All Hat No Cattle

Bob Woodward’s new book just hit the Trump White House like a bomb
On Tuesday, leaks from veteran journalist Bob Woodward’s expose of the Trump presidency began to emerge. They paint a troubling picture, to put it lightly.

I wonder who will be the first person to resign or be fired.

It's too bad the Constitution doesn't have a provision to protect the country from such a maniac. Oh wait, it does: the 25th Amendment. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Remember when Colin Kaepernick had a fake adoption meeting with Russian officials to help influence an American election? - Roland Scahill

Trump Steps On ~~Dick~~ Tweet
CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin said Tuesday that President Trump's attacks against Attorney General Jeff Sessions over charges brought against two GOP lawmakers may be grounds for impeachment.
"This tweet alone may be an impeachable offense," Toobin said on CNN's "New Day." "This is such a disgrace. This is so contrary to the traditions of the Department of Justice (DOJ)."

Please, we must maintain decorum and proper order to ram through the Supreme Court pick of the rapist game show host before he’s indicted for a federal crime. - Jess Dweck

Somewhere in D.C. Robert Mueller kisses his wife goodbye and heads to work in his Air Jordans. - Andy Lassner

Republican Shenanigans

My first question to Kavanaugh would be, “Don’t you feel a little weird about being nominated by a moron?” - Andy Borowitz

KAVANAUGH? KAVANOT!
Despite a last-minute document dump, a visibly angry Charles Grassley lashed out at Democrats for demanding hearings for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh be delayed

Mitch McConnell handing the Merrick Garland SCOTUS seat to Trump was the shadiest gift in the history of stolen merchandise. - John Fugelsang

Trump should just nominate Judge Judy. Most Americans think she's on the Supreme Court anyway. - Marie Conner

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Rock The Voter News

All I am saying is I think Barack and Michelle Obama need to hold a Beto O’Rourke Rally featuring Jay Z and Beyoncé on the same day as Donald Trump’s Ted Cruz rally. -Tony Posnanski

“He’s an idiot. It’s pointless to try to convince him of anything. He’s gone off the rails. We’re in Crazytown. I don’t even know why any of us are here. This is the worst job I’ve ever had." - Trump's Chief of Staff, John Kelly on Trump, in Bob Woodward's new book

The Right Stuff

Several months after the US Supreme Court handed the presidency to George W Bush in 2000, I saw Bill Clinton give a speech on C-SPAN. The subject stressed the importance to keep the lines of communication open, especially with our adversaries, and to speak truth to power, but with respect. It was one of the finest speeches I ever saw Bill Clinton deliver. I sure needed to hear that speech at that awful time.

John McCain believed the same thing. I felt John McCain handed the presidency to Barack Obama when he defended him to that woman who called Obama an Arab (like that was something bad). John McCain didn't like dirty campaigning, torture or bashing immigrants. That is why today's Republicans hate John McCain.

McCain made mistakes, as we all do but he'd apologize for most of them -- Keating 5, the Iraq War, Sarah Palin and on and on. McCain never flew a direct route from DC to Arizona because after he introduced legislation to expand direct flights to Arizona, he was accused of doing it for his own convenience.

In almost 18 years online, I have questioned only one person's military career, and that was George W. Bush. His last 18 months in the Texas National Guard only had one record and that was for a dental appointment in Alabama. Somehow his records were gone. Gone. Dan Rather got fired for covering this disturbing fact.

The other day I saw an interview with Doris Kearns Goodwin, the historian. She relayed a story of Leo Tolstoy visiting Muslim barbarians in Asia who wanted to know of the great leaders of the world.

This is an excerpt from Tolstoy's 1909 article: But you have not told us a syllable about the greatest general and greatest ruler of the world. We want to know something about him. He was a hero. He spoke with a voice of thunder; he laughed like the sunrise and his deeds were strong as the rock and as sweet as the fragrance of roses...He was so great that he even forgave the crimes of his greatest enemies and shook brotherly hands with those who had plotted against his life. His name was Lincoln and the country in which he lived is called America.

Our greatest leaders were humble men because they believed they were serving something greater than themselves.

That was John McCain.

And is Bill Clinton.

