Trump Is Already Declaring His Next Book A Massive, Bestselling Success

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Trump Is Already Declaring His Next Book A Massive, Bestselling Success
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is scheduled to have his next book, which is still untitled, released on Oct. 27, according to a news release Monday by his publisher, Simon & Schuster.




More Americans think lipless Canadian Rafael "Ted" Cruz was born in America than Obama. That's all you need to know about American voters.- Mrs. Betty Bowers

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Car bomb in Baghdad neighborhood kills 8 people
• Some Iraqis ditch fight against Islamic State for life in Europe
• Israel, Russia to coordinate military action on Syria: Netanyahu
•  Russia sends drone aircraft on surveillance missions in Syria - U.S. officials
• Most Palestinians no longer support two-state solution
• Done deal for Iran nuke pact, but debate still in Congress

Lawyers for Guantanamo Bay prisoner Muhammad Rahim al-Afghani have revealed that he used to have an Ashley Madison account. He was already gittin’ some but he wanted to Gitmo.- Seth Myers



Planting The Seeds
 Syria's civil war has prompted the first withdrawal of crop seeds from a "doomsday" vault built in an Arctic mountainside to safeguard global food supplies, officials said...

The best way to force the rich to change their greedy ways is to refuse to serve them. Chauffeurs, busboys & maids could start a revolution. - Jim David




Republican Shenanigans

• Donald Trump: Is Jeb Bush High?! (VIDEO)
• Trump launches late night Twitter assault on Fiorina mocking her business experience
• Huckabee: Obama Is 'The Most Anti-Christian' President In US History 
• Mike Huckabee: Pope’s White House visit is a ‘cattle call for gay and pro-abortion activists’
• Carly Fiorina: Opponents must ‘prove to me’ they watched my non-existent fetus videos
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Opposing a Muslim president makes Ben Carson a ‘real person’
• Host Andy Samberg slams ‘racist’ Donald Trump and ‘intolerant’ Kim Davis in Emmys’ opener

The Emmys are a lot like the GOP debates, except if you say something racist on the Emmys it doesn't help your career.- LOLGOP

Being A Bush Means You Never Have To Apologize
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R) criticized Hillary Clinton on Sunday for a "disgraceful" new ad from a liberal group that criticizes former President George W. Bush and highlights Jeb Bush's defense of his brother.




Rich women get D & C's; poor women get abortions. - Cindy Carter

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Now that he's said he believes in global warming "Is the Pope Catholic?" isn't a rhetorical question anymore. It's a Fox News' headline. - OhNoSheTwitnt

Rock The Voter News

• Huckabee criticizes Obama's 'classless' treatment of pope 
• Bernie Sanders speaks at UNH, criticizes Ben Carson 
• Poll: Hillary Clinton's lead over Bernie Sanders grows

Can a Muslim be President of the United States of America? In a word: Yes. Now let's move on. -Hillary Clinton

Trump Will Forego Presidential Salary
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said Monday that he would refuse to take a government salary if he is elected President of the United States.

So Republicans have said a Muslim can't be president or build a clock but "the biggest discrimination going on is against" Christians?- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

• US crude up 4 percent on lower stockpile bets; Brent spread narrows
• Ex-hedge funder buys rights to AIDS drug and raises price from $13.50 to $750 per pill
• Macy's hiring fewer holiday season workers
• China, Russia to sign jet agreement by end-2015: newspaper

Just bought #gas for $1.75 per gallon while listening to Spice Girls on the radio. Not sure my location, but I think I'm driving thru 1998.- Eric Bransteen

Hillary Tweets, Stocks Fall
Biotechnology stocks fell Monday after Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton tweeted Monday that she would release a plan to combat the high cost of prescription drugs. 



The practice of art isn't to make a living. It's to make your soul grow.- Kurt Vonnegut

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Odd News

• Jimmy Morales used to do blackface comedy. He’s now poised to be Guatemala’s president.
• Police: Robber tells pizza clerk he's having a 'bad day'
• Football team's mascot sheep dies on team's big day
• Rabbits Are Taking Over This Small Island City
• Tourist Dies At Taj Mahal After Falling While Taking A Selfie
• World's Luckiest Pedestrian Narrowly Escapes A Sheet Of Falling Glass

Time To Deflate Photo

An astronaut aboard the International Space Station took this photograph of small island cays of the Great Exuma Island, Bahamas and the prominent tidal channels cutting between them. For astronauts, this is one of the most recognizable points on the planet. Image/NASA

Peace.

What's the difference between Iraq and Iran?

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Jeb Bush tells Hannity: US should accept every Christian refugee
The United States should accept Syrian and Iraqi refugees as long as they are Christians and their lives are endangered, GOP presidential hopeful Jeb Bush said, during an interview with Fox News host Sean Hannity late Thursday.



