Happy April Fool's Day!

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Google causing people to lose their jobs as Gmail April Fools’ day joke backfires
April Fools’ Day jokes are notoriously difficult to pull off, a fact Google has found to be true after it removed its Gmail prank just hours after it was made public as users expressed anger and outrage at the “Mic Drop” joke.


What April Fools Day prank could you possibly pull of that is going to be better than Donald Trump: Republican Front-Runner, anyway? - Will McAvoy

NOTICE: Short edition today due to difficulties beyond my control. The Internet.



Trump has turned around numbers with women like this before. It just involved alimony. - LOLGOP

Make America Great At Racism Is Catching On!
A Republican Senate candidate is being criticized for saying that Vietnamese refugees who came to Oregon “harvested” people’s pets for food.



"Trump's explanation for keeping Lewandowski on staff is that he's a loyal person. And Trump IS a loyal person. Just ask any of his three wives." –James Corden

"Conservative pundit Glenn Beck said Friday that Ted Cruz was 'anointed' by God to become president. To which God replied, 'No, no, no, I said he was 'annoying.'" –Seth Meyers

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I keep thinking, "Republicans would never be dumb enough to overrule voters & steal an election." Then I remember... 

- LOLGOP


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Rock The Voter News

• Obama To Return To University Of Chicago Law School For SCOTUS Push

Trump Being Sued For Inciting Violence
Three people claiming they were attacked or faced racial slurs at a Donald Trump rally are suing the businessman and his presidential campaign.
The lawsuit was filed Thursday on behalf of the three protesters from a March 1 rally in Louisville, Ky., alleging Trump encourages an atmosphere of violence, according to NBC News.

Republicans oppose paid family leave because it's important to be consistent. Women need to be punished, whether or not they have a baby. -  LOLGOP

CIA Agent a.k.a. Homer Simpson Leaves Bomb On School Bus
The CIA accidentally left inert explosives on a suburban Washington school bus for days after a training session, it acknowledged this week.
After a “routine training exercise” with police dog units at a Loudon County, Va., school last week, training explosives were “inadvertently” left behind in one of the buses, the CIA said in a statement.

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Odd News

• Oregon man arrested for calling 911 seven times in 10 minutes to complain about the homeless
• Jeffrey Dahmer’s home available for rent during the Republican National Convention
• Don't get fooled! A guide to the Internet's best and worst April Fools' Day pranks

Time To Deflate Photo

Bled Island on Lake Bled, Slovenia.

Peace.

Who should I vote for?

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John Kasich Blames Black People For Black Infant Mortality
While everyone was freaking out over Donald Trump’s abortion comments Wednesday night, Ohio Governor and allegedly “nice” Republican presidential candidate John Kasich was busy making one of the most offensive, racially hostile comments of this entire campaign.


Know what reduces infant mortality? Education and access to healthcare. This isn't rocket science. Until we spend money on sex education and birth control, infant mortality will continue to rise in the poorest of people. This is why we need Planned Parenthood more than ever. Shame on John Kasich even insinuating that poor black folks are to blame.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Belgian court rules that Paris terror suspect Salah Abdeslam can be extradited to France
• Pentagon set to transfer a dozen Guantanamo inmates to two other countries
• Tennessee Republicans are plotting an unusual lawsuit over Syrian refugees

Donald Trump: unafraid of ISIS, terrified of women reporters holding pens. - John Fugelsang

Tough Guy Cruz Makes A Funny
Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz on Wednesday joked that he would consider backing over rival Donald Trump with his car if the chance arose.
Appearing on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," the Texas senator was asked by Kimmel whom he disliked more: President Obama or Trump.



Donald Trump is quickly transforming the GOP from a political party to a toxic waste site.- Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• Donald Trump tells Chris Matthews: Women deserve ‘some form of punishment’ for abortion
• Trump backtracks from abortion remarks
• Kasich defends eating New York pizza with a fork and knife
• Trevor Noah slams Kasich for Jon Stewart, Trump joke
• Conservative group freaks out on Mickey Mouse: Disney 'declared public war' on Christianity
• Police hit Arizona protester with felony charges over safety pin on his pants

Glad that Trump retracted his statement about punishing women. Muslims and Mexicans still waiting.- Andy Borowitz

GOP Going After Planned Parenthood Again.
The special House panel investigating fetal tissue donation performed by groups like Planned Parenthood has issued 12 more subpoenas to organizations that the Republican leading the probe says have not ...

