All Hat No Cattle

Monday, February 12, 2018

The power just returned

Ay yi yi yi.

The only thing worse than being without Internet is being without power. I will post a new edition tomorrow barring any more power problems.

Not to leave you empty handed here are a few memes.

The Smithsonian released Barack Obama's official portrait today.

Meanwhile, back at the Olympics in South Korea

And a shout out to Elon Musk

Peace.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Trump Inspires West Point Cadets

Sexual assault reports nearly double at West Point
The number of sexual assaults reported at the West Point military academy almost doubled during the 2016-2017 school year, according to the Pentagon's annual report on sexual assaults at the three military service academies. Fifty sexual assaults were reported this past year at West Point, compared to ...

Women aren't even safe with men that take an oath to protect their country. Sigh.

Friendly reminder that Trump, who claims to love our military, once said it was a bad idea to let women serve because men can’t help but rape them. - OhNoSheTwint

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

“People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power.” - Former President Bill Clinton

Tillerson: Trump is an idiot. Putin: Don't I know?

So Tillerson Thinks No Matter What US Cybersecurity Does, The Russians Are Going To Win.
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said Tuesday that Russia is already trying to influence the U.S. midterm election, warning that it will be difficult for the United States to "pre-empt" it..."I don't know that I would say we are better prepared, because the Russians will adapt, as well. The point is, if it's their intention to interfere, they are going to find ways to do that. We can take steps, but this is something that, once they decide they are going to do it, it's very difficult to pre-empt it."

The gif of the wind exposing Trump’s baldness reveals 2 things: 1. The intricate engineering feat of POTUS’ coif 2. The metaphor of Trump as the epitome of fraud. Feels like the expression “A fish stinks from the head” was coined specifically for him. - Rob Reiner

I'm So Old I Remember When A President Ignored His Daily Briefing About Planes Flying Into Skyscrapers
For much of the past year, President Trump has declined to participate in a practice followed by the past seven of his predecessors: He rarely if ever reads the President’s Daily Brief, a document that lays out the most pressing information collected by U.S. intelligence agencies from hot spots around the world.
Trump has opted to rely on an oral briefing of select intelligence issues in the Oval Office rather than getting the full written document delivered to review separately each day, according to three people familiar with his briefings.

After months of Fox News "bombshells" that promised to end the #TrumpRussia investigation and put Trump's enemies in jail, Hillary still walks the streets and Mueller still stalks Trump's dreams.- Tea Pain

From The Baptist Church Of Naked Baptists?

Republican Shenanigans

Sentence I never want to hear again: "This isn't the Republican Party I know." Sure it is. This is just what it looks like without makeup. - Mark Harris

Did I just spit on you?

According to "Fire and Fury", Steve Bannon gave Hopeless Hicks the best advice ever, "You better get yourself a lawyer"
Is Hope Hicks next on the chopping block?
As one of President Donald Trump’s closest aides, Hicks has had one of the longest tenures in the Trump White House. But the President has reportedly become increasingly exasperated with his communications director in recent days for her handling of the White House’s response to allegations of domestic abuse against former aide Rob Porter

If Trump didn't know Porter didn't have clearance, that means someone gave Porter classified material without him being cleared to see it and without Trump waiving that clearance. Isn't that illegal? - Rachel Maddow

Mike Pence Condemns Female Senators For Wantonly Sharing Senate Floor With Male Colleagues After Dark - The Onion

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Snowstorm In Chicago Delays Hundreds Of Morning Murders. - The Onion

Rock The Voter News

Double Snap Utah! School Renamed After First Black NASA Engineer
The Salt Lake City school board has voted to change the name of the city's oldest elementary school over an outcry about its namesake, former President Andrew Jackson...The school's name, Mary Jackson, now honors the first black female NASA engineer whose story was featured in the film “Hidden Figures.”

Shout out to every single person who voted for Hillary Clinton. You don't own this mess. - Molly

According to the official North Korean news agency, “Dear Leader’s mighty wind-resistant raven mane easily overmatches the American dotard’s sparse bleached strands.” - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Trump's bid to become Born-Again fails as Jesus turns down friend request - Andy Borowitz

Russia Catches Russian Hacker
Russia's Interfax News Agency reports that engineers at the All-Russian Research Institute of Experimental Physics (RFNC-VNIIEF)—the Russian Federation Nuclear Center facility where scientists designed the Soviet Union's first nuclear bomb—have been arrested for mining cryptocurrency with "office computing resources," according to a spokesperson for the Institute. "There has been an unsanctioned attempt to use computer facilities for private purposes including so-called mining," said Tatyana Zalesskaya, head of the Institute's press service.