The people who believe Obama is a Muslim also believed Dick Cheney was a Christian.- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Russia ready to consider sending troops to Syria if Damascus asks: Kremlin
• Taliban gunmen kill 17 in attack on Pakistan air force base
• Israel calls up reservists following holy site violence
• UN envoy says hurdle cleared towards Libya peace deal
• Turkey Has Spent Nearly $8 Billion Caring For 2.2 Million Syrian Refugees
• 'Heads as well as hearts': Croatia says it can take no more migrants

FYI: If you're talking about rounding people up because they're Muslim, your big concern isn't "religious freedom."- LOLGOP

Welcome Mat Pulled In As Refugees Overwhelm SE Europe
 Across southeast Europe, nations closed borders, blocked bridges, shut down trains and built new razor-wire fences Friday in a rush to block tens of thousands seeking safety in Western Europe from crossing their territories.




Republican Party, your frontrunner is talking about rounding up law-abiding citizens now. Maybe take a few decades off.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

• The Republican Party has an allergy to facts
• FactChecking the CNN Republican Debate
• Christian conservatives rally for religious awakening
• Kimmel Prankster Trolls Trump Speech While Wearing 'DTF' Hat 
• GOPer To Boycott Pope's DC Speech: I Won't Listen To His 'Leftist Policies'

The New York Times is reporting that in recent speeches Donald Trump has seemed more composed and toned down, and has started using prepared notes. Now instead of just calling people “losers” and “morons,” he reads it off a card.- Seth Myers

Trump's Trump Card Are The Birthers
Donald Trump came under fire Friday morning for his handling of a question at a town hall about when the U.S. can "get rid" of Muslims, for failing to take issue with that premise and an assertion that President Barack Obama is Muslim.

The guy CNN hired to fact check ‪#‎GOPDebate‬ just called his wife to sob into the phone that he still has no idea when he'll get home.- John Fugelsang

Hillary Tells The Donald To Stop The Anti-Muslim Stuff
Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton told her Republican counterpart to "cut it out" late Thursday night, after Donald Trump declined to correct an audience member who referred to President Barack Obama as a Muslim.




Rock The Voter News

• Bernie Sanders defends costs of social programs
• Hillary Clinton campaign deploys not-so-secret weapon: Bill 

"According to a new poll, almost half of Florida voters think their own candidates, Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio, should drop out of the race. While the other half of Florida keeps asking what happened to Eisenhower." –Jimmy Fallon





GOP House Blocks Planned Parenthood Funding For A Year
The House on Friday voted along party lines to freeze federal funding for Planned Parenthood after weeks of escalating tension surrounding its use of fetal tissue.
In a 241-187 vote, nearly all Republicans and two Democrats approved legislation that would block Planned Parenthood's federal funding for one year, giving time for Congress to fully investigate claims of wrongdoing by the provider.

Bristol Palin is just mad nobody's offered her a job at Unplanned Parenthood.- John Fugelsang

Twitter says there's a poll that says 43%of Republicans think Obama is a Muslim. The 1% counts on that 43%.- Paula Poundstone




Business/Tech News

• Oil down awaiting U.S. rig count; worry over high global supply
• China is asking U.S. tech firms to sign this controversial new pledge
• Household wealth in U.S. rose in second quarter on real estate
• Volkswagen Is Told to Recall Nearly 500,000 Vehicles Over Emissions Software
• US Eases Cuba Travel, Business Restrictions 

Trump gave a speech from the deck of a battleship where he warned us about crime and drugs coming from down below. “The drug cartels are going wild. They cannot believe how stupid our government is. They are making a fortune. The drugs come in, the money goes out, daily.” He's right, we have to start making drugs in America again, American drugs.- Jimmy Kimmel

A Political Punch In The Face? Why,Yes, Alcohol Was Involved.
A top official for Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) is accusing a rival staffer with Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) of punching him in the face...John Yob, the national political director for Paul’s 2016 presidential campaign, says the incident occurred early Friday morning in a bar on Mackinac Island, Mich.





WHY ARE ALL YOU CONSERVATIVES CALLING OBAMA A CANCER WHEN HE IS IN FACT A LEO. - JokeBlogger.com

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Please. :)

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Odd News

• Note to the U.S. Congress: No gladhanding the Pope
• Road-raging Mercedes driver shoots himself in the leg
• Now you see it, now you don't: invisibility cloak nears reality
• Florida woman arrested in 'booby trapped' home with more than 3,700 blades
• Seal Surfing On A Humpback Whale Is Riding In Style

Time To Deflate Photo

 Mt. Fuji, Japan.

Peace.

