Ted Cruz: “Yes, I was born in Canada, but at least it’s a Christian country, not like Obama who was born in the Muslim caliphate of Hawaii.”- Tea Party Cat
GOP invites Kim Davis to attend #SOTU in latest sign party has completely given up hope of getting any LGBT votes. - The Daily Edge
El Chapo is back in the same prison he escaped from six months ago but they revoked his tunnel privileges this time. The plan is they're hoping to extradite him to the United States so he can be tried by a jury of his customers.- Jimmy Kimmel
Mexico said Sean Penn's interview with El Chapo led to his arrest. Big deal. Trump would get El Chapo to build a wall & make him pay for it, with tunnels and all!
ISIS chief abruptly cancels meeting with Sean Penn. - Andy Borowitz
When Trump says “America’s gotten soft” the reply should always be, “So Donald, how many mani-pedis have you gotten in your private jet?” - Erik Bransteen
An autograph expert said that Hillary Clinton's autograph is the most valuable of all the candidates. For instance, a Hillary Clinton-signed hat is worth about $1500 dollars, while a Jeb Bush-signed hat is worth...whatever the hat cost originally, minus a few bucks for the Jeb Bush signature.- Jimmy Fallon
Obama's job-killing policies a complete failure, reports Fox News, as US posts best 2 years of job growth since the '90s. - The Daily Edge
Down and Down It Goes, Where It Stops Nobody Knows
A brutal new year selloff in oil markets quickened on Monday, with prices plunging 6 percent to new 12-year lows as further ructions in the Chinese stock market threatened to knock crude as low as $20 a barrel.
David Bowie was 69. Donald Trump is still 69. Think about that when you consider the range of things you can do with this life.- LOLGOP
“Don’t you love the Oxford Dictionary? When I first read it, I thought it was a really really long poem about everything.” ― David Bowie