Planned Parenthood Baby Parts Videographer Gets Hand Slap

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Creator of anti-Planned Parenthood videos faces felony charge
A Houston grand jury that was investigating accusations of criminal misconduct against Planned Parenthood on Monday instead indicted the leader of an anti-abortion group that recorded covert videos of the organization’s employees.


These pro-life nuts stir up their base and someone gets shot or bombed. All this bozo was charged with, so far, was trying to buy baby parts.



If you have any more footage of yourself committing a crime against Planned Parenthood, please send it to your local police. Thanks! - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Pope urges Iran to act for peace in Middle East
• UN chief takes aim at Israel over new settlements
• Denmark passes tough migrant law as Nordic refugee welcome dims
• No sign of active shooter at Naval Medical Center San Diego
• Frustration grows as armed Oregon standoff continues

Trump: Unafraid of ISIS, terrified by Megyn Kelly. - Andy Borowitz

So, Rumsfeld Knew There Were No WMDs? HUH?
On September 9, 2002, as the George W. Bush administration was launching its campaign to invade Iraq, a classified report landed on the desk of the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. It came from Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, and it carried an ominous note.
“Please take a look at this material as to what we don’t know about WMD,” Rumsfeld wrote to Air Force General Richard Myers. “It is big.”






Two pieces of Rumsfeld news today:
1. the man suppressed 2002 intelligence reports on Iraq
2. how adorable he made a solitaire app - Kelsey D. Atherton

Republican Shenanigans

• New Cruz Ad Reminds Iowans About That Time Trump Called Them 'Stupid' 
• Trump Threatens To Skip Fox Debate If Megyn Kelly Treats Him 'Unfairly'
• Poll: Evangelicals flocking to Trump
• Christie On Storm Cleanup: 'Do You Want Me To Go Down There With A Mop?' (VIDEO)
• Snyder Blames Public Employees For Flint Water Crisis

A researcher found lyrics to a song that Woody Guthrie wrote over 50 years ago about Donald Trump's father, Fred Trump. I believe it was called, this land is my land and this land is my land, and this land is also my land.- Jimmy Fallon

Sarah Palin's Ex-Aide Says Palin Is "Incredibly Withdrawn"
Nicolle Wallace, once an aide to Sarah Palin, trashed the former vice presidential nominee in an op-ed for The New York Times.
Wallace, who served as a senior adviser to the campaign of John McCain and Palin in 2008, writes in a Times op-ed published Monday that Trump "has made a shrewd bet" on voter anger in accepting her endorsement last week, in his latest maneuver for support in Iowa and beyond.









Jerry Falwell, Jr.'s endorsement today of Donald Trump can be explained, not because the businessman is a Christian, but because Christianity is a business.- Mrs. Betty Bowers

Rock The Voter News

• Top Sanders surrogate fires back at Obama
• Chomsky: I'd 'absolutely' vote for Hillary Clinton 
• Reporter fights Hillary Clinton email delay

Roachman: FBI Ready To Indict Hillary
The FBI is "ready to indict" Hillary Clinton for her handling of classified information on a private email server during her time as Secretary of State, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said.

I am not a religious man. But, as a political satirist, I have to admit that the fact that Trump and Palin are now involved in this election makes me feel almost evangelical. - Andy Borowitz









Birds Of A Feather, Flock Together
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is heading to Iowa to endorse Donald Trump, the Republican presidential front-runner's campaign announced on Tuesday.
The Arizona sheriff has been a vocal opponent of the Obama administration for years and is known for his tough take on tackling crime and hardline stance on illegal immigration.

Donald Trump: “Just look at these polls. I’m more popular than Jesus Christ. I’m more popular than The Beatles. It’s amazing!”- Tea Party Cat



Business/Tech News

• Oil surges on hopes for output cuts to trim glut
• 'We See No Reason for Exxon to Continue to Trade at a Significant Premium,' Analyst Says
• ConocoPhillips Remains Under Extreme Pressure

Experts at this week's world economic forum that said in the future, cell phones will likely be tiny computer chips implanted in our brains. Great, now I have to worry about leaving my brain in the couch.- Jimmy Fallon

Meanwhile, The Adults Are Tackling This Scary Virus That Is South Of The Border
U.S. health officials are stepping up efforts to study the link between Zika virus infections and birth defects in infants amid predictions for widespread circulation of the mosquito-borne virus within the United States during warmer months.

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Odd News

• Falling in love with the Unabomber
• Buttons as contemporary art, reimagined in NYC exhibition
• Lizard lying in New Jersey pupil's salad is now class pet
• US Sen. Claire McCaskill serving on jury in Missouri trial
• California man rescued after trying save dog from hole

Time To Deflate Photo

My idea of a perfect kitchen. I have simple tastes.

Peace.

