All Hat No Cattle

Monday, December 12, 2016

Trump versus the CIA

Secret CIA assessment says Russia was trying to help Trump win White House
The CIA has concluded in a secret assessment that Russia intervened in the 2016 election to help Donald Trump win the presidency, rather than just to undermine confidence in the U.S. electoral system, according to officials briefed on the matter.

What the hell is going on?

Sane people across the USA and AHNC have been screaming about this for months. There are videos and tweets from Trump asking Russia to interfere with the election. What more proof do we need that he has broken multiple laws?

And FBI DIRECTOR COMEY directly affected the election by not only releasing a cryptic evaluation of Hillary but he withheld the information about the Russians.

The Russians aren't coming, they're already here.

Here's the video:

Here's the tweet:

There's a word for people concerned about Russian meddling in our election: patriotic.- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Deplorables don’t believe Putin helped Trump if told by US Intelligence, but believe #Pizzagate if told by anon tweet from a dude in Russia. - Mrs. Betty bowers

Please Tell Me Why We Shouldn't Be Scared. Trump Is Going To Get Us Killed.
China said Monday that it had "serious concern" about President-elect Donald Trump's most recent comments concerning Taiwan, and warned that any changes to how America deals with the self-governing island could damage diplomatic ties between Washington and Beijing.

Interesting Read About Tracking Hackers
This spring, a group of computer scientists set out to determine whether hackers were interfering with the Trump campaign. They found something they weren’t expecting.

Ultimately, I'd bet the GOP goes for the "We get the Supreme Court Justices and Putin gets the Secretary of State" deal. - LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

Let this sink in. We're about to put a feller in the White House that believes InfoWars is a more valid intelligence source than the CIA.- Tea Pain

Oh Joy! A Swamp Monster From Iran/Contra Days!
Neocon and notoriously easily provoked hothead John Bolton — who is rumored to be President-elect Donald Trump’s nominee of Deputy Secretary of State — said on Sunday that there is no proof that malicious hacks on the email servers of the Democratic National Committee and Republican National Committee were not carried out as a “false flag” operation by the agencies loyal to Pres. Barack Obama.

Apparently if Infowars and Dick Cheney had a baby, it would be John Bolton's mustache.- LOLGOP

The congressional Republicans who tirelessly investigated Benghazi are going to be all over this Russian hacking thing, I'll bet.- Andy Borowitz

Watching The Giveaways Begin
Aleksey Pushkov, the head of Russia's Foreign Affairs Committee, tweeted high praises of Donald Trump's reported pick for secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, who has very close ties with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

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Trump to appoint dingo to watch baby.- LOLGOP

Hillary Clinton ran against Donald Trump, Russia, the FBI, media bias, and the patriarchy, but still won the popular vote by 2.8 million. - Sarah Lerner

Rock The Voter News

How Trump Treats His Rubes
President-elect Donald Trump on Friday acknowledged his threat to imprison Hillary Clinton for using a private email server during her time as secretary of state was simply an appeal to win voters...“No, it’s okay,” Trump said as the crowd jeered a reference to Clinton. “Forget it. That plays great before the election. Now, we don’t care, right?”

One way to get Trump to go to daily intelligence briefings is to call them "compliments you got from people around the world."- Andy Borowitz

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The intelligence community represents two things Trump hates, intelligence and community.- Andy Borowitz

Biz/Tech News

Trump isn't president yet and he has opened numerous boxes of Pandora's from Russia to China. I want to wake up from this nightmare.

I don't need the CIA. I have the KGB.

The Pomposity Of Trump: No Need For Daily CIA Briefings
President-Elect Donald Trump dismissed concerns that he is rejecting the presidential intelligence briefings every day, saying he really doesn’t think they’re necessary. “You know, I'm, like, a smart person. I don't have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years. Could be eight years—but eight years. I don't need that,” Trump told Fox News’ Chris Wallace in an interview that was taped Saturday. “But I do say, ‘If something should change, let us know’.”

I marvel at the optimism of someone starting a fresh Trump parody account in mid-December of 2016.- LOLGOP

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Friday, December 9, 2016

The Trump state of mind

Women’s March on Washington Barred From Lincoln Memorial
...the National Park Service, on behalf of the Presidential Inauguration Committee, has blocked access to the landmark by filing a “massive omnibus blocking permit.” This will bar protesters from most of the National Mall, Pennsylvania Avenue, the Washington Monument, and of course, the Lincoln Memorial for days and weeks before, during, and after the inauguration, which will take place on Jan. 20, 2017.

Trump blocks #millionwomanmarch from Lincoln Memorial despite the fact that the LM is actually owned by Americans who pay federal taxes. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Trump's cabinet is so unfit and corrupt it already defies political comparison. It is filled with Batman Villains. - Keith Olbermann

Men With Weird Hair Are Nuclear Armed. Think About That.
North Korea now has the capability to launch a nuclear weapon, a senior U.S. military official said Thursday, adding that while the U.S. believes Pyongyang can mount a warhead on a missile, it's not clear that it can hit a target.

