Russia Russia Russia

House intel panel invites former acting AG Sally Yates to testify
The House Intelligence Committee on Thursday asked several senior Obama administration officials, including former acting Attorney General Sally Yates, to testify publicly in the panel’s probe into Russian interference in the U.S. election.


Folks, with all the new attention on #WikiLeaks, DO NOT go to their site!  2 of their servers are now inside Russian Federation. #Spyware - Tea Pain

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Spicer: Trump personally involved in pressing for aid worker's release
• Pyongyang drivers scramble as gas stations limit services
• Syria still has chemical weapons says US defense secretary
• Trump Says Paris Attack Will Have 'Big Effect' on French Election
• Blackwater founder Erik Prince said to have advised Trump team

Russian bombers invade our defense zones 4 days straight and Trump can do nothing.  Putin owns him. - Tea Pain



My My My. A German-Russian Terrorist (Not Islamic) Tried To Profit From His Bombing
A 28-year-old German-Russian citizen was arrested on Friday in Germany on suspicion of bombing the bus carrying the Borussia Dortmund football team in an attack last week that officials alleged was motivated by financial greed.

Sarah Palin visited the White House along with Ted Nugent and Kid Rock. All three expressed their regrets that Honey Boo Boo couldn't make it. - Conan O'Brien

Republican Shenanigans

• Hawaii’s attorney general smacks down Sessions over ‘island in the Pacific’ slam — by explaining the Constitution
• Sessions says he doesn't regret comment about Hawaii judge being from 'island in the Pacific'
• Trump’s Mexico border wall to start by summer end, John Kelly says
• ‘Morning Joe’ praises Sarah Palin for learning how to ‘speak in complete sentences’
• Bill O'Reilly could get up to $25 million in severance: Sources
• Trump scoffs at 100-day mark as 'ridiculous standard'
• The View: Palin, Nugent visit was 'saddest day' in White House history since the British burned it down
• Ivanka Trump adds a chief of staff

Amazing fact in Playbook: "there isn't a single person in the senior leadership of the White House who has passed a bill in Congress" - Alex Burns NYT

Unbeknownst to Jeff Sessions almost every farm in
Alabama uses illegal immigrants.

The Mealy Mouthed Jeff Sessions Wants To Scorch Sanctuary Cities
The U.S. Justice Department has escalated its approach to so-called "sanctuary cities," writing at least eight jurisdictions Friday to put them on notice they could be failing to cooperate with immigration authorities.





Imagine being the president and the most "star-studded" guests you have at the White House are Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin. - Shahram Vahdany

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Rock The Voter News

• Obama photographer responds to Palin mocking Clinton portrait
• Obama making first public appearance of post-presidency in Chicago
• Obama wishes French presidential hopeful Macron good luck ahead of key vote
• Finally, Bernie Sanders Says He Hopes Jon Ossoff Wins

Trump thanked Sarah Palin, who lowered the bar so far in 2008 that she singlehandedly made his presidency possible. - Andy Borowitz

The DNC Chairman Dissing Obama Is The Worst Way To Unite Democrats. STOP IT!
Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) said former President Obama is partially to blame for the Democrats’ poor showing at the polls in 2016.
Ellison, now the deputy chairman of the Democratic National Committee, blamed Obama for ignoring party politics while he was in office, which he said had put the president’s legacy at risk.



Conservatives: I'll vote for a rodeo clown if it solidifies the GOP hold on power
Liberals: my candidate isn't pure enough so I'll stay home - Jeff Tiedrich


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Biz/Tech News

• Oil dives, sending US crude below $50 for first time in two weeks
• Treasury won't grant Exxon drilling waiver for Russia
• Judge sentences Volkswagen to $2.8B criminal fine for emissions cheating
• Trump says 'massive tax cut' plan coming as soon as Wednesday

Stealing Steel?
President Trump announced Thursday that he was directing the commerce secretary to investigate whether imports of steel were a threat to U.S.

What if the man in Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” is actually just singing “Day-O” from “The Banana Boat Song?” - Conan O'Brien

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Odd New

• Second parchment copy of Declaration of Independence found — in England
• Lights Off, Blankets Out: Lyrid Meteor Shower Peaks Tonight
• For sale: Tiny Oregon town, including 6 houses, closed store
• Vienna bartender appeals fine for public belching and wins
• Cops: 10 pounds of pot wrongly sent to Pennsylvania pastor
• Country music is more drug-ridden than any other genre 

Time To Deflate Photo

The PIETA by Michelangelo. I was fortunate enough to view it at the 1964 World's Fair where it was illuminated by blue lights while I stood on a moving sidewalk passing by it. It is beautiful beyond belief.

Peace.

Trump World

Newtown school board asks Trump to denounce Alex Jones
The Newtown Board of Education has written a letter to President Donald Trump asking him to speak out against conspiracy theorist Alex Jones.
Jones, the host of the radio program “Infowars," has alleged multiple times that the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School that killed 20 children was a hoax.