Blizzard Shuts Down East Coast

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East Coast digs out after blizzard as flights, transit remain snarled
Millions of people along the East Coast continued to recover from the historic blizzard that pummeled the seaboard over the weekend, even as governments and schools throughout the Northeast were closed Monday and transportation remained snarled...



Conservatives would acknowledge climate change if we blamed it on the poor. - Victor Tran

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• EU security chiefs brace for more Islamist attacks
• ISIS Threatens U.K. in New Video Showing Paris Attackers
• Czechs to send guns, ammunition to Iraq and Jordan to fight Islamic State
• The Latest: Norway, Russia to talk on migrant deportations
• Japan's Akihito heads to Philippines in latest stop on peace parade
• Michigan militia vows to ‘take up arms’ to defend Flint residents in fight with state over poisoned water

Once, Americans turned to each other when they fought Hitler.  Now Americans turn to Hitler comparisons when they fight each other. - John Fugelsang

Let The Investigation Begin!
Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette on Monday named a special prosecutor and investigator to look into possible crimes in the city of Flint's water crisis.

The Afghan War is like a reality show that everybody hates, nobody watches, it costs too much & keeps getting renewed.- John Fugelsang



Republican Shenanigans

• Conservative national groups battle in the states over Constitution redo
• Protester wearing turban kicked out of Donald Trump rally
• ‘You reap what you sow’: CNN host tells Glenn Beck to suck it up after ‘birthing Donald Trump’
• Jeb Bush praises Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder for ‘stepping up’ response to Flint poisoned-water crisis
• D'oh! Cruz Campaign Concedes He Had Insurance Coverage All Along
• GOP Senator: I'd Vote For Bernie Sanders Over Ted Cruz
• Ted Cruz’s campaign chair furiously scrubs bio after newspaper questions his combat claims
• Video surfaces showing Ted Cruz was irritating and horrible even at age 18
• Christie: Rubio's Comment About The Blizzard Shows A 'Real Immaturity'
• Former NYC Mayor Bloomberg gets mixed reception to possible 2016 presidential run
• "Saturday Night Live" and Tina Fey mock Sarah Palin's endorsement of Donald Trump 

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to admit you're voting for Donald Trump and remove all doubt.- LOLGOP




Trump's Spokesperson Is Perfect For Relaying His Message!
Katrina Pierson, the national spokesperson for Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, on Sunday defended her call for a “pure breed” president by arguing that she was a “half-breed” like President Barack Obama.

Marco Rubio: "I bought a gun on Christmas Eve to protect my family from ISIS. And a pair of high-heeled shoes so I'd look taller doing it."- The Daily Edge









Michael Bloomberg gave us Rick Snyder who gave Flint lead in their water. You've been generous enough, Mike. - LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

• Obama: GOP 'Vision' Has Become 'Unrecognizable' Since I Ran In 2008 
• Hillary Clinton: Racism played a role in Flint’s water-poisoning crisis
• Hope grows at Vermont HQ that Bernie Sanders effect can go national 

Jeb tweeted today that if Donald Trump is the nominee Hillary Clinton will be elected president and we can't let that happen. Jeb is painting himself as the only candidate who can beat Hillary. Meanwhile his brother George is at home painting portraits of his dog.- Jimmy Kimmel

I Have A Dream That Someday A Woman And Her Doctor Can Discuss Her Ladyparts Without Government Interference
The U.S. Supreme Court refused on Monday to review lower court rulings overturning North Dakota's ban on abortion at six weeks of pregnancy — before many women know they are pregnant.




US Marine Amir Tekhati is freed after years in Iranian prison and goes home to...wait for it... #Flint. - Kona Lowell

Journalism Prof Who Doesn't Believe In Journalism Charged With Assault
A misdemeanor simple assault charge was filed Monday against a University of Missouri assistant professor who received nationwide attention when she called for "some muscle" to help her remove a student journalist from a protest site on campus...





1 in 5 American children are now on food stamps which is why we must cut food stamps to reduce their dependency on food. - John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

• Oil falls 4 percent after Iraq supply adds to glut
• Once in high demand, North Dakota oil-by-rail shunned on east coast
• Pro-Russian separatists blame Coca Cola and Mickey Mouse for moral decline in Ukraine

Bloomberg unveils campaign slogan: "The only thing that can stop a bad billionaire is a good billionaire."- Andy Borowitz

Iran Is Looking For Business
 Iranian President Hassan Rouhani flew to Italy on Monday at the start of his first official visit to Europe, looking to sign multi-billion dollar contracts to help to modernize Iran's economy after years of crippling financial sanctions.

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Odd News

• 500 years after reformation, Pope knocks on Lutherans' door
• Figure Skating program uses picture of wrong Twin City
• Kansas lawmaker imposes dress code on female witnesses
• New York village changing logo that was butt of jokes
• Ticks That Can Carry Lyme Disease Are Spreading Across the US
• Designer makes gowns out of car interior material

Time To Deflate Photo

Dear Big Apple, soon your city will be green again!

