All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, November 16, 2017

They Shoot Elephants Don't They?

Trump administration reverses ban on import of elephant trophies
The Trump administration is reversing an Obama-era ban on hunters importing trophies of elephants killed in Zambia and Zimbabwe during government-approved big-game expeditions.

Killing an elephant for a trophy is the gruesome act of a wealthy savage.

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

FUN FACTS: It took 26 months to take down Nixon, but in just 6 months, Bob Mueller has 3 arrests, 1 plea deal and more pendin' indictments.- Tea Pain

What Swamp Does Trump Find These Nominees? Geez Louise.
Brett Talley, the Alabama lawyer Donald Trump has nominated to be a federal district judge, is a 36-year-old ghosthunter who has never tried a case and who failed to disclose to the Senate that he is married to the chief of staff to the White House counsel. He also seems to have written 16,381 posts—more than 3½ per day—on the University of Alabama fan message board TideFans.com.

At one point Jeff Sessions regained his memory and said that the Trump campaign couldn’t collude with the Russians because it was a “form of chaos, every day from day one.” I believe him. That’s such a great alibi. “That campaign was such a turbulent crap storm, there’s no way we could’ve planned anything like that. We were far too disorganized to be evil.” - James Corden

What Russia Ties? How About KGB Ties, In Writing.
The United States has awarded a contract to guard the U.S. embassy in Moscow to a company with KGB ties, The New York Times reports.
The State Department awarded the $2.8 million contract to Elite Security Holdings, a company co-founded by retired Russian general Viktor Budanov.

Republican Shenanigans

“If people believe Roy Moore’s five accusers, what happens to a man who has, say, about twenty accusers?” Donald J. Trump asked. - Andy Borowitz

Ivanka Says Roy Moore Headed For Hades
Ivanka Trump spoke out for the first time against embattled Alabama Senate Republican candidate Roy Moore, who has been accused of pursuing sexual relationships with teenagers when he was in his early thirties. Her father, President Donald Trump, meanwhile, has largely stayed mum on the issue.

Roy Moore has now been thrown out of 3 courts. The Alabama Supreme Court in 2003. The Alabama Supreme Court in 2016. And the Gadsden Mall Food Court in 1980. - Joyce Alene

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The whole Trump family looks like department store mannequins, except our beloved quarter pounder in chief.

Rock The Voter News

Even though it's narrow in focus, the bipartisan gun control bill moving through the Senate is a good start and a sensible, fair compromise.
Which means there's no way in hell it'll ever fucking pass. - Erik Bransteen

Hillary And Uranium One Allegations
Hillary Clinton responded on Wednesday to news that the Trump administration is considering appointing a special counsel to investigate her alleged ties to the Uranium One deal, calling the move “a disastrous step into politicizing the Justice Department” and “such an abuse of power.”

This Is The Type Of Garbage Voters See In Every Grocery Line In The USA. Real Fake News.

Not Al Franken! Yes, Al Franken. F**K! Shame On You!
Sen. Al Franken apologizes after woman alleges he groped her. Leeann Tweeden, a radio anchor for Los Angeles’ KABC, wrote Thursday that Franken's misconduct came while they toured the Middle East to entertain military personnel in 2006. After they returned from the trip, she discovered a picture of the senator groping her as she slept.

If Al Franken were to resign—and Tweeden's accusations seem highly credible— Minnesota Gov. Dayton (D) would appoint an interim replacement.
Then there'd be a special election as part of next's November midterms to fill out the remainder of Franken's term, which ends in 2020. - Nate Silver, Pollster

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Imagine taking more than $300 billion from older and sicker people who need health insurance, and giving that $300 billion to big corporations and wealthy people as a tax cut. That's the GOP plan. - Robert Reich

Business/Tech News

Twitter Unverifies White Nationalists, Except For Trump
Richard Spencer and other prominent white nationalists have lost their official verifications on Twitter — meaning the blue check marks next to their names are gone.

This year, instead of pardoning a turkey, Trump is going to round up every turkey Obama ever pardoned and kill them on live TV. - OhNoSheTwitnt

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FALL FUNDRAISER

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Happy Wednesday

Christopher Steele believes his dossier on Trump-Russia is 70-90% accurate
The respected ex-MI6 officer told Guardian journalist and author Luke Harding that his FBI contacts greeted his intelligence report with ‘shock and horror’

Blake Shelton is the sexiest man alive
McDonald's is our top restaurant
A reality TV performer is our president
the aliens will never come down & give us warp drive. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Apparently Alabama men have a hard time remembering hanging out with Russians or 14-year-old girls.- Andy Borowitz

The Torture Continues
The Senate on Tuesday narrowly confirmed Steven Bradbury to join the Department of Transportation, with two Republicans voting with Democrats in opposition over Bradbury's authorship of so-called torture memos during the George W. Bush administration.

Murderous dictator Duterte serenaded Trump with a Filipino love song.
Vlad, somebody’s tryin' to steal your man! - Bette Midler

Republican Shenanigans

If Shepherd Smith gets fired, I think he'll be the first male Fox News employee not terminated for sexual harassment. - Erik Bransteen

Follow me, little Trumpkins.

