All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, May 16, 2019

'Did you bring your handcuffs?' Attorney General Barr asks Speaker Pelosi

'Did you bring your handcuffs?' Attorney General Barr asks Speaker Pelosi
As the showdown between congressional Democrats and the Trump administration drags on, Attorney General William Barr and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi crossed paths at the U.S. Capitol for a few memorable moments on Wednesday, when Barr attempted to score a few political points at Pelosi's expense.

At the end of the story, Foxy Loxy cons Chicken Little and ends up eating him.

Totally hypothetical question: should a President go to prison if he has paid for an abortion? - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Maybe the only good thing that happened this week was a growing realization that the war on women, voter suppression and mass incarceration all feed off each other.

The problem is conservatives figured this out 40+ years ago. - LOLGOP

Trump Can't Fire This Critic
As the Trump administration draws up war plans against Iran over what it says are threats to US troops and interests, a senior British military official told reporters at the Pentagon on Tuesday that he saw no increased risk from Iran or allied militias in Iraq or Syria.

Only in America could abortions get banned faster than assault rifles. - George Takei

Republican Shenanigans

Woman Walking Alone At Night Picks Up Pace After Spotting Truck Full Of Alabama Lawmakers Slowly Following Her - The Onion

Farmers Got Screwed By Trump, Again. Not By China But By Bad Brazilian Bros!
The Trump administration has forked over more than $62 million — taxpayer cash that was supposed to be earmarked for struggling American farmers — to a massive meatpacking company owned by a couple of corrupt Brazilian brothers.

“There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." - Madeleine Albright

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I think Christian moms who abort their 14-year-old LGBT kids from their homes should go to prison for 99 years. - Ally Maynard tweet

Rock The Voter News

Grateful to Planned Parenthood for continuing to provide essential services in Alabama and elsewhere while helping to fight the state legislative bans on women’s human and constitutional rights. - Hillary Clinton tweet

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This is what for-profit healthcare looks like:
Every year in America, lack of insurance causes 45 000 deaths and 646 000 bankruptcies. Meanwhile, healthcare CEOs celebrate their record-breaking salaries.
No other developed country on Earth allows this. - Tuxedo Mask tweet

Business/Tech News

Pfizer Denies Encouraging Drug Abuse By Packaging Fentanyl With Cooking Spoon, Lighter - The Onion

Grifters Gonna Grift
As President Donald Trump resists Democrats' efforts to examine his business and tax records, a new personal financial disclosure report filed with the federal Office of Government Ethics and released Thursday shows how the president has continued raking in a steady stream of revenue from his global businesses since taking office.

Cutting back on my meat intake because what if God turns out to be a gigantic condescending vegan? - Conan O'Brien

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FABULOUS FUNDRAISER

I love my do-it-yourself projects. Thank you for helping!

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

U.S. abortion rights activists vow to challenge landmark Alabama ban

U.S. abortion rights activists vow to challenge landmark Alabama ban
U.S. abortion-rights activists vowed on Wednesday to challenge an Alabama bill that would ban abortions, even in cases of rape and incest, the latest attempt by conservatives to reverse a 1973 Supreme Court ruling establishing a woman's right to it.

Women are showing great restraint in not burning everything to the f*cking ground today and I don't know how they do it. - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Abortion isn't just legal in Israel, it's free. So all the anti-abortion #maga ppl praising Alabama & trying to kill #RoeVWade will probably start demanding we end all US aid to Israel, am I right? - John Fugelsang

Trump Carries On The Bush Tradition Of Messing Up The Middle East
The U.S. military put its forces in Iraq on high alert and the State Department ordered all non-emergency employees Wednesday to leave the country immediately amid escalating tensions with Iran. It comes as some U.S. allies have expressed skepticism about the Trump administration’s claims that Iran poses a growing threat.

Not only are we getting more ignorant as a nation, we are getting prouder about it. - Kenneth Bailey tweet

Republican Shenanigans

Evangelicals will protect the sanctity of life, regardless of how many women or doctors they have to execute. - Tea Pain tweet

So Many Conspiracies Theories Out There
Senior FBI officials were concerned then director James Comey would appear to be blackmailing then President-elect Trump – using tactics notoriously associated with J.Edgar Hoover – when he attended a fateful Jan. 6, 2017, meeting at which he informed the real estate magnate about allegations he had consorted with prostitutes in Moscow, according to Jim Baker, the bureau’s chief counsel at the time.

