It's as plain as black and white

Jill Stein insists Trump is less dangerous than Clinton – and attacks Bernie Sanders as a DC insider
...Like Trump, Stein is also a fan of Russian president Vladimir Putin and appears on the Putin-controlled cable news network RT (Russia Today). Her trip to Russia and an appearance on RT sparked conspiracy theories that Stein was a recruit from Trump’s former aide Paul Manafort and Clinton foe Julian Assange, who Stein regards as a hero.


What is this sudden love for Putin? Trump and now Jill Stein cozying up to Russians. Russians?

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Trump Implies Clinton Should Condemn Whole Countries Over 'Radical Islam'
• GOP lawmaker’s Facebook eruption: Round up Muslim sympathizers and run them out of our country
• Syria Cease-fire Not Dead Yet, Diplomats Contend
• Turkey Braces for Possible Spike in Ethnic Tensions
• Obama leads summit to aid refugees

Trump's supporters believe that as far as terrorism goes, Trump is "tougher" than Hillary -- because, presumably, nothing makes you tougher than inheriting millions of dollars from your dad. - Andy Borowitz

France Trumps Trump: Builds A Wall!
After weeks of preparation, workers have begun building a 4-meter (13-foot) high wall in northern France to try to keep migrants from sneaking onto ferries crossing the English Channel.
The kilometer-long (0.6 mile-long) wall is the latest barrier against thousands of migrants living in a makeshift camp near the port town of Calais.

I am in favor of profiling people if that will protect our country from danger. Specifically, I am in favor of profiling people with narcissistic personality disorder and preventing them from becoming President. - Andy Borowitz


Republican Shenanigans

• Trump Jr’s ‘Skittles’ tweet is based on two different white supremacist memes — and Nazi propaganda
• Mike Pence dismisses "outrage" over Trump Jr.'s anti-refugee tweet 
• Photog Whose Image Was Used In Trump Jr.'s Skittles Tweet: 'I Was A Refugee'
• GOP panics over N.C. Senate race
• Pam Bondi: Returning Trump’s money would have looked like I got caught taking a bribe

Donald Trump Jr.: Like Donald Trump Sr., but without the empathy. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Spent Charity Money On Legal Bills, Oh, And A Painting Of Himself Too!
Donald Trump spent more than a quarter-million dollars from his charitable foundation to settle lawsuits that involved the billionaire’s for-profit businesses, according to interviews and a review of legal documents.








From now on, instead of calling the Trump Foundation “a charity”, can we call it “a Kickstarter for Trump’s legal bills”? - Erik Bransteen

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Trump’s calls to torture and mistreat prisoners go against the very values we are fighting to defend. We’re better than this.- Hillary Clinton


Rock The Voter News

• Obama jabs at Trump in final UN address
• Clinton Calls Tulsa Police Shooting Of Unarmed Black Man 'Intolerable'
• Bernie Sanders: 'This is not the time for a protest vote'

Do people notice Hillary is copying my airplane rallies - she puts the plane behind her like I have been doing from the beginning. - Donald J. Trump Tweeted today

Not gonna vote for Trump. Not gonna do it.
It wouldn't be prudent.

Bush Is Voting For Hillary
Former President George H.W. Bush is bucking his party's presidential nominee and plans to vote for Hillary Clinton in November, according to a member of another famous political family, the Kennedys.

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Reminder: Rich people who don't want to pay for anything broke our economy, not immigrants or refugees.- LOLGOP

Biz/Tech News

• US oil settles at $43.44 a barrel, up 14 cents, or 0.32%
• AAA: Drivers waste $2.1B a year buying premium gas
• Mylan CEO's mother used position with education group to boost EpiPen sales nationwide

Convincing people who will die of heart disease they should be more afraid of immigrants than losing their health insurance is some racket.- LOLGOP

Exxon Being Investigated By The SEC
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission is investigating how Exxon Mobil Corp. has valued its assets in the face of the current plunge in oil prices—and how it estimates their future worth in a world of increasing climate change regulations...


I am grateful to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt for briefly taking airtime away from Donald Trump. - Andy Borowitz

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Odd News

• Angelina dumped Brad after private eye uncovered Marion Cotillard affair
• Are you happy or sad? MIT researchers say new device uses wireless signals to detect your feelings.
• Historic Massachusetts inn that inspired Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: Please just give us our stuff back
• Robbery suspect with his hands handcuffed behind his back somehow manages to take off with a police car
• Olive oil helps free man stuck in jetty while fetching phone

Time To Deflate Photo

Men building the San Francisco Bay Bridge, 1935. It looks so surreal, so stark, as though it was an Edward Hopper painting.

Peace.

Confucius say...

Trump says bombs will be going off ‘all over the country’ because ‘we’ve been weak’
Reacting to the explosions in New Jersey and New York this weekend, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump warned Monday the U.S. may see more terrorist strikes because "our country's been weak."