Follow the Digital Breadcrumbs Left By Russia
On Aug. 3 of last year, just as the US presidential election was entering its final, heated phase, the Russian foreign ministry sent nearly $30,000 to its embassy in Washington. The wire transfer, which came from a Kremlin-backed Russian bank, landed in one of the embassy’s Citibank accounts and contained a remarkable memo line: “to finance election campaign of 2016.”
That wire transfer is one of more than 60 now being scrutinized by the FBI and other federal agencies investigating Russian involvement in the US election. The transactions, which moved through Citibank accounts and totaled more than $380,000...

Roy Moore’s wife says he is a ‘Godly’ man… he just has to learn to keep his psalms off high school girls. - Chelsea Handler

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Rock The Voter News

Jeff Sessions testified again as part of the Russia investigation. And at one point, he was questioned about his stance on marijuana. You know, cuz it’s a little odd when a guy’s anti-weed, but seems to “forget” every conversation he’s ever had.- Jimmy Fallon

Motherpucker

Judge Rules Sessions Can't Extort Sanctuary Cities
A federal judge in Philadelphia ruled Wednesday against the Trump administration's policy of withholding law enforcement grants from so-called "sanctuary cities,"...At issue is Attorney General Jeff Sessions' stated policy of withholding any federal law enforcement aid to sanctuary cities.

Jeff Sessions testified about the Trump campaign and Russia providing some much-needed details about things he remembers nothing about. - Stephen Colbert

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Business/Tech News

Having to pay slightly higher taxes because you're so damn rich is pretty much a sign you've already won. - John Fugelsang

Denver Has Marijuana And Soon-To-Be Transportation Tubes! What A Combo!
Arrivo founder Brogan BamBrogan joined Colorado transportation officials in Denver Tuesday to announce a partnership to create a network of roadside tubes at the congested heart of the city that promises to whisk drivers and their cars to their destinations at speeds of up to 200 mph.

I'd bet Benjamin Franklin would have been really good on Twitter. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

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FALL FUNDRAISER

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Jeff Sessions puts the con in confederate

Jeff Sessions: 'Not enough basis' for special counsel to investigate Hillary Clinton
Jeff Sessions on Tuesday said there was “not enough basis” to appoint a special counsel to investigate Hillary Clinton, a day after reports surfaced that the attorney general had authorized senior prosecutors at the Department of Justice to evaluate an inquiry into the Clinton Foundation.

Chuck Grassley: "You intend to recuse yourself from both the Clinton email investigation and any matters involving the Clinton Foundation, if there are any?"
Jeff Sessions: "Yes." Confirmation Hearings, Jan. 10, 2017

So the main takeaway from #SessionsHearing is that our top cop isn't a serial perjurer, he just has a memory like the guy in "Memento." - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

President Trump met with President Vladimir Putin on Saturday and said he believes Putin’s claim that Russia did not meddle in the election. That story again: Bonnie believes Clyde. - Seth Myers

What Could Possibly Go Wrong With Allowing Crazy Druggies Who Mutilate Themselves In The Army?
People with a history of mental illness, drug abuse and self-mutilation can now apply to serve in the U.S. Army, according to a report on Sunday, which emerged as a former Air Force recruit’s mass shooting at a Texas church continues raising questions about the military’s handling of mental health problems.

The Attorney General just complained that he has been forced to recall discussions from over a year ago, and to recall who said what to whom.
Also known as what people investigated by DOJ are required to do every single day. - Bradley P. Moss

Republican Shenanigans

I see Fox News is doing its best to defend Moore,by discrediting women who are coming forward with allegations of disgusting sexual behaviour. I was expecting the Fox people to do a better job of it though, given that they've had so much practice in the last few months.- John Cleese

Rupert Murdoch Tried To Buy CNN
Rupert Murdoch telephoned AT&T Inc (T.N) Chief Executive Randall Stephenson twice in the last six months and talked about cable network CNN, sources briefed on the matter told Reuters on Friday.
According to one of the sources, the 86-year-old executive chairman of Twenty-First Century Fox Inc (FOXA.O) offered to buy CNN in both conversations.

Ode to Sean Hannity
by John Cleese

Aping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You’re a profanity
Hannity

Years from now we can only hope that we will look back at all of this and laugh. And we will be like, “You remember that time when Trump called Kim Jong Un short and fat? Haha. Anyway, how long do we have to stay in this bunker?”- James Corden

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A lot of people hate that I constantly defend @HillaryClinton. I wake up each day to a torrent of rage from right and left (and Russia). It doesn't deter me because when all is said and done, I stood by a friend and I stood on the right side of history. The rest is noise.- Peter Daou

Rock The Voter News

The Secret Correspondence Between Donald Trump Jr. and WikiLeaks
The transparency organization asked the president’s son for his cooperation—in sharing its work, in contesting the results of the election, and in arranging for Julian Assange to be Australia’s ambassador to the United States.

Donald Trump Jr. is so criminally stupid that if he hadn't been born rich, right now he'd be on an episode of Cops, drunk and with his shirt half off. - Jeff Tiedrich

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Business/Tech News

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said today that he believes the women who have accused Senate candidate Roy Moore of inappropriate sexual contact, adding that Moore should step aside. I’m proud of you, Mitch. That took a lot of chins. - Seth Myers