Monday, May 9, 2016

Donald Trump: My Administration Will Hike Taxes on the Rich


Donald Trump: My Administration Will Hike Taxes on the Rich
Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump signaled Sunday that the wealthy would see higher taxes under his administration, breaking with conservative orthodoxy and his own tax plan.


I'd like to thank all the trolls for teaching us that Bill Clinton's history w/women means Donald Trump should get the nuclear launch codes. - John Fugelsang






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


Tomorrow, Obama national security team will begin debating plan to arm moderate Republican rebels. - Jeffrey Goldberg






WMD = Weapon of Math Destruction
An Ivy League professor said his flight was delayed because a fellow passenger thought the math equations he was writing might be a sign he was a terrorist.







To correct an earlier rumor, Donald Trump will appoint Sarah Palin to head the "Department of Blamin' Stuff on Obama." - Tea Pain



Republican Shenanigans


Which is scarier to Republicans: gay couples eating cake, trans people using the correct restroom or poor people getting health insurance?- LOLGOP



SCOTUS Nominee: Yes To Trump, Still NO To Obama
Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) said Monday that there'd be "no problem" with presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump nominating someone to replace the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.







32,000 Americans die each year due to guns and if we can just solve the problem of trans people needing to pee, we may want to look at that.- LOLGOP



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Rock The Voter News



Donald Trump calls Bill Clinton a "serial adulterer" in a new interview in People In Glass Houses Magazine. - John Fugelsang





The Nerve! Obama Makes Bison U.S.A.'s Mammal!
The bison has become the official national mammal of the United States under legislation signed into law by President Barack Obama on Monday.



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Biz/Tech News


I Can't Support The Troops On This
Active-duty service members prefer Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton by 2-to-1, according to an informal survey released Monday by Military Times.






So it seems that rank-and-file Republican voters now realize that the GOP's conservative agenda has only served to further enrich the wealthy while doing zero for them. It only took them forty years to figure this out. - Andy Borowitz





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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

A mouse asleep inside a flower says, life is good!

Peace.

Friday, May 6, 2016

The Trump effect: Muslims face a disturbing spike in hate crimes not seen since 9/11



The Trump effect: Muslims face a disturbing spike in hate crimes not seen since 9/11
“Fear of imagined enemies within makes us more accepting of authoritarianism, conformity and prejudice, and poses a real threat to our democracy in the long-term.”


Trump's Brand of Racism and Sexism at Odds with Republican Party's Brand of Exact Same Things - Andy Borowitz






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


At this point in his presidency, George W. Bush's approval rating was a flaming cat plunging into a Dixie cup.- LOLGOP







War On Drugs: Air Raids
Colombia's armed forces will launch air raids on crime gangs involved in drug trafficking and illegal mining, the defense minister said on Friday, as the government steps up its offensive against what it considers the biggest threat to national security.



If Trump picked Newt it would be an immense victory for any conservative who believes in the sanctity of third marriages.- LOLGOP







Despite the oppression of white males by Obama’s Politically Correct Death Squads, a white man wins GOP nomination for 40th time in a row.- Tea Party Cat



Republican Shenanigans



As the Republicans go from Lincoln to Roosevelt to Trump, no wonder they don't believe in evolution. - Andy Borowitz



This is a picture of #DonaldTrump eating a Taco & Spit Salad. 
- Kona Lowell




Donald Trump observed Cinco de Mayo. He posted this on Facebook, “Happy Cinco de Mayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!” There you go. All is forgiven. He even built a little wall around the Mexican salad so it doesn't get on his American desk.- Jimmy Kimmel



Alabama Anti-Abortionists Pile On Clinic Restrictions As Though They're Sex Offenders
A bill that would place the same restrictions on clinics serving pregnant women as those that regulate sex offenders led to calls for security as opponents of the measure sang in a fruitless protest against its passage. The Alabama House approved HB 301, which  would require clinics that provide medical services such as abortion to be at least 2000 feet away from any K-8 school, during the closing hours of the legislative session. 2000 feet is the same boundary set by the state for sex offenders must keep from K-8 schools and other facilities that primarily serve children under twelve.