Trump to appoint cigarette lighter to watch gas station. - LOLGOP

Obama Starts Investigation Of Election
President Obama has directed the intelligence community to conduct “a full review” of the 2016 election in light of reports of Russian interference, homeland security adviser Lisa Monaco said Friday.
The report is expected to be completed and transmitted to Congress before he leaves office Jan. 20.

Trump: "Obama is wasting money investigating Russian hacking of election. Putin promised me it won't happen again, unless I need him to."- Tea Party Cat

Republican Shenanigans

Obama said that, while he understood that Trump was eager to create potentially cataclysmic diplomatic crises around the world, tradition dictated that he wait until he is actually President to do so.- Andy Borowitz

Trump Sloughs Off Intelligence Briefings
President-elect Donald Trump is receiving an average of one presidential intelligence briefing a week, according to U.S. officials familiar with the matter, far fewer than most of his recent predecessors.

Legally, Trump can be impeached at his Inauguration, because the moment he swears to defend the Constitution he will be lying under oath.- Andy Borowitz

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Trump Mixes Up Being PC With Being F*cking Accurate
“They used to call it ‘Man of the Year,’ but they can’t do that anymore — they want to be politically correct. That’s OK," he said.
The magazine had called the award the “Man of the Year” since it launched in 1927. It changed to “Person of the Year” in 1999.

Rock The Voter News

Clinton jokes at the portrait unveiling of Harry Reid: "After a few weeks of taking selfies in the woods, I thought it would be a good idea to come out"

Interesting to see which Republicans say we shouldn't probe election hacking so we can focus on mandatory probes of women's vaginas. - LOLGOP

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The GOP will do anything for tax cuts for the rich. TV will do anything for ratings. The question is what we'll do to preserve democracy.- LOLGOP

Biz/Tech News

Trump wants to know what was in Hillary's speeches to Goldman Sachs so badly, he's going to keep hiring people from there until he finds out - Kaivon Schroff

Not Every CEO Likes Trump Trade Policy
The CEO of FedEx on Friday made a strongly worded critique of Trump and his trade policy. He said getting rid of the NAFTA—a trade agreement with Canada and ...

Pope Francis has warned the media to stop spreading false information. Or as the media reported it, “World’s Top Rabbi Says ‘Keep Up the Good Work!’”- Conan O'Brien

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

That sinking feeling...

Breitbart News is taking the business of outrage to Europe
Milo Yiannopoulos, an editor at Breitbart, explained after Mr Trump’s victory that half of voters are “repulsed by the Lena Dunham, Black Lives Matter, third-wave feminist, communist, ‘kill-all-white-men’ politics of the progressive left.” Breitbart saw it coming a while ago, he added. The company’s expansion plans suggest it sees something coming in Europe, too. It already has a website in Britain and in January it will launch French and German sites.

I feel for Europe with Breitbart invading them. Good luck!

Inherit your life from your dad, avoid taxes for decades & you too can get taxpayers to pay a million dollars a day so you can have 2 homes.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Today marks the 75th anniversary of the last time America legally declared war.
(Please don't tell the 240+ conflicts we've had since then).- John Fugelsang

Q: Why does Trump need so many Generals on his staff?
A: Cause martial law ain't gonna start itself! - Tea Pain

Some Bonehead Said This To Me In A Comment Section Online (I often test out my one-liners or just vent)

Trump will be the best president in your short lifetime shofar.

Me: Actually in my "short" lifetime, my life was better under these 3 presidents "shofar":

3. JFK. He ended the Cuban Missile Crisis and prevented the world from getting blown up by Russians.
2. Obama. He cleaned up MOST of the mess Bush left, which included 2 ugly wars and a crashing economy with 0 help from Republicans.
1. Clinton. Jobs jobs jobs. It was the economy stupid. The best economy in my lifetime and the introduction of the Internet to the masses and all its benefits. Thank you Al Gore.

End of comment.

Now we have entered Trumpdom and apparently, anything goes.

Buckle up Buttercups and mull over building a bomb shelter.

We don't need to worry about the GOP takin' away our Social Security. Thanks to Trump's EPA policies, none of us'll live that long. - Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

Trump appoints flesh-eating bacteria to lead Department of Flesh.- LOLGOP

He promised the world then filled his cabinet with billionaire donors and cronies who all had one goal -- ripping taxpayers like you off. - LOLGOP

Man bun in a man suit.

