Monday, September 26, 2016

Preparing for the debate...


WARNING: Drinking every time Trump lies during the debate could lead to alcohol poisoning and death
Many of you, no doubt, will be playing drinking games tonight during the 90 commercial-free minutes of the presidential debate between Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton. We at the Raw Story Stomach Pump Incident Prevention Desk would like to warn you that if you’re planning on drinking every time Trump tells a lie, you could be seriously endangering your health and even risking your life.


Across the country, liquor stores reported a desperate run on their merchandise as Americans fortified themselves for what many called "ninety minutes of horror."- Andy Borowitz







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam








Lawyer In Shoot Out With Police In Texas
A gunman who died in a shootout with officers in Houston Monday was a lawyer who lived in the neighborhood and left a car full of weapons near the scene, the city's police chief said.





"A man you can bait with a tweet, is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons." -Hillary Clinton


Republican Shenanigans






Weird. A guy whose campaign is built on calling immigrant criminals when they commit fewer crimes than citizens hates fact checkers.- LOLGOP



Hurrah! Someone Will Fact Check During The Debate
Bloomberg TV will conduct on-screen fact checks of statements made by both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton during Monday night’s debate...The channel’s decision to conduct an on-screen fact-check sets Bloomberg apart from the other major TV networks, none of whom have committed to doing on-screen fact checks during the debate.






“Trump didn’t say the c-word and he spoke in complete sentences. We select him as the winner of the debate.” —the news media, tomorrow - Erik Bransteen

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A White House email account was hacked and a lot of their information was leaked yesterday. They're saying the information was stolen from the Gmail account of a low-level staffer. Then Joe Biden was like, "Technically, my title is vice president."- Jimmy Fallon


Rock The Voter News

Donald has been preparing his entire life to yell at a woman for 90 straight minutes.- LOLGOP







Move Along Kansans, Nothing To See Here
Kansas Governor Sam Brownback enacted his grand “tea party experiment” of Republican government, where he and his Republican-led legislature cut taxes and significantly reduced spending. The result has been catastrophic for the state’s economy and for jobs, but a report that would detail just how catastrophic is now being censored by the Brownback administration.



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Trump was actually describing himself in an interview this week and said that his strongest suit is his temperament. Although sadly, even that suit is made in China.- Jimmy Fallon




Biz/Tech News


From a ratings standpoint, the 2016 election has been an enormous success, the only downside being the possible destruction of all living things on the planet.- Andy Borowitz





Wah! He Wants To Be Condescending To Women! Mission Accomplished.
Fox News host Bill Hemmer claimed over the weekend that men faced reverse sexism because they could not get away with being “condescending” to women on television.






When I was a kid they told us pot makes you violent and lazy. 
I say making violent people lazy prevents a lot of crime. - John Fugelsang





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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

A group of samurai in front of the Sphinx in Egypt, 1863.

Peace.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Trump's Russian Ties Increase

U.S. intel officials probe ties between Trump adviser and Kremlin
U.S. intelligence officials are seeking to determine whether an American businessman identified by Donald Trump as one of his foreign policy advisers has opened up private communications with senior Russian officials — including talks about the possible lifting of economic sanctions if the Republican nominee becomes president, according to multiple sources who have been briefed on the issue.


People who are voting Trump because of the Supreme Court are essentially saying they'd rather see the world explode than two dudes kissing. - Emanuel Zbeda on Twitter







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Wow, Peace In Colombia? Really?
Leaders of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia have given their unanimous support to a peace agreement reached last month with the government.





Perhaps if we all started referring to Climate Change as 'ISIS' the media might take the threat seriously.- John Fugelsang





Yep, Most Americans And EaglesThink Trump Is Nutz
A majority of voters say Donald Trump would allow the U.S. to default on its debt and that he would misuse the power of the presidency to punish his political opponents.
And nearly half of voters — 46 percent — say the GOP nominee would use a nuclear weapon to attack ISIS or another foreign enemy.