Every politician who wants to criminalize abortion supports some form of punishment for women - Trump is just the 1st to admit it.- John Fugelsang

It's highly unfair that Trump's campaign manager is arrested for violent behavior while Trump remains free to roam among us.- Andy Borowitz



Rock The Voter News

• Poll: Clinton, Trump up big in New York
• Bernie Sanders Holds Rally Today in the Bronx

Obama Was Right. Alito Was Wrong. Foreign Money Is Flowing Into U.S. Elections
IN HIS 2010 State of the Union address, Barack Obama attacked the then-new Citizens United Supreme Court decision for making it possible for U.S. elections to be bankrolled by “foreign entities.”
Justice Samuel Alito, part of the Citizens United majority, was in the audience, and shook his head and seemed to mouth “not true.”
But a member of the Federal Election Commission sounded the alarm Wednesday, explaining that it is indeed true — and quixotically calling on her chronically deadlocked colleagues to make it stop.



Maybe the reason Donald Trump feels so strongly about abortion is because he has the hands of a fetus.- Warren Holstein

Unequal Pay In U.S. Soccer. You Go Girls!
Five star players from the U.S. women's national soccer team have filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, saying that the U.S. Soccer Federation pays the reigning World Cup champions far less than their male counterparts.





Business/Tech News

• Oil prices edge higher, but growing stocks loom
• Whoopi Goldberg launches line of marijuana products for women with period pain
• FDA: Women Can Take Abortion Pill Later; Pare Clinic Visits
• Top Gear Forced To Scrap A £500,000 Filming Trip After The Crew Get Stranded
• Trump Hotels exec busted for Easter beatdown of mother of two 

Disneyland is opening in Shanghai this summer, marking the first time in China that parents are happy they could only have one kid. “Whew, only costs $600 for a family of three.”- Jimmy Fallon

Apple Wants To Know How The FBI Cracked Into Their iPhone
The FBI recently dropped its case against Apple after a third-party was able to break into the iPhone used by Syed Farook. Now, Apple is demanding to know how they did it.

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FIGHT THE RIGHT FUNDRAISER

WITH CLASS

THANK YOU! I Passed The Halfway Mark!

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Odd News

• Alaska school children plotted to poison classmate: police
• Lawsuit alleges surfers attack outsiders at California bay
• Dog comes home with surprise for family: Bag of marijuana
• Messi boot donation provokes angry response in Egypt
• Arizona, Indiana towns at odds over John Dillinger's gun

Time To Deflate Photo

Angel's Landing is a strenuous hike, but you’re rewarded with stunning views of Zion National Park in Utah. No pain, no gain. Photo courtesy of Jonathan Basiago

Peace.

GOP Is Sinking Fast

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All three GOP candidates backed away from their pledge to support GOP nominee
Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and John Kasich all stepped back from their earlier pledge to support the eventual Republican nominee during Tuesday night's CNN town hall.


Trump has done more damage to the GOP in a few months than Democrats have been able to do in 30 years.- Jacob Weisberg

Donald Trump became a grandfather for the eighth time, ladies and gentlemen. When Trump actually met the baby, he was like, “Wow, look at the size of those hands!”- James Corden



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Trump rhetoric making US ‘less safe’, says ex-CIA chief
• Half of U.S. voters agree with Donald Trump’s plan to temporarily ban Muslims from entering the country
• Australia made a movie to scare away potential migrants 
• A Mississippi woman and her fiance plead guilty on charge that they tried to join ISIS 
• Leahy asked State Dept. to investigate Israeli human rights 'violations'

Most Of The USA Thinks Torture Works
Nearly two-thirds of Americans believe torture can be justified to extract information from suspected terrorists, according to a Reuters/Ipsos poll, a level of support similar to that seen in countries like Nigeria where militant attacks are common.

