Jimmy Kimmel struggled to figure out why Melania Trump wore a jacket proclaiming, “I really don’t care.” He wondered: “Is the president now tweeting onto his wife’s clothes?”
Melania's jacket looks like something a sullen teenager would wear.
Americans Urge Melania to Go Back to Plagiarizing Michelle Obama. - Andy Borowitz
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- Trump: North Korea 'total denuclearization' started; officials see no new moves
- Chinese media says U.S. has 'delusions' as impact of trade war spreads
- Italian minister to rescue ship: Go 'to the Netherlands'
- Sara Netanyahu: Israeli PM's wife charged with fraud
Trump reversed course today and signed an order to stop separating immigrant kids from their families — and start detaining them together. You know 2018 is rough when people are going, "All right, families getting locked up in cages together! Yeah!”- Jimmy Fallon
Outside the American Embassy in Dublin, Ireland
Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) on Thursday said that Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen has privately told lawmakers that the Trump administration's family separation practice could resume despite the president signing an executive order to end the practice.
I don't know which is worse, Caged Kids or shooting someone on 5th Avenue.
Finally, Good News!
A Guatemalan immigrant who sued top Trump administration officials over her family's separation reunited with her son early Friday after a month apart.
Beata Mariana de Jesus Mejia-Mejia's 7-year-old son, Darwin, arrived at Baltimore Washington International Airport on a flight from Phoenix early Friday.
There is a better chain of custody for your weed after your arrest than there is for your kid when you are detained at the Border. - Alt-Immigration tweet
Republican Shenanigans
- Trump: Dems telling 'phony stories of sadness and grief'
- Key Democrat: Trump advisers 'lied through their teeth' when testifying about Russia contacts
- "Fox & Friends" host on family separation: "These are not our kids"
- Trump: ‘Republicans Should Stop Wasting Their Time On Immigration’
- EPA: Pruitt sent one email to an outside address in his first 10 months
- CNN's Cuomo confronts Lewandowski over 'womp womp' remark
- Protestors Outside Kirstjen Nielsen’s House Play Audio Of Detained Migrant Children
- In age of Trump, evangelicals back self-styled top U.S. pimp
I’ve been thinking about this jacket that FLOTUS was wearing and here’s the thing: Republicans are still trying to take away health coverage for people with pre-existing conditions. - Sen. Brian Schatz (D-HI)
Custom Agents Asked For Proof of Citizenship in Maine To Use Interstate
A checkpoint set up by U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents Wednesday on Interstate 95 led to the arrest of a fugitive Haitian immigrant who previously was ordered to be deported...The random checkpoint, which was in place for 11 hours...“If you want to continue down the road, then yes ma’am. We need to know what citizen — what country you’re a citizen of,” an agent said Wednesday evening to two BDN reporters who went through the checkpoint.
"To me, a faith in Jesus Christ that is not aligned with the poor...it's nothing."
— Bono
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Thank you, Donald J. Trump, for giving Democrats enough material in one week to assemble negative ads from now until the year 3000 - Andy Borowitz
Rock The Voter News
- AP poll: 85% think presidents shouldn’t pardon themselves
- Poll: 42 percent of Americans support impeaching Trump
- Hillary Clinton tells Dublin crowds we're at “a global tipping point”
Looming Latino Payback? Maybe They'll Rename Texas, Texico or Mexas?
Hispanic Texans are set to outnumber non-Hispanic whites in the Lone Star State as soon as 2022, according to new data released by the U.S. Census Bureau on Thursday.
To her credit, Melania did NOT wear her jacket that says, “SEE YA, WOULDN’T WANT TO BE YA” - Andy Borowitz
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Banks are starting to offer services through virtual assistants like Amazon Echo, which backfires when you ask Alexa for your account balance and she just starts laughing.- Jimmy Fallon
Business/Tech News
- Oil up over 2 percent as OPEC raises output modestly
- Trump threatens tariff on all European cars
- Tesla is preparing to close a dozen solar facilities in 9 states
- Supreme Court rules law enforcement needs warrant to search cellphone data
Trump’s strategy is simple. Get us to focus on the cruelty and overlook the corruption.- Tea Pain
The Trump administration feared it would be a “public relations nightmare”: a major federal study that concluded contaminated groundwater across the country, especially near military bases, was more toxic than the government realized. Political aides to President Donald Trump and Environmental Protection Agency head Scott Pruitt pressured the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry against releasing the results.
"Poverty exists not because we cannot feed the poor, but because we cannot satisfy the rich." - Anonymous
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