All Hat No Cattle

Monday, January 21, 2019

Martin Luther King, Jr. would've have been 90 years old

Pence slammed for quoting King to defend wall proposal
Vice President Mike Pence was harshly criticized on Sunday for quoting the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. in his most famous speech in defending

As we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the greatest tribute we can pay him is to heed his wisdom, honor his example, and emulate his actions. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy--for everyone. - Bill Clinton

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Kim Jong Un wants the penthouse of the future Trump Tower in Pyongyang, North Korea.

Putin reportedly Close To Firing Giuliani - Andy Borowitz

Methinks Giuliani Will Need A Lawyer Before All Is Said And Done
President Donald Trump told his lawyer Rudy Giuliani that he “may” have spoken to Michael Cohen before his Congressional testimony but doesn’t recall what was said.

I'm old enough to remember back when we had a government. - Rex Huppke

Republican Shenanigans

I shudder to think what Jesus would go through if he went to a Catholic high school. - TheTweetOfGod

Better To Apologize Than End Up In The Gulag
A Belarusian model and self-styled sex instructor who last year claimed to have evidence of Russian interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election said Saturday that she apologizes to a Russian tycoon for the claim and won't say more about the matter.

The Pelosi/Trump standoff reminds me of two spoiled children and Nancy Pelosi. - Conan O'Brien

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10 years ago today. The largest inaugural crowd in history.

Photo by Pete Souza

Rock The Voter News

Fox Accuses Buzzfeed of Inaccuracy With Straight Face - Andy Borowitz

The Democratic Presidential Primaries Will Kick Ass
Kamala Harris announced Monday that she is running for president in 2020, arguing that the time has come to fight against what she views as ...

Pelosi Says She'll Skip Trump And Deal Directly With Putin. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

As cool as it is to learn your Uber driver is also a Coast Guard Rear Admiral, we REALLY need to end this government shutdown. - Conan O'Brien

The value of these bricks will shoot through the roof after #Trump is institutionalized
President Trump’s 2020 reelection campaign sent out a fundraising email Friday asking for donations of $20.20 and pledging to send fake bricks to Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) or Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) over their refusal to provide Trump's demanded wall funding.

So the Rams and the Patriots are playing for hamberders at the White House. - Tony Posnanski

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Thank you all!

Friday, January 18, 2019

I wonder if Trump will resign or defect first

President Trump Directed His Attorney Michael Cohen To Lie To Congress About The Moscow Tower Project
President Donald Trump directed his longtime attorney Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about negotiations to build a Trump Tower in Moscow, according to two federal law enforcement officials involved in an investigation of the matter.

Interesting to note, is that this information comes from two federal law enforcement officials involved in "AN" investigation. Was it Mueller's people who leaked this info to Buzzfeed, or the Southern District of New York or...? Buzzfeed published the Steele Dossier while the New York Times passed on it.

It’s nice to wake up and learn that Donald Trump is f*cked. - Tony Posnanski

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

On the same day top North Korean nuclear negotiator Kim Yong Chol meets in Washington with US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and possibly President Trump, the Pentagon rolls out a new missile defense strategy that says Pyongyang poses an 'extraordinary threat.' - Will Ripley, CNN

It's Always The Cover Up That Nails These Guys
Former Attorney General Eric Holder called for impeachment proceedings to begin if a report from Buzzfeed News saying President Trump directed Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about plans to build a Trump Tower in Moscow during the 2016 presidential campaign are true.

Watergate is starting to look like something cute with a boopable nose. - goldengateblond tweet

Republican Shenanigans

I’m starting to think that the Space Force is part of Trump’s getaway plan. - Marie Connor

Mitch McConnell Wants To Play Musical Chairs
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has been urging Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to run for the Kansas Senate seat that will be left vacant by retiring Sen. Pat Roberts (R-KS) despite President Donald Trump’s strong objection.

Better President Pelosi than President Putin - Jeff Tiedrich

How odd that Karen Pence thinks Christ's teaching is all about sex
I must check the New Testament again. - John Cleese

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Pelosi’s office says her delegation tried to continue with Afghanistan trip by flying commercial but that Trump letter exposed the group and US troops to “danger” by disclosing the travel plans. - Jim Acosta, CNN

Rock The Voter News

The Gray Lady Has Some Mold
With the recent revelation that the FBI has long suspected Donald Trump of being a Russian puppet, Dean Baquet owes Liz Spayd an overdue apology.
In May 2017, Baquet, as New York Times executive editor, oversaw the elimination of the paper's public-editor position, effectively firing Spayd before her two-year term was up. As public editor, it was Spayd's job to act as an internal Times watchdog, answer reader questions, and address concerns about news coverage.
Why was Spayd pushed out?
In November 2016 and again in January 2017, Spayd wrote columns that criticized the paper's "timid" coverage of the Russia hacking scandal during the presidential campaign.