Geez Louise, nice company Trump keeps. No wonder he wants to keep the White House visitor logs secret.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Carter Page's Russia trip helped spur FBI probe: report
• Putin-linked think tank drew up plan to sway 2016 U.S. election 
• Russian journalist dies from injuries sustained in March attack
• N. Korea threatens ‘super-mighty preemptive strike’

The sword stands ready. - Vice President Mike Pence to North Korea

CIA And FBI Looking For Leaker Inside The CIA
CBS News has learned that a manhunt is underway for a traitor inside the Central Intelligence Agency.
The CIA and FBI are conducting a joint investigation into one of the worst security breaches in CIA history, which exposed thousands of top-secret documents that described CIA tools used to penetrate smartphones, smart televisions and computer systems.



Several days ago, President Trump said an American aircraft carrier was heading towards North Korea, but it turns out it was sailing in the opposite direction. It’s the aircraft carrier the U.S.S. Metaphor. - Conan O'Brien

Republican Shenanigans

• Poll: Majority says Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner's WH roles inappropriate
• Trump camp has paid $4M in legal fees: report
• GOP under pressure as tax reform deadline slips
• Trump gets an "F" on pledge to "drain the swamp" 
• Patriots, Trump hit back on White House crowd
• Federal hiring freeze: Policy made for the cameras, hurts real families
• Indiana cancels nearly half a million voter registrations
• Huckabee on O’Reilly’s old show: You can’t ‘kiss a woman leaning away from you’
• Ann Coulter vows to speak at Berkeley despite being canceled 
• Trump Cabinet has Bible study meetings with pastor who wants ‘disciples of Christ’ to take over the government
• Sarah Palin visits White House with Kid Rock, Ted Nugent

In firing Bill O'Reilly, Fox News sends a strong signal that sexual harassment will not be tolerated once it affects ad revenue. - Jeff Tiedrich

Inquiring minds want to know if Trump grabbed any Fox pussies. 

Dirty Old Men
In just nine months, Fox News has lost its founder and its biggest star to sexual harassment scandals.
It began on July 6, 2016, when Gretchen Carlson dropped a bombshell that CEO Roger Ailes had harassed her. Other accusations followed and Ailes was gone two weeks later. On Wednesday, Bill O'Reilly followed Ailes out the door.




Trump's been in office 3 months & hasnt even NAMED (let alone confirmed) a Dep Sec for Defense or State. That is crazy. 886 tweets though. - Michael McFaul‏

Putin Poisons Enemies. Trump Is Going To Poison Plants, Animals and People.
 Dow Chemical is pushing the Trump administration to scrap the findings of federal scientists who point to a family of widely used pesticides as harmful to about 1,800 critically threatened or endangered species.



The Trump administration has decided that, unlike the Obama administration, they will not release the White House visitor logs. It will no longer be a matter of public record. Which I’m sure is fine. It’s like when your teenage son borrows your laptop, when you get it back he cleared the browser history. Not suspicious at all. - Jimmy Kimmeñ


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Rock The Voter News

• France's Macron has call with Obama ahead of election
• Man Accused of Stalking and Harassing Malia Obama Was Detained by Secret Service and Given Psychiatric Evaluation
• Former Hillary Clinton speechwriter set to publish an insider account
• White House sidewalk to be closed to public permanently

First Bill O'Reilly is out at Fox, and now Jason Chaffetz is leaving Congress. This was a bad day for assholes. - Andy Borowitz

Hillary Is The Most Popular U.S. Politician
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is the most popular U.S. politician, surpassing fellow Democrats President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden as well as leading Republicans, a national poll found.
Sixty-one percent of American voters approve of Clinton, a possible U.S. presidential candidate for 2016, while 34 percent said they had an unfavorable opinion, according to the survey by Quinnipiac University released on Friday.

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OMG. The Republicans Need Their Own Home Shopping network.
If you’re willing to pony up $5,000 a year, you’ll be given monthly briefings with Republican House leadership staff, as well as receptions with legislators’ own chiefs of staff.

Biz/Tech News

• U.S. Mortgage Rates Drop to Five-Month Low With 30-Year at 3.97%
• Trump Orders Steel Imports Probe as American Company Fights China
• Trump: Dairy trade dispute with Canada a ‘disgrace’ caused by NAFTA
• GM says Venezuela has seized its car plant
• Malaysia Airlines is the first carrier to sign up for a new satellite tracking service

I worry that the media's fixation with the New England Patriots' visit to the White House is distracting us from the fact that Trump is a mentally unbalanced game show host with the largest nuclear arsenal in the world. - Andy Borowitz

This Should Be Interesting
A federal lawsuit brought by a so-called "Dreamer" deported to Mexico has been assigned to District Court Judge Gonzalo Curiel — the jurist famously attacked by then-candidate Donald Trump over his "Mexican heritage" in a separate case involving Trump University.



Happy 420th Birthday to Mary Wanna, the inventor of weed. - Anonymous

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I hope you had a 

good time today because...

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Odd News

• Satellite images suggest North Koreans were playing volleyball at their nuclear test site last weekend
• Police detonate 19th-century cannonball found among antiques
• Police suspect man faked his own kidnapping to extort mother
• Bus ad promoting US city festival shows images from Europe
• Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Flying car to go on sale
• Starbucks barista has meltdown over Unicorn Frappuccino

Time To Deflate Photo

Rocket Men entertain the crowds during the first Super Bowl halftime show in 1967.

