Monday, December 28, 2015

Donald Trump, Pope Francis Tied For Americans' 2nd Most Admired Man aka The USA Is Bipolar!





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Donald Trump, Pope Francis Tied For Americans' 2nd Most Admired Man 
Donald Trump and Pope Francis don't have much in common, but this year the two tied as Americans' second most admired men in the world.



Donald Trump: “I will do far more for women than Hillary. I will subsidize face lifts and boob jobs, which will help them earn more than equal pay laws ever will.”- Tea Party Cat









The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam




85 deaths in the U.S. from jihadi terror attacks from 2005-2015.
88 gun deaths EVERY DAY.
You get to pick which to freak out about. - LOLGOP



Wow. Who's The Boss? The Pentagon Is Messing With Guantanamo.
 In September, U.S. State Department officials invited a foreign delegation to the Guantanamo Bay detention center to persuade the group to take detainee Tariq Ba Odah to their country. If they succeeded, the transfer would mark a small step toward realizing President Barack Obama's goal of closing the prison before he leaves office.






Love getting lectured on victimhood culture by people who think ending tax breaks on the richest who've never been richer is tyranny.- LOLGOP









Republican Shenanigans




Dear Donald Trump,
I'm at a Muslim wedding in a Christian church in NYC, and everyone is dancing to salsa.
America already is great. - Anand Giridharadas




I Don't Know Which Is Worse, That This Happened In Texas Or This Woman Thinks She's Christian 
A Texas woman says her Christian faith gave her the power to redirect a tornado away from her home.Sabrina Lowe, of Rowlett...heard the distinctive train noise of the approaching tornado.“We actually went outside and started commanding the winds, because God had given us authority over the winds, the airways,” Lowe said.









Santa is not a socialist. He brought more and better gifts to rich kids than poor, and none to Muslims, so Santa is obviously a Republican. - Tea Party Cat










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Rock The Voter News




Stupid experts!  Only Trump understands that the way to woo women voters is to smear Hillary Clinton for her husband's infidelity.- John Fugelsang







I'd send congrats to all the men who may be Bristol Palin's baby's father, but with the holidays, who has that time? - Betty Bowers



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Climate Change Update
Snow, sleet and hail snarled transportation across much of the Midwest and Southwest on Monday during one of the busiest travel periods of the year after more than 40 people were killed by tornadoes and floods 



Climate change. Because the sea is far more likely to invade us than ISIS ever will.- LOLGOP







Facebook launched its year in review feature, which brings up some of your top Facebook photos from the past year. It should be a huge improvement over its original name, parade of regrets.- Jimmy Fallon



Business/Tech News





History's Worst Inventions: 
1. Nuclear Weapons
2. Selfie Sticks 
3. Hydrogen Blimps 
4. Auto-Tune
5. Donald Trump's Hair
- Paul Solomon Tweet



Mano a Mano? Millionaire Wants To Debate Billionaire?
Jeb Bush on Monday challenged Republican front-runner Donald Trump to a one-on-one debate.
Speaking to a gathering at the Forum Club in Palm Beach, Fla., Bush was asked by the moderator what he would say to Trump if he were to walk in the room at that moment.







US considers adopting China's two-child policy specifically to prevent Kanye West and Kim Kardashian from having more kids. - Michael Blackman Tweet







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I hope your holidays have been filled with cheer!



Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Bernie Sanders Wants Donald Trump To Know He Also Went To The Bathroom



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Phototoon by my good friend Paul. Thank you!
Bernie Sanders Wants Donald Trump To Know He Also Went To The Bathroom
Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) on Tuesday deviated from his usual presidential campaign stump speech on economic inequality to note that he, like many others, is perplexed by Republican candidate Donald Trump's latest attack on Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton.



A recent poll finds that 1 out of 3 Trump supporters are just as stupid as the other 2.







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam




The last time a Bush brother spent this much of other people's money to fail miserably, the consequences were a lot worse.- LOLGOP






General Jeb Will Fight ISIS Like WWII
Bush suggested World War II provides an example for how he’d handle the conflict in the Middle East.
“How did we handle World War II? Pretty damn good. In fact, you know, we had a — we had a force that brought stability, created opportunities for the rebuilding of both Japan and Germany in a way that benefitted us and created stability for two generations."











We have to thank Jeb Bush this Christmas for being the one thing all Americans can despise together.- LOLGOP



Republican Shenanigans




Trump 39
Cruz 18
Carson 10
Rubio 10
Christie 5
Paul 4
Schlonged 4
Bush 3
- LOLGOP




Gunzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
A Wisconsin state representative reacted to a local shooting by offering a solution to violence: let gun owners “clean our society of scumbags.”
“Wisconsin does not have a death penalty law, but with significant practice and careful aim, law abiding citizens can help clean our society of scumbags,” 





If the news you're watching is criticizing Hillary Clinton for her daughter being pregnant you're not actually watching news.- John Fugelsang






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Half of U.S. voters would be ‘embarrassed’ to have Trump as president; the other half thinks corn dogs are hot dogs that weren't born Jewish. - LOLGOP









Texas Cuts Off HIV Prevention Services. Now, No One Will Mess With Texas!
In a notice received by Planned Parenthood Gulf Coast late Monday, an official with the Department of State Health Services informed the Houston-based provider that it would not renew its contract for HIV prevention services.











If Bernie wins the Dem nomination the best part will be Debbie Wasserman Schultz hiring Steve Harvey to award it to Hillary.- John Fugelsang



Rock The Voter News




Obamas Decide To Stay In White House Until Daughters Finish High School. - The Onion









Bill Nye Sends Warning To GOP
Science advocate Bill Nye explained on Tuesday that many parts of the United States were expected to see record temperatures over the Christmas holiday because of weather patterns associated with climate change and El Niño.
The month of December has already seen about 6,000 record-breaking warm temperatures across the United States, and experts predict that there could be dozens more before the end of the year.





 Click here to meet C.W.









Dear Donald Trump: Without immigrants you would never have learned the word "schlong."- Andy Borowitz




Business/Tech News




Not Only Is There A War On Women, Women Are Getting Price Gouged
It is a known fact that women get paid less than men, but a new study shows they may also be paying more for virtually the same product.
The New York City Department of Consumer Affairs revealed a sharp gap between products aimed at women and girls versus men and boys. The research shows that on average, the female versions of a product cost 7 percent more.








Joseph was engaged to Mary, then learned she's pregnant!  And you won't BELIEVE who she says the Baby Daddy is!  Today on Maury! - John Fugelsang






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Happy Holidays Everyone!