Monday, September 19, 2016

Confucius say...


Trump says bombs will be going off ‘all over the country’ because ‘we’ve been weak’
Reacting to the explosions in New Jersey and New York this weekend, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump warned Monday the U.S. may see more terrorist strikes because "our country's been weak."


When Trump is President, the first thing he will do after a terror attack is go on TV and say, "I knew this would happen. See how right I was about this? This is an amazing day for me." - Andy Borowitz






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


1) Read tweets about Ahmad Khan Rahami
2) Note who's excited for a terror attack to help their candidate
3) Don't vote for their candidate
- John Fugelsang







BREAKING: Putin endorses Trump, which is totally not weird and nobody should freak out over a Russian dictator taking sides in US election. - Tea Party Cat


Wow. That Was Fast.
Ahmad Khan Rahami, earlier named as a "person of interest" in the weekend explosions in New York City and New Jersey, was taken into custody and hospitalized this morning after a shootout with police in Linden, New Jersey, the Union County acting prosecutor said today.








Republican Shenanigans

STOP comparing Trump to Hitler - Hitler didn't lie to get 5 deferments to avoid serving in a war he supported.- John Fugelsang



Security Officials Want Transparency From Trump
A Newsweek article about Donald Trump’s foreign business entanglements has prompted 55 former U.S. government and national security officials to publish an open letter calling for transparency regarding the Trump Organization’s dealings.







Scarborough Is No Different From Trump, Both Are Opportunists
The entire panel of guests on MSNBC’s Morning Joe took on show’s namesake host, Joe Scarborough, on Monday after he came to the defense of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s thinly-veiled assassination comments about Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton.




Clinton & Ali opposed the war, defied draft.  Trump, W, Cheney, Rush supported the war, dodged draft.  Notice a difference?- John Fugelsang




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When Hillary Clinton says she’s going to make public colleges and universities tuition-free, you know what? That's a very big deal.- Bernie Sanders





Rock The Voter News




Hillary Is A Terrorist? I Bet bin Laden Thought Otherwise.
Donald Trump claimed in a statement Monday afternoon that terrorist groups are “hoping and praying” Hillary Clinton is elected president, turning a criticism she often lobs his way on its head.










Remember: This November you can help elect President Donald Trump just by voting for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein!  Happy Election Year!- Seth MacFarlane


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George Wallace didn't come up with segregation either, but at least he never tried to blame it on Hillary Clinton.- LOLGOP


Biz/Tech News





TRUMP ECONOMIC PLAN CALLS FOR EVERY AMERICAN TO INHERIT MILLIONS FROM FATHER. - Andy Borowitz



I Would've Named The B-21 "Ridiculously Expensive"
The US Air Force has picked a name to go with the number for its next long-range bomber—even though it will be nearly a decade before the aircraft comes into service. After sifting through 2,100 unique names submitted in a contest run by the Air Force Global Strike Command (the successor to the Strategic Air Command), the Air Force's leadership selected "Raider" as the official name for the B-21.






I Just Wish NFL Players Could Find A Way To Protest Without Starting A National Dialogue - The Onion




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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

A scary photoshop! YIKES, not that I am terrified of sharks.

Peace.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Trump says Obama was born in Hawaii, not Kenya!


So Will Trump Follow Through On His $5 Million Birther Charity Promise?
So now that Donald Trump -- after years of race-baiting and rumor-mongering -- believes that President Obama was born in the United States, will he follow through on his promise to donate $5 million to charity once he was given proof?


The birther movement was about delegitimizing the first African-American president in our history. - Bernie Sanders






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

So the guy who got a 1-Y medical deferment as a teenager is now, as an overweight 70-year-old fast food junkie, healthy and fit for service? - Tina Dupuy





Trump Wonders if He's Doing Well Enough in Polls to Start Saying Nazi Stuff Again. - Andy Borowitz




Hillary Hater Is Gonna Be Sad
Sweden's court of appeals on Friday rejected a plea from WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange to drop an arrest warrant against him as a suspect in an alleged rape in 2010.














Gasoline Spill In Alabama
A pipeline leak that spilled about 6,000 barrels of gasoline in rural Alabama means drivers across the eastern U.S. will likely be paying more at the pump.


Aerial photo of two of the three mine water retention ponds at the site of a pipeline leak that spilled an estimated 250,000 gallons of gasoline in Shelby County, Ala. The retention pond on the right is where the gasoline has been contained.(DUH!) (Courtesy Colonial Pipeline)






Donald Trump is like Jesus for Christians who've rejected the teachings of Jesus. - John Fugelsang




Republican Shenanigans

Donald Trump assures you Hillary was a birther first and he's got investigators in Hawaii with proof of it that he'll show you sometime. - John Fugelsang


NOTICE: I posted this two days ago and it is not true! Mea culpa!





Not only should cannabis be legalized, it should also be forcibly administered to Congress.- John Fugelsang




The White House has announced that America will accept 110,000 refugees next year. Meanwhile, Canada announced if Donald Trump wins, they’ll accept 110 million refugees.- Conan O'Brien

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Whaaat? Is The Media Turning Against Trump?
The television reporters following Donald Trump on Friday erased video of a hotel tour to protest being denied editorial access to the Republican nominee.
Staffers from the major TV networks made the decision after the campaign refused to allow a producer to join Trump on a tour of his new Washington, D.C., hotel...


