It was just a matter of time

Exxon Mobil applied to Treasury for exemption to resume venture with Rosneft forged in 2012 by Rex Tillerson
 Exxon Mobil Corp. has applied to the Treasury Department for a waiver from U.S. sanctions on Russia in a bid to resume its joint venture with state oil giant PAO Rosneft, according to people familiar with the matter.


Serena Williams won the Australian Open while pregnant and Donald Trump didn't serve in the military because of "temporary minor bone spurs" - OhNoSheTwitnt‏

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Eric Trump: 'The world will be a safer place because of my dad'
• US Aircraft Carrier Revelation Leaves South Koreans Feeling Cheated
• FBI used dossier allegations to bolster Trump-Russia investigation
• Tillerson: Iran complying with nuclear deal, but still sponsoring terrorism
• Syria evacuations resume after deadly bombing
• US plans to test new interceptor missile
• Hate crime is suspected after a gunman kills 3 white men in downtown Fresno
• Federal judge stops Auburn from canceling white nationalist Richard Spencer speech. Violence erupts.

At this point forget releasing his taxes, I wanna see a list of his meds. - John Fugelsang‏

North Korea and South Korea Agree: Trump Is Nuts
Unpredictable. Unhinged. Dangerous. Many South Koreans are using those words to describe the president of their most important ally, rather than the leader of their archrival to the North.



Things ain't fair for Trump.  He loses one Naval Armada and suddenly folks start callin' him incompetent.- Tea Pain

Daily reminder that it's been 46 days since Trump accused Obama of a felony and still hasn't provided proof or apologized.



Republican Shenanigans

• Ivanka's biz prospers as politics mixes with business
• Billionaires, Companies Power Trump's Record Inaugural Haul
• A month after dismissing federal prosecutors, Justice Department does not have any US attorneys in place
• Jimmy Kimmel gets Donald Trump supporters to defend absurd White House visitors
• Trump's About-Face on the Paris Climate Accord
• President Trump Felt 'Betrayed' by Amanda Knox After She Supported Hillary Clinton
• The Trump administration has deported a 'dreamer' for first time, advocates say
• Chaffetz won't run for reelection
• Miami state senator curses at black lawmaker — and refers to fellow Republicans as 'niggas'
• NPR: Tucker Carlson to take over O’Reilly’s 8 p.m. slot on Fox News 

When you treat women folks like Bill O'Reilly does, there's only 2 career paths: gig at Fox or the next GOP presidential candidate. - Tea Pain

Bill O'Reilly Canned?
Fox News has decided to oust top-rated host Bill O'Reilly, New York Magazine's Gabriel Sherman reported Wednesday. Top network execs are in talks about how to end their relationship with O'Reilly “without causing collateral damage to the network...

Cackling Trump Reveals To Dinner Guests They’ve All Just Eaten Single Piece Of His Tax Returns - The Onion

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Don't you think it's time Russian dossier author Christopher Steele has his name legally changed to "Nostradamus?" - Tea Pain

Rock The Voter News

• Voting rights group wants Republican protests probed
• Traffic restrictions announced for Rooney funeral, Obama visit

Bernie wants a litmus test for Dems while Republicans would vote for Satan as long as the letter (R) came after his name. - Matt Murphy


Turning A Red State Blue?
Democrat, Republican Move to Runoff in State Senate Race. Two candidates seeking to replace former state senator Judson Hill are headed to a runoff election.

Things the US Does Not Actually Have:
1) A wall with Mexico
2) A replacement for Obamacare
3) An "armada" sailing to North Korea
4) A President


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Biz/Tech News

• Oil slides more than 1 pct; US gasoline build seen as bearish
• Trump orders review of visa program to encourage hiring Americans
• Emirates reducing US flights amid 'weakened travel demand'

I really hope the rumor that Bill O'Reilly is going to be Press Sec is just a bad joke. One sexual predator working for another is too much. - Brasilmagic tweet

#BuildTheWall to protect America from desperate hardworking humans willing to do the absolute worst jobs for less than minimum wage. - John Fugelsang

Another Executive Order Debacle
U.S. President Donald Trump's "Buy American, Hire American" executive order on Tuesday left questions about how the government would enforce the order and whether it would make a real difference in output and employment, according to steel executives ...