Peace.

FBI Has Chit Chat With Oregon Standoff Leader

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FBI and Oregon standoff leaders begin negotiations to end refuge occupation
..."We're not going to escalate anything," he said. "You would be the only ones to escalate this."
But Bundy had questions of his own. He asked by what right was the FBI involved in the refuge occupation.
"Are you here under authority of the sheriff?" Bundy asked...




BREAKING: Donald Trump skyrockets to 78% in GOP polls after promising to allow white people to use the N-word again when he is president. - Tea Party Cat

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Twelve Marines declared dead after helicopter crash off Hawaii
• Fires rage as jihadists attack Libya oil facilities
• Somalia attack turns symbol of resurgence into one of grief
• Kerry says effort and good faith could lead to Russian sanctions lifting
• Russia dismisses Britain's Litvinenko inquiry as 'joke'
• Twitter erupts after Saudi cleric says chess is forbidden

California Gas Leak Update
Long before a natural gas storage well sprung a disastrous leak near Los Angeles, California, utilities and national industry groups were raising alarms about the danger of aging underground storage infrastructure.
The leaking well’s owner, Southern California Gas Co, warned state utility regulators in 2014 of “major failures” without a rate hike to pay for comprehensive inspections of 229 storage wells.

"Sarah Palin is now the guy who hangs out in the high school parking lot showing off his car, five years after he graduated." –Rachel Maddow



White House Fires Back At Palin Blaming Obama
The White House is firing back after former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin pinned blame for her son’s domestic violence charges on President Obama.

Republican Shenanigans

• New documents reveal how Donald Trump’s racist dad inspired Woody Guthrie’s most bitter writings
• National Review magazine begs conservatives to shun 'political opportunist' Donald Trump
• Wooed by Trump, young evangelicals face a dilemma: Should they embrace a new set of values?
• GOP congressman uses bogus stats about D.C. black residents in anti-marijuana rant
• ‘My heart is so broken now’: Muslim man beaten for speaking Arabic on Philadelphia street

Unconscionable to think that Republicans are wasting time attacking a Clean Water Rule while Flint, Michigan sits in a state of emergency. - Senator Harry Reid

Cruz Getting The Bush Boot
Ted Cruz once proudly wore a belt buckle borrowed from George H.W. Bush that said: "President of the United States."...

Imagine actually wanting Sarah Palin's support. - Gloria Fallon Tweet

Jeb's Mom Stars In New Video!
Former first lady Barbara Bush, known in her family as "the enforcer," stars in a new video message for her son Jeb Bush's presidential bid...












Iowa Restaurant Patron Can Remember Every Breakfast Ruined By Presidential Candidates. - The Onion

Rock The Voter News

• Massive snowstorm poised to wallop U.S. East Coast
• Sanders uses Simon & Garfunkel in non-traditional closing ad
• Clinton's response to Sanders has some Democrats worried
• Hillary Clinton angers Iowa fans who waited hours for five-minute speech 

"Jeb Bush mistakenly referred to President Obama's daughter Malia as 'Malala.' When Jeb Bush apologized for his mistake, Malia said, 'Don't worry about it, Jethbo.'" –Conan O'Brien

This Man Needs A Dictionary AND Thesaurus
 Arkansas man who was disqualified by the Marines because of his Confederate flag tattoo complained to a local news outlet this week that his ink wasn’t racist because it included the words “Southern Pride.”










Slogan for the hot new political ticket: "Trump-Palin 2016: You're Fired! I Quit!"

Business/Tech News

• Oil rises 6 percent but set for biggest Jan fall in 25 years
• Oil services giant Schlumberger is buying $10 billion of itself
• The Coal Miner `On Everybody's List' as Next Bankruptcy Victim
• United, Southwest buy 73 Boeing jets in blow to Bombardier
• Mortgage rates have tumbled to 3-month lows
• 1st of 9 defendants sentenced in massive Navy bribery case

Twitter went down for almost three hours. It wasn't good — in fact, I heard Donald Trump actually had to FAX his insults to people." –Jimmy Fallon

Wal-Mart Raises Wages Just Enough So Employees Can Still Qualify For Food Stamps!
Wal-Mart is giving raises to the vast majority of its U.S. employees as part of the world's largest retailer's previously announced investment in its workforce. The move comes as it seeks to hold onto workers in an increasingly competitive market.



Where does the Bible say birth control is wrong? Nowhere. - John Fugelsang

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Odd News

• Small plane lands safely in backyard after engine ices up
• Alaska burglary suspect identified after locking keys in car
• California nudists told to cover up if they want to use gym
• Oops! NFL refs forget balls at hotel before Patriots game
• Homeless woman gives birth outside Vatican, gets offer of home

Time To Deflate Photo

Canola Fields, Xinghua, China.

Peace.