Paul Ryan Thinks Trumps Tweets Don't Matter
The defenses of President-elect Donald Trump’s Twitter feed are all pretty horrible. But of the many baffling and dangerous premises being used to defend Trump’s use of Twitter as a bully pulpit for spreading pernicious lies, perhaps the most baffling and dangerous is this one: It’s just words.
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan did a version of this on 60 Minutes on Sunday when he said that the veracity of Trump’s tweets doesn’t matter.

Below is a screen shot I took of Twitter's Terms of Service. Why hasn't Trump been banned from Twitter?

Trump's support of Sandy Hook truther Alex Jones is emboldening this cruelty. - LOLGOP

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So we'll have president with an ego so frail that on the day he's named Person of the Year, he'll start a Twitter war with a guy named Chuck. - LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

Trump Is Dragging His Feet On Transitioning
Obama officials alarmed at slow pace of agency-level transition. The slower pace applies not only to key appointments throughout his administration, but also to Trump's lower-profile agency review teams, whose nitty-gritty work with Obama's career bureaucrats could make or break Trump's pledge to get his presidency...

Trump supporters are so cheery now that they can freely say "Merry Christmas!" and "Sandy Hook was staged by child actors!" to anyone. - LOLGOP

"Thank God I am black. White people will have a lot to answer for at the last judgement" - Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Hey Alt-Righties! Trump's transition approval ratings are 32% lower than the black guy's! You did Nazi that comin'!- Tea Pain

Ground Control To Major John
John Glenn, whose 1962 flight as the first U.S. astronaut to orbit the Earth made him an all-American hero and propelled him to a long career in the U.S. Senate, died Thursday. The last survivor of the original Mercury 7 astronauts was 95.

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Trump’s Stock Sales? Bullsh*t.
By Rick Wise

The report that Trump sold all his stock holdings in June has been out there since Monday and nobody has yet called “bullsh*t” on it. So let me be the first to say:

Bullsh*t.

Investigations to continue till 2116.

Why do I think it’s bullsh*t? Because if Trump had sold all his stocks in June he would have said so at the time, declared himself Mr. Clean, bragged about his brilliance as an investor and how much money he made on the sales, crowed about using the proceeds to self-fund his campaign, and challenged Clinton to divest her stock holdings too.

Then the fawning media would focus on Clinton’s refusal to divest her holdings and on Clinton’s many conflicts of interest. Trump would escape scrutiny entirely.

But what if he didn’t make money; what if he lost money? In May, Trump’s financial disclosure report showed he owned $15,000 - $50,000 in Energy Transfer Partners stock – the company building the Dakota Access Pipeline. That’s down from $500,000 - $1,000,000 a year earlier.

Those figures came from Fortune on November 26, with no angry late-night tweets from Trump disputing the reported holdings (and calling Fortune a failing, left-wing rag that nobody reads).

We don’t know the exact numbers but if we look at just the midpoints of those ranges, the value of Trump’s Energy Transfer Partners stock fell to about $37,500 from about $750,000 a year earlier – a stunning 95% decline.

Way to pick ‘em, Donald! This must be step #1 in the Trump formula for making a small fortune in the stock market: “Start with a large fortune …”

He's watching you.

Of course, we would never know that he lost a small fortune in the market because he would just lie about it. He lost money? No, he would say he made money. How? Strategic genius. Proof? Trade confirmations? Tax returns? Forget about it; those are nobody’s business. And you wouldn’t understand them anyway.

No, Trump still owns those stocks and any report to the contrary is bullshit. Trump’s solution to his conflicts-of-interest problem will be the same as his solution to everything else: lie about it, create a diversion, and move on. It works every time.

Trump will overturn Obama’s decision on the Dakota Access Pipeline in January and oil will begin flowing under the Missouri River while money begins flowing to Trump's brokerage account.

Let’s face it: Donald Trump is the P. T. Barnum of our time. Any of his pronouncements on any subject, in the absence of objective confirming evidence, have to be seen for what they are: Bullsh*t.

Biz/Tech News

Durin' the Civil War, White Supremacists attacked the Union. Today, they're attackin' the unions.- Tea Pain

Trump Has No Intention Of Leaving His Business Interests
The first Bloomberg National Poll since the election shows 51 percent of those surveyed are very or mostly confident the billionaire businessman will put the nation’s best interests ahead of his family’s finances when he deals with foreign leaders.
The president-elect has has made a vague pledge on Twitter that he will seek to distance himself from his businesses to avoid any appearance of a conflict, although ethics experts have suggested that selling his corporate assets is the only sure way to separate them from his new position of power. He’s scheduled a Dec. 15 news conference to address the topic.

Told the toddler "if you're good Santa rewards you, but if you're naughty he won't."
He replied "I think you're talking about Karma"- John Fugelsang

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Monday, December 12, 2016

Trump versus the CIA

Friday, December 9, 2016

The Trump state of mind

Thursday, December 8, 2016

That sinking feeling...

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