Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Trump Leaps Over Wall


Trump on Mexican trip: 'Who pays for the wall? We didn't discuss'
Republican nominee Donald Trump said Wednesday that he discussed the wall he wants to build along the southern border with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto -- but not which country would pay for it.


Obama Pays Mexico Five Billion Dollars to Keep Donald Trump. - Andy Borowitz
The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

“I have been assured by the government of Mexico that Donald J. Trump will be well taken care of and, if he proves to be a productive member of their society, will be provided a pathway to Mexican citizenship,” Obama said.- Andy Borowitz






What Happens In Israel, Stays In Israel
A U.S. appeals court on Wednesday threw out a $655.5 million verdict against the Palestinian Authority and the Palestine Liberation Organization for damages suffered by American families from terrorist attacks in Israel.


Donald Trump's campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, spoke about Trump's new immigration policy over the weekend, and said he will ensure that enforcement is humane. Humane? I don't think it's a good sign when a candidate is talking about undocumented immigrants the same way KFC talks about chickens.- Seth Myers






Republican Shenanigans

A 25-year-old has scammed over $1 million from Trump supporters. It’s being called "the first time in years that the Trump name has actually made someone money."- Conan O'Brien





Yes, I have a fat head. Why do you ask?


Maine GOP Governor Vows Never To Speak To Press Again. 
Maine Gov. Paul LePage on Wednesday blamed a reporter in part for his fiery outburst to a state lawmaker last week and vowed never to speak with the press again.
LePage last Thursday left an obscenity-laced voicemail on Democratic state Rep. Drew Gattine’s phone after he was told by a reporter that Gattine had called the governor a racist. He ordered Gattine to “prove that I’m a racist” and warned “I am after you.”






Trump is somewhere on the spectrum between sweaty timeshare salesman and Dickens villain recruiting pickpockets. - LOLGOP




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Am I too late for a Matthew McConaughey “alt-right, alt-right, alt-right” tweet? - Conan O'Brien





Rock The Voter News


North Carolina Voters Have Restrictions Lifted
The U.S. Supreme Court on Wednesday rejected a bid by North Carolina to reinstate for this November’s elections several voting restrictions, including a requirement that people show identification at the polls.




If we're going to build a wall, the day Trump is in Mexico would seem the best day to do it. - Mrs. Betty Bowers



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Biz/Tech News

Apple next week is expected to unveil the iPhone 7. "How's the camera?" asked Anthony Weiner.- Seth Myers





Million Dollar+ Home Sales Fall
Sales of homes priced above $1 million fell 4 percent in July from a year ago, according to the National Association of Realtors. Activity is far more robust at the entry level and middle of the market, thanks to a drop in mortgage interest rates and pent-up demand.


It was reported this week that scientists from the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence or SETI have detected a signal from a distant star, and they think it could be proof of alien life. Scientists say this could be the sign of a highly advanced alien civilization. While the aliens say, “We attack at dawn.”- James Corden
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Trump has not donated to All Hat No Cattle.
How about you?




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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

A young boar got stuck in a fence, and the whole family turned up to see him set free.

Peace.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

One Is A Weiner And The Other Is A Dick

Donald Trump Called 'Amnesty Don' on MSNBC's 'Morning Joe'
Donald Trump has dished out quite a few hard-hitting nicknames during his campaign, but how will he react now that one's been pinned on him?


Trump accuses Anthony Weiner of possibly leakin' classified information.  Turns out it was nothin' we hadn't seen already. - Tea Pain






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

The Quarterback Who Stayed Seated
Colin Kaepernick has America's attention: so what does he do now?
It’s one thing to spark debate by refusing to stand for the anthem. But the quarterback now has to take meaningful action if he is to fight injustice





Anthony Weiner would still be in The House if he'd just had an actual affair w/a mistress like a normal congressman. - John Fugelsang


Trump Is Profiting From His Own Campaign
In his hostile takeover of the Republican presidential primary, Donald Trump, novice politician, defied virtually every rule in the GOP handbook. But some question whether the billionaire developer, whose business savvy is his chief political asset, is making money by running for the White House – and breaking some big campaign finance rules along the way.