I can handle our enemies just fine. It's some of our so-called allies who keep me up at night. - driftglass

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Business/Tech News

We live in a world where Buzzfeed is breaking serious news stories, our president wants a space army and sleeps with porn stars, and one of our best hopes of getting to Mars is an eccentric billionaire embroiled in a financial lawsuit over Tweets he made while tripping balls. - Richard Jeter

Hey, Mr. Mueller, I'm Not A Lawyer But Is This Witness Intimidation?
President Donald Trump on Friday issued a new threat against the father-in-law of his former “fixer” over Twitter.

If prayer rugs flew, I’d convert. - John Aravosis

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Almost there! Thank you!

Thursday, January 17, 2019

So when do we start calling him, President Putin?

Donald Trump Personally Phoned ‘NYT’ Reporter To Defend Vladimir Putin Against Election Hacking Accusations
Following a meeting with Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump once picked up the phone to call a 'New York Times' reporter to make an extraordinary claim about the Russian strongman.

The simple truth is that Trump is now vastly overmatched by people vastly smarter and more knowledgeable than he is. He truly has no clue what to do. When your main advisers are your experience free daughter and son-in-law, you are truly alone. - Tony Schwartz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

It's always nice to remind yourself that Donald Trump thinks it's morally worse to deny him TV time than it is to starve 800,000 families or leave thousands to die in Puerto Rico.- LOLGOP

Guys, I’m starting to think Rudy Giuliani may be secretly working for Robert Mueller
Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s personal attorney, said that there could have been “collusion” between Trump’s presidential campaign and Russian officials, but if it did happen, Trump didn’t do it

Rudy Giuliani is the Grandpa Simpson of the Trump administration.- The USASingers tweet

If our government is "shut down," then how come the president's mic is still on?- Stephen Colbert

Republican Shenanigans

Lindsey Graham blackmailed by some salacious personal peccadillo is actually a more sympathetic explanation than he’s just an opportunistic toady. - Schooley tweet

Evangelical Poll Rigging
Michael Cohen paid the chief information officer for Jerry Falwell Jr.’s evangelical college to rig early polls in Donald Trump’s favor, according to a new report.

Paying someone from Liberty University cash in a bag to rig an online poll just reminds you that we're really not playing against the varsity here. - PopeHat tweet

For I was a stranger & you tear-gassed meI asked for asylum & you stole my children

I fled violence in my country from your drug war & you called me 'illegal'

But maybe the next time evangelicals vote they'll read the Gospels 1st instead of electing f*cking CaligulaAmen. - John Fugelsang

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Rock The Voter News

Thank god we took back the House… if you think the state of the union is in shambles now, just imagine the mess we’d be in if we didn’t. - William LeGate

Happy Birthday Michelle!

Here We Go Again. Hillary's Emails.
A federal judge has breathed new life into questions surrounding former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server and the 2012 attack that killed U.S. officials in Benghazi, Libya.
Judge Royce Lamberth ruled Tuesday that Obama administration officials, including national security adviser Susan Rice and deputy national security adviser Ben Rhodes, must answer written questions as part of a conservative judicial advocacy group's Freedom of Information Act lawsuit against the State Department over Clinton's emails.

Fact that Ken Starr, who flushed $70M running unhinged and incompetent Clinton witch hunt and then lost his Univ job after covering up campus sexual assault, is still perceived by NYT as a Very Serious Person says a lot about our broken political culture. - Eric Boehlert

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Business/Tech News

Marco Rubio said, "Are you ready for President Kamala Harris declaring a national emergency over climate change?" Marco, are you FLIRTING WITH ME?! - Bette Midler

Criminal Case Brought Against China
The U.S. Justice Department will pursue a criminal case against Chinese tech giant Huawei for alleged trade secrets theft, according to The Wall Street Journal.
The charges revolve around theft of trade secrets related to a robotic device called "Tappy" made by T-Mobile, which was used in testing smartphones, according to the report.

Within period of 72 hours, Nixon was inaugurated for second term, LBJ died, Roe v. Wade was decided, Vietnam War settlement was announced--all 46 years ago this coming week. - Michael Beschloss

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Thank you!