When Trump is President, the first thing he will do after a terror attack is go on TV and say, "I knew this would happen. See how right I was about this? This is an amazing day for me." - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Trump accuses White House of downplaying Islamic State threat after bombings
• FBI says there's "no indication" of a terror cell in the New York-area bombings 
• Corey Lewandowski Tries To Blame All Immigrants For New York Bomber
• Clinton accuses Trump of helping Islamic State recruit more fighters
• Cookie box with Arabic writing causes panic after being left at Pennsylvania gas station
• Marine drill instructor 'put Muslim recruit in the clothes dryer'

1) Read tweets about Ahmad Khan Rahami
2) Note who's excited for a terror attack to help their candidate
3) Don't vote for their candidate
- John Fugelsang

BREAKING: Putin endorses Trump, which is totally not weird and nobody should freak out over a Russian dictator taking sides in US election. - Tea Party Cat

Wow. That Was Fast.
Ahmad Khan Rahami, earlier named as a "person of interest" in the weekend explosions in New York City and New Jersey, was taken into custody and hospitalized this morning after a shootout with police in Linden, New Jersey, the Union County acting prosecutor said today.

Republican Shenanigans

• Trump camp: Clinton trying to distract from "horrible record" by accusing Trump of treason
• Twitter explodes at Andrea Mitchell for declaring Trump ‘tough’ on terror but Clinton ‘off message’
•  Minnesota police chief shames Fox News after they try goading him to bash Somali immigrants
• Republican friendships shatter over Trump
• Trump's Response to the New York Bombing: Racial Profiling on a Mass Scale

STOP comparing Trump to Hitler - Hitler didn't lie to get 5 deferments to avoid serving in a war he supported.- John Fugelsang

Security Officials Want Transparency From Trump
A Newsweek article about Donald Trump’s foreign business entanglements has prompted 55 former U.S. government and national security officials to publish an open letter calling for transparency regarding the Trump Organization’s dealings.

Scarborough Is No Different From Trump, Both Are Opportunists
The entire panel of guests on MSNBC’s Morning Joe took on show’s namesake host, Joe Scarborough, on Monday after he came to the defense of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s thinly-veiled assassination comments about Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton.




Clinton & Ali opposed the war, defied draft.  Trump, W, Cheney, Rush supported the war, dodged draft.  Notice a difference?- John Fugelsang

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When Hillary Clinton says she’s going to make public colleges and universities tuition-free, you know what? That's a very big deal.- Bernie Sanders

Rock The Voter News

• Trump leads Clinton by 2 points nationwide
• Biden: "I’m not going to stay on" in a Clinton White House 
• Why Hillary Clinton Gets Interrupted More than Donald Trump

Hillary Is A Terrorist? I Bet bin Laden Thought Otherwise.
Donald Trump claimed in a statement Monday afternoon that terrorist groups are “hoping and praying” Hillary Clinton is elected president, turning a criticism she often lobs his way on its head.

Remember: This November you can help elect President Donald Trump just by voting for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein!  Happy Election Year!- Seth MacFarlane


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George Wallace didn't come up with segregation either, but at least he never tried to blame it on Hillary Clinton.- LOLGOP


Biz/Tech News

• US oil settles at $43.30 a barrel, up 27 cents, or 0.63%
• Kmart Said to Close 64 More Stores as Sears Division Retrenches
• Donald Trump’s tax plan now favors the ultra-rich even more

TRUMP ECONOMIC PLAN CALLS FOR EVERY AMERICAN TO INHERIT MILLIONS FROM FATHER. - Andy Borowitz

I Would've Named The B-21 "Ridiculously Expensive"
The US Air Force has picked a name to go with the number for its next long-range bomber—even though it will be nearly a decade before the aircraft comes into service. After sifting through 2,100 unique names submitted in a contest run by the Air Force Global Strike Command (the successor to the Strategic Air Command), the Air Force's leadership selected "Raider" as the official name for the B-21.

I Just Wish NFL Players Could Find A Way To Protest Without Starting A National Dialogue - The Onion

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Odd News

• Man gets wedding ring back, 37 years after losing it in sea
• Officials discover 'escape hatch' at Oklahoma halfway house
• This Mushroom Suit Absorbs Your Body After You Die
• Kissing Chickens Can Spread Salmonella, CDC Warns
• Tour guides: College is skipping dorm over pot complaints

Time To Deflate Photo

A scary photoshop! YIKES, not that I am terrified of sharks.

Peace.

Trump says Obama was born in Hawaii, not Kenya!

So Will Trump Follow Through On His $5 Million Birther Charity Promise?
So now that Donald Trump -- after years of race-baiting and rumor-mongering -- believes that President Obama was born in the United States, will he follow through on his promise to donate $5 million to charity once he was given proof?


