Boehner slams some GOP hard liners as 'false prophets'

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Boehner slams some GOP hard liners as 'false prophets'
House Speaker John Boehner warned Sunday against "false prophets" in his own party making unrealistic promises, saying his resignation had averted a government shutdown this week but not the GOP's broader battle over how to wield power.




Q: What's the difference between the House GOP and the unemployed? 
A: The unemployed want to work.
- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Carly Fiorina Defends Waterboarding: It 'Kept Our Nation Safe'
• Vladimir Putin points to Ferguson unrest as sign that US democracy has problems of its own
• At U.N., Obama and Putin clash over working with Syria's Assad
• Iran's Rouhani calls for 'united front' against extremists
• Hope, fear, waiting at French migrant camps run by smugglers

Carly Fiorina says waterboarding is fine, based on a video she saw about young surfers in California. - The Daily Edge

This Republican Was Once Two Heart Beats Away From The Presidency
Lawyers for indicted former House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) are negotiating a possible guilty plea with federal prosecutors, The Chicago Tribune reported Monday... The indictment against Hastert alleged that he withdrew the money in order to pay out $3.5 million in hush money to an unidentified individual as compensation for "prior misconduct" against that person.

Republican Shenanigans

• Republican megadonor urges talk on climate change solutions
• Pope Francis says Kim Davis has a ‘human right’ to deny marriage licenses to same-sex couples
• Heritage's Needham Scolds Boehner For Denouncing The Tea Party
• Ted Cruz Slams GOP Leadership Over Boehner's Resignation
• Trump: My Taxes Are Low Because 'I Fight Like Hell' And Hire Best Lawyers
• Rubio: I Don't Want To Be A Part Of Trump's 'Freak Show' 
• GOP Stands Alone as the Only Climate Change-Denying Party

Today Donald Trump said he doesn't believe in climate change. He said if there's a hole in the ozone layer, just comb some ozone from another part over it.- Conan O'Brien

Read Jebs Lips. That's The Way It Is.
Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush suggested that the wealthiest top 1 percent of Americans would receive more benefits from this tax plan than the middle class because "that's just the way it is."




While he was in Washington, the Pope gave a major speech to Congress, and asked them to accept immigrants as their own children. Then congressmen were like, "Eh, we've already got enough children our wives don't know about.”- Jimmy Fallon

Please, please sit down. Now please stand up. Now kneel. Now stand up again. Sorry, I've got Pope fever!- Jimmy Fallon

Water Found On Mars
Mars has water on its surface, and it's in liquid form at least some of the time.
NASA on Monday announced the results of a new study showing that salty liquid water flows seasonally on Mars, giving the red planet one of the essential ingredients for life.

Rock The Voter News

• Biden eligible for Democratic primary debate: if he decides to run
• Bernie Sanders' Supreme Court litmus test: Overturn Citizens United
• China angered by Hillary Clinton tweet on women's rights

What the media doesn't get is that Donald Trump is the closest millions of Americans will ever get to voting for Boss Hogg.- John Fugelsang

There was a total lunar eclipse and a super moon on Sunday, both of them at once. That has not happened since 1982, it won't happen again until 2033 — which happens be the year when Snooki is expected to be seeking the Republican nomination for president.- Jimmy Kimmel

Business/Tech News

• US stocks fall sharply on China growth worries
• Trump promises to tax U.S. corporate profits held abroad
• Jeb Bush Profited From a Hospital Stock, Thanks in Part to Obamacare

Facebook went down briefly today, which means that for several minutes all across the country, something got done.- Stephen Colbert

The GOP Business Of Defaming Planned Parenthood Hits Obstacle
Missouri Attorney General Chris Koster conducted a 30-day audit of more than 300 abortions performed by Planned Parenthood in St. Louis and found no evidence of workers selling fetal tissue obtained during the procedures.

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Odd News

• Loose emu recognizes owner, returns home in back of a Prius
• Belgian scientists look for biofuel clues in panda poo
• Motorist sets lighter to spider at gas station, burns pump
• Marijuana bundle drops from sky, slams into family's carport
• Police: Man throws fit at McDonald's over botched order

Time To Deflate Photo

There was no blood moon eclipse in Costa Rica last night. Cloudy and a light misty rain. I guess Mother Nature felt bad so she gave us a rainbow right before sunset. Pura vida.

Peace.

John Boehner Is Leaving Congress

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Speaker John Boehner Will Resign From Congress
WASHINGTON — Speaker John A. Boehner, under intense pressure from conservatives in his party, will resign one of the most powerful positions in government and give up his House seat at the end of October, throwing Congress into chaos as it tries to avert a government shutdown.