Trump can totally destroy ISIS if 28-year old female reporter with a pen doesn't scare to him to death first.- LOLGOP



Republican Shenanigans

• Trump: Reporter would have pressed charges even if aide apologized "because she likes it"
• Trump vows to appoint Supreme Court justices who will investigate Hillary Clinton’s emails
• WATCH: Protester pepper-sprayed point blank at Trump 
• GOP speechwriter: Ivanka will be voting for Clinton by November 
• Trump mocks Cruz after senator mistakenly calls Florida his home state 
• Trump's Fox Interview About Embattled Aide Devolves Into Hit On Megyn Kelly 
• Marco Rubio misspells "United States" in letter to Alaska GOP
• Bible-thumping Alabama governor expelled from church after racy phone calls go public
• D.C. Madam’s Lawyer Confirms He Has Phone Records That Could Impact Election

Friendly reminder that the GOP candidates don't even want to vote for the GOP candidates.- John Dingell



Arizona Voters Are Angry
Maricopa County, Arizona, elections officials came under heavy pressure by state legislators on Monday to explain why thousands of voters waited for hours to cast ballots in the state's most populous county during last week's statewide Republican and Democratic presidential nominating contests. The special hearing to address the issue turned contentious as state representatives and angry voters lobbed accusations of voter suppression and discrimination by local elections officials.

My religion forbids contraception, so I should not have to pay my employees since they MIGHT use those wages to purchase birth control.- Tea Party Cat

President Obama hosted the annual Easter Egg Roll at the White House, and the theme was “Let's Celebrate.” Obama came up with the theme “Let's Celebrate” when he realized it's the last year he would ever have to do this. “I’ve pardoned my last turkey, rolled my last egg. God bless America.”- Jimmy Fallon



Rock The Voter News

• Obama Commutes Sentences of 61 Prisoners
• Hillary Clinton is taking to the airwaves to confront Donald Trump 
• Clinton "perfectly willing" to debate Sanders in New York

That awkward moment when they allow guns at the Republican Convention and tempers flare and then no one’s alive to blame the chaos on Obama.- Tea Party Cat

More than 47,000 people have signed a petition to allow guns at the Republican National Convention. And every single one of them is a Democrat.- Conan O'Brien



Business/Tech News

• Oil up, but sharply off day's high on US crude build
• EPA Launches New Voluntary Methane Challenge Program To Reduce Emissions from the Oil and Gas Sector
• Wall St. rallies as fears of imminent rate hike fade
• Cab-hailing smartphone apps Uber and Ola face off in battle for India's booming taxi market

Another reason Obama's approval is at a 3-year high: job creation is near a 8-year high JUST LIKE MITT WARNED US. - LOLGOP

Crypto Wars
For over two decades, the battle between privacy-minded technologists and the U.S. government has primarily been over encryption. In the 1990s, in what became known as the Crypto Wars, the U.S. tried to limit powerful encryption — calling it as dangerous to export as sophisticated munitions — and eventually lost.
After the 2013 Snowden revelations, as mainstream technology companies started spreading encryption by putting it in popular consumer products, the wars erupted again. 



If you’re a classic rock fan, and an insufferable snob, your favorite band is The Whom.- Conan O'Brien

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FIGHT THE RIGHT FUNDRAISER!

OMG! Just $28 away from the halfway goal!

THANK YOU!

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Odd News

• Microsoft's artificial intelligence 'chatbot' messes up again on Twitter
• U.S. fills in the blanks as coloring books sweep market
• Man arrested in Vermont with equivalent of 1,400 bags of heroin in his body: police
• Gov. Scott tells Yale: Bring the Ivy League to Florida
• Driver Rescued From Car Hanging From Power Lines

Time To Deflate Photo

Individual images taken of the Sun in one year to create a full curve. The summer solstice being at the top, winter solstice at the bottom, and equinox where the lines cross (by Jesús Peláez)

Peace.