John Kasich has ended his presidential campaign, but don't worry, conservatives, he'll still continue to oppress women as governor of Ohio.- Tea Party Cat





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Only Donald Trump is brilliant enough to attract female voters by blaming Hillary Clinton for her husband's adultery. - John Fugelsang



Rock The Voter News






Remember Ken Starr? Wow. He Doesn't Care Much About Sex Anymore.
Praying, singing and carrying candles, hundreds of students gathered in front of the president’s house at Baylor University on a chilly night in February. Their goals: to vent anger over the Baptist school’s handling of a string of sexual assaults and to demand the attention of its leader, Ken Starr.




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Biz/Tech News


The Trump Effect On States
The nonpartisan Cook Political Report has shifted 11 states on its election scorecard toward Democrats since Donald Trump became the presumptive Republican presidential nominee.






You never learn that someone is a vegan from a third party.- Conan O'Brien






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TGIF!
FIGHT THE RIGHT FUNDRAISER!



Almost to $2000! Please help!




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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo

Orana Wildlife Park in New Zealand, where lion karma apparently takes place.

Peace.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Caption winner



Within 24 Hours of Being Presumptive Nominee, Donald Trump Flips on Minimum Wage
In the past, Donald Trump has said that the American wages are too high and repeatedly expressed the concern that raising the minimum wage would undermine American competitiveness in the global economy. But less than a day after securing the status of presumptive Republican presidential nominee, he said he’d consider making it higher.


Thank you all for your caption submissions!

"I can see clearly now the reign is gone" - Dennis

1. I'm full of it up to here.
2. I can see Palin from here.
3. Practicing my Commander-in-Chief salute.
4. I need a VP with fingers no larger than these. - Jane

"Losers, dropouts, and I'm Golden." - Lloyd

I can see Russia from my house. - Robert

The glow from all those burning crosses makes my tan look even more tremendous! - Paula
I can see Sarah Palin's porch from my seat on Putin's lap! - Paula

If i just had my Make America Great Again hat.- Paul

I've had it up to here with those who call me obnoxious and the quintessential narcissist. - redford

I'll call it Salu-Trump-ing. Royalties, baby!  - redford

My hands are THIS MUCH bigger than yours.- Mrs.LB







Do the republicans shocked that Trump is their nominee also get surprised when they put cake batter in the oven and it becomes a cake? - OhNoSheTwitnt







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam



The Republican party has failed to stop Trump.
It’s up to the rest of America now. - James Fallow





Something Nice From Palmyra, Syria
Russia’s famed Mariinsky Theatre Orchestra is playing today in a Roman amphitheater in Palmyra today in a surreal propaganda exercise triumphing the recapture of the ancient city by Syrian government forces.







Republican Shenanigans



The good news? Cruz has even more time to think about transgender people peeing.- LOLGOP



Someone Said NO To Trump
You can add The Rolling Stones to the list of artists who want Donald Trump to pull the plug on their music during his campaign events.
The legendary British rockers have "never given permission to the Trump campaign to use their songs and have requested that they cease all use immediately,"...









The GOP is torn between Republicans who think Trump is a terrible racist and Republicans who think he's a wonderful racist.- LOLGOP




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Carly Fiorina was able to do for the Ted Cruz campaign what she did for HP, but even faster and more completely. - Tea Pain



Rock The Voter News







It's no coincidence #Trump's rise comes after our first Black president, & when a woman or a Jew are his potential general election rivals. - Jesse Benn





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E-cigarettes Now Classified As Tobacco
E-cigarettes and other tobacco products like premium cigars and hookahs will be regulated in the same way the government regulates traditional cigarettes and smokeless tobacco






Biz/Tech News


I'm Pretty Sure This Is How The Zombie Apocalypse Begins
A biotech company in the U.S. has been granted ethical permission by an Institutional Review Board in the U.S. and India to use 20 brain-dead patients for what is sure to be a highly controversial study: From next year, they plan to stimulate their nervous systems in order to restart the brains. Bioquark is hoping that its part in the groundbreaking ReAnima project will reveal if people can at least partly be brought back from the dead.






The CEO of Priceline just resigned after it was revealed that he had an affair with an employee. As you can imagine, his wife is pretty mad, but on the bright side, at least he knows where to find a good deal on hotels.- Jimmy Fallon






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Odd News





Time To Deflate Photo

The Cliffs of Moher, Ireland. Is that a leprechaun village?

Peace.