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Rock The Voter News

Kinda weird that all the pro-life movement does is kill women. - Kashana tweet

Surprise! Surprise!
In the president's first year in office, formal complaints that staffers were violating an 80-year-old law prohibiting them from political activity jumped.

Alabama rapists thank the state GOP for finally giving every one of them the option to pick the mother of their next child. - John Fugelsang

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Taliban Denounces Alabama Senate as Too Extreme - Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

PR Firm Advises U.S. To Cut Ties With Alabama - The Onion

Boeing Knew And Did Nothing
Just months before a second deadly crash of a Boeing 737 Max airplane, American Airlines pilots angrily confronted a Boeing official about a computerized anti-stall system that preliminary reports have now implicated in both deadly wrecks, audio obtained by CBS News reveals.

Maybe if we start calling it Unborn Baby Earth instead of Mother Earth republicans will be more concerned with its well-being. - OhNoSheTwint

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FABULOUS FUNDRAISER

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

CIA, FBI, Director of National Intelligence working with Attorney General Barr to review Russia probe origins

CIA, FBI, Director of National Intelligence working with Attorney General Barr to review Russia probe origins
Attorney General William Barr is working closely with the CIA to review the origins of the Russia investigation and surveillance issues surrounding Donald Trump's presidential campaign, according to a source familiar with the matter, broadening an effort that the President has long demanded to involve all major national security agencies.

Curious to see what turns out to be a bigger sh-tshow. The series finale of Game of Thrones or the series finale of the United States. - OhNoSheTwint

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Fighting with China to borrow from China to try to not bankrupt the farmers who market to China to own the libs. - Bruce Bacon

Trump Is Putting 120,000 Troops In Harm's Way
The top U.S. defense official has presented an updated military plan to President Donald Trump’s administration that envisions sending up to 120,000 troops to the Middle East should Iran attack American forces or accelerate work on nuclear weapons, the New York Times reported on Monday.

I like when the people who said Obama lacked experience defend Jared Kushner setting policy. - John Fugelsang

Republican Shenanigans

Trump's budget takes money away from Pell Grants to give to NASA, so now we can both land on the moon and have citizens so uneducated they think it's fake. - Nick Jack Pappas

Trump&Co Find New Ways To Be Cruel To Immigrants
On Friday, the Department of Housing and Urban Development officially published its proposed rule to evict undocumented immigrants from public housing. Tens of thousands of children with US citizenship or legal status could be displaced.
“The cruelty of Secretary Carson’s proposal is breathtaking,” Diane Yentel, President and CEO of the National Low Income Housing Coalition said in a statement. “The harm it would inflict on children, families and communities is severe.”

The only thing stupider than this trade war is the actual war that John Bolton wants. - Brian Schatz

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Rock The Voter News

Immigrants and refugees are not a problem that we need to handle, they are an asset to our nation and an essential part of the fabric of this country — our policies must reflect that. - Pete Buttigieg

Al Gore Warned Us
“We don’t know a planet like this...” Startling news from the well-respected Mauna Loa observatory in Hawaii: Carbon Dioxide levels have reached the highest they’ve been in human history.

Fox News is a hate-for-profit racket that gives a megaphone to racists and conspiracists—it’s designed to turn us against each other, risking life and death consequences, to provide cover for the corruption that’s rotting our government and hollowing out our middle class. - Elizabeth Warren

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Business/Tech News

How to get a Netflix special the hard way: do stand up for a decade

The easy way: be a serial killer. - Conan O'Brien

My My My. Mitch McConnell Lucked Out With Russia!
Russian aluminum giant Rusal spent most of last year under US sanctions. Now it's pumping $200 million into a new project in Kentucky.
Rusal, the largest producer of aluminum outside China, will help fund and supply a low-carbon aluminum rolling mill under construction in the eastern part of the state, parent company En+ Group said Sunday.

I own the Red Hen restaurant that asked Sarah Sanders to leave. Business is still good. Better than good, actually. And besides the boost to our area charities, our town’s hospitality and sales revenue have gone up, too. - Edward Fitzgerald

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Fabulous Fundraiser

Thursday, May 16, 2019

'Did you bring your handcuffs?' Attorney General Barr asks Speaker Pelosi

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

U.S. abortion rights activists vow to challenge landmark Alabama ban

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

CIA, FBI, Director of National Intelligence working with Attorney General Barr to review Russia probe origins

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