Boehner is not only giving up his House Speaker position, he's quitting Congress next month! Whaaaat just happened? Divine Intervention? Now comes the fun part, the scurrying for his replacement. I'm betting blood will be shed.




John Boehner is resigning Congress and that's what I call an effective Pope speech.- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Saudi suggests pilgrims at fault over haj deaths, Iran angry
• Egyptian police kill nine Muslim Brotherhood members in Cairo raid
• Kremlin says U.S. distorts truth saying Putin sought to meet Obama
• China state visit: Xi's crackdown on southern Christians intensifies

Did Boehner resign because of the Republican Far Right? Or did the Pope say "John, you don't have to deal with assholes anymore, Go In Peace."- Lewis Black

Refugees Expected To Increase
GENEVA (Reuters) - The United Nations said on Friday it could see no easing of the flow of refugees into Europe, with 8,000 arrivals daily, and that problems now facing governments may turn out to be only "the tip of the iceberg".

Costa Rica Doesn't Like U.S. Military Helicopters Flying Around
A brief stopover by five U.S. military helicopters in Costa Rica over the weekend drew the ire of lawmakers who claimed the landing violated Costa Rica’s sovereignty.

The executive and legislative branches of government have been disputing the legality of U.S. military vessels in Costa Rica since both countries signed a joint-patrol agreement in 1999, but the Constitutional Chamber of the Supreme Court also has been wary of U.S. military aircraft and ships here.





That awkward moment when GOP says we shouldn't do anything about climate change because China won't, and then China starts carbon cap & trade.- Tea Party Cat

Republican Shenanigans

• Catholic Justices Scalia, Alito, Thomas are no-shows for the pope
• Boehner reflects on decision to resign from Congress: 'It was never about the pope'
• Conservative Rep: Mitch McConnell Is 'The Next Guy In The Crosshairs' 
• Right-wing base already hates Kevin McCarthy as much as they hated John Boehner
• Donald Trump woos ‘values voters’ by waving Bible and promising to make stores say ‘Merry Christmas’
• Jeb! Tells Black People: We Offer You Earned Success, Not Free Stuff
• Fox News Tells Audience Leonardo DiCaprio Painted the “Mona Lisa”: They Believed It

After four years as Speaker, Boehner has finally created a job.- Andy Borowitz

Well, Of Course She Switched Parties!
A county clerk in Kentucky who was briefly jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples said on Friday that she and her family have switched to the Republican Party because the Democrats no longer represented them.




Boehner to Continue Repealing Obamacare After Leaving Congress. - Andy Borowitz

Pope Francis Lays Hands On Ailing U.S. Infrastructure. - The Onion

Rock The Voter News

• Obama, Xi vow cooperation on climate, cyber issues 
• WMUR/CNN poll: Sanders holds big lead over Clinton; Biden key factor 
• Officials uncover Hillary Clinton email chain she failed to turn over

Nelson Nails Boehner Leaving Congress
Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL) on Friday issued a statement on House Speaker John Boehner's (R-OH) planned resignation that perfectly captured the dynamics that reportedly influenced the speaker's decision.
“After Speaker Boehner fulfilled his dream of the pope speaking, he is just plain tired of dealing with the right wing extremists," Nelson said in the one-sentence statement.

Business/Tech News

• US stocks gain; Yellen's comments boost financial stocks
• Scandal-hit Volkswagen names Porsche boss new CEO
• Pope's Climate Call Misses Population Problem, Scientists Say

Man who inherited his career says black people want "free stuff" . - LOLGOP

Costa Rican Rocket Science
Ad Astra Rocket, the company founded by Costa Rican scientist and ex-astronaut Franklin Chang Díaz, will develop space propulsion systems for a new NASA project, the company reported this week.



My loan from the bank to buy milk from Whole Foods was approved.- dak tweet

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I hope you had a good time today!

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Odd News

• Man feared dead on eastern Pennsylvania highway was napping
• Escaped tarantula grounds plane near Baltimore
• Idaho school requires cheerleaders to wear leggings with short skirts
• Weather service accidentally sends Connecticut tsunami alert
• Prisoner uses bed sheets in escape, falls when knot slips

Time To Deflate Photo

Pull up a chair and enjoy Venice!

Peace.

NYPD Expels Homeless People Encamped Near Pope Visit Site

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NYPD Expels Homeless People Encamped Near Pope Visit Site
New York police scattered about a dozen homeless people from the foot of a Harlem train station Wednesday ahead of Pope Francis’ visit to the city, which will include a stop at a Catholic school located near the long-standing informal encampment on 125th Street.



