Tuesday, November 22, 2016

I know you are feeling Trump depression, so here's an option...

Trump Foundation admits to violating ban on ‘self-dealing,’ new filing to IRS shows
President-elect Donald Trump’s charitable foundation has admitted to the IRS that it violated a legal prohibition against “self-dealing,” which bars nonprofit leaders from using their charity’s money to help themselves, their businesses or their families.


so basically every scurrilous accusation leveled at the clinton foundation is actually happening for reals at the trump foundation. - jeff tiedrich



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Dear media: Please stop calling them the "alt-right." Just call them Nazis. They won't be offended. Nazis are super hard to offend, unless you call them Jews. - Andy Borowitz




Today marks 53 years of people believing 1 bullet caused 7 wounds on 2 guys. - John Fugelsang



Alt-right? Call Them What They Are, Bible Thumpin' Gun Totin' Racists.
A spokesman for Donald Trump’s transition team sent a statement Monday night saying the president-elect condemns racism, following an "alt-right" conference over the weekend where white nationalists cheered his election.









Always a gentleman, Mike Pence has promised that he'll provide free gay conversion therapy to any Hamilton cast members who require it. - John Fugelsang


Republican Shenanigans

Trump promises to speak out against White Supremacy as soon as he's done denouncin' Broadway Musicals, the NY Times & Saturday Night Live.- Tea Pain




All In The Family
Argentine President Mauricio Macri says he spoke with President-elect Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka during his recent phone call to America’s new leader.
“In the call, I also talked with his daughter,” Macri told The Asashi Shimbun in an interview published Monday. "I have known her since her infant days."


Say what you will about Trump, he is extremely presidential. For example, it took Richard Nixon five years as President to become as paranoid and insane as Trump already is. - Andy Borowitz



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Rock The Voter News

BREAKING: Donald Trump announces he won't prosecute Hillary Clinton for crimes she never committed.- Tea Party Cat




Outgoing Education Secy Says Beating Kids Is Bad
Education Secretary John King Jr. is urging state leaders to end the use of corporal punishment in schools.
In a letter to state governors and chief state school officials Monday, King called corporal punishment a practice that is “harmful, ineffective and often disproportionately applied to students of color and students with disabilities.”





If Clinton had won we'd be discussing minimum wage and maternity leave. Instead we get to argue about the preferred nomenclature for nazis.- Michael Nordine

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But, But, But, We Like Kicking Her When She's Down!
Conservatives expressed feelings of betrayal on Tuesday after a top advisor to President-elect Donald Trump said that the incoming administration would decline to pursue a criminal case against former rival Hillary Clinton.




Trump fans will still be yelling "But Hillary" as Trump lets Ryan take their Medicare as he's negotiating building permits in São Paulo.- LOLGOP


Biz/Tech News




TrumpSpeak: My Business Is None Of Your Business
In a conference call with reporters Tuesday morning, a spokesman for Donald Trump's transition avoided questions about whether the President-elect is still involved in running his business empire, directing reporters to Trump himself.

Trump’s cabinet so far is scarier than my high school biology teacher’s cabinet, and that one had a pickled brain in a jar.- Bette Midler




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Thank you!
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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

A World War II poster when the country united against a common enemy.

Peace.

Monday, November 21, 2016

The Bromance of the Century


Reagan thought Russians and hippies were evil.

Russia, who has been the mortal enemy of Republicans in modern times, is having a bromance with Trump.

And Trumpov supporters have no problem with this.

My God, people, is Putin going to give Trump advice on how to seize a country as he did with Crimea? Or shoot down a passenger jet over Ukraine? Or tips on how to poison with plutonium? Or will Putin jail the female rock band, Pussy Riot again while Trump grabs their pussies?

Nope. Putin will do what he does best as ex-KGB, he will infiltrate and destroy the enemy from within.

Seriously, Russians?

Wake up America.


A scramble to assess the dangers of President-elect Donald Trump's global business empire
Turkey is a nation in crisis, scarred by government crackdowns following a failed coup attempt and on a potential collision course with the West. It is also home to a valuable revenue stream for the president-elect’s business empire: Trump Towers Istanbul.


Americans kill more Americans than ISIS kills Americans so we should probably play it safe and not let any more Americans into America.- John Fugelsang




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Reminder: most presidents-elect hold news conference 2-3 days after election. Trump has made NO PUBLIC STATEMENT since election. - Eric Boehlert




Trump Election Sparks Hate Crime Explosion
An "explosion" in hate crimes since Election Day has prompted the creation of a special police unit to fight the uptick in New York, Gov. Andrew Cuomo said 


As offensive behavior goes, I'm of the belief that booing is somewhat more acceptable than groping genitals.- Andy Borowitz




Amazing how much real Trump corruption the media's uncovered now that it no longer has to balance it with fake Hillary corruption. - @goldengateblond tweet


Republican Shenanigans

Wow the audience at Hamilton booed so loud that the news didn't hear about Trump paying $25m to settle his fake university lawsuit.- Trevor Noah





Why did Trump settle the Trump U case? Because the time for puny million dollar scams has ended. The time for billion dollar scams has come. - David Frum



Conflict Of Interest Much?
President-elect Donald Trump registered eight companies during his presidential campaign that appear to be tied to hotel interests in Saudi Arabia



I'm surprised Melania is staying in New York City, since only 10% of the city voted for Trump.