Jeb Admits He Smoked Marihoochie During Debate

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Fox Host: Jeb Bush Is A "Beta Male" Compared To Trump
ANDREA TANTAROS: Alright, so was it a good night for Jeb, exclamation point? I mean, I think the first clip that we played, Jonah, I don't know, that was awkward, when you ask someone to apologize and Donald Trump didn't. That made him look really weak. And then the second one, the rambling about the Bush advisers and how many people. I mean I wondered if he was still hitting the Mary Jane.



Only early "Saturday Night Live" viewers will get my phototoon above. :)



Jeb Bush revealed he smoked pot in high school, but did not disclose what drug his brother was on when he invaded Iraq.- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Blasts in central Baghdad leave 23 dead, 68 wounded
• Syrian army starts using new weapons from Russia - military source
• US releases Moroccan after more than 13 years at Guantanamo
• U.S. says more sanctions possible response to any North Korea launch
• U.N. rights chief calls Hungary callous, xenophobic, anti-Muslim
• Ballooning refugee costs threaten Germany's cherished budget goals
• U.S. report calls for release of immigrant children from detention
• Pope decries 'ocean of pain' in Syria and Iraq

They're at the library of a man who armed both Saddam and the ayatollah. Irony just hanged itself in a cheap hotel.  #GOPDebate - John Fugelsang

Great Job AP!
 More than 2,000 fishermen have been rescued this year from brutal conditions at sea, liberated as a result of an Associated Press investigation into seafood brought to the U.S. from a slave island in eastern Indonesia.





Republican Shenanigans

• U.S. Republican debate brings outsider Fiorina to the fore
• GOP senator breaks with McConnell strategy
• Judge wants Alabama court to defy SCOTUS so he won’t have to issue licenses to ‘commit sodomy’
• Kim Davis inspires NC mayoral candidate to jail gays: ‘What’s wrong with eradicating homosexuals?’
• Bristol Palin Bashes Obama for Inviting Ahmed Mohamed to White House

I enjoyed Fiorina's smackdown of Trump as much as anyone. But let's be honest: when the biggest moment of a debate is one candidate rebuking another for making fun of her face, we are not exactly in Lincoln-Douglas territory.- Andy Borowitz




The World Is Ending: 10 GOP Congressmen Believe In Climate Change!
Nearly a dozen Republican members of Congress will break ranks with leaders of their party on Thursday, and call for action against climate change.

A conservative super PAC just announced yesterday that they plan to spend $1 million on campaign ads attacking Donald Trump. Trump was like, “Make it $2 million and I'll STAR in them!"- Jimmy Fallon

Rock The Voter News

• Republicans should fund U.S. budget on time: White House
• A sarcastic Bernie Sanders live-tweets the GOP debate 
• Hillary Clinton eager for Planned Parenthood fight with GOP 
• Watch Hillary Clinton's ad mocking the Republican debate

When I took office, 800,000 Americans lost their jobs each month. Our businesses have now added 13.1 million jobs over 66 straight months. - President Obama

Latino Republicans. Yes, They Do Exist.
Bob Cortes, a Republican legislator in Florida, fears he is losing the Hispanic vote that helped get him elected. The culprits: Republican presidential candidates such as Donald Trump who are railing against immigration.
The upcoming visit by the most socially progressive pope in generations threatens to alienate them even more, driving a further wedge between Cortes’ party and the Hispanic voters it needs to win back in order to retake the White House.

U.S. Appeals Court: Rosaries To Stay In Ovaries
 A U.S. appeals court has ruled that President Barack Obama's healthcare law violates the rights of religiously affiliated employers by forcing them to help provide contraceptive coverage even though they do not have to pay for it.

Given a choice, I'm pretty sure most Americans would prefer to shut down the Republican Party over Planned Parenthood.- LOLGOP




Business/Tech News

• Oil ends lower, little changed after Fed
• Stock Markets End Slightly Lower After Fed Decision
• American Airlines working to recover from flight delays
• More than 20 million people watched Republican debate: CNN

In China, people are selling their kidney to buy an iPhone 6. What's going to happen when the iPhone 7 comes out?- Conan O'Brien




Boehner Declares Martial Law To Stop Government Shutdown
The House voted Thursday to give GOP leaders flexibility next week in fast-tracking a spending bill to avoid a government shutdown.
Democrats protested over the move, known as martial law, which allows the House to consider a rule that establishes procedural guidelines for debating legislation on the same day it is produced by the House Committee on Rules.

"Real country music, not what they call country today, which is basically a bad rock band with a fiddle."- Tom Petty.

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Odd News

• Russia summons Polish ambassador to protest removal of Soviet era statue
• China to prosecute former official for 'crazily luxurious' club
• Seattle Aquarium trains otter to use inhaler for asthma
• Virgin Snake Gives Birth For 2nd Time In 2 Years
• Man Stabs Himself While Trying To Steal Phone, Police Say

Time To Deflate Photo

Elephant Foot Glacier, Greenland.

Peace.