TGIF?

Internet Interuptus

The god of the Internet dropped by today.

He fixed my connection temporarily.

This too shall pass for about a week.

I will post a new edition tomorrow on Saturday because I love you all so much!

Thank you for surfing over to All Hat No Cattle!

I hope I didn't scare you with that graphic but that is how I felt when I got back online today.

Trump lead in polls, Obama Laughs

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Trump hits 30 percent in new poll
Donald Trump has reached a new high in the race for the Republican presidential nomination.
According to a Monmouth University survey released on Thursday, Trump takes 30 percent support nationally, a four-point gain over the same survey from before the first GOP debate.



THE ONLY MARRIAGE LICENSES I RECOGNIZE ARE ONES BETWEEN A DYING POLITICAL PARTY AND A RACE-BAITING CANDIDATE IT'S AFRAID WILL LEAVE IT. - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Hungary police force migrants from train tracks; dead boy's image shocks Europe
• Iran's Khamenei backs parliamentary vote on nuclear deal with powers - state TV
• Democratic support piles up for Iran nuclear deal in Senate
• Turkey frees two British reporters held court on terror charges
• China cuts military manpower, but showcases strength at WWII parade

UFC fighter Ronda Rousey accepted a Marine's invitation to the Marine Corps ball in December. When they heard Ronda Rousey was teaming up with the Marines, ISIS was like, "We surrender!"- Jimmy Fallon

Jail Time For Kentucky Krazy Klerk
Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who refused to issue gay marriage licenses, has been found in contempt of court and taken into federal custody.
According to AP, U.S. District Judge David Bunning said Thursday that Davis would be held in jail until she complied with the previous court orders to begin granting the marriage licenses.





#KimDavis' attorney is demanding a fullsize cross be installed in her jail cell, so she can climb up on it. - Wisco Tweet

GOP, when you find that special guy willing to ridicule & deport the families of America's fastest growing group of voters, never let him go. - LOLGOP





Republican Shenanigans

• Donald Trump Signs RNC Loyalty Pledge, Rules Out Third-Party Run
• Trump hits Carson: Doctors don’t create jobs
• Trump: Flag burning should be illegal
• Trump: Obama plays more golf ‘than people on the PGA Tour’
• Bush says he'd back Trump as Republican presidential candidate
• Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick blames NPR for violence against cops: ‘Your type of interview has to stop’

In an interview with CNN, former Vice President Dick Cheney said that he has no plans to endorse Donald Trump. When asked if he'd have a change of heart, Cheney was like, "Yes, every week."- Jimmy Fallon

Trump Dropping Out? Naw.
Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Thursday gave a puzzling response to Donald Trump’s assertion that he is dropping out of the presidential race.

“You know, a broken clock is right once a day,” Perry told Fox News’s Gretchen Carlson.

'Politically Correct' is the politically correct way of saying 'Less Dickish.'- John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

• White House On Jailing Of Kentucky Clerk: 'No Public Official' Is Above The Law
• Bernie Sanders Calls Out Donald Trump As An Embarrassment To The USA
• Top Clinton aide testifies in closed-door session on Capitol Hill

Republicans tell us no diplomacy with Iran will ever work but the way to rein in Trump is with a pledge.- Tina Dupuy

The odds of living to age 100 will double by 2020, as will the odds of having to work at a Walmart 'til you're 90.- John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

• US stocks end slightly higher as oil rally fades
• Jobless claims rise, but labor market strengthening, say experts
• Metal fragments were found in this brand's burgers
• Trio Charged With Running $54M Green-Energy Ponzi Scheme

McDonalds franchisees vote for all-day breakfast, proving that America can still do great things if we limit voting to business owners only.- Tea Party Cat




Sad News
French investigators have formally identified a washed-up piece of plane debris found in July on a remote island in the Indian Ocean as part of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, a Boeing 777 that disappeared more than a year ago with 239 people aboard.

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Mea culpa for another late post. Tomorrow the cable guy is coming by and I hope he can fix the Internet connection!