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Trump's takin' a salary of 1 dollar?  He's precisely the quality of President you could get at Dollar Tree. - Tea Pain



Rock The Voter News

Parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.
Parents in 2016: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS. - Daniel Kibblesmith




Tour Of Trump Tower Reaction: Golly Gee Henrietta, Looky At All Them Gold Chairs
TMZ founder Harvey Levin's special on Donald Trump, titled "OBJECTified," drew more than 4 million viewers for Fox News Friday night. 



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Liberals ended slavery & conservatives fought for segregation. 
If you don't believe this, check out who still defends the Confederate Flag. - John Fugelsang




Biz/Tech News
Promise poor folks they can be mean to minorities and rich folks will get a tax cut every time.- Tea Pain

Into the abyss...


When Will The Donald Have Time To Be President? He Won't, He'll Delegate.
President-elect Donald J. Trump met in the last week in his office at Trump Tower with three Indian business partners who are building a Trump-branded luxury apartment complex south of Mumbai, raising new questions about how he will separate his business dealings from the work of the government once he is in the White House.


Can u imagine how many zillions of GOP congress hearings there would've been if Clinton or Obama settled a case charging they defrauded people? - Kurt Eichenwald




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Thank you!
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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

I approve of this type of cooperation with the Russians.A Russian Soyuz rocket carrying three new crewmembers to the International Space Station blasted off from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan yesterday. NASA photographer Bill Ingalls captured this long exposure photo of the Soyuz MS-03 spacecraft's liftoff.

Peace.

Friday, November 18, 2016

He sent in the clowns

Donald Trump's Team Shows Few Signs of Post-Election Moderation
President-elect Donald J. Trump is picking up the pace with his cabinet and top White House staff choices, and despite the fervent wishes of some Democrats that some views expressed during the campaign would be moderated after the election, the new administration’s team is maintaining a decidedly conservative bent.


The craziest, most unbelievable story of National Fast Food Day has got to be the one that has come out of Russia, where Burger King just debuted a new item in honor of our president-elect called the Trump burger. It comes with a very spicy sauce, onion rings, and jalapenos; just like Trump’s election, it’s really hard to swallow. - James Corden





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

The only way I can deal with our current reality is by pretending I'm binge watching a super dark Netflix series.- Andy Borowitz






Meanwhile, The Adults Are Trying To Stop Russia From Further Infiltrating The U.S.
The top Democrat on the House Oversight Committee called Thursday for an investigation into Russia's meddling in the US election, in a letter sent to the Republican in charge of the committee.







Being a villain in To Kill a Mockingbird is now a qualification to join the Trump administration. - LOLGOP



Republican Shenanigans

Jeff Sessions was too racist to be a judge so Donald Trump just made him America's top cop. Any questions? - John Fugelsang




Russians are our friends.

Trump Is Surrounding Himself With Conspiracy Clones
The son of top Donald Trump adviser and retired Army Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn regularly shares conspiracy theories, expletive-filled posts, and racially insensitive sentiments on Twitter and Facebook, a CNN KFile review of his social media presence reveals.




Regret to inform that I cannot see the Trump tweets you're referring to, as I am blocked by the f*cking President of the United States. - David Roth




Man With Zero Government Experience Having Trouble Assembling Government for Some Reason. - Andy Borowitz

Trump's Conspiracy Advisor
Alex Jones believes the Sandy Hook massacre was staged with child actors. He’s also a friend and advisor to the president-elect, who he says promised to go on his show. Erica Lafferty, the daughter of slain Sandy Hook Principal Dawn Hochsprung, finds their association appalling.



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Rock The Voter News


Stephen Hawking just said that humanity should find another planet to live on in the next thousand years, but I think we should seriously try to do it in the next four.- Andy Borowitz





Here Is Some Really Bad News
Political people in the United States are watching the chaos in Washington in the moment. But some people in the science community are watching the chaos somewhere else - the Arctic.






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Everyone should really stop picking on #MelaniaTrump. I mean, you wouldn't pick on Eva Braun would you?- Kona Lowell




Biz/Tech News

According to a new poll, almost 60 percent of Americans believe Donald Trump should compromise with Democrats. Like, instead of a wall at the Mexican border, maybe a beaded curtain?- Seth Myers




Bravo Amazon!
Amazon chose to highlight a moment of friendship between a Christian and a Muslim in their Christmas advertisement this year ― and it's exactly the kind of interfaith solidarity the world needs to focus on right now.


A female astronaut is about to become the oldest woman to fly into space. And this is pretty amazing, she’s going to do it without a rocket ship [shows photo of Hillary], just take off with rage.- Seth Myers


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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

A moment caught before sheer happiness.

Peace.