The birther movement was about delegitimizing the first African-American president in our history. - Bernie Sanders

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Guantanamo prisoner says Saudi 'royal' was part of an effort to recruit him for violent extremist acts
• US says it killed new ISIS information minister in drone strike
• Suicide Bomber Kills At Least 25 In Pakistan Mosque
• South Sudan refugees reach one million mark
• Trump revives creepy gun rhetoric against Clinton: Disarm her bodyguards — ‘let’s see what happens to her’

So the guy who got a 1-Y medical deferment as a teenager is now, as an overweight 70-year-old fast food junkie, healthy and fit for service? - Tina Dupuy

Trump Wonders if He's Doing Well Enough in Polls to Start Saying Nazi Stuff Again. - Andy Borowitz

Hillary Hater Is Gonna Be Sad
Sweden's court of appeals on Friday rejected a plea from WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange to drop an arrest warrant against him as a suspect in an alleged rape in 2010.

Gasoline Spill In Alabama
A pipeline leak that spilled about 6,000 barrels of gasoline in rural Alabama means drivers across the eastern U.S. will likely be paying more at the pump.


Aerial photo of two of the three mine water retention ponds at the site of a pipeline leak that spilled an estimated 250,000 gallons of gasoline in Shelby County, Ala. The retention pond on the right is where the gasoline has been contained.(DUH!) (Courtesy Colonial Pipeline)






Donald Trump is like Jesus for Christians who've rejected the teachings of Jesus. - John Fugelsang

Republican Shenanigans

• Trump Drops False ‘Birther’ Theory, but Floats a New One: Clinton Started It
• What Donald Trump has said through the years about where President Obama was born
• Black Caucus Tears Into Trump After Birther Debacle: He's 'Deplorable'
• Shep Smith slams Trump for his ‘8-minute commercial’ birther fiasco: He ‘punked the media’
• KY Democrat calls for impeachment of Tea Party Gov. Bevin after Hillary ‘bloodshed’ threat
• The NY Times Made A Video Of Real Voices From Trump Supporters--Uncensored. It Will Make You Sick.
• Minnesota man hangs noose to scare away thieves swiping his Trump signs — but he’s ‘far from racist’

Donald Trump assures you Hillary was a birther first and he's got investigators in Hawaii with proof of it that he'll show you sometime. - John Fugelsang

NOTICE: I posted this two days ago and it is not true! Mea culpa!

Not only should cannabis be legalized, it should also be forcibly administered to Congress.- John Fugelsang

The White House has announced that America will accept 110,000 refugees next year. Meanwhile, Canada announced if Donald Trump wins, they’ll accept 110 million refugees.- Conan O'Brien

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Whaaat? Is The Media Turning Against Trump?
The television reporters following Donald Trump on Friday erased video of a hotel tour to protest being denied editorial access to the Republican nominee.
Staffers from the major TV networks made the decision after the campaign refused to allow a producer to join Trump on a tour of his new Washington, D.C., hotel...


Either way, he's gone from lying about a racist conspiracy to threatening a woman's life in less than 7 hours. - LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

• Hillary Clinton Courts Muslim Voters In Swing States
• London mayor says Clinton the most experienced candidate running for president
• Michelle Obama Rips Trump's 'Birther' Comments Stumping for Clinton

Where Is The Liberal Media?
Americans' trust in the media has sunk to a new low, and a bitter presidential race may be to blame, a Gallup survey showed Wednesday.


Emotional Obama tearfully thanks Trump for granting him citizenship. - Andy Borowitz

Ivanka Trump abruptly ended an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine because she felt the questions were “unfair.” Of course it’s understandable, most of us wither under the intense political grilling of Cosmopolitan magazine.- Conan O'Brien

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Trump boasting that he got POTUS to show a birth cert makes him the 1st man in history to brag that someone proved he's a liar.- John Fugelsang


Biz/Tech News

• Oil ends at mid-August low, logs a more than 6% weekly loss
• Tech Firm Claims Halliburton Stole Secrets
• Exxon probe faces uphill climb amid ambiguous accounting rules

Trump Says He Gets Daily Exercise by Changing Positions. - Andy Borowitz

California added 63,000 jobs in August, 42% of U.S. total
California employers quieted any lingering doubts about the state’s economy in August, as an uptick in hiring helped absorb hordes of new job-seekers. 






Sure, we have self-driving cars now, but what about self-folding calzones? Do I have to do ALL of the work?- Stephen Colbert

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Thank you so much for visiting. I hope you have a great weekend.

NOTICE: Yerlin's thumb is doing great!

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Odd News

• You Can't Make This Up: Stage Collapses After Trump Birther Trainwreck
• The male Pill is coming - and it's going to change everything
• Philadelphia transit agency to test urine-repelling paint
• NYC museum invites viewers to use 18-karat gold toilet
• Strange brews: Making beer with Boston river water

Time To Deflate Photo

The tipoff for the NUT Finals!

Peace.