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Odd News

• Fox News anchor sues Hasbro over toy hamster with her name
• Connecticut Gov. Malloy is photobombed by beluga whale
• Police: Man huffed keyboard spray after crash as cop watched
• China enlists monkeys to keep birds from spoiling big parade
• Write An Essay And Win A Historic Vermont Inn

Time To Deflate Photo

Oh yeah, that could be me or you!

Peace.

Iran Is A Done Deal

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Obama gets Iran deal win as Senate Dems amass enough votes
President Barack Obama secured a landmark foreign policy victory Wednesday as Senate Democrats amassed enough votes to ensure the Iran nuclear deal survives in Congress, despite ferocious opposition from Republicans and the government of Israel.




JohnKerry: The people of Israel will be safer with Iran Deal. The same is true for people throughout the region. 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Rubio: Iran deal is not 'binding on the next administration'
• Gunmen kill 2 Yemeni Red Cross workers
• Lebanon government powerless as protesters escalate campaign

Reagan would never have sunk to having his Iran arms deal approved by "Congress."- LOLGOP

Jeb Brings Out Big Guns Aimed At Trump
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is attacking fellow GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump’s fear of germs.




The guys who told us war with Iraq would lead to peace are now telling us that diplomacy guarantees war. It's almost as if war is the goal.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

• Republicans lack votes to defund Planned Parenthood: McConnell
• Donald Trump supports Kanye West’s 2020 presidential bid
• Weiner: Trump's attack on wife 'outrageous'
• Ben Carson campaign reaping cash as he rises in GOP polls

HISTORY TRIVIA: A mountain in Alaska was called Denali until illegal immigrants renamed it Mt McKinley.Andy Borowitz

Today, Meet Trump Chump
GOP presidential front-runner Donald Trump said on Wednesday that he would enjoy playing a round of golf with President Obama for control of the Oval Office...





NBC considers rebranding "Meet the Press." Names being considered:
- The Ted Cruz Comedy Hour
- No Facts Allowed
- Chuck Todd Pet Detective - The Daily Edge

GOP fired up about “anti-police” rhetoric see no conflict in their 7 year, daily “anti-president of the united states” rhetoric- Jason Kaplan




Rock The Voter News

• Obama offended by attacks on Jews who back Iran deal
• Can Clinton candidacy unravel over her emails?
• Bernie Sanders Refuses To Talk Negatively About Hillary Clinton During Outlandish Interveiw 

Tony Soprano Daycare Workers?
Two former daycare workers in North Jersey are charged with forcing children into a so-called "fight club" on the school playground.




When you say something racist and then try to justify why it's not actually racist that's called Foxplaining. - OhNoSheTwitnt

Another Climate Record Broken. Oh My.
The current El Nino weather phenomenon is expected peak between October and January and could turn into one of the strongest on record, experts from the World Meteorological Organization said at a news conference on Tuesday.




NASA Deploys Congressional Rover To Search For Funding - The Onion

Business/Tech News

• Stocks rebound: Dow jumps almost 300, Nasdaq surges 2.5%
• Texas regulator clears oil and gas company of causing quakes
• State Fines Owner of California Spring Water Firm
• China Sends a Message With World War II Parade

I support keeping the US minimum wage at $7.25hr  but only for Congress b/c those guys already live off their tips.- John Fugelsang

A lot of people are upset that our president is appearing on a reality show. A little over a year from now, we might have a president who hosted a reality show. So get used to it...You know, Donald Trump?- Jimmy Kimmel

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Odd News

• 'Bizarre,' Human-Size Sea Scorpion Found in Ancient Meteorite Crater
• Teen Girl Fakes Triplet Pregnancy For 10 Months
• Texas teen fatally shoots himself while taking selfie
• Bill Cosby 'Rapeseed' Portrait Removed From County Fair
• Senator with son named McKinley decries mountain name change

Time To Deflate Photo

A New York Hot Dog Stand in the 40's.


Peace.