This Week:
-The Dow fell 1,175 points
-Trump called Democrats "treasonous"
-Trump asked for military parade
-Rob Porter resigned for domestic abuse
-John Kelly defended Porter
-Trump said "I'd love to see a shutdown"
-The Dow fell 1,033 points
-The government shut down a 2nd time
- Keith Boykin

"The only security of all is in a free press. The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. It is necessary, to keep the waters pure." - Thomas Jefferson to Lafayette, 1823

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Thursday, February 8, 2018

The White House Soap Opera Continues

Hope Hicks, elusive Trump aide, in the spotlight amid Rob Porter scandal
Hope Hicks is the enigma of the Trump administration.
Hicks is the White House communications director and one of President Trump's closest aides. Yet she has never given a TV interview. She is rarely quoted at all. She is the yin to Trump's attention-grabbing yang.
And right now she's in a terrible place for a press-shy person to be: In the middle of not one but two White House scandals.

At this point, I think we can safely conclude that Hope Hicks has absolutely terrible taste in men.

Trump fired Cory Lewandowski and Rob Porter, both Hope Hick's boyfriends, Does he want Hope for himself? - Eric Elder

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

George W. Bush longs for the time when meddling in elections was done in-house, by Americans, purging the Democratic voter rolls. - Erik Bransteen

Another Trumped Up Nothingburger
FBI officials said the investigation into the November death of a U.S. Border Patrol agent has yielded no evidence that there was a "scuffle, altercation or attack" more than two months after President Donald Trump and others used the suggestion of an attack to promote the building of a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border...Investigators have conducted more than 650 interviews and involved 37 field offices in their probe, but have not found definitive evidence of an attack..The FBI release noted that a dispatcher, who was among the people interviewed by investigators, took the call from the surviving agent. According to the release, the dispatcher wrote in his log that, "(He) thinks they (both agents) ran into a culvert."

I dream of a world where cable news doesn't give ridiculous liars a forum to tell ridiculous lies. - The Hoarse Whisperer tweet

Republican Shenanigans

This morning Trump will attend the National Prayer Breakfast where he will give thanks that Republicans don’t care if he pays off porn stars, defends wife beaters, supports pedophiles or conspires with foreign adversaries. - Tea Pain

Take Your Job And Shove It, Sessions
Attorney General Jeff Sessions this week said that the solution for many people who suffer from chronic pain should be to “take aspirin and tough it out.”

Things John Kelly says....
Wife beater: He's a man of honor and integrity
Immigrants: Too lazy to get up off their asses
Black congresswoman: She's a liar and an empty barrel
Media: Use that sword on the press
Civil War: The lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War. - Wil Donnelly

Women Are Going To Save This Country Because They Can Deliver An 8 Hour Speech In High Heels Without Flinching
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi made history on Wednesday by delivering an eight-hour speech in protest of Speaker Paul Ryan’s unwillingness to commit to legislation that would protect "Dreamers."
And Pelosi, 77, a California Democrat, did it all while standing in four-inch heels, to the amazement of admirers on Twitter, and without taking a bathroom break. She broke a 109-year-old House record for longest speech from the floor by nearly three hours.

Nancy Pelosi spoke for 8 hours, Trump couldn’t read a 10 page memo? - Schooley tweet

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Rock The Voter News

I agree, this Clinton scandal where Hillary sold Uranium One to ISIS in Benghazi in order to finance the child sex ring run out of the basement of a pizza parlor that has no basement really needs to be looked into for the fifteen hundredth time. - Jeff Tiedrich

When Cops Rape In 35 States
When Anna said she was raped by two on-duty cops, she thought it would be a simple case. She had no idea she lived in one of 35 states where officers can claim a detainee consented.

The Rob Porter/John Kelly story is one where I genuinely wish I could say to Trump supporters, "Are you okay with this?" And the answer cannot include the names Clinton or Obama.- Mark Harris

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The Mexican-American judge that Donald Trump insulted may hear a case about his border wall. It’s the landmark case of Donald Trump vs. Payback’s a B***h.- Conan O'Brien

Business/Tech News

At some point, the media needs to stop calling whats happening at the White House "scandals" and start calling it crimes.- gettinnoticedmo tweet

Macy's Offering Clothing Choices For Muslim Women
Macy’s will introduce a collection of modest clothing, including hijabs, next week, making it the latest company to try to capture a piece of the lucrative Muslim clothing market.

Donald Trump is like the bus from "Speed" — if he doesn't tell 60 lies an hour he blows up. Fried chicken and cheeseburgers go everywhere.- Jimmy Kimmel