Either way, he's gone from lying about a racist conspiracy to threatening a woman's life in less than 7 hours. - LOLGOP





Rock The Voter News

Where Is The Liberal Media?
Americans' trust in the media has sunk to a new low, and a bitter presidential race may be to blame, a Gallup survey showed Wednesday.


Emotional Obama tearfully thanks Trump for granting him citizenship. - Andy Borowitz




Ivanka Trump abruptly ended an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine because she felt the questions were “unfair.” Of course it’s understandable, most of us wither under the intense political grilling of Cosmopolitan magazine.- Conan O'Brien

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Trump boasting that he got POTUS to show a birth cert makes him the 1st man in history to brag that someone proved he's a liar.- John Fugelsang


Biz/Tech News

Trump Says He Gets Daily Exercise by Changing Positions. - Andy Borowitz






California added 63,000 jobs in August, 42% of U.S. total
California employers quieted any lingering doubts about the state’s economy in August, as an uptick in hiring helped absorb hordes of new job-seekers. 






Sure, we have self-driving cars now, but what about self-folding calzones? Do I have to do ALL of the work?- Stephen Colbert





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Thank you so much for visiting. I hope you have a great weekend.


NOTICE: Yerlin's thumb is doing great!

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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

The tipoff for the NUT Finals!

Peace.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Trump Appears On Dr. Oz


Donald Trump Says Campaigning Is 'a Form of Exercise' on 'Dr. Oz'
Donald Trump talked about his medical history on "The Dr. Oz Show" and said of campaigning, "In its own way, it's a pretty healthy act." Trump ...



Trump went to Oz & walked away without a brain, a heart or courage. - John Fugelsang



I retweeted Cher.



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam



More Leaked Emails
Condoleezza Rice reportedly criticized former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld  in an email to Colin Powell for his handling of the war in Iraq...






Think of the awful things we know about Donald Trump. Now, think about what he doesn't want us to know. - LOLGOP


Uh, let me guess -- the media?


Trump Says He Gets Daily Exercise by Changing Positions. - Andy Borowitz



Republican Shenanigans






Today Republican candidate Donald Trump decided to clear the air and reveal the results of a recent physical, on “The Dr. Oz Show.” Which is an interesting move. Like for Donald Trump, you know, sure, Dr. Oz is a respected doctor — you know, in the same way that Dr. Dre is a respected doctor.- James Corden




Click graphic for larger image
IMHO: Trump's Russian Ties Are Going To Bring Him Down
On April 16, 2013, federal agents burst into a swanky apartment at Trump Tower in New York City as part of a larger raid that rounded up 29 suspected members of two global gambling rings with operations allegedly overseen by an alleged Russian mob boss named Alimzhan Tokhtakhounov. The Russian was not nabbed by US law enforcement. Since being indicted in the United States a decade earlier for allegedly rigging an ice skating competition at the 2002 Olympics, he had been living in Russia, beyond the reach of Western authorities. And this new gambling indictment did not appear to inconvenience Tokhtakhounov. Seven months after the bust, he was a VIP attendee at Donald Trump's Miss Universe 2013 contest held in Moscow. In fact, Tokhtakhounov hit the red carpet within minutes of Trump. An alleged crime lord who was a fugitive from American justice was apparently a celebrity guest at Trump's event.


The bad news for Donald Trump is that narcissistic personality disorder cannot be cleared up with antibiotics. - Andy Borowitz



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Judge Defines Discrimination To GOP Lawyers
Attorneys defending Indiana Gov. Mike Pence's order to bar agencies from helping Syrian refugees resettle in his state faced unusually fierce questioning before a federal appeals court Wednesday, suggesting the panel might side with a lower court that found the order discriminatory.


Do that thing where you're not a dick. - Jesus (translated) - John Fugelsang






Rock The Voter News



Up In $moke
No need to shed a tear over John Boehner's departure from politics. He may never have to pay for another cigarette again.







Hillary Clinton Has Brain Pneumonia, Trump Demands To Be Sworn In Immediately . - Wonkette

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The upcoming movie about President Barack Obama’s college years reportedly shows a young Obama shirtless, smoking cigarettes and smoking weed. Or as the president calls him: 2017 Obama.- Jimmy Fallon


Biz/Tech News

Hey, remember when those "illegals" outsourced your job, crashed the housing market & cut taxes for the rich?  Vote for a white billionaire. - John Fugelsang







I love the little people, they make my house pretty.

Only Little People Pay Taxes - Leona Helmsley (a nemesis and female version of Trump)
Donald Trump Jr. on Wednesday defended his father's decision not to release his tax returns, saying scrutiny of the documents would distract from Donald Trump's campaign message.






Wal-Mart is working on a self-driving shopping cart that would return itself to the store after you’re done using it. Though the minute that Wal-Mart shopping cart becomes self-aware, it’s going to drive itself to Target and never look back.- Jimmy Fallon





In 10 years I'm opening up a tattoo removal parlor called 'Mom, What's That?' - John Fugelsang





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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo
A Police officer issuing a woman a ticket for wearing a bikini on a beach at Rimini, Italy, in 1957. Police brutality!!!

Peace.