Tax Day. It’s the day that all Americans but one release their tax records. - Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

• Alec Baldwin's Approach To Trump: If You Can't Beat Him, Become Him
• Frog slime could protect us against future flu epidemic
• An Asteroid Is Swinging By Earth Today For Its Closest Visit In 400 Years
• Testing begins after brown spots appear in 2 Florida cities
• Danish diplomat chases off burglar from Manhattan apartment

Time To Deflate Photo

Astronomers are using the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope to study auroras — stunning light shows in a planet’s atmosphere — on the poles of the largest planet in the solar system, Jupiter.
This photo is from the NASA  Image and Video Library online. You could get lost in there for hours.
Click here to visit the library.

Peace.

A message from Lady Liberty

It’s France’s Turn to Worry About Election Meddling by Russia
The flagging, scandal-plagued presidential campaign of François Fillon — a former prime minister of France much liked by the Kremlin but not so much, it seems, by French voters — received a surprise lift late last month with a report that he had staged a remarkable recovery in opinion polls and was now leading the pack ahead of voting this Sunday.



REMINDER: what is happening in this country now is not normal. -  Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• 'God has given us another chance’: Speakers at pro-Trump rally urge crowd to prepare for a ‘civil war’
• ISIS drops explosives from weaponized drones
• Trump railed against Benghazi -- but he still hasn't nominated anyone to oversee embassy security
• ‘F*ck you, Geraldo’: John Oliver torches Fox and Friends crew for their MOAB war-gasm
• One crew member dead, two injured in Black Hawk helicopter crash in Maryland
• ‘What’s the wine pairing with a cruise missile?’: Colbert ridicules Trump eating cake while bombing Afghanistan

Trump is so  close to getting us into World War 3. I will be SO PISSED if I live this long only to wind up NOT dying of natural causes! - Bette Midler

Trump Gives Kudos To The Death Of Turkish Democracy
President Trump phoned Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan to congratulate him on winning a referendum that will grant the foreign leader broader powers, Erdoğan's office and the White House said Monday.




Pence went to South Korea to see firsthand how someone takes over for an impeached president. - Tea Pain

Trump's Naval Strategy?
If the USS Carl Vinson strike group is heading to the Korean peninsula, it is taking its time.
More than a week after reports first emerged that the aircraft carrier and its accompanying ships were headed toward the peninsula amid fears North Korea may conduct another nuclear test, Navy photos from Saturday show Vinson operating nearly 3,500 miles away, off Indonesia.



"We must prevent a madman like Kim Jong-un from using nuclear weapons," Trump said in an interview with Pot-Kettle Magazine. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• GOP senator booed by constituents for defending Trump over tax returns
• Two new plaintiffs join lawsuit against Trump: report
• White nationalist accuses Trump of inciting him to violence at rally 
• Nearly $500K from Trump's 2020 re-election campaign has gone to Trump restaurants, hotels and golf clubs
• The "candy option" for tax reform
• Huckabee: "I'd rather have Obama back as president than have Comcast" 
• Glenn Beck countersues Tomi Lahren in employment dispute 
• White House Snapchat misspells DeVos' title as 'Secretary of Educatuon' 

Fox News: Muslims force women to cover their faces and that's bad.
Also Fox News: Our female reporters must all wear heels and mini skirts.
-OhNoSheTwitnt‏

This is the most ethically-challenged White House in history: 
-No visitor logs
-No tax returns
-No blind trust
-No respect for ethics laws 
~ Robert Reich

Follow The Yuan
On April 6, Ivanka Trump's company won provisional approval from the Chinese government for three new trademarks, giving it monopoly rights to sell Ivanka brand jewelry, bags and spa services in the world's second-largest economy. That night, the first daughter and her husband, Jared Kushner, sat next to the president of China and his wife for a steak and Dover sole dinner at Mar-a-Lago.

That awkward moment when Trump administration spends Easter weekend finalizing plans to deport guys named Jesus from our Christian nation. - Tea Party Cat

Erik Prince is the brother of the Christian Crusader
Betsy DeVos who heads the Dept of Education.

