Boston last week temporarily blocked President Donald Trump’s ban on foreign students at the Ivy League institution.

LA has over 9,000 officers. They have a dozen helicopters. They have a SWAT team, a mounted police unit with 40 horses.

They can handle a protest of 300 people. You're being duped into believing it's a war-torn city under siege. It's not. - MagaCult2

I swear I am not making this up. Tonight Trump will go to the Kennedy Center to see “Les Miserables,” a play about a mass uprising against a tyrannical king. I hereby retire from satire. - Andy Borowitz

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Free At Last From Fundraising!

Thank you so much!

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Time To Deflate Photo

Geirangerfjord, Norway. No way would I sit there for under a million dollars.

Peace.

Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Trump Threatens ‘Very Big Force’ to Put Down Any Protests At His Military Parade

Trump Threatens ‘Very Big Force’ to Put Down Any Protests At His Military Parade

Trump threatened anyone planning to protest his June 14th military parade, which just happens to fall on his birthday, will be met with "very big force."

Trump's Use of Military on US Soil Motivates Jake Tapper to Write Another Book About How Old Biden Is. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

ICE Releases Gavin Newsom Beheading Video. - The Onion

They're Not Arresting Criminal Immigrants, They're Arresting Working Immigrants At Their Workplaces!

Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem deemed Los Angeles “a city of criminals” as protests continued on Monday night.

The latest demonstrations began when agents with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement carried out raids in the city’s garment district, seeking to arrest undocumented immigrants working in the area. ICE agents also conducted a sweep outside a Los Angeles Home Depot, looking to snatch up migrant laborers.

NEW: We are suing Donald Trump.

This is a manufactured crisis. He is creating fear and terror to take over a state militia and violate the U.S. constitution.

The illegal order he signed could allow him to send the military into ANY STATE HE WISHES.

Every governor -- red or blue -- should reject this outrageous overreach.

There’s a lot of hyperbole out there. This isn’t that.

This is an unmistakable step toward authoritarianism that threatens the foundation of our republic.

We cannot let it stand. - Governor Gavin Newsom

Republican Shenanigans

If Tom Homan arrests Gavin Newsom, he will basically guarantee that Newsom will be the next President of the United States.

Go for it, boys. - Devin Duke

DHS Blames President of Mexico For L.A. Protests

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem did not hold back as she accused Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum of inciting the violent protests that are gripping Los Angeles.

Speaking from the Oval Office with President Donald Trump Tuesday, Noem said she “condemns” Sheinbaum for stoking the protests that have battered several blocks in the City of Angels.

Jake Tapper spent yesterday yet again tweeting and retweeting attacks Joe Biden — at least four times.

How many times did he mention Trump? Zero.

He’s not a journalist. He’s a bitter hack with an agenda. - Chris D. Jackson

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Rock The Voter News

A lot of y’all would be snitching on Anne Frank and it shows. - HorrorGol

Well, ICE Has Shot Two Journalists And Counting...

A handful of First Amendment advocacy groups are raising concerns about the treatment of journalists covering the ongoing protests in Los Angeles over federal immigration enforcement in the area by police.

In a letter dated Tuesday and sent to the Department of Homeland Security, the First Amendment Coalition, Freedom of the Press Foundation and National Press Club wrote “to express alarm that federal officers may have violated the First Amendment rights of journalists covering recent protests and unrest related to immigration enforcement in the Los Angeles area.”

We heard for over 2yrs that "we can't breathe with masks on" & now ICE can't seem to function without one. - Brad

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Business/Tech News

Remember: Donald Trump is invading Los Angeles because he destroyed the economy and Elon called him a pedo.

He’s desperate for a distraction. - Isaiah Martin

ABC News Bows To Trump
ABC News is not renewing its contract with senior national correspondent Terry Moran after a controversial tweet, now deleted, in which he criticized Stephen Miller, a long time adviser to President Donald Trump.

I am not religious but I am so enthralled that this pope has decided to counter a war parade with a show of peace, beaming in to the White Sox's Rate Field. I can't wait for the Sermon on the Mound. - Elayne Boosler

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I literally threw today's edition together. A transformer blew out around noon and electricity was restored around 4pm. The heat was so awful. I am so spoiled by air conditioning!

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Monday, June 9, 2025

Trump Says His Border Czar Should Arrest California Governor Gavin Newsom

Trump Says His Border Czar Should Arrest California Governor Gavin Newsom

“I would do it if I was Tom, I think it's great. Gavin likes the publicity, but I think would be a great thing”

EVERYONE OUTSIDE OF AMERICA IS ASKING THEMSELVES THE SAME THING WHAT IN THE HOLY F**KING HELL HAPPENED TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. - Glenn Tunes

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Fun Fact: Every single person in the streets of Los Angeles today has 34 Felonies fewer than Donald Trump. - Alex Cole

Netanyahu Trying His Darndest To Be The Most Hated Jew In The World
Israeli forces have stopped a Gaza-bound, UK-flagged aid boat and detained a dozen activists, including Greta Thunberg, who were on board, enforcing a longstanding blockade of the Palestinian territory that has been tightened during the war with Hamas.

Trump deploying the National Guard for ICE protests but not for the January 6th insurrection sounds about white. - Taunt the Elephant

If Trump's goal was to deport "illegals" he would be in the fields and dairy farms of the Midwest and the ranches and construction sites of Texas and Florida not a Home Depot in downtown LA. This isn't about deportation. It's 100% about retribution. - Andie00471

Republican Shenanigans

This whole fiasco could make Gavin president. - Anthony Scaramucci

Drug Addict Disses Fellow Drug Addict

Donald Trump and Elon Musk’s friendship imploded well before the Tesla CEO fired off a series of (since deleted) scathing X posts last week, as the president told insiders that the former DOGE head was a “big-time drug addict” and felt that a physical fight with the treasury secretary was “too much,” the Washington Post reported Saturday.

Trump has cautioned insiders at the White House to be careful with Musk, telling JD Vance to “be cautious” when speaking of the fallout.

Remember how Elon said Trump was in the Epstein files but instead of releasing the files he released the military on Los Angeles? - Liam Nissan

Don’t give Trump what he wants. Stay calm. Stay peaceful. - Governor Gavin Newsom

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Rock The Voter News

“Tasted a little tear gas— tasted like fascism” -Californian

This is the most American statement I’ve ever heard. - Aes

Let's face it. Trump is terrorizing California because they didn't vote for him. - Devin Duke

ABC News Has Standards? Now, That's Funny!

ABC News said that it has suspended senior national correspondent Terry Moran over a late night X post, since deleted, attacking Trump administration official Stephen Miller as a “world class hater.”

“ABC News stands for objectivity and impartiality in its news coverage and does not condone subjective personal attacks on others,” a network spokesperson said. “The post does not reflect the views of ABC News and violated our standards — as a result, Terry Moran has been suspended pending further evaluation.”

Please explain to me the difference between what Terry Moran did and what Jake Tapper did. - Don Winslow

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Business/Tech News

If I wanted to distract people from the fact that I was bankrupting the world’s largest economy I might call up the National Guard too. - Andy Borowitz

Goodbye Rite Aid

More than 200 Rite Aid stores have been designated for closure as part of the retail pharmacy chain’s bankruptcy process, court documents filed last week show.

Two separate filings outlined the fifth and sixth rounds of closures, impacting more than 230 Rite Aid locations across 14 states.

I watched CNN this morning (I know, shoot me) and Wolf Blitzer asked the Mayor of Los Angeles what was wrong with having more boots on the ground. Dear God. CNN is just normalizing this dictatorship.

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Thank you!

Almost there!

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