Republican Shenanigans

If you actually thought Ted Cruz had principles, I'm sure some news organization wants to interview you right now.- LOLGOP





30% Of Voters Have No Idea WTF Trump Is Doing
Nearly a third of voters say they know little about Donald Trump’s positions ahead of the first presidential debate on Monday, a new poll found.
Thirty percent know “not much” or “nothing at all” about the Republican nominee's stances, according to a Pew survey released Friday. A smaller percentage, 18 percent, said they know “not much” or “nothing at all” about Hillary Clinton’s positions.


Trump Warns That Clinton Will Rig Debate by Using Facts - Andy Borowitz






Uh Oh. We May See Trump Take A Perp Walk Before Election Day
Donald Trump committed perjury. Or he looked into the faces of the Republican faithful and knowingly lied. There is no third option.






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Rock The Voter News

Hillary Disobeys Obama!
Hillary Clinton would sign a controversial bill allowing families of victims of the 9/11 terrorist attacks to sue Saudi Arabia in U.S. courts, her campaign says, breaking with President Obama.


They’re offering the debate in virtual reality, so if you want to feel like you’re actually on stage during the debate, here’s your chance, Jeb.- Jimmy Fallon




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A letter written by George Washington in 1786 is going on sale for $35,000. The letter is to a friend and says, “Don’t tell anyone, but I was born in Kenya.”- Jimmy Fallon


Biz/Tech News


A UPS Drone Will Be Coming To A Location Near You!
United Parcel Service Inc. UPS -0.42 % said Friday it successfully used a drone to deliver medicine to an island near Boston, jumping into a race with competitors such as Amazon.




In Breaking Bad 2 a sick botany teacher grows weed to provide for his family & the whole town mellows out & everyone gets along.- John Fugelsang






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Just kidding, I showed up for work today! Thank you for visiting!




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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

I shudder to think that this Bengal Tiger pounced on the photographer right after the shot.

Give Peace A Chance.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

I report, you decide.

Mike Pence, Ivanka Trump & Donald Trump Jr. to visit Colorado 
Donald Trump's daughter, Ivanka Trump, will attend a breakfast in Denver ... Donald Trump's son, Donald Trump Jr., will hold a rally at the Mesa County...


I don't know about you but repeated sexy photographs of a father and daughter give me the major creeps.






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


Trump is now advocating an increase in "stop and frisk" by police. So when he asked Black voters a few weeks ago, "What do you have to lose" by voting for him, they now have an answer: just their civil liberties! - Andy Borowitz







This New York Boy Reflects The Best In America
A six-year-old boy from New York has won the respect of US President Barack Obama and thousands of others after he offered to take in Omran Daqneesh, a little boy who was injured after his home in Aleppo, Syria, was bombed.
The image of five-year-old Omran sat alone in an ambulance, covered in dust and blood, shocked the world and inspired six-year-old Alex, from Scarsdale, New York, to take action.







Republican Shenanigans

Many in nation are tired of explaining things to idiots. - Andy Borowitz





Putin's Pal Proclaims Trump Win!
One of Vladimir Putin’s closest friends said on Thursday he believed Donald Trump would be the next president of the United States and that Western leaders were no match for the Russian president.




AHNC Trivia
I ran across an interesting website while searching for the Las Vegas odds on the presidential election. The website is updated every five minutes and covers not only the presidential election but all elections.
It is called Election Betting Odds By Maxim Lott and John Stossel. Yes, that John Stossel and Maxim Lott of Fox News.
I report, you decide.



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Rock The Voter News


Trump: NO Fact Checking At Debate
Donald Trump says debate moderator Lester Holt shouldn’t try to fact-check the candidates at next week’s presidential debate.




Republicans are suing to stop millions of Americans getting paid for working overtime. Republicans. 
Not Mexico. Not China. Republicans. - LOLGOP

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Biz/Tech News





This is what this election is about: Rich people taking money from poor people's pockets while screaming about bad & scary brown people are. - LOLGOP


Trump Makes Money Whenever And Wherever He Can!
Donald Trump’s presidential campaign has paid his family's businesses more than $8.2 million, according to a POLITICO analysis of campaign finance filings, which reveals an integrated business and political operation without precedent in national politics.







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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo

My friend Yerlin took this photograph yesterday near her house in Guanacaste province, Costa Rica. It was a foggy day but the rainbow somehow managed to break through.

Peace.