My friend is missing.

UPDATE: My friend Joe has been found. He is in the hospital.I spoke with him yesterday. He needs surgery. He also needs an attorney. Anyone know of any good attorneys in Las Vegas?

 I will have a new edition on Sunday. Deep apologies for any humor inconvenience.

Peace and love.

The Pope, Donald, the Pope?

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Donald Trump just flung this insane rant at Pope Francis
Donald Trump has responded to Pope Francis, who on Thursday said the GOP candidate was not a Christian because of his comments about immigrants.



Trump: "The Pope doesn't get to decide what's Christian." 
Um, actually, that's like the Pope's number one job.- Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• U.S. shootings since 1963 have killed more Americans than all wars ever
• At least 38 killed in U.S.-led strikes in Syria's Hasaka over 48 hours: monitor
• UN aid 'to reach all besieged Syria areas within a week
• Radioactive material missing in south Iraq: officials
• Iraq to shrink paramilitary forces due to shortage of funds

During his speech at the rally, George W. Bush said his brother Jeb is the guy who can fix the problems that inflame our country’s frustrations. Or in other words, Jeb is America’s Preparation H.- Jimmy Fallon

Obama Is Going To A Communist Country!!!
President Barack Obama will visit Cuba next month, multiple U.S. and diplomatic sources told CNN on Wednesday.



Next month, I'll travel to Cuba to advance our progress and efforts that can improve the lives of the Cuban people. - President Barack Obama

Ted Cruz is the guy who won't stop trying to sell you an above-ground pool & you keep telling him you live in an apartment. - John Fugelsang



Republican Shenanigans

• Outside groups warn GOP: Don’t even think about holding a SCOTUS hearing 
• Prospects fade for GOP budget
• South Carolina GOP Primary: Evangelicals Are Key
• Ben Carson Called Muslim Americans "Schizophrenic" for Loving Islam and American Values
• In town hall, MSNBC and ‘Morning Joe’ hosts let Trump skate on bigotry, racism

When fascism comes to America, it will wear cufflinks and have an open invite to call into Morning Joe.- LOLGOP

Guns In Schools Nationwide Bill Introduced By....drum roll please...A Texan Of Course!
Texas Republican Rep. Randy Weber has introduced legislation that would allow people with concealed carry permits to possess guns in schools nationwide.




The Pope is tougher on Trump than "Morning Joe" is.- LOLGOP

Oh, Jeb! Engraving your name on your gun is a slippery slope to a government database of gun owners, then something something tyranny. - Tea Party Cat

Benghazi Is Back!
The head of the House’s Benghazi committee is claiming to have achieved “significant breakthroughs” following interviews with top Obama administration officials this month.





If there were a Supreme Court opening early in a GOP president's last year, there would already be TV ads demanding the Senate do its job.- LOLGOP



Rock The Voter News

• Jane Sanders Is Central in Her Husband's Surging Campaign
• Clinton stresses Obama ties, says she'll build on 'progress'

The Vagina Gatekeeper's Newest Keys
A special House panel investigating Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers has issued its first three subpoenas, the Republican chairman of the committee said 



So far today I learned that God killed Scalia because He supports Cruz, guns make us free and Beyoncé is to blame for violence against cops. - OhNoSheTwitnt ‏Tweet









The Pope Makes Historical Statement
Pope Francis insisted Thursday that abortion was always a crime but hinted that the Church could exceptionally relax its ban on contraception for women at risk of contracting the Zika virus.



A guy who would turn on the Pope when it's convenient would probably turn on you.- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

• Oil extends rally above $35 after Iran welcomes output freeze
• Business leaders confident Congress, White House can iron out differences on Pacific trade deal
• Los Angeles hospital paid hackers $17,000 ransom in bitcoins
• Yahoo to shut down digital magazines

If want a hint of how bad the economy was in 2008, think about Jeb Bush's campaign today.- LOLGOP

GOP Criticizing Apple, Inc.
Prominent Republicans criticized Apple Inc on Wednesday for opposing a government request for help hacking into an iPhone belonging to one of the San Bernardino attackers, calling the issue tough but important to boosting national security.



I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

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Fighting The Right Fundraiser

That's me, on the left.


Thank you!!

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NOTICE: My friend Joe is still missing. No word from him. 

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Odd News

• Tampa police refusing to work sold out Beyoncé stadium show
• Police: Man took backhoe joyride on Florida's 7 Mile Bridge
• Pope loses his cool with person who almost knocked him down
• Hershey's Kisses coming out with a carrot cake flavor for Easter 
• 81-year-old woman chases fleeing robbers, rams them with car

Time To Deflate Photo

Even seals know how to photobomb!

Peace.

TRUMP HAS SOLO ACT ON MSNBC!

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Joe Scarborough will host a 'town hall' with Donald Trump, and only Donald Trump 
You know all that fretting MSNBC insiders were doing over what they saw as host Joe Scarborough's "unseemly" on-air promotion of his personal friend Donald Trump? It looks like the network heads have decided to just roll with it.



Trump Wows South Carolina Audience with Promise to Win Civil War. - Andy Borowitz

The Bundy Militia Leave Their Stench
The FBI has found "a trench of human feces" on or near a Native American burial ground at the federal wildlife refuge in Oregon that armed militia members had occupied for more than a month

The Judge who ordered no autopsy on #Scalia is the largest Obama donor in that county. No one wants to talk about it 'cause I made it up. - Dan Ewen Tweet

Obama Skipping Scalia's Funeral
White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said Wednesday that President Barack Obama doesn't plan to attend the funeral for Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.
Earnest said Obama and his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, would "pay their respects" to Justice Scalia on Friday at the Supreme Court as he lies in repose. He said Vice President Joe Biden and his wife Jill planned to attend the funeral on Saturday.

America. Where nothing says white privilege like being @jebbush and tweeting a picture of your gun.- The Daily Edge

Republicans have no problem with #SCOTUS picking a president but such problems with this president picking a #SCOTUS justice. Interesting. - Karl Frisch tweet











Spoiler alert: America ends with Donald Trump calmly walking away from a nuclear explosion. - Jeff Tiedrich

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The short edition is my fault. Mea culpa.

A close friend of AHNC is missing. Joe is an expat living in Peru who was visiting Phoenix, Arizona. It has been 27 hours since he emailed me asking for help. Joe said he dropped a friend at the airport in Las Vegas, that he was lost and asked if I could help him. I responded and never heard back from him. I have been in contact with his friend in Peru and we are all worried.

I have never met Joe yet we have known each other online for over a decade. I requested a physical description of him and/or photo and will report this to the proper authorities.

I don't know what else to do.


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Odd News

• Unborn baby punches self in face during ultrasound 

Time To Deflate Photo

The Mary River turtle is an endangered short-necked turtle that is endemic to the Mary River in south-east Queensland, Australia.

Peace.