If the Pope says one more thing about helping the poor or Global Warming, the GOP is gonna blame him for Benghazi too. 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Before Congress, pope demands end to arms trade
• Saudi Arabia: Stampede at hajj kills 717 pilgrims
• Syrian army uses new Russian jets to strike Islamic State: monitor
• Vietnamese refugees reach out to Syrians fleeing by boat
• Disillusioned migrants abandon bid to reach Greece overland from Turkey
• Diplomats: US won't negotiate on Russia's UN draft on Syria
• Jimmy Carter says democracy is dead: You need at least $200 million to run for president of US ‘oligarchy’
• Google Raised $11 Million For Refugees, Migrants In Just 3 Days

"As the son of an immigrant family, I am happy to be a guest in this country."- Pope Francis




Putin Tries To Out Do The Pope
The most elaborate mosque ever built in Moscow, a city that is home to one of the largest concentrations of Muslims in Europe, was opened on Wednesday by President Vladimir V. Putin.

Racist Comments Draw Big Donations
The super PAC supporting neurosurgeon Ben Carson for GOP president has seen a surge of donations since his appearance Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press," where Mr. Carson said he wouldn't advocate for a Muslim to be president of the United States.

I saw that top congressional leaders sent a statement to the House and Senate with guidelines for Pope Francis' visit, including a request to not shake his hand. Apparently, they're worried that if politicians touch the Pope they'll burst into flames.- Jimmy Fallon

Republican Shenanigans

• Conservatives Trash The Pope After His Speech To Congress
• Rep. Steve King Calls Out Pope For Not Understanding Nation States, Importance Of Borders
• Fox host explodes in 20-minute tirade after Pope Francis praises Obama on climate change
• Trump resumes attack on ‘lightweight’ Megyn Kelly
• Steve King: A Muslim 'Cannot Seriously Give An Oath' To The Constitution
• GOP Freshmen Plead With Colleagues To Avert 'Harmful' Shutdown 
• Scalia: I 'Wouldn't Be Surprised' If SCOTUS Overturns Death Pentalty

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has become the second GOP presidential hopeful to drop out of the 2016 race. He says he looks forward to his new job as the picture in the dictionary next to the word “duh.”- Seth Myers

This Woman Sounded Southern To Me
CNN's live feed of Pope Francis' Thursday address to a joint session of Congress picked up audio of a woman saying she would "take my shoe off and throw it at his head" just before the pontiff entered the House chamber.

I read that certain data that measures how often a candidate's name is mentioned showed that Donald Trump is actually fading from the media spotlight. You can tell Trump's status has faded, because today, he was named a contestant on “Celebrity Apprentice.”- Jimmy Fallon

Rock The Voter News

• Obama Issues Veto Threat Of Spending Bill Defunding Planned Parenthood
• FBI reportedly recovers emails from Clinton server
• Clinton Spokesman Blasts Ed Klein's Latest Book On Hillary: It's 'Bullsh*t'
• The pope name-dropped a radical Catholic activist, and Bernie Sanders couldn't be happier 

The trip to Washington, D.C., has actually been very educational for the Pope. You know, because he's only ever read about purgatory.- Jimmy Fallon

The War On Police?
A lot of media attention has been given to shootings involving law enforcement, as well as the murder of police officers by criminals. Some pundits have declared that there is a "War On Police" and have tried to blame police accountability groups 




Pope reminds Congress that if there was no death penalty Jesus might still be here.- John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

• Oil stabilizes after two-session decline 
• US New-Home Sales Surge 5.7 Percent in August to 7-Year High
• Caterpillar to cut at least 10000 jobs
• Egypt buys 2 warships from France, 2nd big military purchase

Finally Republicans will have a chance to explain to the Pope that Jesus thought everything could be fixed by cutting rich people's taxes.- LOLGOP

This Is What Happens When Healthcare Is For Profit
The American Psychiatric Association warned U.S. antitrust regulators this month that two proposed health insurance deals could worsen access to mental health care services, adding to public opposition from several prominent doctor groups.




According to a new study, there have been more deaths this year from selfie-related incidents than there have been from shark attacks. Good.- Seth Myers

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Odd News

• Avoid Popelock! For $95, New Yorkers can take helicopter across Manhattan
• Japan's 105-yr-old 'Golden Bolt' sets sprint record, misses personal best
•  Frustrated dad writes check to son's elementary school using controversial Common Core
• There Were More Selfie-Related Fatalities Than Shark Attack Deaths This Year
• Officials Close Multiple LA Beaches After Tampons, Needles Wash Ashore
• Did Pentagon employees try to expense strip club, casino bills?

Time To Deflate Photo

New Croton Dam, NY.

Peace.