All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Trump is creating a military within the military of white supremacists, who are loyal to him, not the Constitution

Trump Tells Allies He Wants Absolved War Criminals to Campaign for Him
If Donald Trump gets his wish, he’ll soon take the three convicted or accused war criminals he spared from consequence on the road as special guests in his re-election campaign, according to two sources who have heard Trump discuss their potential roles for the 2020 effort.

I'm expecting Erik Prince to be elevated to a 4 Star General any day now.

I see that the president of the United States of America is going to put the disgraced sailor on his re-election team. I guess he’ll pull William Calley out from the rock he now lives under. Will he bring the whole crew from Abu Ghraib, or just the officers? My only hope is that he won’t put them all on a reviewing stand and make the honorable men and women I know who are in the uniform of our country march by and salute them. - Jimmie von Tungeln

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

I want Trump to stand trial. But before that, I want him to perform the military service he deferred in 1968. - Andy Borowitz

Sen. Kennedy Backtracks on Ukraine
Sen. John N. Kennedy (R-La.) walked back on a comment he made Sunday supporting the debunked theory that Ukraine hacked the Democratic National Committee's emails in 2016.
"I was wrong," Kennedy said Monday night on CNN. "The only evidence I have, and I think it's overwhelming, is that it was Russia to tried to hack the DNC computer."

In Major Shakeup, One Of The Voices in Giuliani's Head Resigns. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Melania Trump is Eva Braun with Botox. - Middle Age Riot

"But Her Emails" Karma?
Thanks to a blunder, the Texas Republican Party’s 2020 election strategy has ended up in the hands of Texas Democrats, according to the The Dallas Morning News.
The document, titled “Primary/General Election 2020 [Draft],” began showing up in Democratic emails this Monday and included a list 12 statehouse districts that the GOP is targeting in 2020.

Oh please. Donald Trump is not “The Chosen One.” Does anyone think God is that stupid? Rick Perry, I guess, but any omniscient creator would never choose a bloviating, mendacious egomaniac who devours fast food and spews lies as our savior. That is, unless He truly despises us. - George Takei

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Trump today wondered why the 100th anniversary of woman’s suffrage wasn’t celebrated “a long time ago.” He then congratulated himself for getting it done.

Trump is not well. - Travis Allen

Rock The Voter News

When All Else Fails, Sue!
The House Oversight Committee is suing Attorney General William Barr and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross to enforce a subpoena for documents related to the 2020 Census — an indication that Democrats believe their hand against Trump administration stonewalling has been strengthened by recent court decisions.

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Schiff should subpoena Conan the Dog. Something tells me he’ll roll over. - Stephen Colbert

Business/Tech News

How about arresting Trump before Thanksgiving, and then having a turkey deny him a pardon? - Jesse Lifson

No, I Won't Make a Pecker Joke.
David Pecker, the head of the company that publishes the National Enquirer, has spoken with prosecutors with the New York district attorney's office as part of its investigation into the Trump Organization's handling of hush money payments to women who alleged affairs with President Donald Trump, sources with knowledge of the meeting tell CNN.

Thanksgiving remains one of my favorite holidays: the mild autumn weather, the elaborate meal, the family gathering, the long weekend with the kids, the people yelling at me that not wanting to confront loved ones over health care policy reflects thoughtless privilege, the gravy. - Popehat tweet

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Monday, November 25, 2019

Trump has been described as the “chosen one” by his secretary of energy, Rick Perry.

Trump has been described as the “chosen one” by his secretary of energy, Rick Perry.
In the preview of an interview shown on Fox News on Sunday night, the adviser, who has drawn scrutiny for his role in the Ukraine scandal, also compared the US president to a number of biblical kings.

Trump is more like Judas than Jesus

Rick Perry also said forcing troops to serve beside gay soldiers compromised their Christian values. While they're shooting people. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Why does donald trump always come down on the side of those who have not just broken the law, but sometimes broken it in unspeakable ways? How do you explain a mindset like that? CPO Gallagher is the latest of his pardoned criminals.The Navy is furious, and has every right to be. - Bette Midler

These pardons of war criminals have one effect and that is to undermine military discipline.Trump knows exactly what he is doing.
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley on Monday reportedly said the controversial case over a Navy SEAL that led to the resignation of Navy Secretary Richard Spencer is now "closed."
“I think at this point the secretary of defense has made decisions [and] the case is now, in my view, it is closed,” Milley told reporters, according to Reuters. His comments came a day after Defense Secretary Mark Esper asked for the resignation of Spencer.

And the military knuckles under as it must.

Those of you expecting the generals to stand up to Trump are in for a huge disappointment. They won't. They can't. It's not their job.