And is Hillary Clinton.

And is Barack Obama.

We are truly fortunate to have such selflessness in our midst.

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I’m wiped out from watching two funerals for two icons in one day. But the fact that Donald Trump was invited to neither IS giving me hope. - Bette Midler

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Just walked up to Judge Kavanaugh as morning session ended. Put out my hand to introduce myself as Jaime Guttenberg's dad. He pulled his hand back, turned his back to me and walked away. I guess he did not want to deal with the reality of gun violence. - Fred Guttenberg, Parkland, FL, whose child was gunned down at school

Business/Tech News

Good morning. it's 2018 and racists are mad at a shoe.- Jeff Tiedrich

Nike is projecting to lose $12.43 over the right boycott of featuring Colin Kaepernick in the latest Nike ad. - Tony Posnanski

FEMA Sent Unqualified Workers To Puerto Rico
The Federal Emergency Management Agency was so overwhelmed with other storms by the time Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico last year that more than half of the workers it was deploying to disasters were known to be unqualified for the jobs they were doing in the field.

I bet the guy who named the Sperm Whale wasn't allowed to name things anymore after that.

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Aretha Franklin, John McCain and the 1960s
"Hope I die before I get old," the Who sang at Woodstock as the 1960s hurtled to their end. Indeed, the decade and its echoes made premature legends of so many — Kennedy to King, Hendrix to Joplin to Morrison. They became emblems of an era, and the packaging of their virtues and vices has never really stopped...That's the crossroads where both Aretha Franklin and John McCain stood — shaped by the decade that reshaped so much of American life but propelled into the 1970s and all the way to 2018

So we have Bill Clinton jamming at Aretha Franklin’s funeral, Bush/Obama at John McCain’s funeral, Carter probably saving the world, and Trump is going to a rally for himself because he needs affirmation for a 60% disapproval rating.

Remember this day.- Alt Dept of Labor tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

I'm sorry- when the McCain family requested that Trump not be at John McCain's Funeral
I dont think that Mike Pence should have even mentioned Trump's name.
Pence said :"He will be missed. As
President Trump said yesterday, we respect his service to the country"
Hypocritical. - Linda Rothwell

Pence Takes A Last Poke At McCain Saving Obamacare
Vice President Mike Pence said Thursday that Republicans plan to give another try to repealing and replacing ObamaCare if they do well enough in November’s elections.

Today would be a very good day for Mueller to drop an atomic f-cking bomb. - Jeff Tiedrich

If Trump died tomorrow, not one single living previous American president would attend his funeral.
That’s kind of glorious. - Roland Scahill

Republican Shenanigans

Let me simplify this for you Texas...
Beto O’Rourke- Was in a band
Ted Cruz- Campaigned for a man who called his wife ugly
Who would you rather have? - Tony Posnanski

Trump Has Been Firing People He Doesn't Like. I'm Surprised He Hasn't Hired A Hitman Like Putin.
A senior Justice Department lawyer says a former British spy told him at a breakfast meeting two years ago that Russian intelligence believed it had Donald Trump "over a barrel," according to multiple people familiar with the encounter.
The lawyer, Bruce Ohr, also says he learned that a Trump campaign aide had met with higher-level Russian officials than the aide had acknowledged, the people said.

Please, everyone, never call him “President Trump.” It only encourages him. - Andy Borowitz

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Today's celebration of Aretha Franklin's life was like the lady herself: Joyful, profound, and full of song. Thank you to everyone who performed, spoke in remembrance, and made it a send-off worthy of her. - Hillary Clinton

Rock The Voter News

Putin Sure Has A Lot Of Bagmen
A former Paul Manafort associate who pleaded guilty to a lobbying crime admitted that he helped foreign donors give money to President Donald Trump’s Inaugural Committee.
In a plea agreement made public Friday, prosecutors outlined other crimes that the lobbyist, Sam Patten, admitted to but wouldn’t be charged with. Among them was “causing foreign money” to be paid to the Trump inaugural committee. Patten signed off on the allegation.

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Business/Tech News

Remember, if you let your toddler spend too much time looking at screens they might grow up to be a completely normal American adult. - John Fugelsang