Peace.

It was just a matter of time

Exxon Mobil applied to Treasury for exemption to resume venture with Rosneft forged in 2012 by Rex Tillerson
 Exxon Mobil Corp. has applied to the Treasury Department for a waiver from U.S. sanctions on Russia in a bid to resume its joint venture with state oil giant PAO Rosneft, according to people familiar with the matter.


Serena Williams won the Australian Open while pregnant and Donald Trump didn't serve in the military because of "temporary minor bone spurs" - OhNoSheTwitnt‏

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Eric Trump: 'The world will be a safer place because of my dad'
• US Aircraft Carrier Revelation Leaves South Koreans Feeling Cheated
• FBI used dossier allegations to bolster Trump-Russia investigation
• Tillerson: Iran complying with nuclear deal, but still sponsoring terrorism
• Syria evacuations resume after deadly bombing
• US plans to test new interceptor missile
• Hate crime is suspected after a gunman kills 3 white men in downtown Fresno
• Federal judge stops Auburn from canceling white nationalist Richard Spencer speech. Violence erupts.

At this point forget releasing his taxes, I wanna see a list of his meds. - John Fugelsang‏

North Korea and South Korea Agree: Trump Is Nuts
Unpredictable. Unhinged. Dangerous. Many South Koreans are using those words to describe the president of their most important ally, rather than the leader of their archrival to the North.



Things ain't fair for Trump.  He loses one Naval Armada and suddenly folks start callin' him incompetent.- Tea Pain

Daily reminder that it's been 46 days since Trump accused Obama of a felony and still hasn't provided proof or apologized.



Republican Shenanigans

• Ivanka's biz prospers as politics mixes with business
• Billionaires, Companies Power Trump's Record Inaugural Haul
• A month after dismissing federal prosecutors, Justice Department does not have any US attorneys in place
• Jimmy Kimmel gets Donald Trump supporters to defend absurd White House visitors
• Trump's About-Face on the Paris Climate Accord
• President Trump Felt 'Betrayed' by Amanda Knox After She Supported Hillary Clinton
• The Trump administration has deported a 'dreamer' for first time, advocates say
• Chaffetz won't run for reelection
• Miami state senator curses at black lawmaker — and refers to fellow Republicans as 'niggas'
• NPR: Tucker Carlson to take over O’Reilly’s 8 p.m. slot on Fox News 

When you treat women folks like Bill O'Reilly does, there's only 2 career paths: gig at Fox or the next GOP presidential candidate. - Tea Pain

Bill O'Reilly Canned?
Fox News has decided to oust top-rated host Bill O'Reilly, New York Magazine's Gabriel Sherman reported Wednesday. Top network execs are in talks about how to end their relationship with O'Reilly “without causing collateral damage to the network...

Cackling Trump Reveals To Dinner Guests They’ve All Just Eaten Single Piece Of His Tax Returns - The Onion

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Don't you think it's time Russian dossier author Christopher Steele has his name legally changed to "Nostradamus?" - Tea Pain

Rock The Voter News

• Voting rights group wants Republican protests probed
• Traffic restrictions announced for Rooney funeral, Obama visit

Bernie wants a litmus test for Dems while Republicans would vote for Satan as long as the letter (R) came after his name. - Matt Murphy


Turning A Red State Blue?
Democrat, Republican Move to Runoff in State Senate Race. Two candidates seeking to replace former state senator Judson Hill are headed to a runoff election.

Things the US Does Not Actually Have:
1) A wall with Mexico
2) A replacement for Obamacare
3) An "armada" sailing to North Korea
4) A President


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Biz/Tech News

• Oil slides more than 1 pct; US gasoline build seen as bearish
• Trump orders review of visa program to encourage hiring Americans
• Emirates reducing US flights amid 'weakened travel demand'

I really hope the rumor that Bill O'Reilly is going to be Press Sec is just a bad joke. One sexual predator working for another is too much. - Brasilmagic tweet

#BuildTheWall to protect America from desperate hardworking humans willing to do the absolute worst jobs for less than minimum wage. - John Fugelsang

Another Executive Order Debacle
U.S. President Donald Trump's "Buy American, Hire American" executive order on Tuesday left questions about how the government would enforce the order and whether it would make a real difference in output and employment, according to steel executives ...






Tax Day. It’s the day that all Americans but one release their tax records. - Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

• Alec Baldwin's Approach To Trump: If You Can't Beat Him, Become Him
• Frog slime could protect us against future flu epidemic
• An Asteroid Is Swinging By Earth Today For Its Closest Visit In 400 Years
• Testing begins after brown spots appear in 2 Florida cities
• Danish diplomat chases off burglar from Manhattan apartment

Time To Deflate Photo

Astronomers are using the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope to study auroras — stunning light shows in a planet’s atmosphere — on the poles of the largest planet in the solar system, Jupiter.
This photo is from the NASA  Image and Video Library online. You could get lost in there for hours.
Click here to visit the library.

Peace.