All Hat No Cattle

Friday, October 9, 2015

Job Opening

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That awkward moment when there are 17 presidential candidates and yet not one Republican wants to be Speaker of the House.- Tea Party Cat

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

"U.S. officials have been wondering why, according to photos, ISIS seems to have so many Toyotas. One clue seems to be ISIS's credo, 'Fanatical about Islam, sensible about gas mileage.'" –Conan O'Brien

Putin Media Blitz
Russian President Vladimir Putin and his circle have spent years criticizing what they said was Washington's calamitous 2003 military intervention in Iraq and its pernicious habit of meddling in the Middle East.
But faced with marketing their own foray into the region for the first time since the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan -- in Syria -- the Kremlin is borrowing U.S. government and broadcast tactics to replicate the media campaign that George W. Bush used to win American hearts and minds

BREAKING: After the House GOP can't decide on a new Speaker, Supreme Court issues emergency ruling giving the job to George W. Bush.- Tea Party Cat

Republican Shenanigans

Memo to Cruz, Jindal, Santorum, et al.: if God wanted you to be president, you'd already be president. That's how omnipotence works.- Jeff Tiedrich

W Is Headed To Denver For Jeb!
Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush will get some brotherly help and collect some Colorado cash when former President George W. Bush comes to Denver on Oct. 18.

America. Where our response to school shootings is to shut down schools.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

Hillary Clinton unhinged her jaw and swallowed a puppy whole. Carly Fiorina's seen the video. - Jeff Tiedrich

Federal Court Says NO CLEAN WATER!
A federal court ruled Friday that President Obama’s regulation to protect small waterways from pollution cannot be enforced nationwide.

Obama should do nothing to prevent future shooting deaths of Americans, say the people now investigating #Benghazi for the 7th time. - Richard Hine

300 million guns still not quite enough to keep Americans safe, says NRA. - The Daily Edge

D.C. Soap Opera
Rep. Renee Ellmers (R-N.C.) on Friday morning thanked fellow House Republicans for their support after they received emails from a conservative activist alleging she had an affair with Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.).

Business/Tech News

My favorite Bible story is when Jesus welcomed the moneylenders back into the temple, explaining that they were too big to fail. - Jeff Tiedrich

PC Sales Down
Shipments of personal computers continued to slide during the third quarter, as the rise in the U.S. dollar made devices more expensive to purchase in other countries, say analyst reports from Gartner and IDC.

In 50 years, the Ice Bucket Challenge will mean trying to find a bucket's worth of ice in the Arctic.- JokeBlogger.com

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

TGIF! It is base jumping in Patagonia of course!

Peace.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Right flexes muscle ahead of Speaker vote

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Right flexes muscle ahead of Speaker vote
The conservative House Freedom Caucus on Wednesday endorsed little-known Rep. Daniel Webster (R-Fla.) for Speaker — a bold move that raises serious doubts about whether Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy can cobble together the 218 votes on the House floor he needs to be promoted.

BREAKING NEWS- McCarthy withdraw candidacy for speaker

That awkward moment when when House Republicans demand a new Speaker and then their only choices are losers, showboats, and idiots.- Tea Party Cat

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

The enemy of your enemy is also probably fighting you and your enemy in Syria. - LOLGOP

Putin Popular In Iraq
Russian President Vladimir Putin's bullish entry into the Syrian conflict has worked wonders for his popularity in neighbouring Iraq, where some await "Hajji Putin" like a saviour.

Republican Shenanigans

Everybody’s still talking about Donald Trump. A recent poll had voters describe Trump in one word, and a lot of them used the words “idiot,” “buffoon,” “clown,” and “jerk.” And those are the people voting for Trump.
Of course, they also used other words, like “Still,” “better,” “than” and “Jeb.” - Jimmy Fallon

Anti-Islam Rallies Across 20 Cities, With Guns. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
The anti-Islam sentiment that has crept into the mainstream political dialogue in recent weeks may hit a boiling point this weekend, as planned protests outside mosques and Islamic centers across the nation coincide with the commemoration of the 20th anniversary of the Million Man March in Washington, D.C.