Turns all those things you thought would ruin your career were just qualifications to help run the Trump campaign. - LOLGOP


Republican Shenanigans


If Anthony Weiner had successfully cheated on his wife many times, Republicans would have punished him by making their nominee for president. - LOLGOP






Red States: Are They The GOP Talking Point Of Freeloaders?
States that voted against President Obama twice are more dependent on the federal government, according to an analysis of new data released by the Pew Charitable Trusts on Monday.
All told, the average state that voted against Obama twice relied on federal funding for an average of 33.8 percent of its budget, the report found.




Leaked Medical Records Reveal Trump is Gradually Turning into Carrot. - Andy Borowitz





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This election will prove, once and for all, that Republicans can run a putrid ham sandwich and get 40 percent of the vote.- Tina Dupuy





Rock The Voter News

“The estimated cost of a border wall with Mexico is five billion dollars,” a wall advocate said. “We could easily blow the same amount of money on infrastructure repairs and have nothing to show for it but functioning highways.” - Andy Borowitz





"Anthony Weiner is a sexual deviant!" say supporters of an adulterer who said he'd date his own daughter. - OhNoSheTwitnt

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Penny Pinching Pence?
Mike Pence was a young lawyer on the rise, challenging a longtime Democratic congressman in a Republican-leaning Indiana district.
And then, scandal.
Campaign finance records from the 1990 effort showed that Pence, then 31, had been using political donations to pay the mortgage on his house, his personal credit card bill, groceries, golf tournament fees and car payments for his wife.


News that Pence had vanished touched off a panic in Indiana, where residents feared that he might return to resume his political career.- Andy Borowitz






Biz/Tech News





The FBI is investigating whether Russian intelligence agencies have hacked the computers at The New York Times, or as the Times reported it, "Putin named world's sexiest leader."- Stephen Colbert



New Airfare Option
Dreaming of a vacation, but don't have the cash for the airfare? You can now pay for your plane tickets in monthly installments.










Gene Wilder - One of the truly great talents of our time. He blessed every film we did with his magic & he blessed me with his friendship. - Mel Brooks



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

The Athabasca Glacier is one of the six principal 'toes' of the Columbia Icefield, located in the Canadian Rockies.

Peace.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Shame On Anthony Weiner!

Huma Abedin To Separate From Anthony Weiner After New Sexting 
Top Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin is separating from her husband, former New York Rep. Anthony Weiner, according to a statement ...


I imagine child protective services will visit Mr. Weiner, if he hasn't left the country,


Anthony Weiner has hit rock bottom so hard, so many times, he's legally fracking.- John Fugelsang





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Remember that time I created the whole universe just so I could focus on one small tribe in the Middle East? Haha. I was on a lot of drugs.- TheGoodGodAbove Tweet






Iraq Carnage Continues
Attackers armed with suicide vests, rifles and grenades killed 18 people in the Iraqi oasis town of Ain al-Tamer, many of them guests at a wedding party, officials said Monday.


The FBI is investigating whether Russian intelligence agencies have hacked the computers at The New York Times, or as the Times reported it, "Putin named world's sexiest leader."- Stephen Colbert





Republican Shenanigans

Trying to use Anthony Weiner behavior to smear women is creepier behavior than Anthony Weiner behavior. - John Fugelsang








Dirty Old Republican
Chelsea Clinton allegedly once had to endure advances from the late former Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-S.C.) while seated next to him at a lunch when she was a teenager.







Can Anthony Weiner please send a dick pic to our crumbling public school system so the media will cover it?- John Fugelsang




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Anthony Weiner is a terrible husband who publicly humiliated his own wife, say fans of Donald Trump. - John Fugelsang





Rock The Voter News

Hiring someone who has a philandering husband is bad judgement, says philandering husband.- LOLGOP






Two State's Election Systems Hacked
Hackers have breached databases for election systems in Illinois and Arizona, according to state election and law enforcement officials.





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Biz/Tech News





Is Mylan Seeing The Light?
Drugmaker Mylan (MYL) said Monday that it will offer a generic version of the life-saving allergy treatment EpiPen for half the list price of the brand-name treatment after it became the center of a national controversy over skyrocketing drug prices.


There's no border wall Donald Trump can build that's big enough to hide the giant 'Help Wanted' sign white people keep putting up.- John Fugelsang







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It is a different perspective!

Peace.