Trump Gets Advice From A Mercenary In Secret
In the very public, post-election parade of dignitaries, confidantes and job-seekers filing in and out of Donald Trump’s marquee Manhattan tower, Blackwater founder Erik Prince was largely out of sight. And yet Prince was very much a presence, providing advice to Trump’s inner circle, including his top national security adviser, Michael T. Flynn, according to people familiar with his activities.




Thanks to Donald Trump and Betsy DeVos, after years of struggle white people finally are finally getting a chance! - Andy Borowitz

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 Hard to know who's more dangerous, Kim Jong-un, who kills his relatives, or Trump, who employs them. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

• Planned Parenthood Condemns President Trump's Signing of Bill That Threatens Health Care Protections for 4 Million
• Hollywood collides with Trump in Georgia race
• We’re in the middle of an SNL skit, always’: Don Lemon resigns himself to Trump’s absurd administration
• New Poll Finds Majority of Americans Have Smoked Marijuana
• Sanders rejected Clinton's "I'm with her" slogan: "It's so phony!" 

Bernie Could Accomplish More Bashing Democrats If He Was A Democrat. Just sayin'.
Independent U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders gained roars of approval from a friendly crowd on Monday as he called for a radical transformation of the Democratic Party into a grassroots movement founded on the tenets of his unsuccessful Democratic presidential campaign: fighting against the billionaire class and rigged economic and political systems.




The trains in NYC are a mess.  Is Trump starving the city of Transportation money? Could we have back that money we have to pay for Melania? - Bette Midler

Both Trump and his son Baron didn't escort Melania down the stairs.

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Biz/Tech News

• Oil hits 11-day low on expected surge in U.S. shale output
• Trump executive order to boost 'Buy American, Hire American' plan coming: report
• Warren Buffett: Free trade hurts some people, but we should embrace it
• United CEO: Doctor being dragged off plane was "watershed moment" 
• Facebook murder suspect remains at large as police ask public for help

United Airlines removes one person from a plane and there is viral outrage; meanwhile, the US President wants to remove 10 million people from the country and millions of Republicans are down with that. - Andy Borowitz

Pence Tells South Korea They Hurt American Workers
Vice President Pence on Monday said the U.S. is not reaping the full benefits of trading with South Korea.
“We have to be honest about where our trade relationship is falling short,” he said in Seoul, according to pool reports. "Our businesses continue to face too many barriers to entry, which tilts the playing field against American workers.”





Here's a bit of musical humanity that brings a tear of joy.



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Odd News

• Receding glacier causes immense Canadian river to vanish in four days
• A new crack in one of Greenland's largest glaciers has scientists' attention
• Asteroid study explains how disaster movies get it wrong
• Scientists find giant, elusive clam known as 'the unicorn of mollusks'
• Tattooed travellers in Japan beware

Time To Deflate Photo

I can relate to this tiger's expression, it feels good.

Peace.

Just like that Putin Punts Trump

Russian state TV calls Trump 'more dangerous' than North Korean dictator: report
The head of a Kremlin-run news agency said President Trump is “more dangerous” than the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, according to a Monday Bloomberg Politics report.
“Trump is more impulsive and unpredictable than Kim Jong-Un,” Dmitry Kiselyov said Sunday on his show “Vesti Nedelyi.”


So we're less than 100 days into Trump and we're closer to a nuclear war than we've been all century. So this is going exactly as predicted. - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Pence warns North Korea of US resolve shown in Syria, Afghan strikes
• Trump 'will take action' to end any North Korea threat to US: top security adviser
• North Korea: ‘Thermonuclear war’ possible at any time
• China and Russia chasing US ship near Korean Peninsula
• Palestinian prisoners in Israeli jails launch mass hunger strike
• Ex-Afghan president: Trump committed 'atrocity' with massive bomb strike 
• Monitors Criticize Turkey Referendum; Erdogan Denounces 'Crusader Mentality'
• Border wall could leave some Americans on 'Mexican side'
• John Oliver Warns France Against Electing Marine Le Pen: Dont F*ck Up, Too

North Korea Offers Unconditional Surrender After Mike Pence Angrily Squints At It. - Andy Borowitz

Russia's New Army: Robots
Russia's Fedor robot has learned to shoot guns with impressive precision. How do companies like Google, groups and individuals try to stop killer robots from taking over the world?