75 percent of Americans want to raise the top tax rate. 100 percent of GOP candidates want to lower it. - LOLGOP

The Sad Results Of A Self-Lobotomy
GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson, under fire for advice about what to do when facing a gunman, late Wednesday recounted the time when a gun was pointed at him...“[A] guy comes in, put the gun in my ribs,” he added. “And I just said, ‘I believe that you want the guy behind the counter.’”

Dr. Ben Carson hosted a Facebook Q&A last night, and said the loss of gun rights is more devastating than seeing people die from gun violence. So if Ben Carson is your doctor, definitely get a second opinion. - Seth Myers

Rock The Voter News

Yesterday Hillary Clinton criticized Donald Trump during an interview on Telemundo. Clinton knew if there was one place she could criticize Trump without him finding out about it, it's on Telemundo.- Conan O'Brien

A lot of people think that when the Republican field clears it will come down to Jeb Bush and Donald Trump. Kind of like the race between the tortoise and the bad hair.- Jimmy Fallon

Business/Tech News

I worry that the Republicans' investigation of Planned Parenthood will waste time and money that could be used investigating Benghazi. - Andy Borowitz

Bleeding The Seniors Dry
Seniors have received some unpleasant news in their mailboxes in recent weeks: premiums for many Medicare prescription drug insurance plans will rise at double-digit rates next year.

"The Martian" is expected to do particularly well when it launches in China. … This movie is a natural match for China. Because not only is the planet Mars red, I believe it has more oxygen than Beijing.- Stephen Colbert

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Good morning, sunshine. Another beautiful sunrise.

Peace.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Benghazi !

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House rejects Dem attempt to abolish Benghazi panel
The House rejected a Democratic effort on Wednesday to abolish the Select Committee on Benghazi in the wake of recent controversial comments from Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.)...a widely criticized comment from McCarthy during a Fox News interview that suggested the panel had political benefits to attack Hillary Clinton’s presidential candidacy.

Sorry about the mean tweets you’ve been getting, @KevinMcCarthy—been there! - Hillary Clinton tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Look, all these mass shootings could never have happened if Obama hadn't taken away all our guns.- Tea Party Cat

Obama Apologizes For Hospital Airstrike
President Obama has apologized to Doctors Without Borders for a U.S. airstrike that killed at least 22 people at its hospital in Kunduz last weekend.
The U.S. has come under mounting pressure from the charitable organization, which has described the attack as a war crime.

Have you ever considered a career as a moderate Syrian rebel? The US military wants YOU!- Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

BREAKING: After rejecting Kevin McCarthy, House GOP names zygote as new Speaker.- Tea Party Cat

Any Skeletons In The GOP Leadership Closet?
Rep. Walter Jones (R-N.C.) wants to avoid the possibility of a member of the new House GOP leadership resigning from office because of a scandal.
In a letter to House GOP Conference Chairwoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.), Jones asked that Republicans discuss urging candidates for leadership to drop out if they might one day embarrass the party because of past indiscretions.

What Will The GOP Do When There Are No More Consumers?
President Obama is standing up for average Americans by threatening to veto a Republican bill that would undo important consumer protections.

Rock The Voter News

The right of people to keep and bear arms, to fetishize them, to carry openly, to leave unsecured around children, shall not be infringed.- Tea Party Cat

Starting this tweet with the name Kendall Jenner to trick you into reading my congrats to today's Nobel Prize winners who mapped DNA repair! -Seth McFarlane

Business/Tech News

The #TPP is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad deal, and Obama should've gotten better. Have I read it? No, and I don't intend to. - Tea Party Cat

Disneyland Ups Pass Prices
The Happiest Place on Earth is about to get even more pricey, and customers aren't pleased.
Disney has discontinued the Premium annual pass, which for $779 a year allowed unlimited visits to both Disneyland and Disney California Adventure as well as free parking and ...

Researchers have begun collecting data to develop a pill that will allow users to experience the benefits of exercise without having to work out. Said Americans, "So I have to get up, get a glass of water, unscrew the pill cap? No, thank you. Not interested."- Seth Myers