It's yours, Citizen. - Stonekettle

Eris, Greek Goddess of Chaos, Confirms She Wanted Trump to be President.- Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Trump didn’t make anyone racist. He didn’t brainwash people. His own racism just ran a black light over America and revealed a bunch of hidden white scum. - OhNoSheTwint

Giuliani Clams He Has Evidence Linking Biden to Obama. - Andy Borowitz

Giuliani's Ukrainian Pal Parnas Opens Pandora's Box
An associate to President Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani is prepared to testify that aides to Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) dropped a planned trip to Ukraine to obtain dirt on former Vice President Joe Biden in order to avoid alerting House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif.).
CNBC reported Sunday that Lev Parnas plans to tell committee members that aides to Nunes, the Intelligence Committee's ranking member, planned to meet with two Ukrainian prosecutors in an effort to obtain evidence to aid Trump's reelection bid, but abandoned the efforts once they realized that Schiff's staff would be alerted to the trip.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Says She Misses Lying To Jim Acosta. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Wait, you guys aren’t paying for Twitter? - Conan O'Brien

Supreme Court OK's Scientist To Sue Conservative Magazine
The Supreme Court decided Monday not to intervene in a defamation suit brought by prominent climate scientist Michael Mann against the National Review, a conservative magazine he sued in 2012 after it criticized him.
In an unsigned order, the high court allowed the case to continue in the lower courts. The National Review had asked the Supreme Court to throw out the case.

Bloomberg Offers Trump 10 Billion To Leave White House by The End of Day. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Are you telling me that the cheater who cheats on his wives and cheats on his taxes and cheats at business and cheats at golf and cheats the gullible and cheated in the 2016 election is trying to cheat in the 2020 election? where the f**k do you people come up with this stuff - Jeff Tiedrich

Trump Avoiding Oval Office.
President Donald Trump is increasingly morphing the White House residence into a second Oval. It’s become the place where Trump feels most productive, where he avoids meddling by his staff and where he speed-dials his network of confidants, GOP lawmakers and TV pundits.

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Hi folks. Can you spare a buck or two

for the

Friday, November 22, 2019

Intel officials told senators Russia wanted to pin election meddling on Ukraine

Intel officials told senators Russia wanted to pin election meddling on Ukraine
American intelligence officials have told senators and their staff in recent weeks that Russia conducted a years-long effort to point the finger at Ukraine for its own interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election.

I'm so old I remember when Russia had nuclear missiles, 90 miles from the US coast pointed at us. Everyone knew Russia was the enemy. How low we have sunk with the Russian Republicans.

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

I need one reporter to ask trump if he’s going to withhold aid from Israel over corruption. - Adam Parkhomenko

Putin Brags About New Weapon. Grab the Kids and Run!
Russian President Vladimir Putin has told the families of the scientists who were killed in a nuclear explosion in the country's Arctic north they were testing an "unparalleled" weapon.
There was much speculation about what caused the blast at a test facility in Nyonoksa in the Arkhangelsk region on August 8, which killed at least five people and sparked local fears about increased radiation levels and the secrecy surrounding the incident.
International experts believed the explosion involved the Burevestnik nuclear-powered intercontinental cruise missile, which NATO calls the SSC-X-9 Skyfall.

yes tell me how lifelong Republicans in the FBI plotted with Ukraine and Hillary to lose her own election so that Trump would win so that then the deep state could take him down while framing Russia for it and also something something Crowdstrike too because why the f*** not derp. - Jeff Tiedrich

Republican Shenanigans

Waiting for GOP to accuse Fiona Hill of being a British spy because she speaks with an English accent. - Asha Rangappa

Barr Blames Epstein Suicide on Screw Ups With a Straight Face
Attorney General William Barr said he initially had his own suspicions about financier Jeffrey Epstein’s death while behind bars at one of the most secure jails in America but came to conclude that his suicide was the result of “a perfect storm of screw-ups.”

The question is not whether Trump has committed impeachable crimes. He has.

The question is whether Republicans in Congress will affirm that an American president is not above the law. - Hillary Clinton

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Rock The Voter News

Next week, Roger Stone is going to sneak into the White House wearing a turkey costume in the hopes of a quick pardon. - Roland Scahill

The Mueller Report Returns
Now that the Ukraine hearings are over, Democrats want to hold at least one Mueller-related impeachment hearing on Trump's possible obstruction and perjury.

The kompromat they have on Lindsey Graham would singe your eyebrows off. - Jeff Tiedrich

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Business/Tech News

“Hello, my name is Devin Nunes; and I’m here to read an outraged monologue off this here piece of paper in front of the cameras so right-wing media can show their audiences a news clip from today’s hearing.” - John Fugelsang