The religions of peace were all slaughtered by the ones we have now.- Tina Dupuy
Pope Francis, The Uniter?
Pope Francis will meet Russian Orthodox Patriarch Kirill in Cuba next week in a historic first meeting between the heads of the two largest Christian churches, the Vatican announced Friday.
The gathering will be the first of its kind since a schism in the 11th Century split Christianity into Western and Eastern branches.
Donald Trump's plane made an emergency landing in Nashville yesterday after reporting engine problems. When asked what the issue was, the pilot said, "Nothing, I just couldn't take it anymore.”- Jimmy Fallon
Bernie and Hillary are sparring over who is the true progressive. On the Republican side there is a similar argument over who is the true sociopath.- Andy Borowitz
Unemployment is now below five percent, but the real number is actually much higher if you hate Obama.- Andy Borowitz
The State Of The US Economy According To Wall Street
U.S. manufacturing is shrinking, corporate profits are declining and goods are piling up on warehouse shelves. Those trends have elevated concern that a U.S. recession may loom in the next year or two. Yet in the one area that matters most, the economy has continued to shine: Hiring.
Martin Shkrelli repels the Zika Virus. - John Fugelsang
Rand Paul pulls out with Santorum right behind him. Ok, I'm done now. - John Fugelsang
Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Continues...
Journalist Bob Woodward of Watergate fame argued Wednesday that presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is struggling to overcome opponent Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) because Clinton “shouts” too much.
Caucus night in Iowa and Ted Cruz was the winner on the Republican side with 28 percent of the vote. Donald Trump came in second with 24 percent, and Marco Rubio is right behind him with 23 percent. Third is pretty good considering the fact that most Iowa voters think that Marco Rubio is a game you play in the swimming pool. - Jimmy Kimmel
A member of Marco Rubio’s inner circle said his boss benefitted from the Trump-Cruz fight because, "Marco is everyone’s second choice." That explains Rubio’s new campaign slogan, "I’m the Least Worst."- Conan O'Brien
“I’ve been told that some [Muslims] fear to leave [their homes]; some don’t want to go shopping for their families; some don’t want to go about their ordinary daily routines because, by wearing cover, they’re afraid they’ll be intimidated. That should not and that will not stand in America.” “Those who feel like they can intimidate our fellow citizens to take out their anger don’t represent the best of America, they represent the worst of humankind, and they should be ashamed of that kind of behavior."
George W Bush, speech at Mosque, Sep 18 2001.
As president, Trump would only visit a mosque to supervise the roundups. - LOLGOP
Chris Christie Withheld Emails On Bridgegate!
Attorneys for a former Christie appointee who is battling criminal charges over the incident said in a court filing on Wednesday that they had "newly discovered" that the governor's office had withheld "critical documents" originating from the days around the lane closures in September 2013 that gridlocked the town of Fort Lee. Claims made by Christie's lawyers for why these documents should be kept secret do not "pass the red face test", according to the filing. Among the documents are emails between Christie's press secretary Michael Drewniak and David Wildstein, a state official who has pleaded guilty to conspiracy, which were withheld on the basis of attorney-client privilege despite neither man being an attorney. A spokesman for Christie did not respond to a request for comment.