If Flynn's lies hadn't been uncovered, it's likely Trump's National Security Adviser would still be a paid foreign agent of Turkey's despot. - Brian Klaas

Republican Shenanigans

• Majority in US No Longer Thinks Trump Keeps His Promises | Gallup
• A blue wave begins? Republicans may be in trouble in Kansas, Montana and Georgia elections
• Even in hometown, constituents rip into Republican lawmaker
• Trump White House officials secretly work their way around ethics rules: report 
• Spicer knocks Obama as he defends keeping White House visitor logs private
• EPA may consider closing Chicago office
• Kid asks Trump to sign his hat. Trump signs it and tosses it into the crowd
• President Trump's first White House Easter Egg Roll was a dud 
• Lawyer defending Alex Jones in a child custody dispute: Client’s Infowars persona differs from the private man
• Arkansas fights to carry out unprecedented wave of executions

The Obama's spent every Easter attending church service. Trump hasn't attended church once since his inauguration. Where's the GOP outrage? - Matt McDermott

Democrats Cleared Of Fake News Attack
A review of the surveillance material flagged by House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes shows no inappropriate action by Susan Rice or any other Obama administration official, Republican and Democratic Congressional aides who have been briefed on the matter told NBC News.

Come on, chickensh*t, if you're man enough to drop a mega-bomb on Afghanistan, you should be man enough to release your tax returns. - Stephen King

Congratulations to the first lady, Melania Trump, who just got a nice payout from a British tabloid newspaper, The Daily Mail. According to CNN, Melania received $2.9 million in damages, which she's using to build an escape tunnel back to Slovenia. - Jimmy Kimmel

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If Pence is complicit with Trump, we gotta bring'em down together lest Trump resigns & Pence pardons the whole herd. This is the hold up. - Tea Pain

Rock The Voter News

• Clinton campaign hands over 10 million contacts to DNC: report
• Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Julia Roberts, and More Visit Broadway

Tweeting During The Easter Egg Roll 
As thousands began to gather on the White House lawn Monday for the annual Easter Egg Roll, President Trump again took on the media, the Democrats, and the Obama administration via one of his favorite activities: Tweeting. "'The first 90 days of my ...




It's now ok again for an American President to play golf and bomb foreign countries. It was just a matter of waitin' for the white time.- Tea Pain

I'm pitching a game show about Twitter called "Illiterate Troll or Russian Bot?" - John Fugelsang

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Biz/Tech News

• Oil end at a 1-week low as traders eye US crude output
• Problems Mount for United After Bride and Groom Say They Were Kicked off Flight
• Google reaches $7.8 million settlement in its Android antitrust case in Russia
• GOP lawmaker defends rollback of internet privacy: You don't have to use the internet

A new article says that Donald Trump has changed the definition of the word "conservative." It used to mean "traditional" and "right leaning" - now it means "batsh*t crazy." - Conan O'Brien

Boeing Laying Off Engineers
Boeing Co. plans to lay off hundreds of engineers amid slowing aircraft sales, the company announced Monday. The workforce reduction scheduled for June 23 comes after the Chicago-based manufacturer laid off 1,800 mechanics and engineers earlier this ...



My two favorite things about Easter morning are (1) hiding the eggs and (2) the looks on my kids' faces when the snakes start to hatch. - Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

• Man dies happy after he’s told ‘Trump has been impeached’: obituary
• Untangling The Mystery Of Why Shoelaces Come Untied
• Man tries to steal meat from delivery truck, ends up locked in sub-zero refrigerated trailer
• Florida waiter accused of stealing a $3,000 diamond ring that fell off a customer's finger
• Authorities say man who was impersonating a Florida police officer pulls over real officer

Time To Deflate Photo

April the giraffe finally had her baby amidst much media coverage. April got her revenge though, she kicked one of the vets and chased him out of her pen.

Peace.